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Can't Buy My Love: How Advertising Changes the Way We Think and Feel [Paperback]

Mary Pipher , Jean Kilbourne
4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (33 customer reviews)

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Book Description

November 2, 2000
"When was the last time you felt this comfortable in a relationship?"

-- An ad for sneakers

"You can love it without getting your heart broken."

-- An ad for a car

"Until I find a real man, I'll settle for a real smoke."

-- A woman in a cigarette ad

Many advertisements these days make us feel as if we have an intimate, even passionate relationship with a product. But as Jean Kilbourne points out in this fascinating and shocking exposé, the dreamlike promise of advertising always leaves us hungry for more. We can never be satisfied, because the products we love cannot love us back.

Drawing upon her knowledge of psychology, media, and women's issues, Kilbourne offers nothing less than a new understanding of a ubiquitous phenomenon in our culture. The average American is exposed to over 3,000 advertisements a day and watches three years' worth of television ads over the course of a lifetime. Kilbourne paints a gripping portrait of how this barrage of advertising drastically affects young people, especially girls, by offering false promises of rebellion, connection, and control. She also offers a surprising analysis of the way advertising creates and then feeds an addictive mentality that often continues throughout adulthood.


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Can't Buy My Love: How Advertising Changes the Way We Think and Feel + Twenty Ads That Shook the World: The Century's Most Groundbreaking Advertising and How It Changed Us All
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Editorial Reviews

Review

Susan Faludi author of Backlash Jean Kilbourne's work is pioneering and crucial to the dialogue of one of the most underexplored, yet most powerful, realms of American culture: advertising. We owe her a great debt.

Self magazine Backlash meets The Beauty Myth....a scathing attack on the powers that tell us what, how much, when and why to buy.

About the Author

Jean Kilbourne,Ed.D, is internationally recognized for her pioneering work on alcohol and tobacco advertising and the image of women in advertising. A widely published writer and speaker who has twice been named Lecturer of the Year by the National Association for Campus Activities, she is best known for her award-winning documentaries, Killing Us Softly, Slim Hopes, and Pack of Lies. She lives in Boston, Massachusetts.

Product Details

  • Paperback: 368 pages
  • Publisher: Free Press (November 2, 2000)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0684866005
  • ISBN-13: 978-0684866000
  • Product Dimensions: 6.3 x 0.9 x 9.5 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (33 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #96,473 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

I encourage you to buy and read this book. Giancarlo Nicoli  |  13 reviewers made a similar statement
What really destroys the book, in my opinion, is Kilbourne's almost complete lack of humor. Whitney  |  2 reviewers made a similar statement
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
105 of 109 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Save your soul: read this book! June 9, 2002
Format:Paperback
I encourage you to buy and read this book. It's a source of reason, enlightenment, passion, love. It's meaningful, revealing. I read it in a few days, subtracting time to my other activities. Each time it has been difficult to stop reading and close the book. If you are going to read only one book this year, choose this one.

This book is focused on a few, fundamental, issues (excerpts are between "quotation marks").
1 - It explains that advertising works. Most people think they are not influenced by advertising. But advertising works best precisely because people don't think it works on them.
"If you are like most people, you think that advertising has no influence on you. This is what advertisers want you to believe. But, if that were true, why would companies spend over $200 billion a year on advertising? Why would they be willing to spend over $250,000 to produce an average television commercial and another $250,000 to air it? If they want to broadcast their commercial during the Super Bowl, they will gladly spend over a million dollars to produce it and over one and a half million to air it. After all, they might have the kind of success that Victoria's Secret did during the 1999 Super Bowl. When they paraded bra-and-panty-clad models across TV screens for a mere thirty seconds, one million people turned away from the game to log on to the Website promoted in the ad. No influence?"

2 - It makes you understand that the message mass media and advertising repeat us moment by moment ("The average American is exposed to at least three thousand ads every day") is that happiness comes from products. Alas, products are only things: no matter how much we love them, they won't love us back. By the way, didn't you ask why - in the car commercials - there are all those cars entering tunnels?
We are sold models impossible to follow - and just wrong. But effortlessly advertised: you are made up to think they're true. Thus, a sense of strain comes. I think that many problems our society faces (high divorce rate, violence, alcoholism, drugs) come from this split. I'm a pharmacist: it's amazing how many tranquilizers I sell every day.

3 - It lets you to realize that advertising often turns people into objects.
"It is becoming clearer that this objectification has consequences, one of which is the effect that it has on sexuality and desire. Sex in advertising and the media is often criticized from a puritanical perspective - there's too much of it, it's too blatant, it will encourage kids to be promiscuous, and so forth. But sex in advertising has far more to do with trivializing sex than promoting it, with narcissism than with promiscuity, with consuming than with connecting. The problem is not that it is sinful, but that it is synthetic and cynical. (...) We never see eroticized images of older people, imperfect people, people with disabilities. The gods have sex, the rest of us watch - and judge our own imperfect sex lives against the fantasy of constant desire and sexual fulfilment portrayed in the media. (...) We can never measure up. Inevitably, this affects our self-images and radically distorts reality. "You have the right to remain sexy", says an ad featuring a beautiful young woman, her legs spread wide, but the subtext is "only if you look like this". And she is an object - available, exposed, essentially passive. She has the right to remain sexy, but not the right to be actively sexual."

4 - Did you know that we are a product? Mass media sell us to advertisers.
"Make no mistake: The primary purpose of the mass media is to sell audiences to advertisers. We are the product. Although people are much more sophisticated about advertising now than even a few years ago, most are still shocked to learn this."

"Through focus groups and depth interviews, psychological researchers can zero in on very specific target audiences - and their leaders. "Buy this 24-year-old and get all his friends absolutely free", proclaims an ad for MTV directed to advertisers. MTV presents itself publicly as a place for rebels and nonconformists. Behind the scenes, however, it tells potential advertisers that its viewers are lemmings who will buy whatever they are told to buy."

5 - I think this book is also valuable because it re-states the ethical principle that there are no shortcuts to riches, no shortcuts to happiness. There are no free lunches.
"Today the promise is that we can change our lives instantly, effortlessly - by winning the lottery, selecting the right mutual fund, having a fashion makeover, losing weight, having tighter abs, buying the right car or soft drink. It is this belief that such transformation is possible that drives us to keep dieting, to buy more stuff, to read fashion magazines that give us the same information over and over again."

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Was this review helpful to you?
26 of 28 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
I loved this book when it was originally published at Deadly Persuasion. Be careful when ordering...in TINY letters on the cover it says "Originally published as Deadly Persuasion."
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16 of 18 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Must read January 19, 2004
Format:Paperback
This book should be required reading for every female high school freshman. Every woman who has dieted, picked herself apart for her appearance or stared longingly at a magazine layout needs to read this book. It is such a fantastic book. You know you are living under myths and lies to a certain extent but just how many is amazing. I love all the excerpts about how magazines try to pull in major advertising dollars. I have recommened to all of my friends who have young female children. I wonder how much smarter I could have been if this had entered my life as a younger woman.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
4.0 out of 5 stars Enlighteningi
I have always known that advertising had an impact on society as well as individuals but didn't see the details. Read more
Published 19 days ago by woody
5.0 out of 5 stars brilliant book
brilliant book mocking of modern over-consumerism..the excessive never enough, self-destructive ways that are blatantly spotted by the advertisers as total weakness.. Read more
Published 5 months ago by David Ip
2.0 out of 5 stars A feminist and abolitionist blog masquerading as a book
This is a book that could have been and should have been alot better but suffers from the author's insistence on us taking her word for much of her analysis rather than providing... Read more
Published 13 months ago by Prentice Reid
5.0 out of 5 stars The Sinister Truth About Advertising
We can't set foot out of the house without exposure to advertising, even if we don't watch TV, use the Internet, or read fashion magazines. Read more
Published on July 22, 2010 by susan e. wiget
5.0 out of 5 stars Great Book! Great Author!
I am a big fan of Jean Kilbourne and her work. This book is great and insightful. If you liked her "killing us softly" presentation then you will love this book too. Read more
Published on June 14, 2010 by Lisa Braun
2.0 out of 5 stars Book seemed over-zealous
I bought this book for part of a book club reading list. And to be honest I just never really got behind the authors argument. Read more
Published on November 20, 2009 by Jennifer M. Ross
5.0 out of 5 stars The Pernicious Effects of Advertising
There is no greater expert on the subject of how aggressive marketing can degrade the quality of a culture than Jean Kilbourne. Read more
Published on August 9, 2009 by S.A. Alenthony
4.0 out of 5 stars Anti-Comsumerist Cocktail Party Converstaion Piece
I like the book. It is perfect material for an anti-consumerist like myself and a quick lesson in the mind-messing of marketing. Read more
Published on January 15, 2009 by Want to be Smart
5.0 out of 5 stars Can't Buy My Love
This book is a critical review of the approach advertisers use to promote their products. The author presents the attractive messages provided, and then goes on to describe the... Read more
Published on September 23, 2008 by William M. Cross
5.0 out of 5 stars EVERYONE SHOULD READ THIS BOOK
My title says it all. It's very informative and allows the reader to understand why she/he thinks about and responds to american culture in certain ways. Very eye opening.
Published on January 24, 2007 by N. Mills
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