Customer Reviews

I Can Mend Your Broken Heart

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OK the wallowing in misery, self-pity, and denial is SO over. How I loved this book! I have been struggling mightily in a heartbreaking relationship with a really cold man - thinking he was something else, and thinking there were real feelings and a soul in there if I could only peel that onion back one more layer. It just got worse and worse until I hated myself as much or more as I hated him. Obsession, compulsive behavior, self-torture - what a waste of time and life! And who wants to win the "I hate you more" contest anyway? Hate is the worst! Over the years I think I've read every single "breakup recovery" books, some more helpful than others - but most of them have the same advice. "Rally your girlfriends, stay busy, excercise more, know it will eventually get better!" Yeah, whatever. The advice helps, but it really just distracts you from the pain, rather than helping you truly heal and throw out the pain for good. What's cool about this book is how it provides tools and excercises (I know, but these are really good tools and exercises.) you can use immediately, anywhere / anytime to change the way you feel and see your situation through visualization and self-hypnosis. It also had very keen insight into human behavior - both yours and others. If you're ready to pick yourself up and really move on, this is the one I would recommend. Good luck!

I got this book from the library for my daughter. It did wonders for her after her boyfriend of 3 years broke up with her without warning. She had lost weight, was going to a counselor, her grades suffered, and she couldn't stop crying. This book helped her more than anything else. She's a very visual person and the book gave her visual exercises to do; and also practical things to do like changing your habits or changing the furniture around. She showed it to the counselor she was going to at college and the counselor liked it so much, she bought it to keep for other students to look at. I had to bring the book back to the library, but my daughter wanted to have a copy of her own, so here I am at Amazon getting her her own copy. This is a great book for anyone going through heartbreak or for anyone who wants to help someone in that situation.

Although this book contains some helpful information, I wouldn't go so far as to say that it lived up to the author's claims of being able to "stop the pain of a broken heart in its tracks and bring about lasting improvements..." in my life, anyway. But then, maybe my situation is a bit different from those which Drs. McKenna and Willbourn reported.

That's not to say, however, that it won't work for others. Obviously, all our situations are different; consequently others will be affected or respond to this information much differently. But then, while I want the pain to stop, I'm not willing to stop loving my ex, which is where the good doctors' techniques ultimately lead the reader. Granted, falling out of love is the ultimate goal for many who wish to get over their exes. But at the same time, for many others - such as myself - it is not.

I also found their advice on eliminating jealousy and obsession by utilizing a technique to `white it out' not only rather simplistic, but unrealistic. For some - both men and women - being able to let go of either obsession or jealousy is hardly as easy as pretending that it can be erased. Just like love, jealousy and obsession are two very powerful emotions that take time to work through. This, I would posit, is where the utilization of Neuro-linguistic Programming (NLP), hypnosis, retraining and reframing are, in my humble opinion, more likely to work; along with a good dose of cognitive behavior therapy.

The reference to New Orleans Gestalt therapist, Anne Teachworth's theory, that we learn to relate to significant others based on the relational interactions we observed in our parents, resonated strongly. Although, certainly, there are often other factors involved, but there's no arguing (and quite a few studies in support of the contention) that - for the most part - children learn by emulating what they see and hear. Therefore, it only stands to reason that we are most likely going to carry these learned behaviors with us into adulthood and into our own relationships.

Once again, although the doctors offered some good advice, I was also struck by the fact that an equal amount of advice seemed insensitive and aimed at women while not taking into consideration that women don't think or respond similarly. Case in point: "Your past is your job to deal with. It is not your new partner's job. So rather than foist it on them, work through it with a friend or a therapist." `Foist'? This is the way most men think. It is not, generally, the way women think. Many women, in fact, are usually all too willing to hear about their partner's past issues if their partner is willing to share that part of their life with them. Additionally, in some cases this advice is not feasible, such as when one partner truly has no one else to talk to and is in dire need of talking about a situation that is potentially life-threatening. It appears that chivalry must, most certainly, be dead.

So...how does one mend a broken heart? I never quite reached the point by the end of the book where I felt that my broken heart had been mended by the advice offered. In my opinion, this can only be done by learning to love oneself. Because by loving ourselves we realize that we are deserving of love from others and that we deserve more than a partner who has chosen not to remain in our lives. Only then can one learn to let go of the pain of a broken relationship and go on to truly love another.

And, in case you're wondering...it took reading this book for me to see that I really didn't need anyone to tell me how to let go of the pain of my broken heart. The answer was always within.

During the two months after my break up, I went through a roller coaster ride. My emotions were everywhere, and worst of all, when I felt better, I always feared that it was just my imagination and that I would soon feel worse again. I got a lot of support from my friends and family, but inside my brain painful images that reminded me of my past would pop up involuntarily from time to time.

The biggest obstacle this book has helped me overcome is related to the fact that one of its authors is a hypnotist. I have only read half way through the book, but I believe I have found everything that I needed already. The techniques they presented in the first half uses a semi-hypnotic sort of way to help you manipulate and recode your memories so that you can change your way of thinking - from the root. Ever since following the instructions in the book, I really do feel like I was able to stop thinking about my ex and stop feeling pained.

I think most books helping you deal with break ups are shallow. Many books are just out to make a buck on someone who is desperate for help. This book is much better than the other break up book I bought, but books alone cannot help you get over a heartbreak. I would recommend this to someone who is looking for that last thing to help them completely get over their break up.

I've had my heart broken sooo many times, but I still search for love and companionship, so I had to find a way to put the past behind me. I learned EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques -- good if you have lots of fear), and Solution Cycling (Emotional Brain Training -- good if you have lots of anger), and they helped... But after one particular horrible heartbreak (my fiance decided to become a Catholic priest) that I just couldn't seem to get over after a year, I decided to try this book. Not every exercise was pertinent to my situation, but after a few hours of work, I was over this man for good! It has been 3 months since I did the exercises that healed me and I am still healed!! If I ever get my heart broken again I will go back and do these exercises. They are a miracle... and healing my heart means that I'm truly open for someone else without carrying baggage from the past.

I have read this book many times and always pick up useful info and insights. I advise getting his other book "I can make you confident" that contains an excellent cd with similar exercises. This book stands out because it is written in a very concise way and gets straight to the point. Unlike most other books on this subject, he presents simple exercises you can do that actually work. Positive action nearly always leads to relief. He states useful insights as to why we pick the mates we do (family imprinting) and how to change what you find attractive -especially useful for those of us who keep attracting the same types of people and outcomes, just with different faces.

I wasn't cured in a week but definitely feel better and am implementing his new strategies to break old habits. The familiarity aspect from family dynamics has a strong hold on us, most of it in our subconscious mind. Ever wonder why some people you meet have that 'coming home' feeling and then whammo, you're in over your head and are battling it out again and again? The book is not about blame but in acknowledging what is and what you can do to tweak it. If you get the cd, he has the most amazing voice!

Heartbreak is torture whether you've broken up with someone you've been with for years or had your hopes dashed after a couple of of dates thinking he/she might be that special someone but turned out not to be. Good luck to those of you who are suffering.

I was going through a horrible breakup with my ex-fiancee, so I ordered this book. Even though it was a mutual thing there was once such a strong love that my heart was broken and I needed help. Some of the exercises and thinking in the book were helpful. But really I have not found one book that can cure a broken heart. The best things you can do is follow your dreams, go out with your true friends, and go on vacation- get your hair done, nails, spa sessions.. Make yourself feel beautiful and more confident and in time your heart will mend.. ;)

This book is somewhat different from most of Mckenna's books but it is still very good. I would recommend it just be warned that it actually has some theory in it and not as many exercises as other books.

Paul McKenna has been so gracious as to include a reference to my book, WHY WE PICK THE MATES WE DO, in his book, HOW TO MEND A BROKEN HEART. My book focuses on how to know BEFORE you begin an intimate relationship with a potential partner whether or not the relationship will work out AFTER you two have gotten involved.

Paul's book gives effective ways to deal with the pain of those "broken" relationships that you may wish you had never gotten involved in in the first place. He gives many effective tips for salvaging your self-esteem, re-building the courage to begin again, and finding the wisdom to pick another type of partner, one who can give you the kind of relatonship you wanted in the first place.

As a testimonial in my book, Paul wrote, "I have long suspected that the tradiitioal psychological view that our adult lives are spent trying to compensate for the unmet needs of our childhood, is only part of the picture. I believe Anne Teachworth's work is important, because she has discovered some of the missing parts. Through her excellent book, you can, too. Not only will you find it fascinating, but life changing, too."

I sincerely thank Paul for his endorsement of my Psychogenetic System of Transgenerational Couple Counseling in WHY WE PICK THE MATES WE DO, especially since I have long greatly admired his astounding skills as a hypnotist and the sincere compassion and dedication he has always had in helping people remove their unconscious blocks to living lives of love, happiness and success.

This book arrived a lot sooner than I expected, and it was in wonderful condition. What more could you ask for??? Thanks,