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I Can't Believe I'm Still Single: Sane, Slightly Neurotic (but in a Sane Way) Filmmaker into Good Yoga, Bad Reality TV, Too Much Chocolate, and a ... Point Anyone Who'll Let Me Watch Football Paperback – April 26, 2007

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Editorial Reviews


Eric Schaeffer, enfant terrible of the New York dating scene, has written a deeply funny account of his romantic and sexual quest. His frank revelations are a surprisingly addictive guilty pleasure. -- Tracy Quan, author of Diary of a Married Call Girl

From his adventures with online dating to repeated attempts to pick up women at yoga studios, the book is absurdly honest to the point of being thoughtless, offensive and just very, very funny. While various gossip Web sites responded with appalled prudishness to Schaeffer's blog, any man who has lived and dated in Manhattan will relate, however uncomfortably, to Schaeffer's deeply earnest and ever hopeful quest to find a woman. -- New York Post, May 13, 2007

I am a fan. Eric Schaeffer's writing is an unusual combination: weird, hilarious and compelling all at the same time. You almost don't believe what you are reading, but at the same time, you relate to the underlying emotions. And on top of it all, he is really funny. -- Tucker Max, author of I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell

The depth, weight, and humor of Schaeffer's prose is, in a word, astonishing. Why is he still single? The irony in the answer does not escape him, but you will find yourself rooting for him to find `the one.' -- Mark Ebner, co-author of Hollywood, Interrupted

About the Author

Eric Schaeffer’s television project for the FX Network, Starved, was created, written, directed and starred in by Schaeffer himself, and was premiered to widespread critical acclaim in August of 2005. Schaeffer has written, directed, produced, and starred in several films since 1994, including: My Life’s in Turnaround (Arrow Films, 1994), Fall (MGM, 1997), Wirey Spindell (Wellspring, 2000), Never Again which starred Jill Clayberg and Jeffrey Tambor (Focus Features, 2002), and Mind the Gap (Five Minutes Before the Miricle Releasing and Showtime, 2004). Schaeffer worked with Ben Stiller, Sarah Jessica Parker, and Elle McPherson on his 1996 Tristar film, If Lucy Fell. Schaeffer’s other film acting credits include One Night at McCool’s (USA Films). Schaeffer has also acted in starring roles on television, including First Years (NBC), Mitch Hurwitz’s Everything’s Relative (NBC), and Century City (CBS).


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Product Details

  • Paperback: 336 pages
  • Publisher: Running Press; 1st Thunder's Mouth Ed edition (April 26, 2007)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1568583370
  • ISBN-13: 978-1568583372
  • Product Dimensions: 8.2 x 5.6 x 0.8 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 8.8 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 3.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (39 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,714,921 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

28 of 36 people found the following review helpful By Elizabeth A. on September 3, 2007
Format: Paperback
This has to be the worst book I've read since Prozac Nation. Same narcissistic logorrhea. Schaeffer pretends to be honest with himself, but it's amazing how blind to his faults he remains throughout. I have enough confidence in yoga to think that if he keeps practicing he might get there, but as for this book, I found nothing redemptive in 317 pages. Schaeffer doesn't even like himself enough to breathe between dates. He's the guy you run from, believe me.

A much better, and more honest, read, though not a great book either, is Sex, Love, and Dharma. This guy hasn't found the one either, but he's a LOT closer, and his path seems way more genuine.
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23 of 30 people found the following review helpful By S. Robertson on February 10, 2008
Format: Paperback
My sister lives in the big city and for the past five years or so, I've listened to her stories about how terrible New York men are. I have to confess that I often wondered whether she and her friends were the problem (sorry, L!), wordlessly communicating something that triggered wimpy and, often enough, despicable male behavior. I changed my mind when she sent me a copy of "I Can't Believe I'm Still Single," which belongs in a psychiatry curriculum--Misogyny 101. Mr. Schaeffer acts like a spoiled teenager, either using women solely for his sexual satisfaction, or imagining a girl is "the one" when he has barely met her (if a girl did the same with him, I'm sure he -and anyone else- wouldn't hesitate to call her insane), expecting total devotion and attention from women he's known for about five minutes, belittling independence, and assuming that the women in his life must revolve around him. Should they be uninterested in life as a satellite, Mr. Schaeffer concludes they have a problem. And he wonders why he's still single.
If Mr. Schaeffer were twenty years old, his behavior would be somewhat excusable (I haven't forgotten some of the horrible things I did as a stupid kid whose main goal in life was getting laid, although I never dreamed of knocking a girl unconscious so I could have my way with her). But this is a forty-four-year old guy, a man who has already lived at least half of his life and, in the process, has obviously learned nothing. Women dump him, reject his advances, flee him; critics lambaste his movies--and still, he's convinced all of them are wrong and he's always right. It can't be easy to have a father who practices serial marriage, but at certain point a man has to assume responsibility for his actions, and Mr. Schaeffer past that point many years ago.
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46 of 62 people found the following review helpful By Tyler Hewson on May 23, 2007
Format: Paperback
The book is just as verbosely self-absorbed as the title would lead you to believe. The author tries to come across as witty, urbane and self-deprecating, but winds up revealing WAY too much about his neuroses, his addictions and his deep and barely concealed misogyny. I can't remember the last time I read a book where the author came across as so deeply unlikeable and yet at the same time completely unaware of how unsavory he seems.

Not worth the time it takes to read it and definitely not worth the money the publisher seems to think this deserves.
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28 of 37 people found the following review helpful By A. Stern on September 20, 2007
Format: Paperback
Ever wonder why recovering alcoholics and drug-addicts are so often still happy to remain raging narcissists? Here's another shining example of one of them. I think it's high time for a thirteenth step in the Program.
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58 of 80 people found the following review helpful By D. Parker on May 23, 2007
Format: Paperback
The women-haters club bible for lonely, aging singles that believe a life full of rejection from women is either amazingly horrible bad luck for such amazing, accomplished, funny, smart, attractive, nice yet infinitely demanding men or all women are just messed up. Gasp. I mean when you bait a woman to make a molestation joke you were obviously thinking about before she made it SHE must be the one who is messed up..or her disgust at your inane and rude questions on your first date and your ridiculous racial assumptions must mean she's not interesting enough to take care of you and the child you want to make at age 50. When Eric Schaeffer realizes no woman will reproduce with him in 5 years let us all pray he doesn't decide to adopt.

In the end I actually encourage every woman on every dating site interested in middle-aged white men notorious for crappy work and a gargantuan ego that can only be explained by a long-lasting strange mother-son relationship reads this book, stays away from his mat during yoga class and passes it on to their other female friends.
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18 of 24 people found the following review helpful By Michael J. Mark on July 23, 2008
Format: Paperback
I must say... it is remarkable to me the level of vitriol that Mr. Schaeffer seems to incur in response to his art. I have seen all of his films. From my perspective, they range from entertaining (Never Again, If Lucy Fell) to brilliant (Fall, Wirey Spindell)... though, this is neither here nor there. As with this book, his detractors seem incapable of reviewing the effort rather than the individual. The consistency of this reality from both lay people and (for shame) professional reviewers leaves me astounded. The worst thing I can think of to say about Eric Schaeffer is that he has no pause button between his brain and his mouth. Do we really experience this as such a problem... especially in an artist? Quite frankly, I find Eric to have a lot of respect for people in general with not a no malicious intent whatsoever(except perhaps in the way he sometimes treats himself)... again, neither here nor there. No one is asking you to date the man... or to hang out with him. If you think he is a lousy filmmaker... fine. If you think he is a poor author... lovely. But who cares what kind of person he is? Yes, this particular book, and some of his films are inspired by his own experiences... though what artist is that NOT true about? The man takes more shots at himself than any individual could ever dream of doing. Within that fact is a deep humility and a fair amount of self-awareness... if only the rest of Hollywood could manifest the same. Okay, now that I have become part of the problem... the book is wry, astute, sharp and insightful. If you are interested in reading the well written diatribes of someone who has no fear of saying what the rest of us only dare to think, do yourself a favor. On the other hand, if you find yourself intimidated by the journey of truth... run.
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