Customer Reviews

Cancer Made Me a Shallower Person: A Memoir in Comics

5 star:		(28)
4 star:		(5)
3 star:		(3)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

Cancer Made me a Shallower Person, by Miriam Engelberg, is a memoir in comics. If you are used to thinking of comics as being time-wasters for teenage boys, then this book might be a good introduction to the power that comics can have when they are written for adults. Persepolis by Marjane Satrapi would be another good one to check out (it is about her life growing up in Iran), as well as the Dykes to Watch Out For series by Alison Bechdel (hilarious series, meant for liberal women, and is very funny and touching).

Engelberg talks about the changes that came into her life when she was diagnosed with cancer, and recalls with humor and gentle intelligence the experiences and feelings involved in getting diagnosed with cancer, going through the treatment, and living through the experience. She manages to turn most of her experiences, even the incredibly scary and painful ones, into bittersweet, touching humor, which makes this a valuable resource for those who have cancer. This book is like hanging out with a witty and smart girlfriend, and I think a woman with cancer would really enjoy feeling like she wasn't alone in the experience.

It was a bit hard for me to read in places, because I don't have cancer and so haven't really had to face some of the difficult realities that she discusses. But I wanted to read it to understand a bit of what my friend's Mom is going through in her struggle with cancer, so even though it was painful in places, I thought it was a really valuable read.

11/06 - Just wanted to edit my review to say "rest in peace" to our dear author friend. After reading her book I felt like she became sort of a friend to me, and when I heard that she passed away last month I felt deeply saddened. She has touched so many of us with her writing and, I hear, her appearances, in which she showed a grace and down to earth friendliness which seemed to bring everyone attending into her circle of friends. I am grateful to have "known" her through her writing, and I wish her family peace.

One might no longer feel as though on an island of despair after reading this comic-format book. Many of the issues and concerns and the self-blame for why one has gotten cancer - as well as how various people react to cancer within themselves, or among their friends, relatives, co-workers and strangers - are addressed in a thought-provoking manner that at times makes you laugh, but most of all, makes you realize that you are not alone. This is not a book covering all the latest treatment options, how to deal with the therapies and so forth. It is a charming and witty and yet soberingly realistic look at life with cancer. And it also a wonderful comic-relief from some of the (often times quite frightening) issues and concerns of having cancer. It also helps one to realize that many others in the same boat are having the same feelings.

I thought that some of the pertinent things covered in the book are:

- blaming yourself for having eaten the wrong things or having lived the wrong lifestyle - eating all that cheese, or greasy junk food full of preservatives, or drinking all that diet soda, or talking too much on the cell phone.

- how people with different forms of cancer sometimes have trouble relating to each other and how people with the same forms of cancer tend to form cliques for this reason.

- the notion of being a cancer survivor: when does it begin (upon diagnosis?) and when does it end (are you still a survivor in your deathbed, drawing your last few gasps of air?)

If you have recently been diagnosed with cancer, or are fighting it, or know someone near and dear who is going through it - READ THIS BOOK. Add it to the list of how-to's and serious medical books. It will help you understand how the human psyche responds to this form of crisis just a little better.

Miriam Engelberg's graphic tale of her encounter with cancer is the best I've ever read. It's gripping, sympathetic, bitterly funny and gut-wrenchingly sad all at the same time. They (whoever they are) say humor helps boost the immune system. I'm not a doctor but I could dress up as one and I'd prescribe this book in a heartbeat.

Don't read it if you go for the schmaltzy stuff. Read it if you want to laugh, cry and shake your fist at the fates.

As someone with metastatic breast cancer, I felt as though Miriam were writing about my own life. Who knew that those of us with breast cancer had such universal experiences? (Thank you for giving us that awareness, Miriam.) When I suggested to my family that cancer could be funny, they seriously doubted me and my sanity until they read this book. The "which breast?" cartoon made us all hysterical, and made me long to have t-shirt just like the one portrayed in the strip. The book is poignant, irreverant, laugh-out-loud funny, and truer than true.

Engelberg's Memoir in Comics is an excellent, hilarious, irreverent, punch-packing, truthful, gripping, somewhat nihilistic portrayal of the typical experience of a cancer patient. Family members and friends should read this, if they can bear it, to understand more intimately what their cancer-battling beloved might be going through.

But this is pretty morbid humor. Handle with caution. I loved some of the visual jokes; and the less punch-you-in-the-gut satire really cracked me up. But I read it in the middle of chemo, myself, and the more pungently morose satire threw me into a doom and gloom that didn't help my situation. After I'm done with my treatments, and hopefully I'll really been done at that point (I fall into Engelberg's "no, I'm okay, really" non-metastatic part of the cancer world), I will then be able to laugh at the more painfully funny parts of the book. Engelberg, herself part of the "gone metastatic - damn!" part of the cancer world, takes on the sometimes pollyannaish culture of denial. I find a little denial goes a long way, so I will cling to my "damn cheerfulness" until I can't hold on any longer. Truthfully, I find there are some very beautiful side effects of this ghastly disease - namely, the incredible outpourings of love and support from friends and family, and the piercing appreciation of life when I feel good.

In short, Engelberg's comic memoir is bitingly funny but borders on the bitter - it is a pill that is best swallowed when you are out of the woods, yourself.

I opened up this book to a random page when I was walking home from the bookstore. I started laughing and kept peeking at new pages as I walked. When I got home, I sat down and read the whole book. When I showed my husband some of the cartoons, he started laughing. If you're a breast cancer survivor who appreciates off-beat humor and stark honesty, give this book a chance. As a warning, there's not a happy ending.

Miriam Engelberg examines her ongoing experience with breast cancer in a memoir in comics - a counterintuitive form with a counterintuitive message.
By means of primitive cartoons and unflagging gentle humor, the author leads the reader through an array of experiences with family, friends, and therapists as she is affected by her diagnosis, treatment, relapse, and chemotherapy for breast cancer. She is a master of distillation, compressing life situations, philosophy, and religion into a handful of panels per page. How could any of this be funny? That's Engelberg's genius, her delightfully twisted perspective, honed by intelligence and sensitivity. Cancer Made me a Shallower Person is a must read for anyone who cares to understand the feelings of a cancer patient, be they be friend, physician, or family member.

Miriam gets it right in each cartoon panel, revealing her fears, relaying her lack of belief in a superior being who doesn't seem to be overly interested in what happens to some of us "down here", and the weird/stupid stuff she goes through during her cancer treatments -- wig shopping, perusing the "uplifting" manuals and books available on the subject of facing one's cancer diagnosis, and much more.
In comic book form, one person's very thoughtful take on what it means to be alive and facing death at the same time becomes real for every reader. Couldn't be better.

Karen Aitchison

As a breast cancer survivor myself, this book reflects many of my thoughts and feelings battling this dreaded disease. It speaks for the thousand of us women as we go through the diagnosis, treatment and beyond. I applaud the author and book. It addresses the practical side of being diagnosed with cancer and not the 'cancer is a gift' side. A must have for family and friends to help truly understand what we are going through after being diagnosed with cancer.

Having been diagnosed with breast cancer in my early 30s a few years ago, I had stayed away from cancer books because I was always worried that they would be too saccharine or too dark until Miriam Engelberg's book. I bought Ms. Engelberg's book after attending a reading by Ms. Engelberg at a local book store. Her writing is deeply honest, self deprecating and darkly funny. Her drawings, although simple and almost crude, fit perfectly with the style of her prose. I read it cover to cover that night, and found myself laughing out loud at her humorous insights, empathizing with her fears and in internally saying "me too" at her reactions to her cancer diagnosis and the responses by those around her. Her book may not be for the sparkly pink ribbon set, but her stories and thoughts will touch a cord with almost anyone - particularly anyone in their 20s, 30s or 40s - who has been diagnosed with breast cancer.