Cynthia Heimel has been described by the Chicago Tribune as "perhaps our funniest war correspondent on the war between the sexes"; her wisdom on dating includes such gems as: "My new rule is to never believe a person is interested until you feel his tongue down your throat." If You Can't Live Without Me, Why Aren't You Dead Yet?! shows Heimel at her wicked best. When sex pales in comparison to watching sports, when ostensibly adult men still don't understand why women need to work, when city-chic black and arugula salads have been taken over by Middle America, Cynthia Heimel is there to remind us that if we can't remake the world (or even the loved ones who are driving us crazy), we can at least laugh at it. Like a hip Erma Bombeck or a Dorothy Parker for today, she is an antidote to an absurd world for smart, sane women. If You Can't Live Without Me, Why Aren't You Dead Yet?! -- now a national best-seller -- has caused The Boston Globe to hail Cynthia Hiemel as "a goddess and a role model." "Brilliant, ballsy ... wise and loving ... She makes me feel militantly on my own side. What pleasure; what relief." -- Mademoiselle
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Editorial Reviews
From Library Journal
Reading Heimel is like listening to a standup comic. Her delivery is snappy with zinger after zinger; her topics are contemporary and her language is hip. Author of Sex Tips for Girls ( LJ 6/15/83) and But Enough About You (S. & S., 1986), Heimel writes about codependency, PMS, and the eternal conflict between men and women. Her humor is cutting, and her language, to put it mildly, is strong. For these reasons, she may have less of a broad appeal than Erma Bombeck. Still, her spoofs of the modern human condition are right on target, so this is a book to consider carefully. Libraries that already have her other books may want this one as well.
- Carol Spiel man Lezak, General Learning Corp., Northbrook, Ill.
Copyright 1991 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
- Carol Spiel man Lezak, General Learning Corp., Northbrook, Ill.
Copyright 1991 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
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25 of 27 people found the following review helpful
By M. Beyer
Format:Paperback
Someone bought me a copy of "If You Can't Live Without Me, Why Aren't You Dead Yet?" for a gift. The title immediately made me smile, so I read it. The contents didn't disappoint.
Heimel writes about women, PMS, and even compares differing reactions to porno movies depending on the sex of the viewer. (No pun intended.) The book is hysterical - I've read the list of things men want out loud to many people, but while the subjects are written humorously, they aren't exactly untrue....
So laugh if you like (I know I did), but according to my own independant poll, men really do want a lady in the living room and a sex-starved tiger in the bedroom!
6 of 6 people found the following review helpful
By G. Jordan
Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase
This hilarious book hides some hard hitting truths about our relationships, insecurities, doubts & regrets, and helped me get through a nasty breakup without going back. Every time I felt tempted to call him, I'd read a chapter & be laughing too hard at seeing the ridiculous nature of my relationships boldly outlined with laugh-at-myself-and-heal humor. After a breakup is when I feel the most depressed, taking life way too seriously! This book had me laughing the whole way, or smirking, chuckling, snorting, almost-peed-myself, non-stop, nodding-my-head, giggling. Whenever I'd get upset about a man, I'd read a few pages & it was like seeing the guy naked to the core--and myself too (because we're not so innocent either)! I now have the whole set of books this author has written, the humor is timeless & there will always be breakups or jerks who make my hair stand on end, and this book helps release the pressure of taking life too darn seriously.
13 of 18 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
I really wanted to like this book. With a great title like that, I expected it to be a comic look at the relations between men and women, likely coming hard down on the side of women. Instead, it is a mismash of New York angst mixed with the fading regret of yet another runaway from the 60s. In short, choppy doses (each section was originally published as individual essays in Playboy, Cosmopolitan, or The Village Voice), Heimel raves against the world, but not of it ever is funny enough to make you laugh out loud or close enough for that frission of understanding to occur. Oh, you might be able to identify with her if you are a single mother of a teenage son who supports herself by writing in Manhattan, but I wouldn't take bets on it.
The essays are grouped into sections labled "The Times," "Women," "Men," "Women and Men," and "The Writer's Life." The best stuff is in "The Times" such as "Notes on Black" about how all the trendy people who were the originators of the black look are conspiring to forgo it for another color until all the sheep quit wearing it, then they'll go back. The worst stuff is in "The Writer's Life," which should instead have been entitled "Cynthia Heimel's Life" because I saw nothing there that resembled any other writer I know.
I guess I looked in the wrong place. I had noticed that I had a lot of comic stuff by men on my shelf, but nothing by a woman, so I browsed the shelves and came up with this. I'm not necessarily a fan of the comic essay (Dave Barry probably being the prime example of it today, and whom I can read but I never feel like purchasing a whole volume of his stuff). In essays, I tend to like humorous political commentary (say Molly Ivins or P.J. O'Rourke) better than Andy Rooney style essays on the little things of life. Instead I should have picked up comic fiction by a woman, I guess--except I'm not aware of any. Zora Neale Huston? Anyway, with due apologies to Heimel, I can live without her.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
4.0 out of 5 stars
Great insight into how things were and, sadly, still tend to be.
Captures the times and the people very well with some really funny insights. Apparently, many of her generation actually were high at the time.
Published 1 month ago by mcclean
5.0 out of 5 stars
Bought it because the title made me Laugh Out Loud
...kept it because the book did too! Fun, easy, thought provoking, good to have stashed in the purse for a train ride or a nice afternoon read.
Published 21 months ago by texas turtle
4.0 out of 5 stars
A slightly uneven book of feminist humor
Heimel is brilliant. I do love her work. Her essay on "Clothes and PMS", included in this book, stands as one of the funniest things I have ever read ("I am a... Read more
Published on June 5, 2002 by Cas
4.0 out of 5 stars
The Greatest Title Ever
Cynthia Heimel's "If You Can't Live Without Me, Why Aren't You Dead Yet?" is a collection of her columns from the Village Voice, Playboy, and Cosmo. Read more
Published on November 10, 2001 by Rachael
4.0 out of 5 stars
Funny, but now a bit outdated
I read this book just recently and laughed at many of the sections. It's very funny for the young and modern woman. Beats down some stereotypes, which is always good.
Published on August 9, 2001
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