Customer Reviews

I Can Read You Like a Book

5 star:		(10)
4 star:		(4)
3 star:		(5)
2 star:		(7)
1 star:		(3)

 

 

My first B.A. was in Interpersonal Communication, a large part of which involved nonverbal communication (aka body language). That was decades ago. Now I enjoy reading more recent information to get different opinions and updated theories.

This book is a huge disappointment. If you remove the generalized information such as making sure you understand what is normal for any given person before attempting to read his/her body language, you are unfortunately left with the author's egomaniacal biography. You even get to know how he has his hair cut (military flat top) and what kind of cowboy boots he wears (steel-toed), although neither applies to reading someone like a book. The author just really seems to want to talk about himself.

In one section, the reader is shown a photo of a man, woman, and child. You know, due to the author's own "baseline," that this is a family photo. Instead of simply explaining what the nonverbal communication in the picutre means, the author goes on for several pages describing the lives of each of the people in the photo. There is no reason for this; it has nothing to do with the point theoretically being made. We even get to hear about the "estranged grandfather." After the brief explanation of his posture, we are told that Grandpa "at the age of 35, went ashore on D-Day, with the 29th Infantry Division; to some extent, that earned him the right to look cocky." Huh? Do you want to hear that subjective bit of information, much less need to read it?

I'm sure Gregory Hartley really is a big ol' beer-guzzling macho guy who intimidates the daylights out of those he so proudly interrogates, but I personally find him so annoying I can only give very little credibility to the information in his book.

I've got a degree in the subject. I've taught the subject on campus and in seminars. There are other books out there for those who want to read the latest on nonverbal communication. Don't bother with this one unless you're prepared to wade through the details of Mr. Hartley's personal information.

This book simply fails to deliver on its promise. Except for the obvious, it does not teach anything special to a businessman, salesman, or anyone for that matter. I have no book to recommend, I will go to the public library and check the book before buying another book of this type. This book is all bark and no bite. Save your money. Yes, I read the whole book!!!

The author approaches this subject from a specific vantage point, that of an interrogator. Once I was properly oriented with where he was coming from then many of his anecdotes and bits of advice became more understandable. His advice and methods are geared towards dealing with hostile or suspicious people, with much emphasis on the pitfalls of cultural differences. This is not really a book of social situation analysis where people are typically more amicable.

It contains details about reactions that are near-universal due to biology such as pupil dilation and the changes in a persons mucosa(not something I've seen covered much elsewhere). Much of this is delivered in a matter of fact tone that reminds me of a seminar transcript. This is not a bad thing except that without lots of pictures the text can be a tad confusing in its explanations. One example deals with watching people's eye movements when they recall an event versus constructing an imaginary event. He explains that right handed people's eyes tend to go up and right when constructing a visual image (i.e. making something up) but the text doesn't make it clear if this is "their" right or "your" right when looking at them. Other books I've read on the subject make this much clearer since they contain many more pictures. They show you a person you are looking at and detail the movements as you'd see them, not as you'd do them, hence up and right means up and left when looking at a person.

I understand what some other reviewers say about it being a tad ego centric as it is obvious the author tries to project a personality of authority and toughness. This image likely works better in interrogations, or even in a live seminar on the topic, than it does in a print format that is trying to teach something. I was able to read past this but I can certainly see how to some people it would be a huge turn-off on trying to finish the book.

Not really a book for novices in the subject matter and it really should have its marketing image tweaked to appeal more towards confrontational analysis.

I found the author's writing style difficult. The author works with a four-point "R-E-A-D" outline; such an outline should result in a smooth-flowing book, but this was not the case. [One outcome - this is not a book I send to anyone as a gift). However, if you find this book in a public library, then borrow it. The book contains a number of useful nuggets. In particular, his anecdote (p. 191) on "false cognates" is a red-alert. We are reminded that we don't exactly answer a question. Our answer is to our understanding of the question(and our feelings about the question and the environment (e.g. the interrogator)). This can be troublesome. [The anecdote demonstrates someone admitting, across a language-divide, to child rape because of innocuous "false cognate" words used by the interrogator.]

I had an unusual reason to order this book -- my child has a mild case of Asperger's Syndrome. This means that she lacks the skills to interpret body language unless she learns it as a "second language." So I bought it with her in mind. As I read it, I was surprised how extremely helpful it was for ME. I honestly never realized how much I was missing! The skills it teaches will help with relationships of all kinds, business and personal. I truly believe readers will find it valuable and fascinating -- not to mention well written! Thank you, Gregory Hartley and Maryann Karinch!

For those who enjoy playing detective, analyzing people, or just trying to gather clues for `fitting in' with a culture or sub-culture, this book may be an informative read. Referring to humans as `naked apes', expert interrogator, Gregory Hartley, uses this body language primer to introduce his R.E.A.D. (Review, Evaluate, Analyze, Decide) system for figuring out what is really going down when an `unknown monkey' enters the fray.

Acknowledging that context defines everything, including the signs from body language, the reader is first treated to a lesson in culture as the biggest external influence. That said, Hartley gives the reader a tutorial in what various facial components (the forehead or brow speaks loudest) may be saying - is that a smile of recognition or discomfort? Don't judge yet, just gather data (including body posture and limb movement) and in this `Review `stage, catalogue what you see. Develop a baseline and look for changes that are inconsistent with the words spoken - this is the `Evaluate' stage. Is that change due to excitement or embarrassment? Now it is time to make it personal and `Analyze' the individual so that you can `Decide' what to do with the information you gather.

How simple is that? Not very, was my observation after reading the book, so I looked at Hartley's points to remember:
* Culture is pervasive
* Long-term relationships...create...blinding...filters
* False cognates exist in body language, as well as spoken language
* Baseline what is normal first
* Build your own list of....mood indicators
* Context is everything
Still, not a very clear how-to list for me, and I conclude that it is very difficult, even for an expert, to write about how to read others. Perhaps it is just best to ask what they mean! Dennis DeWilde, author of "The Performance Connection"

This is much better than your typical "read my lips" book. There were some very interesting items on children and daycare and how it affects them; involuntary eyebrow messages; and many other topics that truly helped me understand the nonverbal messages that we send without realizing. The book also helped explain why men have always felt so intimidated by me when I thought I wasn't SAYING anything to make them feel that way. I apparently naturally use POWER body language in the way I sit, and in my facial expressions. Knowledge is power - I think this book is a real fine read!

I met Staff Sergeant Hartley in 1997, when I was an Army Warrant Officer and we were assigned to the same unit. We served together on several occasions, and I came to appreciate at first hand that he really IS all that and a bag of chips. We talked at length, ate together, and trained together. I considered him a friend, and was sorry when life moved us in different directions.

Several reviewers have called Greg arrogant, either directly or in so many words. Our former CO certainly thought so, but she also let him do his thing, because he was so good at his job. People who pursue, and-- like Greg--actually ACHIEVE excellence are usually considered to be a pain in the a*s by people who are watching the clock and waiting for their retirement papers to come through. They perceive as arrogance the assurance of a subordinate who is better at the job than they are--and knows it. It is a sad commentary on our society that even those of surpassing ability are expected to adopt an "aw, shucks!" act, and pretend they are no better than anyone else.

Greg doesn't play that game.

In fact, he reminds me of another "Gregory"--the fictional Dr. House--abrasive, unconventional, opinionated, occasionally dismissive, and usually right. Even so, I was never once put off by his demeanor or behavior--not in the least. I was technically his superior at our former unit, where, to his credit, he always observed proper military courtesies, even though we both knew that he was a better interrogator than I was. That hardly bespeaks arrogance. Quite the contrary. SSG Hartley was an exemplary, though certainly atypical, soldier and NCO.

I went on to earn a Ph.D. and become a college professor, but I have not forgotten what I learned from Greg. He has a unique mind, clear vision, and a powerful, penetrating intellect. Anyone with an interest in this subject would do well to listen to what he has to say.

I did, and I knew the man.

I really liked this book. It gives a large overview of body language and how to read it. It's a bit dry and contains quite a lot of information. Expect to have to re-read it a few times to understand and be able to apply the information contained within.

Having read a number of books about body language, most of which have lots of pictures and written analysis of 'frozen moments', I was pleasantly surprised when I read this book. Here is a different take on body language, an approach that cites many real-life examples, explaining the body language of various interactions step by step as they evolve, rather than offering the usual explanations of magazine poses.

At the beginning of the book the emphasis is on cultural differences in body expression, then the book moves on to discuss the classification of body language - as in illustrators, adaptors, regulators and barriers, giving great insight into the reasons for, and ways in which each class is used, and then you will find my favourite section, a section where well known public exchanges between various politicians and celebrities are discussed in micro detail. Finally, the author examines ways we might use our new knowledge, offering us the insight of experience rather than the usual speculation.

All the situations are discussed in a way that enables you to feel and identify how and why the body language in question took place, which is, of course, more useful than the usual frozen moment without context. So, if you want a book about body language which REALLY leaves you feeling that you've learned something, this is probably the book for you!