Care To Make Love In That Gross Little Space Between Cars?: A Believer Book of Advice (Vintage) [Paperback]

The Believer (Author), Judd Apatow (Introduction), Patton Oswalt (Introduction)

Book Description

Release date: March 6, 2012 | Series: Vintage

The Believer magazine presents a compendium of advice from producers, writers, and actors of The Daily Show, Saturday Night Live, Parks and Recreation, Late Show with David Letterman, The Hangover, and The Colbert Report, along with other musicians, cartoonists, New Yorker writers, and those similarly unqualified to offer guidance.
 
Here Amy Sedaris describes the perfect murder for unwanted hermit crabs—you will need a piece of meat and a brick. Simon Rich explains how to avoid being found dead in your underwear by firemen—buy some long johns. Zach Galifianakis provides insight into how he changed his name without a social security card—he just started calling himself Adam Zapple, and it stuck. Bob Saget finally illuminates what “friends with benefits” really means—a nonsexual relationship wherein your ex makes monetary deposits into your bank account. 

Contributors include:
 
Rob Baedeker, Anne Beatts, Elizabeth Beckwith, Jerri Blank, Roz Chast, Louis C.K., Mike Doughty, Dave Eggers, Rich Fulcher, Zach Galifianakis, Dan Guterman, Anthony Jeselnik, Julie Klausner, Lisa Lampanelli, Nick Hornby, Sam Lipsyte, Liam Lynch, Merrill Markoe, Rose McGowan, Misc. Canadian rock musicians, Laraine Newman, The Pleasure Syndicate, Bob Powers, Simon Rich, Bob Saget, George Saunders, Kristen Schaal, Paul Scheer, Amy Sedaris, Allison Silverman, Paul Simms, Brendon Small, Jerry Stahl, Scott Thompson, Fred Willard, Cintra Wilson, Weird Al Yankovic, and Alan Zweibel

Editorial Reviews

Review

“I am an advice columnist, which means I get a lot of e-mail from people with problems. Some of those problems are serious and thought-provoking and require answers that are carefully weighed and considered. Others are . . . well, obvious. . . . I tend not to answer the most obvious questions, but when I do, I try to be empathetic. Sometimes it’s hard. And that’s why an evil grin spread across my face (think: Mr. Burns on The Simpsons) when I got my hands on Care to Make Love in That Gross Little Space Between Cars? A Believer Book of Advice. The usually brilliant Believer magazine has a wonderful column created by comedian Amy Sedaris called ‘Sedaratives,’ which features very funny answers to purposefully ridiculous questions. . . . If only I could answer questions with that kind of thoughtfulness. I’m kidding. Sort of.” —Meredith Goldstein, The Boston Globe 
 
“Care to Make Love in That Gross Little Space Between Cars?: A Believer Book of Advice is so much more than just a well-titled tome. It’s . . . an essential compendium of (not particularly serious) advice.” —Smith Journal 
 
“Operation Enduring Cleverness: launch.” —Justin Moyer, Washington City Paper

“Advice columns aren’t exactly hard to come by. Advice columns managed by celebrities are a little tougher. But advice columns managed by comedians who may or may not have the slightest idea what they’re talking about? Now we’re getting somewhere. How about advice from a surlier-than-average Louis C.K., an enthusiastically verbose George Saunders, or a delightfully befuddled Fred Willard? Care To Make Love In That Gross Little Space Between Cars? is a collection of some of the best responses from The Believer magazine’s advice column. Guest-managed by some of the sharpest stand-up comics and writers working today . . . it is jam-packed with silliness, sarcasm, and wit. . . . The overall effect is a lot of chuckling and some well-deserved laugh-out-loud moments. . . . A perfect flip-through book for the comedians you know and love, and a solid introduction for those you don’t.” —Glenn Dallas, San Francisco Book Review 
 
“In all the years of her advice-giving career, it is unlikely Ann Landers was ever faced with a question like ‘Is Jesus a lot of hype?’ The same goes for her sister; a special no-prize goes to the person who can find the newspaper column that starts with ‘Dear Abby, What kind of superheroes do you think get laid the most?’ Luckily, for the queries that can’t—or won’t—be answered by any other source, we have Care to Make Love in That Gross Little Space Between Cars?: A Believer Book of Advice. If there’s anyone you can trust for sage counsel, it’s celebrities of every sort. Actors, comedians, writers and musicians, have all the answers for the problems of life you didn’t even know you were worried about. . . . Oh, wait, were you wanting real advice? You’ll find none of that here, but you will get a criminal amount of laughter.” —Andy Bockelman, Galo Magazine 
 
“Aberrant. Off-the-wall. Well-drawn. And very, very funny. . . . Apatow’s opening sets the tone, and the contributors? They seal the deal. Kristen Schall, Louis C.K., Zach Galifanaki, Dave Eggers, Amy Sedaris, Cintra Wilson, Sam Lipsyte and on and on and on. It’s the sort of super hip cast of celebrities that should make your eyes roll but instead make you laugh out loud. It’s a terrific—though mostly pointless—book. I couldn’t get enough.” —Jones Atwater, January Magazine 
 
“[A] selection of humorous pieces from famous, infamous and unknown comedians. Each comedian was asked to write a humorous advice column.  The result is anything but Dear Abby, as writers prove once again that dark humor is often the funniest.” —Examiner.com

About the Author

The Believer is a magazine offering essays, interviews, reviews, and advice, the latter of which appears in the form of a monthly column called “Sedaratives.” The Sedaratives column, which started in May 2005 with advice by Amy Sedaris, gave rise to this book. 
 
Mike Sacks is on the editorial staff of Vanity Fair magazine. His work has appeared in Vanity Fair, The New Yorker, Esquire, GQ, Salon, The New York Times, The Washington Post, McSweeney’s, The Believer, Vice, and other publications. Sacks is the author of three books: And Here's the Kicker: Conversations with 21 Top Humor Writers; SEX: Our Bodies, Our Junk; and Your Wildest Dreams, Within Reason.
 
Eric Spitznagel is a contributing editor for The Believer magazine, where he cocreated (along with Amy Sedaris) the Sedaratives column. He’s also the author of six books and a frequent contributor to Playboy and Vanity Fair. He has one more testicle than Hitler, which he considers a moral victory.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 256 pages
• Publisher: Vintage (March 6, 2012)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0307743713
• ISBN-13: 978-0307743718
• Product Dimensions: 5.1 x 0.8 x 8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 8.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 3.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (2 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #386,414 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful

4.0 out of 5 stars All The Advice You'll Ever Need: From German-Made Antique Gummi Worm Dispensers To Dealing With A Fear Of Buttons May 19, 2012

By Robert I. Hedges HALL OF FAMETOP 500 REVIEWER

Format:Paperback

"Care to Make Love in That Gross Little Space Between Cars?" is a collection of otherworldly advice columns from "The Believer." I am longtime subscriber to "The Believer," and the "Sedaratives" column (created by Amy Sedaris and Eric Spitznagel) is my enduringly favorite part of the magazine. I have to admit I found evaluating this book was harder than I first would have expected, because given the large number of contributors the work is necessarily uneven. I settled on four stars, because while some of the contributions were annoying and patently unfunny, they are in the minority and are overshadowed by entries filled with genuine comedic genius.

While it was expected that the likes of Laraine Newman, Brendon Small, Dave Eggers, and Zach Galifianakis would be hilarious (and are,) my three favorite entries here by far are from Rich Fulcher, Weird Al Yankovic, and, yes, Bob Saget (the latter a turn of events that surprised even me.) Find out for yourself why Saget has scheduled himself for five more colonoscopies this month. ("It's a win-win.") Weird Al explains the essential requirements of a man cave, a list that includes "a Ped Egg (with matching Ped Egg caddie), a German-made antique gummi worm dispenser, a small albino alpaca (neutered), an inflatable wading pool filled with lavender and periwinkle Ping-Pong balls," and much more. He goes on to endear himself to me personally by discussing how "Beowulf" had a "horrible, negative effect on him," subsequently referring to it as "a huge, ancient, stultifyingly boring book." Rich Fulcher (the genius behind Bob Fossil on "The Mighty Boosh") explains how polyester is "a secret garment worn by the Old Guard protectors of Gorthrab, King of the Slug Charmers," and how to be entitled to wear it you must go through rigorous training including "17 Ladders of Assessment, including Chop the Dishtowel, Seek the Elderberry, and Advanced Parallel Parking." This can take years. Perhaps my favorite sentence in the book comes from Julie Klausner, when she begins a response "It's a testament to the power or two clichés in a row that if it weren't for the first sentence of your letter, I'd think you were not crazy." Simply brilliant. A special mention goes to the advice from "Miscellaneous Canadian Rock Musicians," particularly Steve Bays of "Hot Hot Heat," who discusses interfaith wedding etiquette, an entry which is the best single humorous critique of political correctness I can remember.

If you overlook the clunkers (which are few, but stick out like a sore thumb) this is an amusing and highly useful book of advice that caters to anyone with a slightly off-center sense of humor.

2.0 out of 5 stars Meh May 27, 2012

By Paul J. Rovero

Format:Paperback

I bought this book on a whim, based mostly on the humorous title and the names of people responding to the questions. I was disappointed. Only one or two times did I actually laugh out loud reading the book, which is pretty bad considering the amount of talented comedians featured in the book. Maybe question and response advice just isn't a format in which they shine.