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Some good points if you are not that open-minded to begin with
on December 15, 2013
In short, the author says that to attract love you need to a) be flexible about who you think is dateable/loveable (meaning color, ethnicity, age, whatever) and b) literally make room in your life and your home to let love or a loved one in. And up to here, I agree with her. In fact, I don't really think you need to read a book about it, but it seems a lot of people loved it. I read it (well, speedread it) because a friend of mine loved it and felt that it was instrumental in helping her find the love of her life which she seems to have done. So that is a testimonial right there. And like anything else, if you're doing something to please somebody else, such as my reading this book, you're probably not going to get as much out of it as somebody more motivated. So that's my disclaimer. And I'm pretty content single, and I don't want to share my closet space, so I really just read the book to see what she said. And what she said is pretty much theme and variations on the above. The author describes herself as a "curvy Jewish woman" who, after many trials and tribulations with the usual losers we all date, finally found the love of her life in a guy who had been right in front of her for years. Why didn't she notice him before? He's black. So, when I got to that part of the book, I kind of laughed and kind of felt annoyed. I laughed because if you're a curvy white woman, finding a nice black guy to date probably won't be the biggest challenge you will ever face in this life. And I kind of felt annoyed because I felt that the author's premise, i.e. that we're all pretty rigid in terms of who we date, was off. I mean yes I think we all went through that when we were like, say, 20, but hopefully as the years go by we've gotten a little more flexible in our thinking, not just in terms of dating but in terms of who we hang out with and where we shop and what we like to eat. Sure, when I was 20, I wanted a nice white boy who was at least 3 inches taller than I etc. etc. etc. Over time, that has changed, not just out of necessity (where are all the tall straight white boys?) but because I look on dating as a kind of reality show adventure. Every relationship is a new land to explore. And I've learned a lot and it's been fun and also painful. But it's also true you get to a point in your life where you just want to go home and it's up to you to figure out what "home" looks like in terms of a relationship. And I don't mean "home" as in emotional comfort food which you'd get by dating the boy next door, I mean "home" as in that guy who is like your favorite pair of flannel pj's but sexy. Color, age, ethnicity, it all fades compared to, "How does this person make me feel?" So, whatever, I thought the book was a waste of time but that's just me. You might love it. I will say this, that since the author found love by expanding her dating horizons, and since that is a fundamental premise of the book, I thought it was lame that the cover shows two thin young white people dancing cheek to cheek. Have the courage of your convictions and show two real people who have found each other with this method, not two J. Crew models. I'd love to see a pic of the author and her husband on the cover.