Customer Reviews

Carnage for the Destroyer

5 star:		(2)
4 star:		(1)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(2)

 

 

Ok yeah the last review was honest and true.. but I think they missed the complete point of this..

LBP movies are all about BAD OVERACTING, IMMATURE GROSS OUT JOKES, SILLY DEATH SCENES, and BAD GORE, not to mention obsurd endings...

This movie is awesome... it's all about a metal head teen geek that is obsessed with mythology, dragons and Halloween who accidentally ressurects a greek god of destruction APOLLYON aka the DESTROYER....

A strange cast of characters such as...CHOACH (the preteen looking sex god,full of himself, but still manages to get some tail), TEEN APE (a regular in the LBP films), MORGANA (the dominatrix obsessed with urinating) And another cowboy guys obsessed with Hank Williams, Merle Haggard & George Jones (but I can't remember his name right now.. crap) create an unusual splatter film for all strange little children to enjoy!

This movie is full of obsurd yet hilarious acting, goofy jokes, some nasty nasty yet FAKED smut, and more..

IF you were a teenage metal head.. you should definately check this out you'll get the jokes as where others wouldn't!

later

At the outset, I should note there is very likely a subset of the movie watching market that will enjoy this film, I just don't fit into it. The movie is a comic/horror type, with unabashedly over the top jokes and infantile humor. Everything is exaggerated; the characters are ridiculous modifications of normal people. For example, one of the actresses is a 20ish female who plays the role of a 45 y/o jewish woman; she speaks with a painfully overemphasized nasal annoyance, goes on about her bunyons, etc. Its not funny, its annoying. Then there's the girl who urinates on everything. Let's not forget the sophomoric sexual jokes; every scene has some absurd sexual component that again, is just so over the top that its annoying. If you're a fan of slap stick humor, you may enjoy this. Of note, this was shot partly at the Bloodview haunted house in Broadview Heights, OH (and, I'm a bit ashamed to admit I recognize anything in Cleveland, OH). Despite the song, Cleveland most certainly doesn't rock.

This is perhaps one of the better Teen-Ape video to date. A group of extremely unique and campy people decided to decorate for a haunted Halloween house, dedicated to Appollyon, the Greek/Viking Destroyer. Appolloyon appears (looked like Teen-Ape with a different mask) and kills a bunch of people.

The acting is extremely bad by design as is the crude sexual dialouge. There is nudity and a sex scene which appears to use a fake male organ, which may be too realistic looking for a younger audience. A real organ would have given this movie a XXX porno rating had it been released to the theater. Good sound track and some of the dialouge was funny in spite of its crudeness.

This is a 5 star rating on the campy scale. One star on a normal scale.

This is bad. Your typical no-budget video installation from hell project featuring bad lighting, sound that came from the mic on the camera most likely, a script (if you can call it that) written on the back of a gum wrapper, and acting that goes from bad to even worse over the course of the movie.

For all newcomers to the Chris Seaver (his fanbase probably only registers double-digits) he's the bad Troma wannabe filmmaker who think that all there is to Troma is blood, gore and boobies. And maybe he's right. But Troma does it better than anyone else and apparently they've rejected Chris Seaver's work ranging from his "Heather & Puggly Drops A Deuce" deal to his proposed "Sgt.Kabukiman sequel" to his now delayed "Dolphin Man" movie. Troma clearly doesn't want to work with this guy *hint* hint* So now Seaver is distributing his work through a company even poorer than Troma, Tempe Entertainment, which deals in soft porn.

And that is what this film is... bad splatter gore soft porn that doesn't have enough T&A to satisfy the porn crowd and doesn't have enough 'horror' to truly qualify as a scary movie. So why are you watching this movie? Hopefully, the answer is: you are not!

Once again, these reviews are plagued by people who, no matter how hard they try, will NEVER get Chris Seaver's delicious brand of nut-slapping humor.

Carnage is one of my favorite LBP movies. It combines the power of epic fantasy metal with enough blood, Seaveresque jokes, and lovable characters than you can shake your stick at. The tension between Teen Ape and Choach is hilarious, and watching Meredith Host play a Dominatrix is priceless. If you like horror, and you love bawdy, laugh out loud humor, you'll love Carnage!