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Burned Alive: A Survivor of an "Honor Killing" Speaks Out

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THis is a true story despite the fact that some of these reviewers don't want to admit it. Even the reviewer from Egypt knows this happened.

Unfortunately, it seems as if people just do not want to face the truth about a culture that minimizes or degrades the role of women in society. Souad's story is NOT the exception to the rule. Honor killings happen more often than we know. The problem I think the reviewers are having is that Souad lived and is drawing attention to a problem that exists, usually silencing the victims. Here's a case where the victim wasn't silenced afterall.

From day ONE, boys are welcomed and girls are not. Furthermore, men can have up to four wives. They do not consult their first wife and ask her if they will accept wife number 2,3, or 4! One can argue that it's a cultural preference and he or she would be correct that it's a cultural preference for the men. From what I've read, it's usually not the preference for the women involved although, admittedly, many do not question their fate. Practicing monogomy increases the woman's value in our society. Although Souad's father did NOT have other wives, the value system those in these countries have specifically devalue women. The Taliban in Afghanistan was borne from orthodoxy in Islam. Wahhabism in Saudi Arabia is also extreme.

The author's retelling of her story was moving. She freely admits that some memories are unclear. She's tormented about the fact that she cannot remember her sister's name. She recounts her life, however, with extreme honesty. She's emotional, yet removed. I am happy that this woman is living happily presently and has reunited with her son, noting that she still has to deal with her literal and figurative scars of her former life.

This might not be a usual story, but it is indeed representative of this repressive and misogynistic culture.

"Burned Alive" is an insightful account of a heinous and violent crime, that is unfortunately rather common.

Souad describes thoughtfully how she was treated worse than an animal while she lived as a slave; owned by her father in a primitive West Bank Village. On a daily basis Souad was the victim of beatings and horrible abuse. Why is that?

Because like virtually all third-world/Islamic States, women are property; not human-beings. Souad is nothing if not honest and brave as she describes in detail how it is a sin simply to be born female. She even describes how her mother murdered her own newborn baby daughters because of their gender!

Souad was forbidden to ever speak to a man and could only go outside to work her long daily chores. When she was still a teenager one of her neighbors raped her repeatedly. She was young and vulnerable and this pig told her that he "loved" her and would "marry" her. But after Souad became pregnant this rapist abandoned her!

Poor Souad goes into detail about how she tried to hide her pregnancy because she knew that it would surely mean her execution. When her family was finally aware of her pregnancy (more than 6 months later), they had her brother-in-law douse her with gasoline and set her on fire. Soaud bravely describes how this felt and how she was treated.

This story is very sad, shocking, tragic but also hopeful. There are millions and millions of women who have been victims of these horrible honor murders. Souad is unique because she is a survivor. She survived her attempted murder. Her family left her for dead, but she survived. And she was able to start a new life!

My hope is that this book will be passed around in the Islamic third-world villages where women are treated worse than garbage. Proper education is the solution. No one deserves to be treated the way Soaud was; there is no justification for this.

Souad is a very courageous woman, not just for surviving, but for also telling her story. She still feels guilty, but if I could speak to her now I would tell her that she is a shero and has nothing to be ashamed off. Souad has lived another day to tell her harrowing story to the world.

I want to thank you for writing this book. It is a horrific account of one woman, who is also an example of many women around the world whose human rights are less than that of an animal. I am so sorry for all you have been through.

It is because of the stories that I have read that have caused me to join hw.org - Human Rights Watch - Defending Human Rights Worldwide. The barbaric torture of women, the honor killings, the rape, stoning, burning alive will come to an end. Your story along with a few others was the major catalyst in my decision for helping to bring this to an end in any way I can.

Reading about what this girl endured was chilling. It is a book like this that causes humanity to take a stand for humanity. Souad is a hero. She speaks out. Because of her words and courage she is a catalyst for humanitarian change, especially for women and children around the world.

This is a book that I feel should be required reading in every school, in every land, until this torture comes to an end.

Read this book! This is a story where you might ask "why" something like this could happen. Maybe the reason is so we see to it that it never happens again.

This book held my interest and at times made for shocking reading. A country with beliefs so foreign to us made it almost abhorant. The true tragedy is how women in other cultures suffer and we are powerless to do anything to stop it. This book was written by a very very brave woman.

I read this book when it first came out in hardback and admit I was blown away although I am someone who is VERY familiar with the challenges so many women face worldwide. I am disappointed with reviewers who state that the book is not true and only have one question: HOW CAN YOU KNOW THIS FOR A FACT? CAN YOU PROVE WHAT YOU ARE SAYING? The truth is that you cannot possibly know and that you are simply angry and making unfair statements. Life is stranger than fiction and no one but the author of this book knows for certain, but I suspect that this story IS true. There are many people who believe that such book exposures are meant to attack a culture or a religion. This is not true. You should not take these true stories as an attack on you or your country or your culture. These are individual stories that do not reflect on you, yet should be made known. This does not mean that your culture or your land does not have many wonderful aspects. I, myself, write about women's issues and just so happen to write about the Arab world because that is where I lived for much of my adult life and that is what I know, and women from the area come to me oftentimes asking that I tell their stories. Although I write true stories of women in the Arab world, and those stories are heart-wretching, I am still aware that there are many women living happy lives in Arab lands, and that there are many wonderful things about Arab culture and lands...things that we westerners can learn from and better ourselves. But the issue of abuse on women is one that should concern every caring person. Even if most women live in safety in the Arab world, it does not mean that ALL women live without abuse. Every life is different and readers from the Arab world should be glad such stories are exposed and work to stop the abuse of women, rather than gripe when stories are made public. I am from the United States yet am not ashamed to admit that we have many abuses of women here. I myself know some professional women (doctors, lawyers) who live in abusive relationships, which is horrifying. Yet I have found that a very important difference is that women in the USA who have an abuse problem CAN seek help from society and generally will find help. Sadly, in the Middle East when a woman complains of abuse, society generally BLAMES HER for the abuse rather than the man who is abusing her! Few people will step up and try to help. Why? Because they are worried that they themselves will be targeted. Also, to expose abuse is considered a huge shame on the country. This should not be the case. No one blames an entire country for a few bad people. If anyone in the area will be honest, they will admit that abuse of women is a genuine problem. Rarely will anyone help a woman in need. The area is still a part of the world where men are more valued than women, and until this attitude changes, a lot of women will pay the ultimate price, and will live miserable lives. For example: I still have very educated Arab friends who mourn at the birth of daughters and express openly their desire for sons only. Even the educated women I know keep this attitude ongoing, which is shocking considering the fact they are women and they should work to make the status of women high. It is a huge problem. When will the world acknowledge the truth that a baby girl is no less than a baby boy, both are precious and there should be rejoicing at the birth of either. So, those of you who make statements that this story is not true, perhaps you should look around the world and know that cruelty upon women knows no bounds. I believe that anything is possible and nothing in this arena surprised me anymore. Princess: A True Story of Life Behind the Veil in Saudi Arabia;Mayada, Daughter of Iraq: One Woman's Survival Under Saddam Hussein[;[ASIN:0470067292 Love in a Torn Land: Joanna of Kurdistan: The True Story of a Freedom Fighter's Escape from Iraqi Vengeance]]

Once you open this book, don't plan to do much else until you've reached the last page. It is that engrossing. Simply written, it tells a story of a world in which women are worth less, even to their own mothers, than the animals they care for. A world where even little girls are subjected to what is for us unthinkable violence -- and where, at any moment, they may be condemned to death by the very family members whose role, to our Western way of thinking, should be to treasure and protect them.

And for what crimes? Raising their eyes from their feet while on the street? Talking to a boy they are not related to? When Souad makes it clear to the boy next door that she wants to meet him and talk to him, we want to shout, "Don't! Don't!"

A simple book, an easy read -- but not a book you read and forget. Many lessons to be learned. Many, many lessons.

I was wandering through Barnes & Noble when I spotted a book with a strange cover of a white mask. That was enough to grab my attention and the next thing I knew I was reading the entire book in the store, I just could not put it down. In a way this book came 12 years late for me; my college friend lived in Saudi Arabia and the stories she told me I only listened half-heartedly, partly because the problems of middle-eastern women was not my problem and mostly I had exams to worry about. But I never dismissed her stories as exaggeration because her stories nearly echoed the stories of an Arab-Palestinian (though she called her self Jordanian) classmate back in high school. It was around the same time we heard about an immigrant Muslim father in California (I think) who killed his teenage daughter with the help of his wife. His killing was caught on the FBI wire and his worthless life was sent to prison.

Anyhoo, "Burned Alive" reminded me of "Princess: A True Story of Life Behind the Veil in Saudi Arabia" by Jean Sasson. The two women's background couldn't be more dissimilar, one from a near-primitive villiage somewhere in Palestine and the other from an extended royal family. But their anger and dispair couldn't be more similar. Sasson's harsh dialogue over the state of her country echoed Souad's wordings regarding the Arabian/Islam culture in general. Sasson fantasized at one point of seeing her whole country burn with fire in order to cleanse it, so strong was her disgust of the men's behavior in her world. Souad is constantly ranting and raving against the men of her culture, and given the horrendous abuse she endured one cannot blame her for her words. At one point she lectured her European husband on why their daughters must never marry men from the middle-east. Men are rarely punished for adultery in Muslim countries. Even rape victims (some as young as 4) are killed in honor killings because it is believed that women and even young girls lead men on and the men can't control themselves. It is fairly common in Jordan, Egypt, and Pakistan but it is usually disguised as a suicide or accident. I read how Britain's police are reinvestigating the "suicides" of young Muslim women of the last 10 years, now suspected to be honor-killings instead.

In the end I believe "Burned Alive" to be a true autobiography because the personal stories I've been hearing (including from one Pakistanian ex-boyfriend - hey, I was in high school so youth and stupidity was my excuse) for the past 15 years have been eerily similar.

I found this book moving. I guess there is some controversy if she is a real person and if the story is real. I tend to believe so. Her account of what happened seems like how a young girl would think, especially an uneducated teenager with a romantic streak to her personality.

I have PTSD and so how she reacts to situations rings true to me. How she coped with her children seems authentic to me.

When I read memoirs, I keep in mind that people will embellish their stories. Sometimes subconsciously. I think our memories tend to be tarnished by our own hopes, how we view ourselves and others, temperament and personality and other factors. Take 10 people who watched the same accident and you will get 10 different accounts about what happened. You have to read autobiographies and keep that in mind instead of being literal.

I also read that this book will cause more anti-Arabic sentiment among readers. As someone who lived around many Arab-Americans when I lived in my hometown, I can testify that Arabs are like anyone else. There are good and bad among them. And yes, some do tend to treat their women badly. I remember one Arab asked for directions and he became mad at me because I was looking him in the eyes. So he cussed me out before I could finish giving him his request. Well, I swore back at him and he looked astonished! I guess he wasn't used to women not taking any guff.

I also had a landlord who was Arab-American. He said he would never take his wife to Saudi Arabia and told me accounts of abuse that happens there. He was kind and I don't think he would ever intentionally hurt his wife. He owned a store and occasionally give my children stuff.

I recommend this book and it will make you angry. This treatment of women should not be acceptable in any culture. But this disgusting custom is not an excuse to hate someone for what nationality or religion they are.

I read this book when it was first released. I was at Borders, bored, and picked it up to glance through. I ended up sitting down and reading the whole thing, right there in the store in the space of a few hours. Briefly, it tells the true story of a young, unmarried Arab woman who gets pregnant. For this "crime" her brother-in-law pours gasoline over her and lights her on fire. Her family supports his actions and when she survives, tries again to kill her in the hospital. She flees the country and the culture, and moves on as best she can.

There are quite a few reviewers below who question the accuracy of this narrative. Who claim this book is stereotyping Arabs. I think these comments don't serve anyone, not even the people making them. Honor killings do happen. How often, I don't know, but the governments DO endorse these killings by barely penalizing the killers. To acknowledge these facts doesn't mean all Arab men support honor killings, an attitude some reviewers have said this story promotes. To me, these facts say more about the dangers of rampant patriarchy, in general, and the sacrifices individual people are forced to make under a government heavily influenced by any conservative religion. But take what you want from this story, only don't try to take this story from it's author. To call Souad an exagerrator or say she should have remained silenced is to pretend that fire never ran over her body. I don't imagine that willfull ignorance will ever be a luxury she has.
When I first read this book, I never read it as a statement about ALL of the Arab world; maybe because I'm half Arabic myself, and I know better. But in case you're not in the position to know better from experience, try to keep this in mind: we live in a patriarchal world. This is the story of one woman from one country, but it is thematically universal. Women are oppressed and abused everywhere, and when women are killed anywhere in the world, the chance that their killer was a friend or relative is very very high.

Politics aside, this is a very readable book. It is shocking, and it will grab you and not let go. Hopefully, it will not only make you sad, but also inspire you to step out of your comfortable life and do something for the betterment of someone who has it harder than you. And if you've already taken that step, then maybe it will remind you why you did.

I lived in the Middle East for a number of years and learned of the practice of honor killings among Arabs. When I started reading Burned Alive: A Survivor of an "Honor Killing" Speaks Out, it was with a sense of memory and not shock. Sadly, governments still look aside at these murders.

Family honor is seen as being above secular law. It is set and carried out only by the males of a family. Here, women truly are chattel and serve as slaves. They are owned by their fathers, sold to their husbands and, if necessary, become the property of brothers, or uncles. Women are regarded with less empathy than animals.

It is in this setting that girls are born (sometimes killed at birth by their mothers, as they diminish the family's wealth, not add to it), raised, and often married soon after menses begin. The system denies any independence to its females: no schooling, no choices, nothing but complete subservience.

Souad, 17 and already considered an old maid, was losing hope of ever having her father select a husband for her because girls are married off in birth order, and no prospects for marriage were in the offing for her older sister. Completely naive and desperate, she allowed herself to believe a neighbor loved and would marry her. She became pregnant by him. Souad was able to keep her pregnancy hidden for close to two trimesters. When accused of immorality by her parents, she denied it and they waited an additional month for her to menstruate.

Alas, time and options ran out. Her brother-in-law was chosen to vindicate the family's honor by killing her. Should she remain in their village, her family would be ruined and they would have to move out in disgrace.

He douses her with gasoline and sets her afire. Souad runs out of the family's yard in shock and fear and the village women extinguish the flames. She is taken to an Arab hospital and left to die. The doctors don't treat her; not her pain, nor her wounds. The nurses ignore her. Souad herself, waits, hoping for death. It is in this isolated, barren hospital that she gives premature birth, alone, to her son.

Jacqueline, a Swiss relief worker with SURGIR hears of her plight and visits her. She enlists the aid of a young Arab doctor to get help for Souad. He risks severe repercussions, knowing that he is working against an ancient system. Eventually, she is able to get Souad and her baby on a flight to Switzerland, getting her the care and surgeries she desperately needs.

Souad writes of her childhood, often lacking basic information. She isn't quite sure of her birth date, the name of one of her sisters, and some events in her life. Her surest memories are of her life after her attempted murder. She and Jacqueline write alternate chapters, each adding details that flesh-out (no pun intended)the picture they want us to see. In the 25 years since that horrific day, Souad emerges as a woman who is married, the mother of three, and employed in a modern-day society. From illiterate impoverished slave, to a woman who speaks a second language, reads and writes, Souad's flight--literally and metaphorically transports her centuries beyond her earlier life.

Like Salman Rushie, Souad lives abroad in a secret place, fearful that she may yet be found. Her death would once-more bring honor to her family's name.

Those of us fortunate to be free--women and men--must do what we can to educate others to bring about reforms. Whether it is genocide, female genital mutilation, or honor killings, we are obligated to help others. I urge you to read this book and encourage others to read it. By being informed, we can effect change.