Customer Reviews

To Buy or Not to Buy: Why We Overshop and How to Stop

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Take one (former) shopaholic. Give her a Ph.D. in psychology and ten years experience treating over-shopping. Publish her book about how to get free of the vast consumer conspiracy surrounding us, and you have Dr. April Lane Benson and her vital new book: To Buy or Not to Buy.
This is not a comfortable book for me to read. I find my behavior unmasked and as undeniable as my shoulder-length gray hair. Have I used shopping to feel better about myself? Yes. Have I used shopping to avoid confronting a situation I want to avoid? Yes. Have I used shopping as a weapon to express anger? Yes.
Sometimes yes to all of the above, and other questions in chapter one. Like a trip to the dentist, confronting my negative behavior and the psychology behind it can be painful, but also healing. I love this book, because there is healing in getting the rot out. Dr. Benson offers a way to find authentic happiness to replace the false esteem of keeping up with (or exceeding) the 'Joneses'. She points out the relentless consumerism driving our economy, with tentacles invading our conciousness through stores, malls, television, catalogs, Internet and even cell phone shopping. She uncovers the true cost of credit card purchases, and documents the ways invisible forces demand that we buy "more more more and now now now".
Knowledge is power. Self-knowledge is the power to change. To Buy or Not to Buy is a tool that can enable us to get free of our compulsive shopping. If you are confident that you don't have any shopping addictions, I challenge you to go to browse inside her book - consider the many ways we can fool ourselves into buying things to fill an emotional hole rather than a material need.
I recognized some of my buying patterns in her analysis, and also patterns of friends and relatives. Our materialistic society is even more insidious than I suspected. There is compassion and not condemnation in Dr. Benson's words. I recommend her book and I will be spending the next three months working through all the exercises. I have two pages of notes this morning, a start to the journal she recommends keeping.
There is no such thing as an insignificant cavity - as we all know, sooner or later it will destroy the tooth. I am going to be working on the occasional - but not insignificant - ways that I over-shop, and expect that the result will be good, even if the process is sometimes painful.

I am enthusiastically endorsing this new book from Dr. April Benson, one of the pioneers in the research, study, and treatment of compulsive shopping and spending. There may be other books out there on this topic but Dr. Benson culls together stories, exercises, theory, and statistics in a way that is easy to read and use and which powerfully impacts our emotions to break through denial but also empower us with hope and commitment to change. In a time where compulsive shopping and spending has reached its pinnacle (or nadir), this book comes not a moment too soon! I can also say, as a colleague of Dr. Benson, that her commitment to helping others is unparalleled. Her voice is a clarion call through the din of insanity which offers a clear path toward wholeness and a healthy relationship to things, money, shopping and spending. Read this book now--for yourself or someone you love!

This book has been phenomenally helpful in allowing me to understand the "demons" that I have obviously been living with for so many years. I am now 66 years old and finally coming to terms with the underlying reasons for the behaviors that I have struggled with over and over again throughout my life. Thank you Dr. Benson!

Dr. Benson is a highly regarded expert clinician who has inspired many to change destructive behaviors through her careful translation of clinical practice and research acumen into demonstrable results. Living in a consumptive society poses many challenges and Dr. Benson's knowledge of not only why people are driven to overspend but how they can stop makes this book a critical purchase -setting one on a path of greater awareness and control. Invaluable!

Melanie Katzman, Ph.D.

Excellent book It is quite impressive in every way - especially its balance of helpful therapeutic programs, careful organization, and deep thinking.
Prof. Morris B. Holbrook, Columbia Business School

A great book that provides valuable steps for learning how to gain confidence and take control of your life and your debt. The program Dr. Benson provides is not an easy one, but if the reader puts in the work, they will definitely become more mindful of the underlying causes of their compulsive shopping as well as their shopping habits.

I have been coaching one of my clients, who is an "over-shopper" through this book for the past few months. We had cleared a lot of the clutter from her home in 2009, but we both knew that it would return if she did not gain control over her shopping. In January 2010 I introduced her to the book and the companion journals with the hope that she would work her way through it. Instead, she requested that I coach her through it and it has been a fantastic experience for both of us.

In the book, Benson encourages the shopper to enlist the support of a "Shopping Support Buddy", the requirements for which are outlined in great detail, but who is essentially an advocate for the individual working their way through the program. I am serving as my client's advocate and her accountability partner in her journey through the book.

Here are what I feel to be the highlights of the program:

In the first part of the book the reader explores what they are shopping for and why and documents their explorations in a companion journal. The journaling and exercises in these early chapters have proven very powerful for my client and she has a experienced a significant number of "ah-ha" moments.

In Chapter Two, Dr. Benson provides a wonderful acknowledgement to the reader for getting this far and then encourages the reader to explore whether or not this journey is really worth the effort. So many self help books assume you're "all in" right from the beginning. Dr. Benson wants to keep checking in with you. This is demonstrated again in the section "To Stop or Not to Stop", which explores ambivalence around stopping shopping.

Chapter Four introduces a very powerful tool called the "Daily Weigh-in", which builds upon daily tracking of expenses through the introduction of a "Necessity Score." The use of this score takes tracking one's expenses to a new level and does a lot to raise awareness on the part of the over-shopper.

In Chapter Five I appreciated Dr. Benson's focus on Self-Kindness, Self-Care and Self Respect, and the list of "Acts of Self Kindness" that the reader can use to replace shopping.

Finally, I appreciated this statement to readers from Chapter Seven, titled Mindful Shopping, "Your challenge is to stay emotionally centered and mindful - of what you plan to buy; of what you can comfortably afford to spend; of what you're responding to [when you shop]; and, above all, of who you are and what really matters to you." This nicely sums up what the program helps the reader to accomplish.

Though therapy is probably the most direct method for dealing with over-shopping, utilizing To Buy Or Not To Buy and the companion journals has the potential of helping a lot of people who might not be comfortable with the idea of trying therapy. If the over shopper is able to make significant progress on their own, or with the support of a coach, fantastic. If not, then hopefully they'll at least build enough awareness on their own, that they might try the therapy route.

Dr. Benson lays out a practical plan to help overshoppers overcome their addiction. Her knowledge and experience on the topic is applied beautifully to a thoughtful and realistic approach to help the many people who fight the urge to purchase everyday. This book will be extremely helpful for shoppers of all types to recognize their triggers and learn to identify the motivations behind their purchasing. I recommend this book highly and applaud Dr. Benson's insight and commitment to bringing understanding to this new American addiction. Giving this book to a friend might be just the gentle nudge they need!

I am really enjoying this book, but want to be honest- this is not a book you can sit down and read cover to cover in a day and expect to fix an over-shopping problem. This book suggests that you take it slow and answer all the questions in each section, which requires time and commitment. I am finding it worth it though. I feel the work I've done in the book so far has been very helpful.

I've just started reading the book. It has already been helpful. Buy the extra journals from the author, and use them.