Customer Reviews

Calming the Tempest :Helping the Explosive Child

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I have a 13 year old son who is very easily frustrated. He has several diagnoses, including ADHD, and takes some medication but these haven't taught him how to problem solve and avoid melt-downs. We knew he wasn't a mean kid. We knew he didn't like it when he got angry. We knew he wanted life to be easier for him, his family and all the others who wanted to be with him. He just didn't know what to do when he got "stuck" in that "rigid, shut-down mode" when things didn't go his way.

We read "The Explosive Child" and finally felt affirmed! We had been swinging back and forth with our parenting styles. We knew our son was different than our other children. In our hearts, we knew that consequences and strict rules weren't working, but felt pressure to "let him know who was boss" and not "be easy" with him. All of our behavior plans, reward charts, clear consequences, warnings, incentives, taking away screen time, not giving allowance, etc, etc did not help him stay calm and do things different the next time. He felt terrible about himself because he kept getting into the same frustrating rages and then disappointing his family. We knew we had to parent him differently, but felt guilty about it. "The Explosive Child" book helped validate what we felt we knew, but lacked the confidence to stick with.

Viewing "Calming the Tempest" was the next step, a significant one. The doctors explain the steps in "Collaborative Problem Solving" very clearly and expressively (not dull or boring). They also provide specific examples with a real family! The stories the parents told, and the words they said, could have been ours!! I was tearful watching the video because finally I did not feel alone in the struggle to cope with a child who is not flexible and is easily frustrated. The teenage son in the video was just like our son - smart, sweet, funny and NOT spoiled or willfully defiant.

I cannot recommend this dvd highly enough. I plan to get a copy to share with my son's school and with his therapist. It is only 35 minutes long and presents the problem solving challenges of explosive kids, and the proven techniques to help, in a manner that can reach any audience. If you see it, please write another review. I am confident that your review will be positive.

While I agree the book on the Explosive Child is excellent, I do not believe this DVD was very helpful. This is something that would appear on a 30 min. infomercial. The jacket of this DVD states "In reality, many children who have difficulty managing their anger need to be taught the skills necessary for coping with frustration and situations that demand flexibility." The jacket also states, "this DVD provides parents, teachers, and caretakers with an awareness and overview of how to teach these skills at home and at school." We bought the books and the DVD so obviously we are well aware of the problem. Most of the DVD is a family sharing their journey with their 16-year-old son. Fine, but we were looking for "how-to" help in calming a child. This DVD was not helpful in that area and it was an expensive DVD. At the end of the film, we are told a number to call if we want more information or help. We don't live anywhere near that area which is why we bought the film. Sorry to say, they could have done a much better job on this DVD.

If you can't read the book, or, if you have the book and want a visual explanation, this is a good 35 minute explanation of Collaborative Problem Solving. CPSing is a very useful tool for kids who are chronically inflexible, explosive and cannot emotionally handle limit setting. I also recommend CPSing for ANY teen.

This video is shorter between the two videos Dr. Greene wrote. It explains a lot about dealing with kids who are difficult for parents. I would recommend this video since the length of the video is short and it gets to the point.

I sent this to my daughter who is struggling with an explosive child, in hopes that once her husband saw on video what he would never read in a book, he might be persuaded that conventional discipline does not work. Instead , HE exploded and stormed out of the house, hollering that no kid of his was "defective" etc. So it is likely that this family will not be getting any help for this tormented and tormenting child. Very sad for me.