Customer Reviews

On Caring

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This wonderful little book outlines a kind of caring that can give order and meaning to our life. Mayeroff's caring is a process in which we selflessly help an 'other' (be it a person, idea, or ideal) to grow and actualize itself.

Caring requires effort: Knowing (many things about the other and ourself); Alternating Rhythms (incorporating feedback in our caring); Patience (I like his definition: 'Patience is not waiting passively for something to happen, but it is a kind of participation with the other in which we give fully of ourselves.'); Honesty; Trust (of ourself as well as of the other); Humility; Hope (as an expression of a present alive with possibilities); and Courage.

By caring for the other, we become actualized. By focusing on the process, we show our concern for the future through the care we take with what is present now.

Caring can give order and meaning to life, if the others we choose are inclusive enough. Then these others become what Mayeroff calls 'appropriate others' -- they enable us to be complete, 'somewhat as playing music enables the musician to be himself.' Appropriate others become a center around which our life can be ordered.

Mayeroff believed that through finding and helping to develop our appropriate others, we discover and create the meaning of our life.

There are two reasons I wanted to review On Caring. One, it is a wonderful book that has stayed with me since I first read it years ago. Two, when I read The Faithful Wife by Sigrid Undset, I marveled at how beautifully that book seemed to incorporate Mayeroff's ideas.

The concepts Mayeroff presents, are part of the Mission Statement of my company. Caring is a foundation stone that permeates every aspect of the company business. Caring is in our performance reviews, caring is in flexible hours, caring is in time off, caring is required reading for all employees and board members, etc. As Mayeroff states: "Caring has a way of ordering activities and values around itself" (p.65).

The late Dr. Mayeroff, in his book selected for the prestigious World Perspectives Series, evidences everything he describes therein by taking seven plus years to produce this book. An intricate and turgid text describes every facet of caring in the contexts of author, artist and parent, etc. Killed in a tragic car crash on icy Upstate New York winter roads, his work is a tribute to his careful thought and careful teaching

Caring is something we can strive to do every day. Many oppportunities will open up as we interconnect with others on a day to day basis.

I always try to live by these sayings, do unto others as you would have others do unto you and, what you reap is what you sow. To receive love you must give love. It is our life's cycle. At times in our life we are the doers, the givers, at other times takers, receivers.

To be the taker is not selfish but self actualization. It requires humility to accept love, especially when you are not feeling loveable. In these pages Milton Mayeroff gives us a philosophy of life in a nutshell.

It is a small book but nevertheless brings great comfort and peace to the soul.

Other powerful authors are Victor Frankl who wrote Man's Search for Meaning, Man's Search for Meaning Abraham Maslow, Religions, Values, and Peak Experiences and Rabbi Harold Kushner, When Bad Things Happen to Good People. When Bad Things Happen to Good People All powerful words filled with wisdom, life experiences and reality.

I first read this book 30 years ago. It explores the capacity and desirability for human beings to choose something to care about, and to do something about it. It offers, not so much practical advice as, a series of ways to think about your own ability to care from a range of different perspectives and approaches. It's one of the most readable pieces of philosophy that I have read. More importantly, my dog eared copy is still sitting on my shelf, and I give this book a little bit of credit for many of the things that I have managed to get right in my life.

I will definitely give a copy to each of my children when the time is right.

The wisdom shared by Milton Mayerhoff in this book will guide any and all who read with eyes to see and a heart wide open to receive. I gave several copies as Christmas presents with the inscription: "Please read this treasure at least once a year". Brief, to the point, full of wisdom, I cannot recommend it highly enough. "Please read this treasure at least once a year!"

I discovered this book by searching on amazon. I am only 3/4 of the way through it and my reaction is WOW! I picked up this book because I'm a newly wed and trying to make sense of the pull of my own needs vs. satisfying the needs of my wife. This book is a little more philosophical than providing tips on marriage. However, it did make me think of caring for my wife as also providing growth for myself. As a side benefit it gave me a new perspective on my work. As someone approaching 40, it helps make sense of life after my ideals of youth have turned into more practical responsibilities and choices. It is a more mature example of the self-help book. Not just overly selfish and inwardly directed, it is about caring for the growth of others and the ideas you value. It is rather short and not too difficult to read. I urge you to look for it.

I stumbled onto this text while reading Nel Noddings "The Challenge to Care in Schools." I believe that Milton Mayeroff's work provides a wonderful foundational look at what caring means. With great theoretical depth he paints a picture that shows how caring can change not only the world, but our intimate self. Caring begins with our desire to help someone grow, whether that is our self, another, an entity. In the end perhaps Mayeroff suggests to us that by caring we change how we view the world and that in itself foments change. I recommend this book highly as a life changing volume.

There are important lessons in this book about the 'right way' of caring for others. Milton Mayeroff distinguishes between the selfish caring in which we are focused on what we want for the person, and the true caring in which we are concerned with the other persons growth and development, their well- being. Mayeroff says part of caring for others is helping them too care for others in a true way. I took one of his points especially to heart i.e. His idea that there is a wrong kind of over- caring , an over- caring which shows the other that one lacks trust in their ability. The better caring is that which fosters confidence and ability to act in the other. This is a small book about a very big subject. I recommend it most highly.

if you are human, no matter where or who or what you are, you must read this book. I tried to look up information on this wonderful author (he only wrote this book) and can't find any biographical data. Would love to know more about Uncle Miltie, the man....Up there with the Bible, and any reference book you will find...