This book is a collection of indispensable tools for the modern age that will revolutionize society, bring about world peace, help you lose weight, increase your sex drive, and change your life forever. Or, if nothing else, it will make a dandy coaster for your coffee table.
Carrot Top has traveled the country the last few years with his trunk of creative inventions, performing to thousands of fans each night at universities and performing arts theaters. He is host of his own show on The Cartoon Network and has appeared numerous times on The Tonight Show and other television shows. His first feature film, Chairman of the Board, will be released in 1997.
Opossum Pagé
Now country folk can fry up their roadkill in this special pan with dividing lines. Delicious!
Burnin' down the house
My apron with a smoke detector on it will make even the worst cook a chef extraordinaire! I decided to invent it after my first home went up in flarnes.
For here or to go?
Plate for bulimics...need I say more?
Fork lift
Finally, overweight people can lose weight doing their favorite thing -- eating. My new silverware with weights attached will turn you into a lean, mean, eating machine.
Level-headed
Ice tray with a level on it so you won't spill the water before putting it into the freezer.
Bombs away
And so is Aunt Myrtle's potato salad when it hits the trap door that's built into this plate.
Lock in freshness
Udderly
If you come from a big family and don't want to dring out of the carton after everyone else, try my milk carton with the very hygienic quad-spout -- everyone gets their own!
An-ti-ci-pa-tion
Don't waste time trying to put slow ketchup on fast food. My new ketchup bottle will slap it out for you.
Snooze, you
...fingers, that is. My alarm clock with a guillotine will stop you from sleeping those extra minutes.
Sleep like a baby
This pillow with built-in earmuffs will keep your dreams in and snoring out.
Things that go bump in the night
Bedroom slipper with a bumper on the front of your toe, so you don't slub it on the way to that last piece of chicken at night.
Vacuuming sucks!
No time to vacuum...never fear...Carrot Top is here! It's a device that puts those vacuum marks on the rug.
Tidy bowl toothbrush
Four out of five Democrats recommend it
...for Rush Limbaugh and other big mouths.
Get the wax out
It's a Q-Tip for Ross Perot. Now maybe he'll be able to hear the things he promises.
Buckle up!
Toilet seat for a Mexican restaurant, so you can really strap yourself in for a ride.
A promise to god
Toilet seat so you can pray while you are throwing up.
Rain drops keep fallin'
Not anymore, ladies, thanks to this new toilet seat that's wearing its own raincoat.
Best seat in the house
This beaded toilet seat is perfect for the family member who's in it for the long haul.
Aim to please
Shower mat for men so they have something to aim for when they are peeing in the shower.
Copyright © 1996 by Carrot Top, Inc.
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