Customer Reviews

The X and Y of Buy: Sell More and Market Better by Knowing How the Sexes Shop (NelsonFree)

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4 star:		(36)
3 star:		(19)
2 star:		(9)
1 star:		(4)

 

 

As a retail salesman of nine years from 17 till when I received my graduate degree, I am always fascinated to listen to new ideas on how to improve my sales approach. So, when The X and Y of Buy ("X&Y") showed up as a choice in my monthly Amazon book club, I was hoping for some new insight. Sadly, what I ended up doing was taking out my trusty red pen and correcting what I saw were obvious factual errors while noting them in my also-trusty paper notebook. I wrote five pages of correctional notes.

Before I get into the realm of negenation, let us go over the book's primary thesis.

Author Elizabeth Pace starts by stipulating that men and women shop differently because they are differently. OK, unless you've never been to any department store and realized the men's clothing section is all polos shirts and jeans while the women's is 10x larger and with specific clothing (and specialized decorative soaps to match) for every conceivable body part, tell me something I don't know. Seriously, you do not have to read Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus to see this concept play out in society. Unfortunately for Pace, she writes as if she just discovered this concept.

However, it is the next thesis claim that really is off base. Pace makes it clear that the differences between male and female shopping habbits are almost exclusively due to biological differences and nothing else. She completely sidesteps socialization or nurture as an influence of defining a person's gender. It goes to the nurture vs. nature argument that Pace doesn't even really reference and does not even spend time debating. Even in her Q&A section she references biology the entire time and not any other external factors. She failed to look at all aspects or, at least, give them a second thought or prove why they are not prevalent.

Pace also failed to consider all options in her research is also hindered by the fact that she did very little research to come to the conclusion she did. She does not even include a detailed bibliography, just a four-page notes section. Upon examining her notes, I discovered that pace did not truly do much academic research. Since Pace is not a brain surgeon or an academician, she has to do some academic referencing and not rely on her own knowledge. Sadly, her sources are anything but academic. There are a lot of secondary sources (mainly articles referencing other articles bringing up biology), self-help books, and a lot more websites. I think the most intellectual source Pace used was a PBS website article. There are NO academic journal articles, no encyclopedia articles, or even an interview with a specialist. Heck, chapter 7 ("Give Them Something to Talk About") doesn't even have any citations!

When I typed "male female brain differences journal" into a Google search engine (which almost seems to be the method Pace used), I had numerous results from the Journal of Psychiatric Studies, the Harvard Medical Review, and many others. Pace could have easily done this or even ventured to the public library and requested some medical journals to back up her case.

All in all, Pace has brought up stuff we, as an audience, already know, ignored a critical sociological element in raising genders, and used substandard sources to get us there. I'm under the suspicion Pace wrote this book for seminars and VERY casual reading for junior salesman. She could have done a WHOLE lot better.

Remember the old adage - women are emotional creatures? Can the same be true for men? Let's face it, compared to men, women are more empathetic and emotionally connected to other people. Examples of these gender differences are evident in everything we do, including how we shop. In The X and Y of Buy, author Elizabeth Pace argues that a sound sales strategy is founded on such principles of gender differences. Her aim in this book is to teach fellow professionals what motivates male and female customers to buy products, so they can use this knowledge to improve their profit margins. The author addresses her claims practically, using real life examples to scientifically analyze specific gender differences.

Of the ten chapters, I particularly enjoyed Chapter 8 - The Economics of Emotion. Pace takes the reader through several scenarios pointing out partially obvious gender differences. I use the term "partially" because while you will readily identify with your own gender's point of view, you will also learn something new from the viewpoint of the opposite sex.

Here are some of the subtitles Pace uses to point out gender differences in this chapter:

"He trusts his institutions; she trusts her connections"
Men tend to trust strangers in their clubs, companies or teams; women tend to trust strangers who share a personal connection such as a friend of a friend.

"Men are wired for action; Women are wired for connections"

Men will feel the need to discuss solutions and create a plan of action; women will need to discuss her feelings and evaluate perceptions before taking action.

"In stress he'll fight or fly; in stress, she'll trend and befriend"

Men tend to become physical or leave in stressful situations; women will find many ways to keep busy and talk through the stress.

So, are men emotional creatures? YES! The trick is to know the keys to triggering the right emotions and avoiding the wrong ones.

Although this book was written for marketing and sales people, I couldn't help but recognize how the information could be applied to relationships. There is a section in the book called "Sales Interrupted", where Pace states, "men view communication as a way to solve a problem, and interrupt only to introduce new information, change topics, or disagree - all forms of aggression. Women talk to form bonds and gain consensus; they interrupt to support, agree, or clarify - all forms of empathy. Women salespeople can improve face-to-face results by merely resisting the urge to interrupt to show support when listening to a man." Something to keep in the back of your mind at your next spousal debate!

While this book may not be for the seasoned marketer, it is definitely for the new marketer searching for a fresh take on marketing approaches. The book is divided into two sections. Part one, covers gender differences and marketing tactics. Part Two, contains plenty of examples of face-to-face selling strategies.

Pace's humorous writing style and use of visual aids, make for a very engaging and enjoyable read. My only disappointment with this book was the lack of sufficient academic research on gender differences that could have captured the attention of all marketing professionals.

The X and Y of Buy is a book about gender marketing. Author Elizabeth Pace uses the scientific differences between men and women to help sales associates and entrepreneurs learn the best practices for dealing with different genders. the premise is; if you can market properly to men and women, you will be able to increase sales and expand your business.

I really enjoyed this book. Pace gives us many tips and access to research to help us deal cross-gender. She tells us things like men are more driven and strait forward when it comes to sales. They do not want interruptions and need to get right to the point. Women, on the other hand, want more connection and community when it comes to business relationships. Women will deal with (or add to) the conversations and interruptions if it means a group can come to a consensus.

The only place I found this book lacking was in the "spiritual content" department. Thomas Nelson is a Christian publisher and prides itself on having a spiritual message. If they did not, I would not be picking at this point. It would have been nice to see a link between gender-specific sales practices and proper Christian ethics. Maybe a chapter on how men could treat women with respect during a sales meeting (trust me, I witnessed the degradation of women in many a sales meeting) or some way women can deal with the constant sexual marketing happening today.

Overall, it was a good book. I enjoyed reading sections aloud to my wife and more than once getting that "ah-ha!" moment as I found something that related both to business practices, and my personal relationships. I give this book 4 out of five stars.

-Don-

There is no denying that men and women react differently to different stimuli and The X and Y of Buy is ready to explain these differences and what they mean to your business. This book examines men and women beginning with the biological differences in brain structure and brain chemistry that create the different reactions, followed by the different attitudes that have developed over the years and have led to the gender differences in buying habits that we experience today.

This book offers some interesting insight into gender differences and some of what the book talks about is obvious. It shouldn't surprise anyone, for example, that women are more likely to react emotionally and more likely to cry than man and it shouldn't shock anyone to find out that men are more visually stimulated. But other gender differences are not as obvious, like the ability of women to have multiple, simultaneous conversations; the tendency of men to be better at geometry; the wider peripheral vision of women; etc. These differences are not so obvious and are not widely known, but studies confirm they are present and knowing about them could help tremendously when attempting to make a sale.

Like I stated above, this book starts off with a biological basis for gender differences and while some might find this part of the book very primitive and non- business in nature, it is good because it explains that it is precisely these biological factors that make men and women react differently and thus require different stimulation to improve sales. I didn't expect a section like this and I wasn't so sure I liked it when I started to read. But now that I have read the book to completion, I can more fully appreciate the value in this because it helps to confirm the books different assertions about male and female differences. It offers factual material about the different levels of hormones in men and women, the different structures of the brains, etc. These are not opinions, they are cold, hard facts and they are most definitely responsible for the way men and women react to different outside stimuli.

One of this book's many strong points is its inclusion of a summary table at the end of each chapter, recapping the differences between males and females. These tables serve as a quick reference point and, like the book itself, they include some items that are obvious and others that are more unusual. I also like the book's final two chapters, The X of Buy and The Y of Buy because they offer step by step, phase by phase strategies for closing a sale based on whether or not the person being sold to is male or female.

Men and women do react in different ways to different sights, sounds, scents, tastes, and textures, but does that mean these differences are absolute? No, it doesn't and the author freely admits that these differences between men and women, while true more often than not, are not true one- hundred percent of the time. Few things in life are that simple and human behavior certainly isn't one of them. It is nice that the author explains this in the book because some may read this book and think its conclusions are absolute. The majority of the time, what this book concludes will turn out to be true for men and women, but there will always be exceptions.

I don't work in marketing, but I still enjoyed reading The X and Y of Buy. It is a very good book about gender differences and why they are so important to the selling process. Men and women do, indeed, react differently to different things and knowing these differences can be the key to understanding men and women in your day to day life- not just for selling purposes, but for general social reasons as well.

Any person who works in sales can benefit from a book like The X and Y of Buy. In this book, Elizabeth Pace discusses the difference between men and women and their buying habits. If we can understand those differences, we can learn how to better our sales techniques depending on gender.

The X and Y of Buy is a very informative and interesting book. It not only discusses how to sell to men and women differently, it goes deeper and tells the reader why men and women are so different. My husband works in sales and I know that he will benefit greatly by reading this book. I found the scientific aspects of this book to be very interesting. I am always interested in the science behind things and Elizabeth Pace has included some interesting scientific facts.

This book has a very readable format that will make it easy to read when traveling or between sales meetings. There are several tables and charts illustrating important points. I highly recommend The X and Y of Buy to anyone who works in sales or is just interested in the differences in buying habits of men and women. It really is a good read.

The X and Y of Buy is part of a new program by Thomas Nelson called Nelsonfree. When you buy this book you can also download the free audio book and the free ebook.

The author gives scientific facts about how men and women are different, how they think different and act different. If you can learn to read them, then you can be a better salesperson. She gives quite humorous examples throughout the book that you will find quite entertaining as well as informative.

According to her women are multitaskers whereas men focus on one thing only. (I'm referring to the business at hand!) What are multitaskers, you ask? Here is my own example from what was going on around here today. My husband informed me that he was going to cut the 12 boards for our daughters window and door frames in her basement. That he didn't want to hear about other things that needed to be done in the meantime(he has to focus on only one thing at a time like author says). Okay...here is what I did while he was cutting those 12 boards (which he already had measurements on by the way). I used the weedeater for 4 hours, came back and said, "How's it going, hon?" (I didn't hear the saw going so thought he was done.) 4 boards done. Went and did a couple of loads of laundry, walked the pets 4 miles, dyed my hair, cooked supper, played scrabble on pogo in between times, picked my book orders, washed dishes. 8 hours are now past. "How's it going, hon?" I ask again. All done! And perfectly I might say. He's a real gem even though he can only focus on only one thing at a time!

If you are a salesperson, you must remember that women are nesters and want to talk about your family and their family and feel more comfortable if you are open with them. Men want you to focus on the subject at hand. There are other differences too. For instance, men will not look you in the eyes when they are talking to you. I always thought they were acting "shifty eyed" but the author says men just will not do this although women trust you more if you do. You learn to read body language from this book too. And if a woman says "maybe" she usually will end up saying "Yes" in the end (again I am referring to business matters), while a man will usually mean no when he says maybe. Since women buy more than men, it behooves you to learn to read them.

Also you can get this book online after you buy the hardback. You just go to Thomas Nelson website and answer a simple security question and you can download it on your ipod if you like. Or get it in ebook form.

It's a great book and you will learn a lot and laugh a lot too!

Elizabeth Pace's book, "The X and Y of Buy," is many things at once. It is an educational treatise on the physiological, genetic and psychological differences between the sexes. It's a "how to" on how to sell to each. And it's an instructional manual on how to create relationships with potential clients. The results make the book a somewhat mixed read.

The information imparted in the sections dealing with the biological differences is nothing short of amazing. If fleshed out further, the book could have stood on these differences alone as an interesting and revealing study. Learning why women cry and men seldom do, why women take longer to shop, why men don't like to talk... all based on the differences in brain activity and chemistry was eye-opening in the extreme. These parts of the book I devoured.

The sections where she writes about how to sell to each sex is informative, if not somewhat sexist in reverse. It's in these parts I feel the writer starts to make suppositions and blanket statements rather than state facts. In places, she makes men sound like ape-like idiots who react to shiny, moving objects and women emotional basketcases whose monthly cycles render them useless crybabies. While this may be true of some people, most of the men and women I sell to are far more intellectual than what she gives each sex it's due credit. I also feel that many of her judgment calls relate to an earlier era rather than today's enlightened market. If it were the 80s, the information would ring true, but in today's climate of open-mindedness, power women and metro-sexuals, I found it to be a little stale and dated.

And lastly, the sections at the end of the book are the worst appendages. I found the practice of finding friends of friends and trying to befriend them to be about the most transparent and worse piece of advice on selling I've ever heard. Throwing a party for a potential client? Not only is this something out of an episode of "I Dream of Jeannie", it's wholly impractical and rings completely false, both in practice and most likely in results. This might fly if you had a huge budget and a million dollar client, but not many of us out here in real world have that scenario. There are other equally laughable ideas which sour an otherwise good book.

The book still gets four out of five stars from me because the biological information is remarkable and outshines the rest of the book, making it a worthwhile read even if some parts need to be edited or lopped off entirely.

I ordered this book because the premise and "pitch" fascinated me. The author seemed to imply science behind purchase behaviors of men and women. What she delivered was far less substantial than what was promised in my humble opinion. She provides an acceptable analysis of the motivations and behaviors of men and women, but the transition to how to execute against the insights was either fundamentals of understanding your consumer (basic stuff for most marketers), or somewhat over-stereotyped.

At the end of the day, it started out as an interesting Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus type of ride (as other posters have mentioned), but ended with the "Gendercyle Selling" discussion, which I found marginally insightful. I find books such as "Why We Buy" by Paco Underhill more helpful as a fundamental text on shopper behavior. This book walked the line between pop psychology and oversimplified selling insights.

The X and Y of Buy: Sell More and Market Better by Knowing How the Sexes Shop (NelsonFree)

Title: The X and Y of Buy: Sell More and Market Better by Knowing How the Sexes Shop
Author: Elizabeth Pace
Publisher: Thomas Nelson, 2009
220 pages, including Q & A by author

X Is to Female as Y Is to Male

As I read this book, I was in full agreement with the author and thought she had nailed X perfectly, perhaps 45% of the time. As to Y, I could not judge. But the rest of the time, and especially in the last one-third, or more, of the book, Pace's broad, sweeping statements about women acted as a persistent itch that I could not quite reach. I found some of them even a bit insulting. For example, did you know that women--theoretically, all of us--are unable to look at a map without turning it so that the direction in which we are moving is "up"? I'm sorry, but my mind knows that, on a map, east is to the right, west is to the left; north and south are up and down, respectively. And then there is the question of parallel parking. I don't often have a need to do that, anymore, but I do it well. Very well. But maybe I really am a rare specimen. Or maybe my brain is both male- and female-differentiated.

I say that because the author does not insist that all women--or all men--think, shop and relate to sales and marketing people in exactly the same ways, all the time. From time to time, she acknowledges that exceptions do exist; some women, she allows, have "male-differentiated brains," just as some men have "female-differentiated brains" (having nothing to do with sexual identity).

But how valid are her claims? Initially, I was pleased to find that Pace had documented many of her statements, which tends to lend academic and/or scientific credibility to any published work. However, when I looked over the citations, I saw very few that appeared to be truly academic or scientific publications. So many, even most, had titles that gave me no real feel for how valid those resources might be.

But it gets worse: Chapter 7 includes not even one citation. Nada. Zip. Yet, in this chapter we learn that "women have at least two specific areas for speech and language on each side of their brains." Men, however, "do not have multiple areas for speech and language" which, if true, could go far to explain why so many women complain about their guy's lack of communication. But the author gave no citation. Is this information about male and female brains such common knowledge among sales and marketing professionals that no documentation is needed?

This book offers some interesting ideas and information which, if valid, could be helpful in sales and marketing, as well as in other relationships. I found the chart on p.33 interesting, as to how men and women approach and make decisions. And Pace's applications of the information in that chapter might be helpful (pp.34,35).

But I can't help thinking that sales and marketing folks, just like the rest of us, would do better to see the people with whom they are interacting as individuals, rather than as members of a sub-species. Gender, alone, does not account for all of the factors that influence the decisions we make, and I really chafe, when someone obviously tries to pigeon-hole me based on only one factor.

If you want to read this book, I suggest checking at the library or buying a used copy. It is, in my opinion, a lightweight, and the "GenderCycle" chapters at the back were downright boring.

The X and Y of Buy promises to use the latest scientific findings on gender to give salespeople and marketers a competitive edge, enabling them to communicate with their clients more effectively. Having previously studied gender effects in retail merchandising, I was quite eager to read the book.

"Disappointed" is the most polite word I can use to describe my feelings as I write this review.

According to Ms. Pace, the natures of "the vast majority" of men and women are not drastically different from the stereotypes presented in 1950s sit-coms, hard-wired hunters and gatherers, separate but equal. After writing "there are certainly exceptions to every rule" in her introduction, she then forgets to use words like "most" and "many" for the next 200 pages, presenting her opinions on gender as if they were established scientific facts.

They are not. (See Sexing the Brain for supporting evidence). As this book is predicated on these claims, it offers little of value to those who question or disagree with her views.

In fairness to the author, I am certain that her descriptions of men and women do correlate with her own life experience: her family, her clients, and her social circle as a successful businesswoman. However, science simply does not prove beyond a reasonable doubt that hormones and chromosomes produce the people she describes; the "nurture" of upper middle class WASP culture seems a more likely Maker.

Bottom line: this book contains some sound sales advice, but such advice can be found elsewhere. As a sales manager, I would forbid my novice salespeople to read this book, lest their well-intentioned sexism drive our customers away.