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Calling in "The One": 7 Weeks to Attract the Love of Your Life Paperback – February 10, 2004

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Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Psychotherapist Thomas's warm-hearted "course" for the lovelorn focuses on internal change rather than a quest for "the One," because, she says, "There is a huge chasm between wanting to find your ideal partner and being truly available... when he or she appears." Each of the seven weeks centers on a theme, including preparing to let love into one's life, letting go of childhood wounds and loving oneself. Thomas reinforces her lessons with standard self-help techniques, particularly meditation and journaling. Her feel-good-about-yourself message gets much of its thrust from a Christian perspective, though a healthy dose of Buddhism and Eastern religious traditions spices things up. Atheists should be able to navigate the course as effectively as believers, she says, though her many references to God's role in realizing one's romantic goals may disprove this. But Julia Cameron's The Artist's Way (to which this bears a resemblance in format) helped countless struggling artists, and this volume may do the same for the lonely. Certainly meditation, discipline and self-acceptance are noble pursuits whether or not "the One" comes knocking, and Thomas's belief that love will find you once you find love is so unswerving that it's almost impossible not to be convinced.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.


"A wonderful book for all those seeking to bring a deep and magical love into their lives." -- Marianne Williamson

"For those prepared to call a great love into their lives, this wise guide's 'The One' to read." -- Debbie Ford

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Product Details

  • Paperback: 352 pages
  • Publisher: Harmony (February 10, 2004)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1400049296
  • ISBN-13: 978-1400049295
  • Product Dimensions: 7.3 x 0.7 x 9.2 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 14.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (390 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #8,645 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Katherine Woodward Thomas is author of the national bestseller, Calling in "The One," a licensed marriage & family therapist, and author of the new book, Conscious Uncoupling: 5 Steps to Living Happily Even After. She is an inspirational speaker and an internationally recognized relationship expert who has had the privilege of working with over 200,000 people in her virtual and in-person learning communities and has trained and certified hundreds of people as coaches of her highly transformative work. To find out more please go to, or

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

312 of 321 people found the following review helpful By Mystique69 on September 15, 2010
Format: Paperback
I personally think this book should be required reading for everyone before they start into relationships. I started this book after I found out my fiancé of several years was cheating on me with a married co-worker. I kicked him out promptly, a few months before we were to get married. And though thoroughly devastated, I had a need to figure out why I kept choosing the same types of loser guys. I was tired of being "broken".

I think the readers that are complaining about the author "settling" have totally missed the point of the book. I am not a "journaler" or a scrapbook person, so I didn't do the exercises. I did however, spend a lot of time thinking about her questions and mentally exploring examples she gave. There were a couple of things I did do - make a list of traits I was looking for in a mate was one of them. This book is valuable in that it makes you think about your choices. She gave a lot of good examples from her own life, of things I've personally done. It was helpful to get an outside perspective, without being put down, and to realize that others have done really stupid things too. It helped me come to terms with a lot of whys -- why things failed, why a certain person was not the "one", etc. and why I have perpetually been seeking the same type of guy.

I am happy to say I found "the one", in not quite 7 weeks, but close. He is nothing like I've ever dated before, he met every criteria on my list and so much more. We are engaged to be married in December. I never knew a relationship could be so good. This book helped immensely in that I was able to move past my previous relationship, turn away guys that were not right for me without guilt, and find a man that treats me the way I always wanted to be treated.
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355 of 377 people found the following review helpful By level42fan on May 3, 2007
Format: Paperback
Last year, I wrote a very harsh review of Katherine Woodward Thomas's book, "Calling In The One" because I was down on relationships and the whole idea of soulmates at the time. But I later realized I was wrong to condemn Ms. Thomas and give her book a poor review. Life has taught me a few things since I read it the first time, and I can admit a mistake.

What changed my mind was that I observed this book change people's lives after reading it. Although I felt it didn't work for me (mainly because I'm one of those picky, independent, commitment-phobic type A girls), I did see its possible value for single male and female friends of mine, so I recommended the book to them. After reading it, these people changed before my eyes and became softer, more available to relationships, and more open to possibilities. Many got rid of their "lists" and stopped condemning men (and women). Two of these friends are now in committed relationships. My buddies used the techniques in Thomas's book to introspect and renovate their lives to a new possibility of love. The results speak for themselves. I therefore must amend my earlier somewhat cruel review of this work. Simply put, her techniques and suggestions work - kind of like eHarmony - granted the reader is really serious about finding and keeping genuine love. This book demands no less.

Although the wonderful chapters and intriguing case stories did not work for me personally, I can see the value in "Calling In The One", and I highly recommend this book to any single who is serious about finally escaping the drudgery and endless wheel of fruitless dating, and focusing on and finding the one who concludes all searches.
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154 of 162 people found the following review helpful By Daniel Johnson on April 26, 2009
Format: Paperback
The process outlined in this book actually works! Two weeks after completing the seven-week series of exercises outlined in this book, I met the love of my life and was married 11 months later. The daily exercises are ideal for shifting your energy so that you are a vibrational match (and magnet) for the partner you are looking for. Beautifully written and articulate in its message, "Calling In The One" outlines a grounded, logical, insightful, and magical process that really works.
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56 of 58 people found the following review helpful By mariposa on February 24, 2011
Format: Paperback
this book "works." I met and married my (2nd) husband after re-reading and re-reading and re-reading this book. Each time you read it, more of it or different parts will speak to you. It didn't "work" when I first bought the book, because I simply wasn't ready. But when I was ready, so was the Universe!
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90 of 102 people found the following review helpful By harmony on November 21, 2007
Format: Paperback
this book is fantastic. i bought it at the suggestion of the bodhi tree bookstore sale person who said it was the most popular relationship book in the store. orignially i bought it for a friend who had asked me to recommend a book about relationships. but as i paged through it at home i realize i wanted to buy it for myself, too. i am single and i do want to meet 'the one'- but i am not at the place where i'd buy a book about finding him. but this book is not really about finding the one as it is about becoming that which you seek to find. if you are looking for love you need to be love- and you need to love yourself fully and completely. if you are looking for security you need to find security in yourself first rather than look for someone who can make you feel secure. if you are looking for trust you need to trust yourself first before you can trust anyone else. it's all very basic psychological stuff- but even the most psychologically savy can learn a thing or two from this book. especially when it's your blind spots that are causing you to not be open to love. even freud couldn't see his own blind spots.

this book does take a commitment though. the 1 star reviewer who said it was too demanding and too psychologically hard to bear was right in a sense. but the point of the book is to show you that the reason you haven't met mister or miss right isn't because you just don't have any luck- it's because there are blocks in your psyche that are deep issues that need to be dealt with in order for you to be fully open to love. that is not easy work. in our fast-food/short-cut culture where people are learning speed reading so they can get through a book in 10 minutes- this book could feel like getting stuck behind grandpa driving in the fast lane.
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