Customer Reviews

Callahan's Key

5 star:		(2)
4 star:		(10)
3 star:		(4)
2 star:		(6)
1 star:		(7)

 

 

Spider Robinson may be the most self-indulgent writer in contemporary scince fiction. His stories - particularly in the case of the later books in this series - are full of the kind of in-jokes and references to friends and colleagues that is more typical of amateur genre fiction. In this novel, for instance, on of the main characters is Pixel, the late Robert A. Heinlein's pet cat -- only with all of the supranormal powers of the literary feline it inspired! In past installments, Robinson has devoted page after page to describing the delights of books, records and personalities of whom he's fond. (My advice: take notes. He's got _good_ taste!)

It would all be extremely tiresome, except that Spider is also one of the most skilled and imaginative writers working today. His affection for his characters is contagious, and the unreconstructed hippie hopefulness that suffuses all of his work is so clearly sincere, so miraculously un-singed after decades of baking in this scorched-earth we inhabit, that one feels faintly embarrased to quibble.

All this is to say that Callahan's Key is much like the previous installments of the series, only more so. If you happen to find Robinson's cast of characters engaging enough to spend a evening sitting around, shooting the breeze, punning, and saving the Universe with, you'll ease into this like a pair of comfy slippers. If these folks aren't your type, I'm sure there's a nice episode of "Friends" running about now.

One caveat, emptors: By halfway through this book, you will most likely be absolutely determined to move to Key West. I say go for it, but be prepared to pay $300,000 for a run-down studio apartment. Perhaps the biggest disbelief one must suspend to get through this novel is that about a hundred people of varying -- mostly middle -- income could easily afford to transplant themselves to the fabulously expensive little resort in question. This is clearly far less plausible than the talking dog...

Don't get me wrong Spider Robinson is my favorite author but not even the warmth of Key West where this novel is set could warm me up to it.

This is a valuable lesson. Sometimes we must give up our fictional friends. Jake and his friends seem tired and need to rest. They have entertained us but now I feel like a guest at a party that has overstayed his welcome. Everbody is going through the motions but I just don't feel it.

One of the things I really didn't like is Jake and his crew's attitude of: "We are so clever Nod-Nod Wink-Wink." Everybody has some sort of power incuding his kid. It seems they are running into the same wall that Superman in the comics did. You make a character or a group of them so powerful you really have to strain to come up with a problem worthy of them.

In short this book seemed a bit to much by the numbers.

As much as I love the characters I hope this is the last I see of them. I will remember them fondly from prior books.

It's not a total stinker, but boy, does this thing drag on, and on, and on, and on... The move to Florida seems to take about 20 chapters or so, and Spider don't really bother much with plot for the most part. It's a meandering ramble of a book, and I don't prefer that to the format these have taken before. It's a whole lot of "Oh, isn't Florida COOL?" That is what really drags this book down, not to mention makes it rather dull. I still like the characters, but they need more purpose than to wait around until the 1990's. And as someone else put it, saving the world again is getting well, boring. Can't they do something else for a change? Hell, take them off-planet for all I care, just do something different.

I also really wasn't fond of the new omnipotent characters. This universe may be farfetched, but (a) the wishful thinking of bringing Nikola Tesla back from the dead, and (b) Erin, the genius toddler who's already handing out numbers for sex partners (EW ... I cannot BELIEVE he went there) and goes up in a shuttle went way beyond "credibility", if you know what I mean. I wouldn't mind if Erin met a horrible death. And I wish that Spider had made up his own genius inventor instead of resurrecting an old one so he could make him hip and cool as opposed to incredibly neurotic.

I gotta say that I wish I hadn't paid hardback price for this, but had borrowed a paperback in the library. Unless Spider takes a drastic turn from where he's meandered the characters to in this one, this series sadly needs to be put to bed. I just read Lady Slings The Booze and am feeling homesick for how things used to be.

...and so it goes. I bought this book because a "Callahan's" novel can give me a few hours of pure fun reading. I didn't expect Great Literature or even Great Science Fiction, and boy, did I not get them.

Let's not begrudge Robinson his success with these books. Many people enjoy them, and their purchases put money into his pocket and encourage him to write more of the same. If they become truly awful, enough people will stop buying them that they're no longer worth his effort, and he'll start writing something else. He hasn't hit that point yet.

So let's take it for granted that this book is 1) aimed primarily, perhaps even exclusively, at existing fans of the "Callahan's" series, and 2) a whale of a lot of fun if you are a member of the target audience. Now, let's pick at some of the things that went wrong...

First of all, this is more of a series episode than an actual story. The characters are already fully developed, none of them really change or learn anything. It's just "Callahan's Crew Takes a Road Trip". Sure, there's a feeble plot about Saving the Universe, but it fades into the background amidst the travelling adventures and fawning Key West travelogue. And let's face it, that plot device is getting old. I've honestly forgotten how many times the "Callahan's" characters have saved (pick one) the Human Race, the Earth, all of History, the Universe as We Know It, or the Entire Totality of All Creation. When the End of the World becomes banal, maybe it's time for something new?

Another thing that's become banal in the "Callahan's" series: super-powerful characters. Robinson has managed to write himself no less than three virtually omnipotent characters (Mike Callahan, Lady Sally, and Nikola Tesla). It's hard to bring any amount of tension to saving the world when you've got multiple people who can do pretty much _anything_. So in this book, he wisely places two of his heavyweights off-stage for valid plot reasons... and then introduces yet _another_ unreasonably powerful character in Jake's baby daughter. I found the character of Erin to be even more implausible than Tesla, and utterly annoying. It's possible to do a good job of writing a character who's much more intelligent and powerful than the humans around them. See Wylie's _Gladiator_, Weinbaum's _The New Adam_, Stapledon's _Odd John_, and even some of the better Superman comics. Robinson falls far short of this in his portrayal of Erin.

And speaking of badly portrayed characters: what's with Pixel? Unless I missed something, the cat serves no purpose to the story whatsoever. I like cats and I like Heinlein, but really, Robinson should know better than to throw in something that doesn't pass the "So What?" test. Well, no, I take that back. Robinson _always_ throws in stuff that fails the "So What?" test. But it's _interesting_ irrelevant material. Pixel is, well, just this cat who wanders in. From one of Robert Heinlein's worst books, even.

So Callahan's crew moves to Florida, falls in love with Key West, and oh yeah, saves the world. Again. People who like this sort of thing will find this to be the sort of thing that they like. Otherwise, just go find the latest Discworld novel. At least Pratchett's characters haven't gotten stale.

I've been reading Spider since my first-edition copy of Antinomy 20 years ago (which I still have). This book was, in a word: lame. Too much reliance on mind altering drugs and old formulas. The plot (if you want to call it one) is too formulaic. It takes Spider almost half the book to get them from New York to Key West, another quarter of the book to establish the new bar, and the last quarter to save the world. Where are the puns and character development that made the Callahan's Bar stories so much fun to read? Sorry, Spider. Even Ralph would call this one a dog.

And really, I only managed that because I was listening to it on tape in the car. Boy was this excruciating. And I say that as a fan of the earlier Callahan stories. Sure, they are a bit dated, but they generally hold up. I would never have borrowed this from the library if I had not liked Robinson's earlier work.

There is exactly one episode of drama in the entire book, and it happens in a span of about 1 page. Without giving it away, let's just say that a character is in apparent danger. The tension mounts for, oh, all of a few paragraphs before Robinson reminds us that all of his characters are invulnerable. Then the episode is over. That's it. There is never again a moment with even the most remote amount of tension in the remaining many, many pages.

Safe from any drama-induced high blood pressure, here are some observations on the dubious treats in store for a reader in the rest of the book:

1) We get it. People need to go to the bathroom when they get up in the morning. This story of the Callahan "gang" moving to Key West reminds us of this human frailty on multiple occasions. Thanks, Spi. I don't know where I would turn for verisimilitude without those extended musings on Jake looking for the potty in the morning.

2) We get the world's Second Most Lazily Written Fictional Character (as well as one of its most annoying). Erin, the super genius, invulnerable toddler with the "I'm so hip I have trouble seeing over my own pelvis" precocious sexuality. As many reviewers have pointed out, if it is wrong to wish for the grisly, painful death of this particular character, I don't want to be right.

But wait, there's more...

3) We get the Single Most Lazily Written Character in the history of fiction, a man called simply "The Lucky Duck", around whom lucky things just "happen". Having trouble thinking of a way out of a plot twist? No problem! Enter the Lucky Duck. No exposition, no science, no THINKING involved. The Duck's here. Things with work out fine. No effort as a writer required.

4) This doesn't even touch on the Honorable Mention Lazy Character of modernized, time-traveling, reality bending Nicolai Tesla.

5) While neither confirming nor denying any personal youthful indiscretion, this reviewer willing to stipulate, for the purpose of this review only, that getting stoned can be fun. Possibly really fun. That said, _reading_ about fictional characters getting repeatedly stoned is boring. Really, really boring. One wonders about the chronic use of the hallucinogen in question and its effect on an author's creative process. Oh yes, one does indeed wonder.

6) Finally (although, much like this book, I could go on and on) I just have to say it: for goodness sake, it is JUST IRISH COFFEE! Get over it, Spider.

In summary, the book is self-indulgent, full of inside jokes, lazily written and incredibly boring. I finished just so that I could state with authority to anyone who is struggling and trying to decide whether to finish:

It does NOT get any better. Please, don't let my sacrificed hours be in vain. If you have picked this up, put it down. Better yet, don't start. If you spend the several hours you save by not reading it merely staring at your navel, you will have spent your time more wisely.

Better to stare at your own navel than Spider Robinson's

Let's face it: wish-fulfillment fantasy is a conceit with decidedly limited appeal. So, while I can't deny that I derived a certain guilty pleasure from most of the previous Callahan books, by this point they have most definitely outlived their welcome. Stop it, Spider. NOW.

It's wearing thin; really thin. The problems of the previous books feel accentuated, if only because the charm is wearing off. Here's one thing that I kinda noticed before, but which really comes into its own here: these characters are really incredibly elitist. All of them have EXACTLY THE SAME TASTE in absolutely EVERYTHING, and those poor misguided souls who think differently are forever doomed to serve as nothing more than irritating stumbling blocks in the path of Jake and company, to be treated with general scorn and clambered over on their way to their glorious destiny. There is no conflict whatsoever between any of them (beyond carefully scripted and self-contained 'incidents' with no real bearing on anything), and it quickly becomes kind of offensive. They are right; everyone who disagrees with them is wrong. About any and everything. Period.

You'll have noticed, if you've read the series, that every single book has at least one example of the following construction: iconoclastic lost soul stumbles into proximity of the group; expresses amazement that such a thing could be; fits in perfectly; joins the gang. Here, we have the disillusioned cop. He joins the party, and then has no relevance whatsoever to anything else in the novel. This device is what the series was founded on (if you'll remember the original short story), and Robinson is seemingly incapable of giving it up, even when there's clearly no reason to include it.

And that, ultimately, is the problem: the whole series is basically a one-joke premise. And, while Robinson has done a valiant job at sustaining it for as long as he possibly can, even he can't make it go on ad infinitum. Its time, clearly, has come. Spider: end this farce now, while you still have some small measure of dignity left. Please.

Wait, I take that back: write one more book, for the sole purpose of killing off the kid. Could there even exist the POSSIBILITY of a more grating, obnoxious concept than the preternaturally intelligent child? No. Congrats, Spider: you've officially created the single worst character anywhere, ever.

It's just too bad... so sad to see the talents of a fine writer decline and fade. One or two Callahans books back I began to have an uneasy feeling that I was watching a dizney movie for adults, now I'm sure. The gushing about Disneyworld in this one is enough to make you gag, I've been there three times, each a decade apart and outside of new formica nuthin' changes... even EPCOT is still based on 60's technology. Why didn't Spider see that?? Pitching a deal maybe?

Nevermind that Jake is becoming the yuppie that he professes to hate, throwing money at every problem... nevermind that in all the books they never got out of the late seventies 'til this one and this one cruises through decades in mere pages after once again saving the world, [as James T. Kirk once might have said, "why is it always us??"], in the last chapters... Nevermind all that.. What grates me are two things... One, yet another hype of the keys which really DON'T need anymore people thank you Spider, and Two, that in the entire thing he and gang slide through a world devoid of anyone between the ages of Jakes' Infant Savant daughter and middle life. Not so much as a gas station kid, a resturant waitress, or a child of the horde in those uncomfortable ages.. As I said above, no gifts from me on this one, I hope it's the last.. we all have to grow up sometime, maybe Spider will find another story to tell, finally. He's capable of MUCH better than this.

I have loved Callahan books.
I have loved almost everything by Spider Robinson before this book.
I had great expectations before I started to read this one. Sadly I had to be very disappointed. It seems Spider had material for a short story, and got a contract for a novel. Never have I encountered such amount of padding in any book before. There literary pages and pages of pure, unadulterated padding. There are paragraphs full of names, which are repeated a few pages later. There are sidetracks in the story which lead nowhere, and have no relation with the main plot of the story, and have practically no entertainment value at all.
This might have been a fine short story, but this is a horrible novel.

Fans of Mike Callahan and Jake Stonebender and the rest of the crew will no doubt devour this latest installment, however new readers will be lost because of all of the in-jokes and references to past stories. All the more reason to buy ALL of the previous installments!

Callahan's Key, while bringing back all of our dear and lovable friends, left this reader wanting more. While everpresent, much of the crew from Callahan's Place and Mary's Place had only cameos in this story. Quite understandable, since the cast grows with every new installment, but it made me yearn for more of the short, poignant stories that originally captured our attention and pulled on our heartstrings.

This is not to say that this book is lacking in any respect. Spider Robinson is a genius and his works never never fail to entertain. You can't go wrong with this or any other of his stories.