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If You Can't Live Without Me, Why Aren't You Dead Yet?! Paperback – October 9, 2002


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Editorial Reviews

From Library Journal

Reading Heimel is like listening to a standup comic. Her delivery is snappy with zinger after zinger; her topics are contemporary and her language is hip. Author of Sex Tips for Girls ( LJ 6/15/83) and But Enough About You (S. & S., 1986), Heimel writes about codependency, PMS, and the eternal conflict between men and women. Her humor is cutting, and her language, to put it mildly, is strong. For these reasons, she may have less of a broad appeal than Erma Bombeck. Still, her spoofs of the modern human condition are right on target, so this is a book to consider carefully. Libraries that already have her other books may want this one as well.
- Carol Spiel man Lezak, General Learning Corp., Northbrook, Ill.
Copyright 1991 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 240 pages
  • Publisher: Grove Press (October 9, 2002)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0802139507
  • ISBN-13: 978-0802139504
  • Product Dimensions: 0.8 x 5.5 x 8.2 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 9.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (9 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,295,986 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

27 of 29 people found the following review helpful By M. Beyer on October 6, 1997
Format: Paperback
Someone bought me a copy of "If You Can't Live Without Me, Why Aren't You Dead Yet?" for a gift. The title immediately made me smile, so I read it. The contents didn't disappoint.
Heimel writes about women, PMS, and even compares differing reactions to porno movies depending on the sex of the viewer. (No pun intended.) The book is hysterical - I've read the list of things men want out loud to many people, but while the subjects are written humorously, they aren't exactly untrue....
So laugh if you like (I know I did), but according to my own independant poll, men really do want a lady in the living room and a sex-starved tiger in the bedroom!
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7 of 7 people found the following review helpful By G. Jordan on June 3, 2001
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
This hilarious book hides some hard hitting truths about our relationships, insecurities, doubts & regrets, and helped me get through a nasty breakup without going back. Every time I felt tempted to call him, I'd read a chapter & be laughing too hard at seeing the ridiculous nature of my relationships boldly outlined with laugh-at-myself-and-heal humor. After a breakup is when I feel the most depressed, taking life way too seriously! This book had me laughing the whole way, or smirking, chuckling, snorting, almost-peed-myself, non-stop, nodding-my-head, giggling. Whenever I'd get upset about a man, I'd read a few pages & it was like seeing the guy naked to the core--and myself too (because we're not so innocent either)! I now have the whole set of books this author has written, the humor is timeless & there will always be breakups or jerks who make my hair stand on end, and this book helps release the pressure of taking life too darn seriously.
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5 of 6 people found the following review helpful By Rachael on November 10, 2001
Format: Paperback
Cynthia Heimel's "If You Can't Live Without Me, Why Aren't You Dead Yet?" is a collection of her columns from the Village Voice, Playboy, and Cosmo. The book is half painful wisdom, half male-oriented feminist anger, and half fall-on-the-floor-laugh-out-loud comedy. If you think that doesn't add up right, you haven't taken into account that anger can be funny, and sometimes even wise. The columns date from the 1980's and are totally New York oriented, so if you don't think the Big Apple is the center of the universe you may find yourself annoyed, and the discussion of drug use will profoundly disturb some. But Heimel's not out to offend--she's just an urban divorced mother trying to live a worthwhile life. She's caught in the crossfire of mindless masculinity and rabid feminism, looking for a safe place for a love life, a job, and a family. Her most moving columns are about her son, and "Childhood is Powerful" should be required reading for prospective parents. In it, she talks about guilt, and how honesty with your child is more important than parental authority; and how limits must not be placed on your child in order to create that authority. "As much as love, empathy cures all evils." And "For Rent: Empty Nest" is a tear-and-smile inducing bit of writing that will resonate with every mother. "If You Can't Live Without Me, Why Aren't You Dead Yet?" isn't a perfect book, but it's bite-sized slices of life are well worth the price of admission, especially if your date is paying!
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Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Oh my stars,I've owned this book since it was first published.When I feel just a bit blue or put out with life,I pick it up and read a chapter.Cynthias' books were published before the awful Be a Bitch self help genre and it shows.She wants us to get together without having to play silly games.She actually treats men and women equally in her essays but she's got a bit of an axe to grind concerning men and how they sometimes act.In an essay called "She wants money?'she describes "professional girls" and amateur girls' .The pros go to the beauty parlor every week,they were the 4' heels,they have that perfect pearlized eye shadow,while the amateur may have a run in her stocking,got to busy to get to the spa or stylist last week,and the mascara is smudged.The amateur girl is a perfectly lovely women who will be with you no matter how much money you have.But the men don't notice her because they are all circled around the pro with not a hair out of place.Guess what guys, that beauty parlor costs alot of money and she wants payback on her investment.As an amateur girl myself who sometimes never got noticed,I say 3 cheers to Cynthia Heimel.!
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By mcclean on April 17, 2013
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Captures the times and the people very well with some really funny insights. Apparently, many of her generation actually were high at the time.
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