The Bully in Your Relationship: Stand Up to Emotional Abuse and Get the Love You Deserve [Hardcover]

Anne-Renee Testa (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: July 13, 2007

Are you being bullied in your relationship?

Maybe it's your husband, wife, partner, boyfriend, or girlfriend.

Maybe you feel you're being belittled or berated, manipulated, or controlled.

Maybe you try to shrug it off, telling yourself it's not so bad.

The truth is: You are a victim of emotional abuse--but you don't have to take it anymore.

You have the power to make it stop.

In this inspiring and life-changing book, acclaimed psychologist and relationship expert Anne-Renée Testa, Ph.D., shows you how to find your inner strength, learn to stand up for yourself, and finally get the love and respect you deserve.

“So many people have their lives torn apart over emotional abuse. Dr. Testa's book is a must-read for anyone who finds themselves in a destructive relationship.”
--Nancy Grace Host of CNN's Headline News “Nancy Grace” and of Court TV's “Nancy Grace's Closing Arguments”

“She tells it like it is and gives an honest and direct approach to get yourself out of an unhealthy relationship.”
--Maury Povich

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Anne-Renée Testa, Ph.D., is a nationally renowned psychologist, relationship coach, and media expert. She has appeared on “Today,” “Good Morning America,” and other programs on CNN, NBC, ABC, FOX, and Court TV.

Product Details

• Hardcover: 320 pages
• Publisher: McGraw-Hill; 1 edition (July 13, 2007)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0071481362
• ISBN-13: 978-0071481366
• Product Dimensions: 9.2 x 6.4 x 1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (8 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #228,472 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • #83 in Books > Health, Fitness & Dieting > Mental Health > Abuse & Self Defense > Domestic Violence

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

14 of 14 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars One of the most helpful books about emotional abuse, August 17, 2007

By 

Dianne Kelly - See all my reviews

This review is from: The Bully in Your Relationship: Stand Up to Emotional Abuse and Get the Love You Deserve (Hardcover)

The Bully in Your Relationship: Stop Emotional Abuse and Get the Love You Deserve by Anne-Renee Testa, Ph.D. is one of the most helpful books about emotional abuse available. This up-to-date guide is easy to read, if sometimes painful to digest, and comes across more like a counseling session than the usual impersonal textbooks on the topic.

Although the first half of The Bully details the types of bullies and the denial abused people employ to stay in damaging relationships, the second half makes it all worthwhile. Dr. Testa states, "This impressive body of knowledge you've gained gives you a solid foundation to stand on as you move forward. You know all about the bullying problem--backward, forward, upside down, and inside out. Now it's time for the solution: my A.R.T. Method."

The A.R.T. method: Acknowledge, Reassess, Take action is based on some of the principles underlying popular 12-step programs and includes workbook activities which will prove a boon to the person who has the suspicion that something may be terribly wrong with their relationship. Dr. Testa's A.R.T. method will help anyone in a bullying relationship take a fresh look at the bully in their lives, tame the bully that lies within them, and begin the slow, rewarding process of change that will ultimately give them the power to overcome their situation.

One important caveat: Dr. Testa does not acknowledge the real, physical danger some women (and men) face in violent relationships, and at one point states "Open up a space in your mind, and affirm the following...'I'm safe and secure...I'm not in any danger--the fear that I'm feeling right now is about the past, not the present.'" Most experts agree that while "doing it scared" is necessary to overcoming abuse, taking safety precautions can be vital: retaliation all too often results in physical attacks, lasting trauma, and sometimes, sadly, even death.

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars The Bully in your relationship, October 7, 2008

By 

Diana O., AZ - See all my reviews

This review is from: The Bully in Your Relationship: Stand Up to Emotional Abuse and Get the Love You Deserve (Hardcover)

This book was offering what it promissed. If you feel you are in an emotionally abusive relationship - this book is for you. The first part explains why people become bullies or vicitms of bullies and the second part gives you a practical 3 Step "Exersise Program" to help you see weather it is worth you staying in this relationship or not. It confirmed my views and help me make the nessesary changes. The book also offers web-sites and other sources that offer help. If you feel you are emotionally abused by your partner - YOU NEED THIS BOOK!!! It is worth it's weight in gold.

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A must read book to all those in need, October 30, 2008

By 

Caroline J. Connor (Waterbury, Ct) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: The Bully in Your Relationship: Stand Up to Emotional Abuse and Get the Love You Deserve (Hardcover)

I found this book to touch my very soul and bring to the realization of what I had gone through in my relationship with a "Bully". It made me see a side of me I didnt know existed and took away the fog of my past life with this bully. Its a must read for any woman who has gone through and been in a bully relationship. It makes you see things that were always there right in front of your eyes but you were too much in "love" to know it. I highly recommend this book.