Customer Reviews

I Call You Friend: Four Women's Stories of Race, Faith, and Friendship

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Elvon Reed-Borst, one of the women telling her story in this book, wrote the following in a journal she kept as a young girl. It sums up what I feel this book conveys. She wrote, "Some people go down a worn path; I will go where there is no path and I will leave a trail." Echoes of Robert Frost. Elvon, Pamela Toussaint, Jo Kadlecek and Andrea Clark have chosen the "road less travelled on..." Without melodrama, overly subjective confession or sentimentalism, each women opens a dialogue with the reader regarding issues such as: racial reconciliation, growing up in Urban America, Suburban America, the South and the North and the community of faith. The book is so engaging because of the way it is set-up. It is split into three stages of their lives, called: Coming Up, Coming of Age and Coming Together. This structure allows the reader to view each woman's story as if viewing a play in which the stage is sectioned off in fours. Each voice is distinct and individual yet their stories overlap as we watch them meet each other in various ways. Not unlike the four gospel writers (if I may be so bold in such comparison)they describe the same events from their individual viewpoints and in the process we get to know them, Christianity and the racial issue in a more intimate and well-rounded manner. We see the issues raised through female dialogue and three-dimensional story . We also understand what Christ meant when he said, "I call you friend..." because the lives of these women, their mutual admiration, honesty, passion and faith reaffirms for anyone who has ears to hear that laying down one's life in whatever form that works out to be, is simply the natural state of what true Christianity is all about. This is a must read for anyone, no matter where you stand in regard to Christianity, but more so because it re-challenges us all on the issue of racial reconciliation. What are you and I doing about it in our friendships? This book is a map showing us to the trail which Elvon, Pam, Jo and Andrea have and continue to blaze for us to follow.

by Kristy Johnson

I call you friend challanged me to think more deeply about how we treat others. The stroies gave me insite into some of the subtilies of discrimination which hurt others.

The authors are to be congratulated for being so transparent--this is the hardest topic to be honest about and their honesty really opened my heart and my mind on the issue of race. Read this book and weep and gasp and be changed.

My initial understanding of this book is that the contributors desire to bring to light the problem of racism in the American Church. Each one of the ladies describes her struggle with race issues in her own life, how God and faith helped her to over come those struggles, and now they all wish to help other Christians overcome those similar struggles.

Though I believe the contributors are sincere with the presentation of their individual testimonies, I believe the book fails as a serious, biblical means to confront racism in the Christian Church.

First, I resent the notion, which was threaded throughout the book, that Christians, particularly white, middle class Christians, are denying the hidden sin of racism in their heart. I totally reject that. All true racists are not struggling with the hidden sin of racism; their racism is out there for all to see. This attitude is not characteristic of the majority of Bible believing Christians in the United States.
In reality, I believe Christians struggle with loving one another, but it is not caused by a hidden motive of racism. The reason men mistreat men is that they are sinners, (Rom. 1:29-32, Mark 7:20-23, etc.). People are self-centered. Even after salvation, a Christian may labor with this malady. We are selfish, and we desire to be with folks we are comfortable with, and I believe it is regardless of race. This is something that should be eliminated in a believer's life, not by confessing hidden sins of racism that do not really exist, but as a Christian walks in the Spirit, puts off the old man and puts on the new (Rom. 6, Col. 3).

Secondly, the book places any discrimination or separation between people in a "racist" category. In other words, any true discrimination between people is due to racism and it alone. That is too narrow an accusation. Though it is politically incorrect to point this out, there is more discrimination done to people apart from the issues of race. A good example of such discrimination is that experienced by the mentally and physically disabled. They experience discrimination way beyond what any racial minority has probably experienced. Of course they have wheel chair access to buildings and the ability to park next to the front door, however these people are for the most part shunned by the general populace. People are uncomfortable just being around them. Their arms are twisted by paralysis and it may even be that they cannot communicate at all verbally. Yes, "normal" people will sometimes acknowledge them by giving a condescending, "Hi, how are you?" But, it is usually a pleasantry given so as to be able to move on and not have to deal with an uncomfortable situation.

I also had a serious problem with the 23 ways to improve cross-racial relationships listed at the end of the book encouraging an ecumenical, racial unity. The 8th suggestion, for example, is to march in a Martin Luther King Jr. Day parade. Why would I want to do that? First, I am mixing my faith with an event that is primarily political. But secondly, I would never want to join in solidarity with people who are pretty much opposed to my world-view and what is best for mankind. My beliefs go against everything Jesse Jackson and other members of the NAACP who sponsor MLKJr Day believe. That is not a matter of me being a racist, but stems from my faith and convictions.

On a personal note, I personally knew one of the contributors to this book during my time in college. We attended Church together, as well as various Bible studies, and we shared many of the same friends. When my old friends and I read through the book, we were absolutely stunned by the subtle accusations that we were all secret racists who refused to admit it. Many of the illustration this contributor pulled from her time in college to demonstrate this accusation were either exaggerated, or contrived altogether. We were all extremely hurt by what we viewed as a betrayal of sorts on her part.

I want to respect these four gals and the effort they put forth to confront racism among Christians, but I believe their effort is both misplaced, and misguided. Instead of striving to create racial reconciliation, Christians need to return to creating redemptive reconciliation. That is the only way man is going to overcome his hatred and prejudice. He needs a new heart, not new advice on being a better person. If Christians have an attitude against another group, then they need to be shown from scripture why that is a sin and be rebuked for such attitudes. 1 John 3 comes to mind. Give them the word of God. That is the only authority they must submit to.
A much better book on tackling racism is Ken Ham's work "One Blood." He grounds his solution to racism in a more biblical context.