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But Inside I'm Screaming [Paperback]

Elizabeth Flock
3.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (46 customer reviews)


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Book Description

September 1, 2005
But inside I'm screaming is one woman's unforgettable story about what it is to lose control as the world watches, to figure out what went so very wrong and to accept an imperfect life in a world that demands perfection.

While breaking the hottest news story of the year, broadcast journalist Isabel Murphy falls apart on live television in front of an audience of millions. She lands at Three Breezes, a four-star psychiatric hospital nicknamed the "nut hut," where she begins the painful process of recovering the life everyone thought she had.

But accepting her place among her fellow patients proves difficult. Isabel struggles to reconcile the fact that she is, indeed, one of them, and faces the reality that in order to mend her painfully fractured life she must rely solely on herself.



Editorial Reviews

Review

"A riveting, fast-paced tale by a first-time novelist with a gift for breathing life into her characters." -- Judy Woodruff, anchor, CNN's Inside Politics

"An absorbing novel . . . this former reporter writes a story that's hard to put down." -- Oakland Tribune

"An insightful, touching, and, yes, even funny account of what it's like to lose control as the world watches." -- New York Times bestselling author Mary Jane Clark

About the Author

As a correspondent for CBS News she traveled the world to feed her hunger for the big story of the day. The handover of Hong Kong from British rule back to the Chinese, the historic meeting between Pope John Paul II and Fidel Castro in Havana, Cuba, and London’s reaction to the death and funeral of Princess Diana -- Flock covered them all. In between there were plane crashes, race riots, floods and famine. Few knew that while she was jetting from one breaking news story to another she was battling clinical depression.

Network correspondents will be the first to tell of the personal sacrifice that’s made to follow the story, to beat the competition. Marriages crumble, children grow estranged, friendships wither. Few, though, talk about the inward struggle to stay sane in the middle of chaos. But Inside I'm Screaming takes the reader into a fictionalized fight for sanity.

Soon after returning from living abroad in London, Elizabeth Flock landed in San Francisco reporting for both Time and People magazines. While she was at Time her work included several cover stories, one investigating Chinese gang activity, another on the current movement toward the preservation of marriage, a third on the fiery siege at the Branch Davidian compound in Waco, Texas. For People Flock covered many Bay Area stories, among them the Ellie Nesler story of a mother who shot and killed the man suspected of molesting her son. After five years of print reporting, Flock was drawn to television. Soon she was anchoring and reporting at a 24-hour cable network based in San Francisco and writing for the NBC affiliate news station.

But New York beckoned and, after a freelance stint covering the crash of TWA Flight 800 for CBS, she was hired, handed a beeper and cell phone and began working on the ulcer that would ultimately slow her down and change her life.

By 1998 Flock knew she could no longer make the sacrifice required of a rising network star and instead chose the peaceful life of writing. But Inside I'm Screaming is her first novel.

A graduate of Vanderbilt University, Elizabeth Flock is married, has two stepdaughters, four cats and a dog and lives in Chicago. She is currently working on her second novel.

Copyright © 2003 Elizabeth Flock --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.


Product Details

  • Paperback: 316 pages
  • Publisher: Mira; Reprint edition (September 1, 2005)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0778322106
  • ISBN-13: 978-0778322108
  • Product Dimensions: 8 x 5 x 0.9 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 9.6 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 3.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (46 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,056,458 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

*** BREAKING NEWS: I am delighted to announce that "O, The Oprah Magazine" named WHAT HAPPENED TO MY SISTER one of "Ten Titles To Pick Up Now" (September, 2012). ***

The single best career decision I ever made was chosing to leave something safe to try something risky. I look back now and smile at how blissfully unaware I was of all that is involved with getting something published but I am grateful I didn't have that as my goal.
All I wanted was to see if I could write a book I had in mind. My wish for everyone would be to experience the joy of completing something they feel so passionate about.
Being a writer is the hardest job I have ever had but it is also the best, most gratifying job I could hope for.
Visit my website (www.elizabethflock.com) and join me on Facebook: facebook.com/elizabeth.flock.author

Customer Reviews

Overall I think the book is a good, easy read. MWR  |  8 reviewers made a similar statement
Sorry, but I'm in the minority here. Sunny Dae  |  5 reviewers made a similar statement
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
41 of 46 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Dark, insightful and flooring November 3, 2003
Format:Paperback
But Inside I'm Screaming enthralled me from beginning to end. I literally dropped everything to read this from cover to cover.

News anchorman Isabel Murphy has a nervous breakdown in front of millions of viewers. She arrives at Three Breezes -- a.k.a. the "nut hut" -- with the hope to regain some normalcy in her life. When her past begins to unravel, she wonders if she's ever lived a normal life.

This novel reminds me of Girl, Interrupted. There are various similarities between the two books, but this novel touched me in a profound way. The characters are vivid, the dialogue is crisp and the story is as intense as it is insightful. Isabel's battle with depression floored me. Her realistic, unflinching honesty touched me. Book club members would devour this! I am buying a copy to all my friends. I urge you to give this wonderful literary offering a whirl.

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14 of 17 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars Nothing new, fresh, or even thought-provoking June 14, 2007
Format:Paperback
This book owes a large debt to Girl, Interrupted, a medium debt to The Bell Jar, and even a small debt to the Lifetime movies at which the main protagonist, Isabel, sneers.

None of the characters are more than two-dimensional, even Isabel. We're given flashes of her unhappy childhood with daddy issues, her unhappy adult relationships, her unhappy professional life...okay, we get she's depressed. But it all feels like a thin veneer to excuse the "shocking" (not) look inside mental institutions. The author would rather throw a few extra stereotypical patients in than explore any of the very real and very deep emotions and thought processes suicide attempters go through. Oh, here's a babykiller! Oh, here's a Daddy's Girl! But don't come any closer, they're CRAAAAAAZY. Sigh. The plot is so very thin that nearly every paragraph is a chapter break, apparently in order to stretch it from novella length to novel. So much space could have used so much more constructively!

At the very least, the author seems to attempt some sort of empathy in the end for the patients, and bring it back to how we're all snuggly humans who just need love, which I guess is better than openly mocking them and their supposedly-Lifetime-ready foibles...so the second star is for attitude. But I'm still not going to bother passing it around any book clubs.
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10 of 12 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars An insightful character study September 2, 2003
Format:Paperback
In NYC, Isabel Murphy is a rising anchorwoman at the American News Network (ANN). However, voices in her head keep telling her that her family feels she is worthless and her catastrophic marriage adds to her lack of confidence and emotional belief that her parents are right when they call her a disappointing failure.

Isabel has a chance to prove otherwise when she is the only newsperson at the station when the death of Diana Princess surfaces. She goes on the air to report the breaking news, but freezes and is unable to say a word as her brain just drums to the beat of failure. Knowing her broadcast career is over and how she has disappointed everyone, Isabel opts for suicide, but fails at that. She enters Three Breezes Psychiatric Facility where she finds the lunatic asylum worse than anything she ever imagined. She will only fly above the cuckoo's nest when she accepts that she can't please everyone so she should try to please herself.

This is an insightful character study that looks extremely close into the psyche of someone whose mental breakdown and depression places her over the edge. The bleak yet at times amusing well written story line focuses on Isabel whose collapse will stun the audience even while we follow her thoughts and actions. Isabel's disintegration with a frightening glimpse of the goings-on at the psychiatric facility is not for everyone, but readers will agree that Elizabeth Flock provides a powerhouse.

Harriet Klausner

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Most Recent Customer Reviews
2.0 out of 5 stars Clearly Flock has never been depressed
Vapid and candy-coated; above all, insulting to someone who struggles with mental disorders. That part where the therapist Larry tells Isabel that Lark 'never could have pulled... Read more
Published 4 days ago by Kay Lass
1.0 out of 5 stars I cannot in good faith for a fellow reader give it above a one
I have never in all my years of reading have ever given a book a one star review - this book was bad and got worse and worse - the main character "falls apart" and then goes to a... Read more
Published 2 months ago by Deborah S. Eden
5.0 out of 5 stars Worth reading
For anyone grappling with depression or having friends and family suffer, this is a brilliant book. Thoughtfully told and entertaining it is both tragic and hopeful. Read more
Published 5 months ago by Savannah
5.0 out of 5 stars An incredible journey and self realization...................
Where to start?...........this is really hard, as the book started from the middle then out. Which was the only way to do it! Read more
Published 7 months ago by Penny
5.0 out of 5 stars THE LONG AND WINDING ROAD TO RECOVERY!
This is the story of Isabel Murphy, a young and talented reporter who was filling in for the weekend anchor when an urgent story came in from Buchingham Palace confirming that... Read more
Published 15 months ago by Janet Babins
3.0 out of 5 stars But Inside I'm Screaming
So this could have been a very interesting book. It had all the right elements and a main character that could have been compelling. Read more
Published 18 months ago by M. Reynard
5.0 out of 5 stars Elizabeth Flock is one to read!
Meet Isabel: successful international broadcast journalist, loving wife, perfect daughter, suicidal human. Read more
Published 20 months ago by Regina Niesen
1.0 out of 5 stars Can I give it negative stars? It's that bad!
What a waste of my time reading this book for my book club. It is not well-written, and is boring to boot. Read more
Published on July 12, 2010 by Lanae
4.0 out of 5 stars How wealthy people go crazy and get better
I haven't read Girl, Interrupted, so I can't compare or contrast it to this book. The title is what caught my eye because I certainly have felt that way at one point or another in... Read more
Published on May 12, 2010 by Train of Four
5.0 out of 5 stars It was me without the " nut hut" !
This book hit home............ I have suffered from depression for years and have been under treatment for years and will be for the rest of my life. Read more
Published on April 22, 2010 by AN INTERNET SHOPPER
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