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The Call Of Solitude: Alonetime In A World Of Attachment
 
 
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The Call Of Solitude: Alonetime In A World Of Attachment [Paperback]

Ester Schaler Buchholz (Author)
4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (3 customer reviews)

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Book Description

August 1, 1999
Achieving inner calm while feeling centered is a human goal that is never easy to master. But why of late do serenity and peace of mind seem further from reach than ever before? The world appears very busy, and finding moments to catch up with ourselves looks to be almost impossible. Something has occurred to change life's circumstances, to make peaceful, restorative time terribly elusive.

Alonetime is a great protector of the self and the human spirit. Many in society have railed against it. Some have overused its healing potential. Others have kept it as a special resource both knowingly and unknowingly. ... (Yet) the only way we shall achieve ... ideal love is if we are allowed to flower in the due course and pace of our inner life. Whether or not we were fortunate in our growing up to blossom this way, plenty of time -- alone-times -- awaits us now to make the necessary readjustments.


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Editorial Reviews

From Library Journal

A psychoanalyst, clinical psychologist, and professor, Buchholz has written a comprehensive study of human solitude or, as she calls it, "alonetime." She feels that today's culture overvalues attachment and neglects the importance of time alone. Using case studies, stories, poetry, and other sources, Buchholz shows how alonetime has always been important and that the lack of it in today's frenzied U.S. culture increases stress and depression. Unfortunately, in an effort to include all her interesting quotations and stories, Buchholz sometimes squeezes them into places where they don't belong. Although each chapter attempts to cover defined areas, the text wanders and sometimes repeats itself. Thus, while this important work brings together nearly everything ever thought or written about solitude, it is not as well organized or written as it could have been. Recommended for research libraries.?Elizabeth Caulfield Felt, Washington State Univ. Libs., Pullman, Wash.
Copyright 1997 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From Kirkus Reviews

A wide-ranging study of solitude, presenting it as a basic human need, one as necessary to psychic health and creativity as the social interactions emphasized by psychology's many ``attachment'' theorists. Buchholz, who directs New York University's Master's Program in the Psychology of Parenthood, wants to ``unshackle aloneness from its negative position as kith and kin to loneliness. Remove it from battles with bonding, attachment, and relationships. Make its message part of the social norm! Then uplift it from its lonely place on the mental health shelf.'' She succeeds admirably by examining the role of ``alonetime'' (a neologism she feels is needed, given the negative connotations many social scientists assign to ``solitude'') in everything from anthropological studies of other cultures to embryology, from pediatric medicine and child psychology to existentialist philosophy. Included are some fascinating observations on individuals who manage to survive, and even to thrive, during periods of extreme solitude, from the experiences of autistic children to those of hostages who have endured long periods of being blindfolded and isolated. She laments many of her patients' inability to grow inwardly by fostering their self-reflective and imaginative lives. Buchholz stumbles on occasion in romanticizing solitude, as in her claim that the autistic child possesses ``an exquisite ability to self-regulate,'' an unsupported claim at best. And while she properly warns of contemporary Americans' growing addiction to E-mail, computer culture in general, and other forms of external stimuli, she carries it to a neo-Luddite extreme in claiming that ``we are paying the price for the current frenetic demands in today's culture through being unwittingly led by technology into stupors.'' And the book could have used tightening. Her study, however, is on balance immensely interesting and informative, and accessible to the nonprofessional. Buchholz demonstrates irrefutably that ``without solitude existing as a safe place, a place for long sojourns and self- discovery, we lose an important sense of being self-regulating individuals.'' -- Copyright ©1997, Kirkus Associates, LP. All rights reserved. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Product Details

  • Paperback: 368 pages
  • Publisher: Simon & Schuster (August 1, 1999)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0684872803
  • ISBN-13: 978-0684872803
  • Product Dimensions: 9.2 x 6 x 0.9 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1.2 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (3 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,150,246 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Average Customer Review
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars A book needed more today than ever.........., August 31, 2009
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This review is from: The Call Of Solitude: Alonetime In A World Of Attachment (Paperback)
Love how the author reminds the reader that quiet time helps us learn who we are and allows us to recharge our mental and physical bodies. When one pauses and is honest about how many people live, with a cell phone glued to their ear, or text messaging hundreds of times per hour or day and how so many homes have a tv set in bedrooms and other rooms that are on all the time, is it any wonder people have lost their anchor? And as the author wisely notes all the busyness have made people jack of all trades but masters of none. Or jobs half well done.

She also writes of how many in the media have labeled quiet people as misfits or abnormal while others sing the praises of men and women like Jesus, Thoreau, Buddhist monks and cloistered nuns. Or how some people are literally afraid when its quiet. Like someone who has the tv on when home even if they are not watching the tv, because they have it on for the noise. Have had a friend who even admitted that they would like to live a quiet life, but when they tried living with no radio, tv, on it felt so foreign, until they realized that having quietness and solitude was their choice, instead of allowing society to tell them how to live.


The author does a wonderful job of sharing the history of solitude and how society was healthier and happier in the past when people discovered the pleasure of working alone and even taking a nap or spending time simply as corny as it sounds, smelling the roses. Like the great writers who didn't have computers but wrote their masterpieces that have survived centuries. Or the beautiful quilts one sees that were sewn in solitude and stillness. Or the makers of homemade cheeses, soaps, candles and other heirloom arts that some people these days still make.


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3 of 5 people found the following review helpful:
3.0 out of 5 stars Agreeable but dry, August 2, 2009
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This review is from: The Call Of Solitude: Alonetime In A World Of Attachment (Paperback)
I have always been introverted, and see nothing "wrong" with it. It was nice to read about others who feel the same. However, this was a little dry and boring.
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27 of 53 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars A gift from a true friend, June 22, 2000
By A Customer
This review is from: The Call Of Solitude: Alonetime In A World Of Attachment (Paperback)
This insiteful and feeling missive was given me by a wonderful lady who has been a friend to me over these past 30 odd years. She knows me better, I think, than either of the two wives who are now parts of my history. She presented it to me at one of our impromptu lunchs. This, soon after I had moved into my new dwelling, in the wake of a 21 year marrage. She long knew of my inner need for space, for solitude, for privacy. Dr. Buchholz has most wonderfully rolled all of these into one and given it a name and an identity. "Aloneness" is as sucsinct and possitive a dubbing as I would hope to find. Of course, the term itself is not of the essence. The true value is the use of the term to deliniate as clear and licid a distincion twixt it and 'aloneness', as she has. Although this is a concept stated very early in the volume, and presented as a clearification and basic premmis, I find that it is of great value in and of itself. I thank her for, in this preface, giving voice to a feeling which I could not do, to even my own satisfaction, here-for-to. That is, without feeling of alienation and perceptions of dissappoval and reproach from those I trusted with my thoughts. Most, that is, other than my lunch partner. I could go on, at lenght, about the rest of the offerings of this book, but I think it best that you read it and draw from it what you will. I hope, only, that it is as enriching an experience for you as I found it to be. I suppose that I must add, in the manner of recomendation, the comment that I have made a gift of this volume to several fine folks. Those I considered, if you will, my kindred in this relhm of 'Aloneness'. To a one, the thanks were the essence.
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Inside This Book (learn more)
First Sentence:
THE QUIET CONTAINMENT in the stretch of time before birth hardly prepares us for the dependant helplessness immediately after. Read the first page
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United States, New York, Anthony Storr, Walden Pond, Woody Allen, World War, Ernest Becker, Helen Keller, Middle Ages, Ted Kaczynski, Anthony Giddens, Charles Darwin, Clark Moustakas, Edvard Munch, Erich Fromm, Margaret Mahler, Saint Jerome, The Piano, Virginia Woolf
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