Carpe Jugulum [Unabridged] [Audio CD]

Terry Pratchett (Author), Nigel Planer (Narrator)

Book Description

Publication Date: September 30, 2000

In this and indeed other lives there are givers and takers. It’s safe to say that vampires are very much in the latter camp – unapologetically so. Most of them have had plenty of practice – after all they’ve been undead for centuries. And they haven’t got that old without being artful. The Magpyrs are a thoroughly modern, sophisticated vampire family. They’re looking to enhance their social status by taking over a kingdom or two. Over the years they’ve even developed a taste for garlic and for holy icons. They’re not going to take ‘no’ for an answer – particularly from witches or priests…

--This text refers to the Kindle Edition edition.

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

Carpe Jugulum is the 23rd Discworld novel, and with it this durable series continues its juggernaut procession onward. Pratchett is an author who inspires such devotions that his fans will fall on the novel with cries of joy. Nonfans, perhaps, will want to know what all the fuss is about; and that's something difficult to put into a few words. The best thing to do for those completely new to Pratchett is to sample him for themselves, and this novel is as good a place to start as any. But fans have a more precise question. They know that Discworld novels come in one of two varieties: the quite good and the brilliant. So, for instance, where Hogfather and Maskerade were quite good, Feet of Clay and Jingo were brilliant. While true fans wouldn't want to do without the former, they absolutely live for the latter. And with Carpe Jugulum, Pratchett has hit the jackpot again. This novel is one of the brilliant ones.

The plot is a version of an earlier Discworld novel, Lords and Ladies, with the predatory elves of that novel being replaced here by suave and deadly vampires, and the tiny kingdom of Lancre being defended by its witches. But plot is the least of Pratchett's appeal, and Carpe Jugulum is loaded with marvelous characters (not least the witches themselves, about whom we learn a deal more), comic touches and scenes of genius, and even some of the renowned down-to-earth Pratchett wisdom (about the inner ethical conflicts we all face and the wrongness of treating people as things). Pratchett's vampires are elegant Bela Lugosi types, and they come up against an unlikely but engaging alliance of witches; blue-skinned pixies like Rob Roy Smurfs; a doubting priest with a boil on his face; and a magical house-size Phoenix in a seamless, completely absorbing, and feel-good-about-the-universe mixture. Highly recommended. --Adam Roberts, Amazon.co.uk --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From Publishers Weekly

Carpe JugulumAseize the throatAis the motto of the family of "vampyres" who attempt a hospitable takeover of the kingdom of Lancre in Pratchett's 23rd Discworld novel. When the goodhearted king invited the Magpyrs to celebrate the birth of his daughter, he couldn't know that these modern bloodsuckers would have no intention of leaving. By controlling everyone's mind, they try to turn Lancre into a sort of farm, and no one can think straight enough to stop them. That is, until the vampyres meet up with the local witches: Granny Weatherwax, Nanny Ogg, Magrat Garlick and Agnes Nitt (who is literally of two minds about everything). The perplexing skirmishes that ensue will leave readers shaking their heads in hearty dismay even as they groan at the puns and explanatory notes that pepper the tale. Death (scythe and all) and Igor (of Frankenstein film fame) provide the best gags. The novel exudes the curious feel of old-fashioned vampire and Frankenstein legendsAfull of holy water, religious symbols, stakes through the heart, angry mobs, bad pronunciation and garlic. The vampyres, however, have risen above these clich?s even if their servant, Igor, still has a taste for dribbly candles and squeaky hinges. Pratchett lampoons everything from Christian superstition to Swiss Army knives here, proving that the fantasy satire of Discworld "still ate'nt dead."
Copyright 1999 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Audio CD
• Publisher: ISIS Audio Books; Unabridged edition (September 30, 2000)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 075310959X
• ISBN-13: 978-0753109595
• Product Dimensions: 7.5 x 7.4 x 1.7 inches
• Shipping Weight: 14.9 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (86 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #3,639,437 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • #60 in Books > Books on CD > Authors, A-Z > ( P ) > Pratchett, Terry

More About the Author

Terry Pratchett sold his first story when he was fifteen, which earned him enough money to buy a second-hand typewriter. His first novel, a humorous fantasy entitled The Carpet People, appeared in 1971 from the publisher Colin Smythe. Terry worked for many years as a journalist and press officer, writing in his spare time and publishing a number of novels, including his first Discworld novel, The Color of Magic, in 1983. In 1987 he turned to writing full time, and has not looked back since. To date there are a total of 36 books in the Discworld series, of which four (so far) are written for children. The first of these children's books, The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents, won the Carnegie Medal. A non-Discworld book, Good Omens, his 1990 collaboration with Neil Gaiman, has been a longtime bestseller, and was reissued in hardcover by William Morrow in early 2006 (it is also available as a mass market paperback (Harper Torch, 2006) and trade paperback (Harper Paperbacks, 2006). Terry's latest book, Nation, a non-Discworld standalone YA novel was published in October of 2008 and was an instant New York Times and London Times bestseller. Regarded as one of the most significant contemporary English-language satirists, Pratchett has won numerous literary awards, was named an Officer of the British Empire "for services to literature" in 1998, and has received four honorary doctorates from the Universities of Warwick, Portsmouth, Bath, and Bristol. His acclaimed novels have sold more than 55 million copies (give or take a few million) and have been translated into 36 languages. Terry Pratchett lives in England with his family, and spends too much time at his word processor.  Some of Terry's accolades include: The Carnegie Medal, Locus Awards, the Mythopoetic Award, ALA Notable Books for Children, ALA Best Books for Young Adults, Book Sense 76 Pick, Prometheus Award and the British Fantasy Award.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

25 of 27 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Granny and Nanny versus the undead, February 5, 2004

By 

E. A. Lovitt "starmoth" (Gladwin, MI USA) - See all my reviews
(HALL OF FAME REVIEWER)    (TOP 100 REVIEWER)    (REAL NAME)   

Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: Carpe Jugulum (Mass Market Paperback)

Those of us who grew up watching Hammer films know better than to invite a vampire into our castle. But suppose you are the new jester-turned-king of a small principality on Discworld, and you want to be friends with all of your neighbors, even if they happen to be undead. (Hint: always check to see if a country has a disproportionate number of 24-hour Walgreens before issuing your invitations).

Not only does King Verence invite a family of vampires to his daughter's christening, his invitation to the powerful witch, Granny Weatherwax goes mysteriously astray.

Foopahs abound. Granny Weatherwax closes up her cottage as though she never means to return. Her friend and fellow-witch, Nanny Ogg is upset by King Verence's choice of a priest of Om as the official baptizer--a priest who relies on bits of strategically placed paper to jog his uncertain memory--which is how the little princess ends up with the name 'Esmerelda Margaret Note Spelling of Lancre.'

Of course, Lancre did once have a king named, 'My God He's Heavy the First.'

This is obviously going to shape up as one of the most disastrous christenings since Sleeping Beauty got the shaft (or more correctly, the spindle) from the thirteenth fairy godmother. Then events take a turn for the worse when the vampires happily chow through Nanny Ogg's special garlic dip without a single rumble of indigestion.

I love all of the Granny Weatherwax/Nanny Ogg Discworld novels, and even though "Carpe Jugulum" tackles some unusually serious themes (its vampires are truly evil, unlike the loveable, teetotalling Otto in "The Truth"), it is still vintage Pratchett and vintage Granny.

It is amazing how an author of such absurd fantasies can still convey such a bone-chilling description of evil. Pratchett is much more than a 'simple' comic novelist.

8 of 9 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Deja Vu, November 12, 2001

By 

Daniel J. Fawcett (Columbus, Ohio) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Carpe Jugulum (Mass Market Paperback)

This is just one of umpteen reviews, so I'll skip the summary. In fact, the only reason I'm reviewing this AT ALL is that I bought the book through Amazon, so every time I write a review of something else, they remind me I still haven't reviewed this one.

But, after having it for months, I've finally started to read it. Wow, I'm glad that I did!

Let's be honest. The plot is really secondary to the characters. And that is where PTerry shines. He gives us characters with motivations and passions, likes and fears, and he lets the humor flow from that, rather than forcing a plot point to make the humor come out. PTerry's humor is never forced.

However, as many have pointed out, this plot is a re-hasing of Lords and Ladies. Without a doubt, Lords and Ladies is my favorite. So when this plot also takes place in Lancre with an outside force of supernatural beings assaulting the kingdom, it felt like I was coming back to a well-eorn fable. I knew the plot, and I could concentrate on reading about the characters.

And we learn so much about the characters this time. Nanny Ogg and Agnes get some great treatment this time around (which they lacked in previous books), and even Granny Weatherwax gets some new twists. The characters are delicious.

Why a four star rating instead of a five, then? Because PTerry wasn't as inventive this time. In Lords and Ladies, we see Elves in a different way. Cliches are broken, mangled, played with, and twisted. But the Vampires (vampyrs, as they prefer) are somewhat mundane. One of them is even named Vlad, for Pete's sake! PTerry certainly did give us a new take on some of the traits of the Vampires, but they didn't get the much-needed overhaul that the Elves got previously.

Otherwise, an entertaining, highly-readable, highly-quotable book (as Discworld books tend to be). But it's still the younger, less successful brother compared to Lords and Ladies.

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Witches and Vampires, Igors and Priests, March 15, 2006

By 

James D. DeWitt "Alaska Fan" (Fairbanks, AK United States) - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)    (REAL NAME)   

Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: Carpe Jugulum (Mass Market Paperback)

With Carpe Jugulum, Terry Pratchett returned to the witches of Lancre series. The witches, including the formidable Esme Weatherwax, must somehow defeat the Vampyres who have taken over the tiny mountain kingdom of Lancre.

The coven has changed, of course. Magrat Garlick has left-off witching to be the Queen - a definite step down in the eyes of Granny Weatherwax. Agnes Nitt has replaced her. Agnes is of two minds about being a witch, but then Agnes is of two minds about everything. Sometimes that can even be an advantage.

The occasion of the story is the christening of the King and Queen's new-born daughter. Reverend Mightily Oates, a very young, very nervous priest of Om, has agreed to perform the service. Oates has crises of faith so often that they might as well be scheduled. Reverend Oates is worried he will mess up the christening. He needn't have worried; of course he does.

And King Verence, in a gesture of excessive good will, has invited everyone to the christening. Including those new and modern Vampyres from neighboring Uberwald. Everyone who knows anything about vampires knows they don't go where they aren't invited, but of course they were invited... And these new, modern Vampyres don't mind garlic, holy relics, wedges of lemon or the other traditional tools for managing the pests. And they are clever. As just one example, Granny's invitation to the christening has gone astray. Somehow, Granny Weatherwax, Nanny Ogg and Agnes Nitt must find a way to force these Vampyres out, not just out of Lancre but out of the DiscWorld entirely.

Pratchett is a man of firm convictions. One of those firm opinions is that the greatest sin of all is to treat people as things. Which is what vampires - and Vampyres - do. So the outcome is a foregone conclusion. Besides, they are up against Granny Weatherwax. Who also gets one of the great lines in vampire literature. I won't spoil it here, but as is always the case with Pratchett, it is a logical and hysterically funny implication of the whole blood-sucking thing. And exceptionally well-developed in the plot.

I was particularly impressed with Pratchett's development of Mightily Oates. He is introduced as a bumbling stock character, but over the course of the story becomes something far more, earning the grudging respect of the entire coven. Someday I'd like to read more about Reverend Oates.

The Witches series isn't my favorite, but among the Witches stories this is one of the best, second only to "Lords and Ladies." You'll never look at magpies in quite the same way. A very good tale, very well told. Highly recommended.