Captains Outrageous (Hap and Leonard Series) [Audiobook, CD, Unabridged] [Audio CD]

Joe R. Lansdale (Author), Phil Gigante (Reader)

Book Description

Publication Date: November 10, 2009 | Series: Hap and Leonard Series (Book 6)

Hap Collins and Leonard Pine find mucho trouble, this time in Mexico, when they come face to face with a nudist mobster, his seven-foot strong-arm, an octogenarian knife-touting fisherman, and, somehow, an armadillo. When Hap Collins saves the life of his employer’s daughter, he is rewarded with a Caribbean cruise, and he convinces his best friend, Leonard Pine, to come along. However, when the cruise sails on without them, stranding them in Playa del Carmen with nothing but their misfortune and Leonard’s ridiculous new hat, the two quickly find themselves drawn into a vicious web of sordid violence. When they return to East Texas, they find that trouble has beaten them back, and when trouble’s around it doesn’t take long for Hap and Leonard to find it. “A storyteller in the great American tradition of Ambrose Bierce and Mark Twain.” — The Boston Globe “Lansdale reaches the reader on a gut level. . . . A terrific writer.” — Ellery Queen’s Mystery Magazine

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Edgar-winner Lansdale's (The Bottoms) fifth Hap and Leonard mystery marvel is sure to keep you laughing amid the carnage. No good deed goes unpunished, especially when Hap Collins becomes a reluctant hero down in East Texas while working as a security guard for a chicken plant. After rescuing a local girl from a savage beating, Hap receives a big reward. Problem is while on the outs with his girlfriend, Brett he decides to use some of the reward money on a sea cruise shared with his best friend, Leonard Pine. After all, the closest Hap's family had ever come to a cruise "was a rowboat down the Sabine River with a fishing pole." So off to the Caribbean the fearless pair go, only to run smack dab into the usual heap of trouble. Not only does the food stink, but on their first tourist stop to check out some Mayan ruins, they miss the boat back to the ship. Stranded in Playa del Carmen, they run into muggers and, aided by a mysterious old fisherman and his troubled daughter, get caught in a sticky web of intrigue, violence and chicanery. As the body count mounts, they find no place is safe, not even East Texas. The two friends ultimately go back to Mexico to take care of some business they're not apt to soon forget. Lansdale's quick wit is in top form, and his raunchy, sometimes ridiculous and yet so lovable heroes continue to amuse. Take this one along on your next cruise.

Copyright 2001 Cahners Business Information, Inc.

--This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From Booklist

Hap Collins is guarding chickens at a poultry plant when he saves the life of the plant owner's daughter. As a reward, the grateful father sends Hap on a luxury cruise for two to Mexico. Because Brett, the love of Hap's life, isn't speaking to him, Hap takes his best buddy, Leonard Pine, the genre's only gay, black, tough-guy sidekick. Left behind in Mexico when they miss a ferry, the friends are assaulted and Leonard is stabbed. An old Mexican fisherman nurses Leonard back to health while his daughter entertains Hap. Feeling indebted to their guardian angels, the pair attempts to help the fisherman out of a little trouble with a loan shark. When things go horribly wrong, Hap and Leonard embark on a deadly mission of revenge. Lansdale's latest isn't up to The Bottoms [BKL Je 1 & 15 00], his Edgar-winning stand-alone thriller, but it's typical Hap-and-Leonard fare, which means it's funny, violent, peppered with profanity, oozing testosterone, and ultimately very satisfying. The repartee between Hap and Leonard tramples all over any standard of political correctness, but it's full of wit and outrageously entertaining. Wes Lukowsky
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Audio CD
• Publisher: Brilliance Audio on CD Unabridged; Unabridged edition (November 10, 2009)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1423384504
• ISBN-13: 978-1423384502
• Product Dimensions: 7.1 x 5.4 x 1.5 inches
• Shipping Weight: 6.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (23 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #3,417,980 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Joe R. Lansdale is the author of over thirty novels and numerous short stories. His work has appeared in national anthologies, magazines, and collections, as well as numerous foreign publications. He has written for comics, television, film, newspapers, and Internet sites. His work has been collected in eighteen short-story collections, and he has edited or co-edited over a dozen anthologies. He has received the Edgar Award, eight Bram Stoker Awards, the Horror Writers Association Lifetime Achievement Award, the British Fantasy Award, the Grinzani Cavour Prize for Literature, the Herodotus Historical Fiction Award, the Inkpot Award for Contributions to Science Fiction and Fantasy, and many others. His novella Bubba Hotep was adapted to film by Don Coscarelli, starring Bruce Campbell and Ossie Davis. His story "Incident On and Off a Mountain Road" was adapted to film for Showtime's "Masters of Horror." He is currently co-producing several films, among them The Bottoms, based on his Edgar Award-winning novel, with Bill Paxton and Brad Wyman, and The Drive-In, with Greg Nicotero. He is Writer In Residence at Stephen F. Austin State University, and is the founder of the martial arts system Shen Chuan: Martial Science and its affiliate, Shen Chuan Family System. He is a member of both the United States and International Martial Arts Halls of Fame. He lives in Nacogdoches, Texas with his wife, dog, and two cats.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

14 of 18 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars What the "R." stand for..., March 18, 2002

By 

C. Fletcher (California) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Captains Outrageous: A Hap Collins and Leonard Pine Novel (Hardcover)

What does the "R." in Joe R. Lansdale stand for? I've been reading this phenomenal East Texas writer for almost fifteen years now, and I still don't know. I suppose I could click the mouse a few times and get right back to you with the real answer, the right answer. But where's the fun in that? Isn't it better to imagine than it is to know? Back when I was a kid, when only dead flies were on the web, you didn't have any choice but to imagine. So here goes...

After reading Joe R. Lansdale's sixth Hap `n' Leonard novel, "Captains Outrageous," I'd guess the R. might stand for refreshingly-readable (sounds like something made by the Keebler elves). Then again, it could just as easily stand for rip-roarin'ly-raunchy or rhapsodically-R-rated. What I'm getting at is that reading a Joe R. Lansdale novel is like going river-rafting through the rapids or roller-skating on the roof. You're in for a wild ride whenever you pick up a Lansdale book, so you better make sure your seatbelt is good and fastened.

"Captains Outrageous" is maybe the wildest-plotted yet of the six novels comprising Lansdale's East Texas series starring Hap Collins and Leonard Pine. Hap and Leonard are two well-meaning ne'er-do-wells living in the small East Texas town of LaBorde. Hap is white and straight, Leonard black and gay, but they're the fastest of friends-brothers without the burden of family. And yet, for some reason, whenever they get together, trouble is never far behind.

This time out, Hap seems to have some good luck shine on him for once. While leaving his job as a security guard at a chicken plant one night, the martial-arts-savvy Hap successfully interrupts a rape/murder-in-progress. The would-be victim's father is well-to-do and insists on Hap accepting a ... reward for his chivalry.

With some money in the bank, eager for some time away from the chickens, Hap decides to take a vacation. And who better to ask along than his best friend Leonard? Hap's good luck begins to sour somewhere around the time he and Leonard get on the bad side of their budget cruise ship's buffet bouncer. They soon find themselves stranded somewhere in Mexico with no way to get home. Things get considerably more complicated after they're nearly murdered and then rescued by a machete-wielding fisherman and his bad news femme-fatale daughter. Hap `n' Leonard then get themselves embroiled in the dealings of a dangerous Mexican mobster who also happens to be a staunch nudist.

The wildness of plot and fierceness of humor that have become hallmarks of Lansdale's writing are out in full force in Captains Outrageous. Equally prevalent are the attention to character and richness of voice that keep Lansdale's books a few notches up from being merely entertaining (not that that's the worst of crimes).

Lansdale has always reminded me something of Mark Twain. Throw in bits and pieces of an old "Love Boat," some Hemingway à la "Old Man and the Sea," and you have an idea of what to expect from "Captains Outrageous." My only complaint is that the second half of the novel isn't nearly as inventive as the first. There's a restrictive symmetry to the book's revenge plot that makes the story arc more of a parabola than an ascending staircase. Still, "Captains Outrageous" is an immensely entertaining read. It's wildly funny, consistently well written, and deserves to earn Joe R. Lansdale new legions of fans.

You don't have to have read any of Lansdale's earlier Hap `n' Leonard novels to enjoy this one, but you'll definitely want to get caught up afterward. So if you happen to like your books entertaining and well written, you'd be remiss to miss out on this rare and rewarding writer.

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Lives up to most of the hype, April 26, 2006

By 

Bonner '62 (Virginia) - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)   

Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: Captains Outrageous (Paperback)

I was looking for a mystery with a comic touch and this delivered. It is my first Landsdale book and I plan to try others in the Collins and Pine series. I actually laughed out loud several times. The author keeps the story moving and even though the main characters have some superhero characteristics you can ignore that and sit back and enjoy the fast moving story. A realistic take on Mexico doesn't hurt. All in all a good read.

6 of 8 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Hap and Leonard settle down?, September 27, 2001

By 

Crime_Dog (NY, NY United States) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Captains Outrageous: A Hap Collins and Leonard Pine Novel (Hardcover)

Yeah right!

Another fantastic, can't put down tale from the master, Joe R. Lansdale. Brothers to the end, Hap and Leonard go on a vacation and ponder advancing age, life and love. Being Hap and Leonard you know that mayhem will have to follow. All the favorites are back for this one; Charlie, Hanson, Jim Bob Luke, Brett and even Bob the armadillo, and the mix is explosive, hilarious and so uniquely Lansdale.

You gotta read this book!