175 of 192 people found the following review helpful
on February 18, 2006
I was disappointed by this book. People who are reading all the glowing reviews on here should consider who the reviewers are and should know that this book isn't for everyone. I bought it because I thought it would be useful to get a male perspective on Internet dating. Evan Katz is a likable guy with a self-effacing humor and a breezy, engaging writing style. But women, especially over 35, should know that this book is mostly geared toward guys and giving them advice on how to land dates with attractive women.
Katz seems to have a distorted view of what online dating is like for women. He says that a woman can put a profile up and have literally hundreds of men writing to her the first week. "Suddenly a woman has a mountain of men waiting at her doorstep like the paparazzi outside Brad and Jennifer's mansion." What planet is he on??? That isn't my experience or that of the women I know. There is nothing in this book for us, except maybe that we should set our sights on 60-year-old men, because they are the only ones likely to be interested in us anyway! Katz would have done well to consult some women besides the apparently hot young babes he has dated.
People who are new to online dating will probably get more out of the book than those already in the game. I mean, I already knew you had to put up attractive, smiling photos and write a creative, original profile. Unless you're a man or a woman under 30, save your money.
109 of 126 people found the following review helpful
on February 29, 2004
I'm a CyberRomance Coach, so I try to keep up with the books that are coming out about Internet Dating. I had four come in the mail from Amazon this week. I was not very optimistic about the quality of the four, since most of what is getting printed is pretty bad - very thin on the information department, usually just a rehash of what has already been printed, and poorly written as well.
Imagine my surprise and delight at Evan Marc Katz's "I Can't Believe I'm Buying This Book: A Commonsense Guide to Successful Internet Dating"! My pencil was flying as I underlined Katz's unique points on page after page. I found new stuff in every chapter.
This guy knows what he is talking about. Katz used to be the customer consultant at AmericanSingles and JDate. And it sounds as if he has been at times certifiable as an Internet Dating Junkie. He knows the big dating sites and he knows about profiles - Wow! Does he know profiles! Katz gives the best profile advice I have seen, short of what I do myself. Plus he's funny and writes reasonably well.
Katz has a couple of weak spots - he's young (the cover says he's 31) and while he has been an energetic Online dater, he has yet to meet the love of his life, online or otherwise - though he did fall in love for the first time. He really hasn't got much to add for the over 50 crowd, a huge segment of CyberDaters, other than the good advice he gives for your online presentation and for dating in general. Katz's book is clearly "A Commonsense Guide to Successful Internet Dating" - it's about dating, not necessarily about finding the love of your life. He's great at that, the hands down expert, as far as I am concerned. Katz's answer to everyone's question "Does Internet dating work?" is a clear and unqualified "Yes!" But if you want assurance that you will find the love of your life via the Internet, you will not find it here.
Katz also asserts that he founded the first online dating consulting service E-Cyrano in 2003. He and I need to talk, since I have been online as a CyberRomance coach since 2002. But let's not split hairs - Katz has written a GREAT Internet dating book, and it's going to the top of my Amazon Listmania recommendations. Congratulations, Evan!
And I am not even going to tell you the names of those other books.
71 of 82 people found the following review helpful
on April 19, 2004
Five stars doesn't seem like enough.
I've been dating online for just under a year, and what I really like about this book is how it lets the reader know that they're not alone in the trials and tribulations of online dating.
For instance, I used to feel like I was the only one stupid enough to go out with a girl even when I really wasn't all that excited about meeting her. The author assures me that his roommate is the same way. The author does a great job of disarming the reader and assuring the reader that they're not the only ones going through these different nuances of online dating.
Online dating can be rough. Where else can you potentially be talking to six different women through e-mail, four of them on the phone, and get three different dates a week? It can be really rough because you reject and get rejected A LOT more than you would outside of cyberspace, because you do A LOT more interacting with the opposite sex. This book has everything you need to know to enter this arena, and everything you need to know to survive in it once you're there.
Get into online dating without the kind of advice found in this book, and you're going to get butchered alive. Trust me-I got into online dating when I split with my ex, and was totally taken aback when the first few women I wrote to ignored me. Now I know that it happens to everyone. I also didn't have enough experience or knowledge to know what to put in my profile and what to leave out, what to put in a new contact letter and what not to, etc. If I had, I would've had more dates at first and less rejection.
Good book. If you're getting into online dating (which I highly recommend because it's very challenging and very rewarding), you'll need this information and this book is the best place to get it.
One other thing-the author has a great sense of humor and the book is pretty funny in places.
22 of 27 people found the following review helpful
on July 19, 2004
I first encountered Mr. Katz when I accompanied a friend to a local singles mixer where the author happened to be a guest speaker. Admittedly, I was a somewhat skeptical audience. I had been online dating for four months and had become a bit disillusioned with the process. Mr. Katz delivered a lively, engaging presentation, choc-full of useful insight and peppered with great humor. By the end of his presentation, my interest in online dating was renewed and I decided to purchase his book. I was not disappointed.
This "Commonsense Guide" takes the reader through the crucial steps of determining which site is best for you and how to create an alluring profile that will generate more responses. The author continues by addressing some specific potential pitfalls of online dating and how to avoid them. What is remarkable about this book is that it is written with a sense of humor and includes some truly laugh out loud moments while remaining honest and true to the serious matter of finding love.
What I found especially surprising and pleasing about this book was the author's insight into the perspective of the female online dater. He accurately touched upon so many of the frustrations and challenges unique to women dating in cyberspace. I nodded with agreement and relief as he addressed my concerns one by one. This guy obviously did his homework.
This book is an entertaining and informative read, and if you have the opportunity to catch Evan Marc Katz at a speaking engagement, do so.
22 of 27 people found the following review helpful
on March 2, 2004
Evan Katz just gets it. I am a 32 year old dating veteran from nyc. Done the scene and seen it ALL. Was never bitter towards men, just wasn't meeting anyone with staying power. I am also a Jewish girl notorious for dating consummate wasps and found that the religious disparity was getting problematic with time. Enter Evan Katz.
I consulted with him at eCyrano back in December and he helped me write my profile for Jdate. Bless this guy and bless his book! He knows what he's talking about. As a working model and personal trainer in New York I never thought that I would need a vehicle like the internet to meet men. I never would have even considered jdate had it not been for his advice. This book is a very useful tool for anyone considering internet dating. Evan's impeccable attention to detail coupled with his guileless humor are so on point it makes for fast and easy reading. I have recommended it to everyone from my single clients to my father and of course all my beautiful and hip girls who had the same frustrations as me. Trust me. It works. I have been seriously dating a very promising and compelling man that I met on jdate for almost two months now. It's going quite, quite well. Finally...staying power.
18 of 22 people found the following review helpful
on July 5, 2005
I met my beautiful bride-to-be Cynthia via an
online dating service . . . consequently, the subject
of online romances has fascinated me ever since . . . and so
when I came across I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M BUYING THIS BOOK!
by Evan Marc Katz, I just had to read it if only because of its
subtitle: A COMMONSENSE GUIDE TO SUCCESSFUL
I was curious to see whether the author used some of the
same techniques I used to catch Cynthia's eye . . . also, I wanted
to see if the advice he gave others was as clever as his
own personal ad: "Funny Guy with Killer Body and Money to
Burn Seeks Woman Who Doesn't Believe Everything She Reads."
I was not disappointed . . . I CAN'T BELIEVE is a terrific book,
not only for those seeking an online date--but for just about
anybody needing to market a product or service . . . in addition,
it contains a lot of advice that could be used for those job hunting.
Katz presents much useful advice in a humorous fashion that
had me laughing--and thinking at the same time . . . he went
through every step of the process and what he says
is applicable to both guys and gals.
There were many useful suggestions; among them:
You can apply this to anything that might initially seem specific.
"Sports, community service, and travel" may give a reader a glimpse
into your interests. Contrast that with "I've been ice-skating since
before I could walk; twice a month, I volunteer to cheer up residents
at an old-age home; and I just returned from two weeks on a guided
back-packing tour of the Amazon Basin." These kinds of specifics
not only make you more interesting, but if a reader can find some
connection with you in your essays, if what you write sounds like
you're talking directly to her, she's more likely to feel that you're
what she's looking for. With just a few extra strokes on the keyboard,
you've now piqued her interest. If you've written her first, it will at
least be enough to get her to write you back so that you can open
up a dialogue.
There are those who maintain that they simply cannot imagine being
discovered by anyone they know seeing their face on the Internet.
To these people, I say one thing: "If someone is looking at your
picture on an online dating website, then, guess what? They're online
dating themselves." In short, there's nothing to be embarrassed
about. The perceived stigmas attached to online dating are gone.
(And if they're not, boy, am I going to be embarrassed when this
book turns into a best-seller and Oprah wants to interview me and
I have to admit on national television that I'm an "expert" at online
dating. How horrifying.)
What will ultimately differentiate you from everyone else who is sending
her email is your comment on her profile. Find something that stood
out in her essays and give a quick but thoughtful one paragraph response
to it. From this, she'll know two things: 1) you've read her essays and
2) you have something in common. Congratulations. You've just
leapt ahead of 80 percent of the other emails she's received.
14 of 17 people found the following review helpful
on February 11, 2005
I bought this book and Online Dating for Dummies while doing research on Internet dating. The for Dummies book pales by comparison to this one. Firstly Even Katz is much funnier then 2 PhD's who authored the other book. While laughing you are learning a lot of good practical advice. I can confidently say that this book has made a huge difference in my own online dating experiences. Before reading this book I maybe got 1 response from every 10 women I wrote to. And I almost never got a woman writing to me out of her own. This is has changed dramatically. I get 1 or 2 women writing to me on a weekly basis. I also get a much better response when I write to them. I get women quoting my headline and refering to my essay's all the time.[...]
13 of 16 people found the following review helpful
on March 12, 2005
Being in and out of online dating for some years, this book was a great find, and it will be for many more. The author provides a clear guide for everything related to online dating, like selecting a website, the photo, writing essays, and more. His style is funny and realistic, which makes it a less hard blow on one's ego when you read all your mistakes and why they don't work. Some of the most common mistakes the author mentions in some sections I've learned the hard way, save yourself the trouble and get this book. Many examples (for both good things to write and the no-no's) will help you on your next adventure in the world of online ads.
17 of 22 people found the following review helpful
on July 17, 2006
Evan Marc Katz has created a warm, witty, inviting book that brilliantly describes pearls and pitfalls of online dating. He discusses the sensitive emotional and interpersonal issues' dating online imposes on singles, and offers practical suggestions and compassionate support. This book is an invaluable resource for those singles dating online. If you want to laugh out loud while learning about online dating, it is a must read!
(My professional opinion)
However, I'm single, over 35, and while this book was a gift, I haven't laughed this hard about basic dating skills in a long time. I read it because Evan Marc Katz was actually my gift (too bad for all of you that only got the book). Seriously, Evan's coaching was a present to me from a friend who thought I needed a little assistance finding love online. After working with Evan, I realized all the little things really do matter. He taught me that in a game of numbers, you have to stand out otherwise you may not get noticed by the people you want. The book is educational to anyone with an open mind, and who isn't jaded and cynical simply because they are over 35 and not yet married. I highly recommend it.
-Amy B. Trachter, Psy.D.,Ph.D.
Assistant Professor of Clinical Medicine
Miller School of Medicine: University of Miami
7 of 8 people found the following review helpful
on June 3, 2007
There is a right way and wrong way to go about online dating. I had been doing it the wrong way. Some of the tips he gives I had never even thought about before and realize he is exactly right. This is one of the rare books I intend to read again just to make sure everything sinks in. Anyway I have been heeding his advice and there is no greater proof that it works than by the results I have been having...CUTE women contacting me and responding to me. I have a date this week that I am actually looking forward to going on.