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Be Careful What You Pray For...You Just Might Get It

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Larry Dossey describes the Navajo belief in the power of words, the importance of thinking and speaking in a positive way -- in "the Beauty Way." Counter this with how easily caretakers can "hex" a patient's recovery with such statements as, "You have three months to live if you're lucky," or, "Only 2% of people with this kind of cancer survive more than a year."

Dossey is a physician and researcher who has helped bring credibility to alternative therapies and to spirituality in medicine. In an earlier book, "Healing Words," he reported on scientific experiments illustrating the positive effects of prayer. In this book he explores prayer's potential for harm. Perhaps the most obvious illustration of this argument is how often nations have prayed for victory against each other, both invoking the protection of God! And we've all heard of the power of belief in such practices as voodoo to create harm. But there can be more subtle influences at work, as well.

Citing the sociologist Charles Perrow, Dossey describes the nature of a "tightly coupled system." In loosely coupled systems -- such as a lawnmower's gasoline engine -- the parts are relatively autonomous and can be individually replaced when they malfunction. We are becoming increasingly familiar with the interdependence of more tightly coupled systems, often learning the hard way. In "The Logic of Failure," for example, Dietrich Dorner described a city council which attempted to limit noise and air pollution by lowering the speed limit and installing speed bumps. The unintended effects: Cars were forced to travel in lower gear -- producing more noise and exhaust, increased travel time produced increased congestion, and eventually people began to prefer shopping at outlying malls -- leading to economic failure of the downtown area.

Tightly coupled systems -- such as the human body -- are highly interdependent, where a malfunction can create an entirely unpredictable cascading effect. Dossey illustrates how giving orders with prayers can invite disaster. We could pray to rack up our immune systems, for example, and overdo it. Since it's difficult to predict all the complexities of healing, he suggests resorting to the age-old invitation of leaving the details to a higher power.

One of my favorite sections of this book is entitled "Reversing Medical Curses Through Prayer." He does acknowledge that doctors don't usually intend to do us in; nonetheless, the harm is real: "Medical curses such as 'It's your funeral,'" he writes, "'You're a walking time bomb,' 'You should have had surgery yesterday,' 'There's nothing more I can do,' and so on, are not uncommon." A spiritual approach can counter the impact of such harmful and influential statements. For example, Dr. Thomas Oxman and colleagues at Dartmouth Medical School found that the factor most highly correlated with survival and a positive post-operative course after surgery was the degree of spiritual meaning in the patient's life.

In such a situation you would do well to ask yourself, "How can I participate in my recovery and not be a victim?" "What is my purpose?" "What is meaningful to me?" "How might I make a difference in the world?"

Can prayers cause damage and destruction? Do we possess the power to harm others with our minds? If so, how can we minimize the damage? Dr. Larry Dossey answers these questions and more as he delves into the topic of the power of prayer to cause harm in his brilliant book, BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR. Dossey describes how people utilize negative prayer both consciously (in order to win at a game or in business), and unconsciously (venting feelings and thoughts without regard for the effects on the recipients)... and he covers a wide spectrum of negative prayers from the sophisticated curses and hexes of sorcerers to the more common varieties of "drive-by prayer" and "prayer muggings". Those who work with prayer every day, such as sorcerers and priests, know better than to make idly damaging statements such as, "he ought to be shot", or "I hope he chokes" -- and Dossey includes some fascinating stories of how such thoughts have precipitated real physical effects. This book is essential reading for anyone seeking a better understanding of how to understand and protect oneself from negative prayer, even when those prayers come from well-meaning friends, family, and colleagues.

Having read several hundred books on spirituality, prayer, religion (etc), I'd say this is one of my top five favorites. The only downside is the title. The book's focus is a little bit more on the power of NEGATIVE prayer than anything else.

I've never had any patience for religious teachings or faith systems that require you to check your intellect at the door before entering into a holy and inspired place. That's the beauty part of this book. It's written for people who love God and people who refuse to ignorantly worship "an unknown God."

Nearly every page of my copy of this book has been highlighted, as I've found so many powerful truths contained there. One of my favorite stories is Dossey's telling of "The Death Prayer."

He writes, "When Europeans first came to the Hawaiian Islands, they encountered a practice they literally called the 'death prayer'. They developed a horror of this practice, which came to be the 'most feared phenomenon in old Hawaii.' Eventually, laws were drafted prohibiting it" (p. 98).

Dossey then goes on to write in depth about why this prayer is so powerful and how The Lord's Prayer is truly a strong weapon against this "negative prayer."

"One native healer said, 'Have you ever heard of the Lord's Prayer. Do you remember the words, 'Deliver us from evil?' You white people have one of the best forms of protectoin, and you don't even know it! Why, I even use it myself!' he said with a grin" (p. 196-197).

On page 24, Dossey writes, "I have often thought that a handy definition of negative prayer is 'prayer without empathy.'"

As a mature believer, I'd highly recommend this book for all people who take their praying seriously. For Christmas, I purchased a copy of this book for my dearest friends, so they could understand a bit more about the awesome power of prayer - for good and for evil.

Some of the best quotes:
"We can feel the presence of another as keenly through animosity as we can through love" (p. 183).

"Curses permeate our religious life. The most obvious example is the condemnation of the unsaved to eternal, unimagineable suffering in hell" (p. 12).

And in talking about the death prayer of the Hawaiian Kahunas, he wrote,

"Not only did [William Tufts Brigham] confirm Long's [early 1900s American psychologist] impression that the kahunas could kill people at a distance with negative mental intent...he also described how the curse could be fatal to the individual who perpetrated it" (p. 98).

Powerful book. I highly recommend it for anyone who wants to protect themselves from evil people and their evil thoughts and purposes.

Given Dr. Larry Dossey's almost evangelical fervor for the wondrous powers of prayer and his previous works
which were pregnant with somewhat compelling Larry research that supported his enthusiasm, it was more than
unsettling that he seemed to experience a "black" epiphany of sorts: Prayer could be used for
destructive purposes as well as constructive.

Dossey goes so far over the top to make this point, readers should not be surprised to find themselves wincing
at the examples he uses to demonstrate the "toxic" power of prayer.

One anecdote relates the experience of a woman who "wished" (Dossey does not say she prayed for a co-worker
to leave the firm they worked for--merely that she "wished" it so. ) Both woman, as it turned out, broke their arms.

The woman who wished for an unimpeded fast track to the position she coveted said this:

"Our thoughts are a loaded gun."

Mercifully, the courts don't agree.

Dossey's book is sizzling with countless bizarre moral equivalencies. The prayer for a child to win a
cheerleading contest is equivalent to a "Prayer Mugging", ostensibly because it MIGHT harm the girl
who does not win. Dossey expands on his concept of "Prayer mugging" by suggesting its immorality
lies in the fact that we are attempting "To take something which belongs to another." Not surprisingly
Dossey does not consider that the possessor of the thing we want may have acquired the prize through
unscrupulous means.

Strangest of all is the incredibly small domain of permissible prayer Dossey considers morally acceptable:
we are not to pray for specific things because of the complexity of the world and the far reaching implications
of prayer that ignorantly screws up the system. Actually, I've moderated Dorsey's tone: pray for specific things
and you may have planted the seed of tragedy in the garden of your future. "Open-ended" prayer--praying for
general outcomes poses similar threats.

So, what's left?

"Thy will be done?"

That would wrap it up with a nice little bow but the problem then remains "How can one know God's will?" The other
problem is no less maddening: "How can one even be sure God has a 'will' for his creation.

The more Dossey attempts to sell the dark side of prayer the more it reads the account of like an attempted exorcism of a
five-year-old boy (himself) who was emotionally abused in a fundamentalist church in Texas by a tormented evangelistic minister.

I would not be surprised to learn that deep down, there is a part of Dossey who still believes the road to Jesus is fraught with the same dangers
as the road to hell.

I thought this book was fascinating. Scientific research in the field of health psychology has repeatedly shown that our thoughts influence our health. This goes one step further to say that other people's thoughts influence our health as well. I think this is not too much of a stretch since we know from quantum theory that certain things can influence other things without coming into physical contact. That consciousness itself is enough to influence the physical world. The author discusses this possiblity and experiments with it. I liked the pioneer spirit of this author. If you want to learn about the connection between consciousness and matter, another great and easy to read book is "The Ever-Transcending Spirit" by Toru Sato. It's also a fascinating book!

This is a great book for anyone who prays, meditates, uses affirmations, or practices any form of magick. But it's about praying, right? Yes, it is, but the author takes the subject far beyond the recitation of memorized prayer. He discusses various forms of negatively remotely influencing another - or a thing, situation, or possible outcome. With plenty of academic research throughout the book, he backs up his observations with hard data. That's very difficult to do when dealing with something as seemingly intangible as any form of prayer.

The author points out that whenever we pray/affirm/whatever to win, to succeed, to do well, we may well be creating a situation where someone else will have to fail. That seems obvious, right? What if the person whom you beat out for that great job has four kids and a wife with cancer at home, and really did need that great job more than you? Not so good now. You, for purposes of example, are young and single with little responsibility. But you were "successful" at getting what you prayed for, weren't you?

Most people simply don't think things through when it comes to prayers and similar work. Prayer is assumed to be benign, yet how could it possibly be, when both sides in a war will pray to the same god for victory? ... when people pray for a specific form of prosperity, not realizing it can only come at another's expense? The point is that there is always a cost, so pay attention, and be careful. Prayer can be very powerful (as evidenced by the research in the book - research that is fascinating because it doesn't not involve prayer toward people, but to bacteria... which cannot be self-reporting their condition with a prayer-positive bias since they don't talk per se..)

The most fascinating aspect of this book is a couple of chapters on "Medical Hexing" and "Death Prayers". These two chapters alone are worth twice the price of the book. It has long been known that what a doctor says to you about your health can have a tremendous effect on your long term well-beig - or lack thereof. The author demonstrates with several examples of individuals whose health radically declined, in the ABSENCE of organic disease, because of something a doctor said, or in one case, a comment made by a doc while a patient was under anesthesia. Doctors are shamans of our time... their words carry great power on the subconscious level, and I do hope this book will be read by MANY doctors. We will all be better off for it.

The idea of praying someone to death is taboo, of course. The author bravely discusses this malevolent form of attack - and points out many cases in which a death prayer happens without the person realizing that they are, in effect, praying for harm to come to another.

There is also information about protection from these negative influences. Note that the protection is primarily in the state of the mind of the prayee.

I recommend this book for anyone interested in their personal well-being who is also interested in the power of the human mind. I absolutely recommend it for doctors, surgeons, therapists, and pastoral counselors. You have -- we all have -- far more power in our words than we usually realize. This book makes it clear that it is long past time to pay attention.

This is perhaps the most unfortunately titled book I've ever read. The title should have been "Black Prayer" and that's what it's about: Praying for *bad* things to happen to people. Call it hexing, call it cursing, call it whatever: Prayer has a flipside about which little is ever said aloud.

Fascinating anecodotes comprise most of the work, but if you follow some of the citations you'll see that there's something to all this.

Highly recommended.

I think while some points can be gleaned from this book, I found it extremely far fetched. I tried to read it because I do like understanding different points of views, however, I couldn't get past the first few chapters. Far fetched.

Larry Dossey likes to say that prayer has been scientifically proven, but he just doesn't have a case. He avoids directly defining "prayer" or explaining how exactly it would work. Does anyone really believe that God would let someone get sick or die just because no one prayed for him or her? Dossey wants us to believe that a just God is a sort of cosmic favor dispenser, only helping those who pray. The evidence doesn't support what he says. Soft-headed, gullible New Agers will love this book; others beware.