(Please note that the spacing and boldfaced and italicized contributions of PunOETRY are restricted to normal type here, and spacing is not as published.)
Crustaceans (Copyright 2003 by Chucklebooks Publishing, Inc.)
Crustaceans are an interesting breed; Some people think theyre swell fish.
But dont believe in everything you read I find them rather shellfish. (selfish) ----------------------------------------
Duck! (Copyright 2003 by Chucklebooks Publishing, Inc.)
Theyve been quacking so much about Mabels big flight How she soared like a jet in the stadiums light,
How she heard all the cheers as she tilted her wings And then twisted and curved out those spirally things.
She would weave in and out as she spun all her spins, Neatly outing her outs and then inning her ins.
She was painting the sky with her brush widely spread, Till that baseball flew into the side of her head.
Quickly plummeting down, Mabels fate appeared sealed, And they all feared the worst as she lay in right field.
But Im pleased to report that I did make it through, And despite all the talk I have this to tell you:
Theyve been quacking and honking all day about me, But the day wasnt all it was quacked up to be. (cracked)
---------------------------------------- A Clothes-minded Vacuum (Closed-minded) (Copyright 2003 by Chucklebooks Publishing, Inc.)
My mom has chores that she assigns. I do them perfectly. But I have found that vacuuming is not a chore for me.
I used to do it all the time, until that fateful day The vacuum cleaner acted in a most unfriendly way.
For, as I ran the vacuum, cleaning all the dust and dirt, The hose I held escaped me and it turned and got my shirt.
The vacuum sucked the shirt down then it took my new watch, too. And, next, it seemed quite focused on the thought of my left shoe.
Before I had the chance to run, my precious shoe was gone. And then the vacuum snuck up on the shoe I still had on.
To save my things from leaving me, I had to jump and dance. But, soon, the hose it tricked me and it pulled away my pants.
Now stranded in my underwear, I started fighting back I couldnt be left naked from this horrible attack.
I wrestled firmly with the hose and got it to the ground. I clenched my teeth and grunted as I got it turned around.
What happened next was definitely something very weird: The vacuum swallowed up itself and simply disappeared.