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But He Never Hit Me: The Devastating Cost of Non-Physical Abuse to Girls and Women Paperback – February 25, 2007


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But He Never Hit Me: The Devastating Cost of Non-Physical Abuse to Girls and Women + But I Love Him: Protecting Your Teen Daughter from Controlling, Abusive Dating Relationships + Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men
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Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Dr. Jill A. Murray is internationally regarded as theleading expert in the fields of teen dating abuse andunhealthy relationships. A highly visible guest in thetelevision, radio, and print mediums, she maintains aprivate psychotherapy practice in Southern Californiawhere she lives with her husband, Frank.
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 346 pages
  • Publisher: iUniverse, Inc. (February 25, 2007)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0595411398
  • ISBN-13: 978-0595411399
  • Product Dimensions: 6 x 0.9 x 9 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1.1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (16 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #129,826 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

4.5 out of 5 stars
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

23 of 23 people found the following review helpful By Silverwing on May 27, 2011
Format: Paperback
I believe the information in this book literally saved my life. I was miserable in my marriage, thinking everything was my fault. It wasn't until my (now) ex left me that I found this book. I began reading it and had such a visceral reaction, I couldn't get through the first chapter.

A few weeks later, I picked it up again and after forcing myself in fits and starts through the first two chapters, I finally had words for what I had been living for almost five years.

By reading and applying the things I learned from this book, I not only was able to get myself out of a slowly escalating abusive relationship, I was given a fire to do everything I can to prevent anyone in my life from submitting to this abuse . . . man or woman.

I recommend this book to anyone.
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10 of 11 people found the following review helpful By Debra Fox LCSW on June 27, 2009
Format: Paperback
This book if great for anyone in a relationship, it helps with boundaries and expectations that you should have for each other. Great section on Universal truths about relationships, major one being: love is a behavior. Check it out, very helpful resource and workbook
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9 of 10 people found the following review helpful By petitefitgirl on January 24, 2011
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Having been through a verbally/emotionally abussive relationship, this book was right on. To read stories from the author and other women was a real eye-opener, makes you think alot. Very informational on the right way to move forward in all situations. I highly recommend this book for anyone who is or was in an abusive relationship, or if you know a woman in an abusive relationship, this book will help you understand what she is going through and why. Wish every female that was a part of my life while I was going through this experience would read this book to better understand all aspects of that part of my life.
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6 of 6 people found the following review helpful By Tracy on June 27, 2013
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Because my field is rape, sexual assault and domestic violence I knew this book would contain much help information. What I was not expecting was how much of this book I could relate to personally. I highly recommend this book for EVERY woman who has ever even thought of that phrase. Wake up ladies, it applies to most of us!
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful By lisa esham on December 11, 2012
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I absolutly LOVE this book!!! I think it should be required reading in Jr. High. I think it would help both boys and girls!!
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9 of 12 people found the following review helpful By T. Obermiller on May 7, 2009
Format: Paperback
I recommended this book to my Domestic Violence Group at our meetings & even copied the index for the group & passed it out & they found it helpful & went out & got it, through Amazon.com, also. My counselor got it for her library, too. It has helped me, immensley.
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8 of 11 people found the following review helpful By AnnaBellazAK on September 29, 2011
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
After 12 years of marriage to a man consumed by substance abuse, power and control, verbal/non physical abuse this book really opened my eyes to the last 12years of my life. Even though I started reading it after I had left him it helped me stay focused through his manipulations that followed. I pick this book up and read it along with my journal writings that followed the chapters anytime I feel I've lost focus. Like is too short to live in misery that you yourself are allowing. Love is a behavior.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By Lynn on May 3, 2015
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
This book is excellent. It has great information on how to identify an abusive relationship, how to cope with it, and practical tips on how to get out. However, I wish that the author would update this book with a new edition giving information on electronic stalking. Stalking and electronic stalking are becoming more common so information about how to protect oneself would make this book even better. Please be careful when ordering this book if you are in an abusive relationship--getting a friend to get it for you might be a good idea. Also, the author recommends using a journal. The journalling process is very helpful. However, she does not include an important cautionary note and that is to be careful with this journal. Be sure to hide it -- and perhaps this book -- maybe even keep them at a friend or relative's house. And only write in your journal when he isn't around. I think this was a huge oversight on the part of the author. Other than that, its great.
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