Customer Reviews

Can My Marriage be Saved?: True Stories of Saved Marriages

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I first met Mae when I was doing my radio show. Her book was unlike any I had heard of before. When I meet with couples, many are on the brink of divorce and don't know if they can find their way back because of the hurt that has been caused. This book can effectively give them hope through the stories of others who have successfully survived marital trials. This book is great for counseling agencies, marriage ministries in your church, or if you need to get inspiration for your own struggling relationship.

I had a client who mentioned this book as one that has helped her while waiting on her husband to return to their marriage. I bought it and can say that it is one I recommend often to those who are wanting their marriage restored and are waiting on the Lord. There are amazing stories within this cover than can lead to hope and healing.

Mae and Erika Chambers are an unlikely duo to write a marriage book. Or are they? This bluegrass singing, guitar playing, mother-daughter duet doesn't have any training in marriage and family therapy, but what they do have is real life experience.

Mae Chambers' marriage had problems from the Opening Bell, and by its 7th year, the stock was at an all time low. Three out of four counselors said it was time to sell. Mae writes,

"The first three counselors, after hearing of John's re-involvement with drugs and alcohol, his raging verbal abuse, and his adamant refusal to seek help, all advised me to go along with the divorce...But I simply couldn't accept their conclusion...so I found myself in yet another counselor's office...she [the fourth therapist] challenged me to go home, get alone with God, and honestly ask Him to show me what I had done to cause problems in my marriage. My face flushed with anger, but I held my tongue. Obviously she had missed the fact that I was a victim in this mess of a marriage. John was the guilty one.

While John was obviously out of control, Mae began see subtler ways she had contributed to the marital mess. She sought forgiveness and then, as she describes it, began to "stand for her marriage" by remaining faithful to a prodigal husband. In time, her marriage improved.

Real Marital Problems

The book, Can My Marriage be Saved?, is a collection of 22 auto-biographical accounts of severely troubled marriages that survived. The problems are severe, and true to life: cheating husbands, cheating wives, a spectrum of verbal and physical abuse. Some couples describe being estranged for years before reconciliation. Warning, Disney boycotters: its sex, drugs, and bluegrass.

He Said, She Said

In each story, the spouses take turns writing from their own point of view. This provides good perspective, though the frequent changing of literary voice can damage a story's flow--and it gives me a migraine. Still, the drama is a page-turner, and the narrative is far superior to the anonymous vignettes typical for a marital help book.

Real Marriage Solutions

How do you save a marriage? In the book, some couples used therapy, many used prayer, and all had a unique path to healing. Consider this excerpt from the story of Gary and Mona,

...the counselor had suggested I read a book on codependency. I had almost laughed out loud...I remember looking at him and saying, "You think I'm codependent?" He looked at me calmly.

"I know you are."

I went ahead and took the book home, but just to prove him wrong. I read it, and before long I realized he was probably right.

In the story of Bev and Tom, after an argument where Bev lost her composure, she met with a professor for a lesson on neurobiology. She writes,

I wasn't sure what neurobiology had to do with my marriage, but I was about to find out. "Brain function has a great deal to do with how we respond to real or perceived pain...Beneath the new brain lies the brain stem, or old brain. Painful memories from childhood can trigger the old brain's fight-or-flight response."

"You mean I'm not crazy?" I asked, heaving a huge sigh of relief, unable to hold back a floodgate of tears.

"No, you are not crazy, just reactive."

Final Word

In Can My Marriage be Saved?, the reader is never told what to do to save their marriage; just what 44 other people did. The book drips inspiration. I challenge you to read this book, and when you're done, close it and reread the question on the front cover. Then, answer the question yourself.

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Provided by Thrive Boston Therapy, www.thriveboston.com. Counseling and life coaching appointments in person, and by telephone. Call 617-395-5806. Written by Dr. Anthony Centore.

Final Note: If you're a counselor or therapist looking to help couples through online counseling, this is the best online counseling / telephone therapy book on the market --The Therapist's Clinical Guide to Online Counseling and Telephone Counseling: The Definitive Training Guide for Clinical Practice

This books is a real tool for marriages. Broken marriages with one partner wanting to reconcile, bad marriages, good marriages, marriages in the making, all can get real help and insight into marriage. In a day when many marriage counselors and pastors counsel people to give up if the other partner is not interested in reconciling the marriage, this book shows how that does not have to be the only answer. All the stories of marriages saved from the brink of disaster give hope and to the average married person they give insight in how to make their marriage better. My children have also read this book and the one who is getting married this year said he really learned from reading it. Unlike many books on marriage, this one actually shows you how to get help they way many of these people in the stories did. All you will need is internet, or telephone to contact these marriage ministries.

What a great resource for troubled marriages Can My Marriage be Saved?: True Stories of Saved Marriages. This isn't a sugar coated, platitude laden book - it's real stories, of real families, with real problems... then real solutions!! I liked that! No matter what your issue is, you can probably find a similar one in here - adultery, drug or alcohol abuse, financial issues, blended families, even the death of a child. What I liked best about the book is that after each story there is information about the marriage ministry that helped that family reconcile. There's contact information, name, address, phone number and website info, for each ministry. It's a resource I'll keep on my bookshelf for myself, as well as keep a copy or two handy for friends and family who find themselves in difficult marriages.