Carnageland [Paperback]

David W. Barbee (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: October 5, 2009

Alien invaders. They want your planet, they want your money, and they won't stop until they have it all. Invader 898 is about to embark on his first assignment, but when he is sent to a backwoods planet on the far side of the universe, he's stranded with millions of fairy tale whores, pornographic fables, and magical hermaphrodites. Armed only with his Doomshooter and the strange singing trumpet betwixt his legs, 898 must complete his mission while resisting the temptations of the fantasy creatures. For an invader, victory means promotion and failure means the pink slip of death. Carnageland is a perverted odyssey of sci-fi and fantasy, shaken and stirred so that only one may emerge alive.

Editorial Reviews

From the Inside Flap

"Carnageland is one of the most insane SF stories I've ever read. Like a gory video game come to life, it is non-stop ultra-violence, an extraterrestrial fever dream straight out of a 1940s sci-fi pulp novel. Carnageland is jam-packed insanity, a fast-paced ride full of blood and humor. It's like a Mars Attacks sequel written by a mental patient. And I mean that in a good way. Recommended." - JORDAN KRALL, author of Fistful of Feet and Squid Pulp Blues

"Were you a dork in high school? Did you play Dungeons & Dragons or read books featuring knights, wizards, elves, hobbits, and clerics? Do you hate these things now? Would you like to see these characters and creatures of fantasy killed in the most brutal of ways? If so, Carnageland is the book for you. It's Takashi Miike's Izo meets the Shrek movies if Izo were a little green alien rather than an undead samurai." - BRADLEY SANDS, author of My Heart Said No, But the Camera Crew Said Yes!

"Call it "Shrek" as directed by Quentin Tarantino." - KEVIN SWEENEY, co-author of Sideshow P.I.

"Basically, this story has extreme sex and violence, and clever cartoony ideas connected to fairy tales and alien invasions. If that sounds like an ideal combination, Carnageland is your book." - AWESOMER THAN THOU

"All hail the Captain Crunch-powered id monkey! Its fun, it's violent, it rots your brain. In other words, buy it now." - WITHERSIN MAGAZINE

"Carnageland is a fantastic addition to the Bizarro world, and deserves a place on your bookshelf." - LIVING WITH A NERD

Product Details

• Paperback: 84 pages
• Publisher: Eraserhead Press (October 5, 2009)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1933929952
• ISBN-13: 978-1933929958
• Product Dimensions: 8.5 x 0.2 x 5.5 inches
• Shipping Weight: 4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (26 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #2,207,170 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

David W Barbee is an author of bizarro fiction, the weirdest genre of fiction known to mankind. His influences include cult movies, comic books, cartoons, and other geeky stuff. He is the author of many weird stories and books, including A TOWN CALLED SUCKHOLE and THUNDERPUSSY. His short fiction has appeared in Unicorn Knife Fight, Full Metal Orgasm, Amazing Stories of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, the Magazine of Bizarro Fiction, and The Best Bizarro Fiction of the Decade.

He lives in the mangy wilderness of Georgia with his wife and dog, fighting off giant mosquitoes with samurai swords.

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful

4.0 out of 5 stars Sick and Twisted October 14, 2009

By Eric Mays VINE™ VOICE

Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase

David Barbee is a sick man - and I use that as a term of endearment.
Carnageland is an interesting read. There's little character development; the characters are what they are. There's some repetition in the action. But I loved the hell out of it. Why? Well, it's the same reason that I love the hell out of Corman flicks or SciFi (now, the oddly named SyFy) original movies. Because they're like sugary confectionary Saturday Morning cartoons for adults.
If you're looking for a sympathetic character and massive development, or even scientific gadgetry in your sci-fi, then bypass this book. If you watched Saturday Morning cartoons, like B-grade movies and twisted fairytales, then you'll absolutely love this book, like I did.
Remember Sherman and Peabody? Yeah, those two. They were always messing with history. Fractured Fairytales did the same. Now, imagine that land, twisted by Todd McFarlane, and invaded by aliens. There you go...that's kind of what Carnageland is.
It opens with 898 preparing for invasion. Inpire, Inc, the world where these "invaders" come from, is a pretty cool place, and I'd love to see more of it in the future. Aliens are selected by an epic claw (just like Toy Story..."the claw is our master"!) as the chosen invaders. Well, 898 gets selected to decimate a planet filled with fantastical beasts...slightly twisted fairytale creations. And decimate he does. If you've ever imagined some of the fairytale creatures getting slaughtered in horrific fashion, well, now's your chance to see it unfold. (On a side note, my favorite twisted character was the Ninjerbread Man...'nuff said.)
Carnageland is a fast read - almost too fast, `cause I wanted more - and fun. It really is like Roger Corman got his hands on the works of Piers Anthony and went to town.
Carnageland is available at Amazon.com...help us authors out.

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Video Game in my Head--Fast, Furious, Funny, YES! November 9, 2009

By Kevin Shamel

Format:Paperback

Carnageland will make you wish all of life is a video game. This book is pure fun fantasy.

From its beginning, you know you're starting out on a thrill-ride. The story begins with little green men who seem to have escaped from the Buzz Lightyear cartoon, underwent desensitivity training and came out believing that all the universe is for their corporate control. Their constant plan is invasion. They are masters at it.

Carnageland fills its in-betweens with a fun, hilarious, and smart story about one of those LGMs and his quest to be the best killer he can be. Our hero ("named" 898) was born for a planet-wide murderous rampage and we get to follow him through it.

In the end, our favorite killer little green man transforms from a, "am I killing everyone right?" sort to an all-out mini-machine of certain destruction. I love 898.

We follow the little killer on his first invasion. Barbee's planet of invasion is hilariously perfect for a corporation to acquire. Money literally grows on trees there. Gems are like dirt. 898 gets right to genocidic business.

The action comes quick and hard and doesn't let-up. This is from page 11, after 898 meets the first being from the planet he's about to destroy:

"...The creature carried an umbrella over its head and skipped over to the invader. `Ah!' it said, hooves clacking against the crystal ground. `What bringest thou to this merry wood? I am a faun, one of the forest children. What race is thou? A dwarf? Perhaps some sort of--'
A giant green spark shot of 898's Doomshooter and melted off the faun's face..."

And that's how it begins. I think Mr. Barbee touches on (and destroys) every beloved fairy tale creature, D&D meme, and 80s action cartoon there ever was. This is good, vibrant writing. The book flies by. I gobbled it. I only wish there was more. But there really cannot be.

I'll have to wait for David. W. Barbee's next excellent adventure.

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful

4.0 out of 5 stars 898 Kicks All Kinds Of Ass October 23, 2011

By R. Moschgat Jr.

Format:Paperback

898 the main character, is on his first mission to overtake a planet and claim all its resources for his people.
At around 70 pages Mr. Barbee takes us on a ride of the fantastic.
While some of the characters are ones that you may remember from your childhood, this book isn't for the faint of heart. There is violence, sex, some more violence, then to top it off just a little more violence.
I loved the doomshooter weapon. Who wouldn't want one of these things? Anything that you can imagine comes out of it and you can dispose of your enemies in all kinds of fun ways.
Take a chance on this one. Despite it being short it packs one hell of a punch! Looking forward to more by Mr. Barbee.