Customer Reviews

I Can't Believe You Asked That!: The Ultimate Q&A about Race, Sex, Religion, and Other Terrifying Topics

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On every page I found myself amazed by what people asked and how they answered. This book is sure to generate conversation, gasps, shock, cheers, and outrage. I have a copy on my coffee table, and it has started more conversations than practically anything else I've read.

Get copies for everyone you know.

I call these sorts of books, "bon-bon books" because like a box of chocolates I find myself reading one piece and then another until pretty soon I find that I've read the whole darn thing!

This is a collection of questions and answers about delicate subjects from Milano's website, "Y? The National Forum on People's Differences." Some of this is a little too delicate for an Amazon review, but let me give it a try.

Do women (pass gas)? Replies range from "Of course..." (dodo brain) to "men tend to pass a higher volume of gas than women--about 120 cc (cubic centimeters) per passage to just 90 cc for women" while "women have a higher concentration of the dreaded hydrogen sulfide in their outbursts, which makes their odor intensity greater." So now you know. (But unmentioned is the inflammatory test beloved by adolescents with cigarette lighters...)

"Why do Christian networks and shows feature people with really big hair and lots of makeup and gaudy, overdecorated sets?" I always wondered that myself. According to one guy ("MIKE, 42, Humanist gay male), the target audience seems to be "trailer park trash" from the Bible Belt "where big hair and tons of makeup seem to never go out of style." Professor Anson Shupe from Indiana University adds that the Trinity Broadcasting Network, etc. have "done their polls and market research, and they know what sells" and "The big hair and ornate sets have a certain appeal to these televangelists' biggest audience segment: lower-middle-class, middle-aged females."

One more: "Is it true that when women are together they talk in much more graphic, detailed and intimate terms about sex and their sexual partners than men do?" Answer: it depend on who you ask, but according to Milano's expert, Aline Zoldbrod, "I think men like to imagine women having all these intimate discussions about their sexual relationships, but women are as private as men." Hmm. Another truism of my youth blown to smithereens.

The book is divided into nine chapters from "COLOR-BLIND: Race and Ethnicity" to "ON THE JOB: Work." Within the chapters are sections headed by a question, followed by some answers from people who responded on the website (e.g., "DEBBIE K., 29, married female"), concluded with what Milano calls a "Y?Check" in which he cites an authority or two on the subject at hand (or in hand, as the case may be). Tacked on to the end of the chapters are some questions they are working on, with no answers yet.

And, yes, SIZE does matter. (But you knew that.)

Bottom line: adult, levelheaded and informative, mostly PC, but not overly so with some chuckles and some surprises.

I enjoyed reading this book. It is obvious that the author has selected the most sincere questions and responses from what must be a great collection of sticky material. Some topics are amusing, some heartbreaking, but all of them are honest.

Adding the opinion of experts on each topic provides a great summary, while still allowing the reader to ponder the question and arrive at his own conclusion, or at least arrive at a better understanding about persons different from himself.

We need this book, if for nothing else, than to open our minds to understanding, tolerance and acceptance.

This is an entertaining book, filled with different people's perceptions on race, sexuality and culture. The format is simple: A question is asked and various people answer the question based on their experience. At the end of each question an 'expert' answers the question putting closure on the topic.

I was vastly entertained by the subject of sexuality, race and ethnicity. (Although some questions were somewhat silly... ) A reader wonders why "White People" (a generalization in itself), smell like wet dogs when they get wet. Huh? Anyway myths such as this are quickly debunked. Thank God.

Several sections I found less interesting. The section on disabilities, age, and class (a social and not biological construct) seemed common knowledge or to have so many variables that I found it difficult to be interested. Age is also another widely variable category. Sometimes the questions seemed a little off-kilter such as: "How come it seems that Teenagers are afraid to take care of AIDS patients?" Huh? I've never heard or thought of this as being a perception of teenagers. Teens come with variable responsibility levels as do adults.

Overall an excellent book. Sure to educate one on both our perceived and real differences. This could only be improved with a few more 'widely wondered' questions and an omission of a few of the more obvious ones. High entertainment value.

This book exercises the most important part of the body -- the brain. It will stimulate your thinking about questions you have always wondered about, but were afraid to ask. I found myself laughing out loud, flinching with embarassment and saddened by our ignorance. Milano provides great balance by giving the reader both individual and expert opinions to our questions. I Can't Believe You Asked That! will contribute to your understanding of the concept of tolerance in our world today.

My brother passed me this book, and now I want to tell everyone I know about it. These are terrifying topics, many of which we wonder about but don't have the nerve to ask. Doesn't matter if you are looking at it to laugh-you will learn something. Not like from a text book, more like from talking to people, most of whom you'll never get to meet.

The material in the book speaks about his commitment to diversity and discussion, and knowing that he runs the yforum website shows it even more.