236 of 242 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
Believe it or not, 'Captivating' is a blessing., October 9, 2005
I just spent the last 10 minutes reading or skimming through the 60-some reviews on here. Interesting to note that most people either love or hate the book. Personally I love it. When I read I find myself tearing up over various issues that fully resonate with my heart. I also promise you that I am not your typical 'gushy', chick-flick watching female. To be honest, i'm much more tomboyish and struggle to be feminine instead of 'tough'. But I believe God plants in woman many universal core desires and that is what 'Captivating' addresses. I give this book 4 stars and am going to explain why by addressing issues OTHER people had with the book's content.
A warning, this could be long. I love to write. I beg your indulgence.
First off..the title of the book, 'Captivating'. I saw one review that claimed this title is negative and implies men being captives of women. How misunderstood! In my evening Bible-reading, I came across this verse in Proverbs(5:18.19) 'May you rejoice in the wife of your youth...may you ever be CAPTIVATED by her love.' So yes, for the record, being captivating is very Biblical.
Secondly, comments about the 'over-use' of movie references and pop-culture. I've noted that much of our Christian culture has always been AFRAID of popular entertainment. I agree that there is a great necessity for discernment, but at the same time, we must address society WHERE IT IS. This book does not seek to REPLACE the Bible, but to encourage us to see God in everyday things. How many of us never go to the movies or listen to the radio or read classic literature? very few indeed. Is it really so terrible to draw truth from fiction? Fiction is not synonmous with lies, yet some still chose to believe this. God is the author of our creativity..our desire to spin tales for entertainment. We shouldn't shun that.
In order to avoid writing a book instead of a book review, I'm just going to address one final concern..one that holds more reason for concern. Eldredge's books do tend to lack 'meat'. Not to say they are faulty -- the books NEVER make claim to replace the Bible or other quality non-fiction. All i'm saying is that it's true that while a huge portion of his books will be easy to relate to, sometimes one walks away being unsure of answers. And this is my main concern and the reason for 4 stars instead of 5. However, if this book is studied WITH the Bible, I believe that it will be a blessing and a source of healing instead of emotional 'fluff'.
This book will likely resonate with certain personality types more than others. In my experience, it touches more of the expressive/creative types than those who are blatantly practical. That's ok. There is no one cure-all book, and 'Captivating' is NOT for everyone. However it does speak great truth about hurt and healing to those who will listen. And I encourage women and their husbands,boyfriends, brothers in Christ to read this book without prejudice and to see what God teaches.
God bless.
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121 of 127 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
Message from a skeptic...., December 1, 2005
I decided to read this book because I'd been told by multiple people that I respected as Godly women to read this. And I was given the warning- you might hate it at first, but get through the first few chapters and see what you think. I was skeptical, and reading the first few chapters I wanted to chuck the book across the room. I'm far from a Bibical scholar, but I value Scripture a lot and I think we're called to be skeptical of people's interpreations.
I do not think that John and Staci Eldredge have everything right. But I think "Captivating" speaks to our need for God to meet us deeply, personally and intimately. I hear many people saying- I don't relate because I don't need someone to rescue me. Well then, why do you need Jesus? I think I believe a lie that "God loves sinners- His grace is sufficent for sinners- sinners need Jesus to save them...but now, I'm a Christian (a saved sinner) and yeah, I still need grace and He loves me, but I'm no longer in need of rescue." God wants more for us then this- read Romans 5- read 5:8 (while we were still sinners Christ died for us- AMAZING)...now keep reading- it doesn't end with salvation...Paul says "HOW MUCH MORE" multiple times in the next few verses talking about what God has FOR us after our conversion. It never stops being about God rescuing us, or our need.
What I love about this book is that it does beat the idea that God loves us. And you know what- I don't think we ever really learn this lesson and need to stop hearing it. This is not a Barney "God loves me" now let's all run and give eachother hugs- it is learning that God's love is totally life transforming. HE changes us- and not because we are this problem He has to deal with (which I think is how many people see sanctification)- but because He loves us more than we can imagine! "Captivating" forces us to our continual need...that's not a comfortable place...I think that is part of why I wanted to chuck the book across the room. I don't want to need anyone- I am a strong woman, right? Oh, wait, I am broken...we all are!! This book is not for low-self-esteem women- it is for any women who is willing to consider that she is broken (and maybe more than she wants to admit).
I think the Eldredges are bold, and sometimes with being bold, you miss sometimes, but I think the message behind this book- that we are ALL broken and in need of rescue, and that God loves us in our brokeness and that He cares about our redeemtion beyond our salvation because we are of immense value to Him- is a message worth being bold about. I think they lack in some theological arguments, but I think their core message is Bibical- very Bibical- but I'm not sure we always want to hear it.
I advocate reading this book. Read it as a skeptic, but be willing to actually consider their argument. Don't accept everything you read in ANY book...only the Bible is God's Word. Test things. Test their arguments against Scripture- see the flaws. But don't let your skeptism harden you to also hearing a message that might bring you some amazing freedom.
Sorry this is long- these are my thoughts.
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73 of 79 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
Balm for a woman's soul, May 2, 2005
"As a new Christian, the first book I picked up on godly femininity I threw across the room. I never picked it up again. In the twenty-five years since, I have only read a few I could whole-heartedly recommend. The rest drive me crazy. Their messages to women make me feel as though, 'You are not the woman you ought to be --- but if you do the following ten things, you can make the grade.' They are, by and large, soul-killing. But femininity cannot be prescribed in a formula."
So begins (or very nearly begins) CAPTIVATING, written by John and Stasi Eldredge. The "I" in question is Stasi, but it's her husband John you are more likely to be familiar with. He's the author of THE SACRED ROMANCE, WILD AT HEART, and a number of other books that promote an adventurous and cathartic brand of Christianity. Whereas WILD AT HEART tailored that message for men, CAPTIVATING looks to tailor the message for women and is likely to have similar bestselling results.
But even though femininity cannot be prescribed in a formula as the introduction says, CAPTIVATING's premise is that there is an essence that God has given to every woman. "We share something deep and true, down in our hearts," Stasi writes. And it's this universal feminine heart that CAPTIVATING hopes to expose, heal, develop, and celebrate.
That this feminine heart needs healing is not hard for the authors to evidence. "Every woman I've ever met feels it --- something deeper than just the sense of failing at what she does. An underlying, gut feeling of failing at who she is. I am not enough and I am too much at the same time. Not pretty enough, not thin enough, not kind enough, not gracious enough, not disciplined enough. But too emotional, too needy, too sensitive, too strong, too opinionated, too messy. The result is Shame, the universal companion of women. It haunts us, nipping at our heels, feeing on our deepest fear that we will end up abandoned and alone," writes Stasi.
If that statement doesn't hold water with you, don't even bother picking up this book because it's an observation (and a foundational one for this book) that's only anecdotally supported. If you don't already believe it, this book isn't going to convince you it's true. But if this being both not enough and too much at the same time strikes a chord with you, as it does for me, you'll want to read on.
When you do so, you will learn that every woman's heart longs for three things: to be romanced, an irreplaceable role in a great adventure, and beauty to unveil. It's worth noting that in WILD AT HEART John Eldredge writes that every man's heart longs for three things as well: a battle to fight, adventure, and a beauty to rescue. Isn't that nice of God to pre-load both male and female hearts with desires that fit nicely in parallel three-point outlines?
Snark aside, CAPTIVATING contains some truly moving stories of women, their anguish, and their beautiful blossomings into whole-heartedness. I especially appreciated a section about emotional promiscuity among young single men and women. And as in the books that John authored alone (or with best friend Brent Curtis), CAPTIVATING's imagery is steeped in nature, also something that I personally appreciate. I feel the closest to God under a West Texas night sky where the stars glitter like so many princess-cut diamonds (though admittedly, the site of Chicago's skyline under a full moon as viewed from Lake Shore Drive has been known to do a number on me too).
The breathlessly romantic tone of CAPTIVATING will alienate some. But of greater concern to me is that, while Scripture is sprinkled around liberally, the real source material here for making sweeping statements about the needs of women is literature, movies, music, and nostalgia. And while all of these are beautiful landscapes to explore and traverse, given that they often offer potent glimpses of Truth, they aren't necessarily meant to be our spiritual base camps.
Having said that, CAPTIVATING surely will be a balm for the souls of many women. And if you and/or the man in your life is a fan of John Eldredge's previous books, don't miss it.
--- Reviewed by Lisa Ann Cockrel
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