Customer Reviews

Carpe Jugulum

5 star:		(46)
4 star:		(24)
3 star:		(11)
2 star:		(5)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

Those of us who grew up watching Hammer films know better than to invite a vampire into our castle. But suppose you are the new jester-turned-king of a small principality on Discworld, and you want to be friends with all of your neighbors, even if they happen to be undead. (Hint: always check to see if a country has a disproportionate number of 24-hour Walgreens before issuing your invitations).

Not only does King Verence invite a family of vampires to his daughter's christening, his invitation to the powerful witch, Granny Weatherwax goes mysteriously astray.

Foopahs abound. Granny Weatherwax closes up her cottage as though she never means to return. Her friend and fellow-witch, Nanny Ogg is upset by King Verence's choice of a priest of Om as the official baptizer--a priest who relies on bits of strategically placed paper to jog his uncertain memory--which is how the little princess ends up with the name 'Esmerelda Margaret Note Spelling of Lancre.'

Of course, Lancre did once have a king named, 'My God He's Heavy the First.'

This is obviously going to shape up as one of the most disastrous christenings since Sleeping Beauty got the shaft (or more correctly, the spindle) from the thirteenth fairy godmother. Then events take a turn for the worse when the vampires happily chow through Nanny Ogg's special garlic dip without a single rumble of indigestion.

I love all of the Granny Weatherwax/Nanny Ogg Discworld novels, and even though "Carpe Jugulum" tackles some unusually serious themes (its vampires are truly evil, unlike the loveable, teetotalling Otto in "The Truth"), it is still vintage Pratchett and vintage Granny.

It is amazing how an author of such absurd fantasies can still convey such a bone-chilling description of evil. Pratchett is much more than a 'simple' comic novelist.

This is just one of umpteen reviews, so I'll skip the summary. In fact, the only reason I'm reviewing this AT ALL is that I bought the book through Amazon, so every time I write a review of something else, they remind me I still haven't reviewed this one.

But, after having it for months, I've finally started to read it. Wow, I'm glad that I did!

Let's be honest. The plot is really secondary to the characters. And that is where PTerry shines. He gives us characters with motivations and passions, likes and fears, and he lets the humor flow from that, rather than forcing a plot point to make the humor come out. PTerry's humor is never forced.

However, as many have pointed out, this plot is a re-hasing of Lords and Ladies. Without a doubt, Lords and Ladies is my favorite. So when this plot also takes place in Lancre with an outside force of supernatural beings assaulting the kingdom, it felt like I was coming back to a well-eorn fable. I knew the plot, and I could concentrate on reading about the characters.

And we learn so much about the characters this time. Nanny Ogg and Agnes get some great treatment this time around (which they lacked in previous books), and even Granny Weatherwax gets some new twists. The characters are delicious.

Why a four star rating instead of a five, then? Because PTerry wasn't as inventive this time. In Lords and Ladies, we see Elves in a different way. Cliches are broken, mangled, played with, and twisted. But the Vampires (vampyrs, as they prefer) are somewhat mundane. One of them is even named Vlad, for Pete's sake! PTerry certainly did give us a new take on some of the traits of the Vampires, but they didn't get the much-needed overhaul that the Elves got previously.

Otherwise, an entertaining, highly-readable, highly-quotable book (as Discworld books tend to be). But it's still the younger, less successful brother compared to Lords and Ladies.

Carpe Jugulum, the 23rd Discworld novel by the ever-amusing Terry Pratchett, introduces vampires to the Disc. Having read the books out of order, and having already read all of the subsequent ones, vampires are old-hat to me. A couple of times, I had to consciously remember that this was the first and that some of the things I knew about them weren't true in this one. That being said, this is another wonderful Discworld book, a notch on his belt that looks rather toothy.

A number of people have commented on the similarities between this book and Lords & Ladies, with the vampires replacing the elves as villains. While I do see some similarities, there are some marked differences as well. Carpe Jugulum, I feel, stands well on its own two feet. There is a completely different purpose behind what the vampires are doing. The Count wants to modernize his people, to get them to overcome some of the "silly" stereotypes about vampires. He doesn't want a dank, gloomy castle with webs all over the place. He doesn't see the hunt as a game where the vampire always loses. He wants to take over in order to protect himself, his family, and his very way of life. If he didn't commit some thoroughly evil deeds in the process, his goal might actually be a legitimate one.

However, he does commit these acts, and thus must be stopped. This is where the book does become a little standard, with an intractable enemy facing the witches and Granny using her "headology" to save the day. I have to admit that what she decides to do is very interesting, and a nice twist on vampire myths in general. I won't reveal what she does, but suffice it to say that she turns one of the typical vampire powers back on itself in a very novel way. The plot is well-told by Pratchett, and for once the ending doesn't actually come out of left field. If you read the characters properly (especially Igor, who is also introduced in this book), then you may be able to guess what happens.

As for the characters, Pratchett again excels. The witches are their normal selves (Magrat is kind of shy but shields a strong backbone when push comes to shove, Nanny Ogg is lewd and crude but always knowledgeable, and Granny is her usual gruff self with a heart underneath which nobody will ever see unless they really look), but the new witch Agnes is also very interesting. She has a second side to herself which occasionally comes out. It is a separate personality, which is invaluable in protecting her from the vampire charms. Mightily Oats is also a hoot, but deep enough that you do start to care about him. His crisis of faith isn't exactly unique, but Pratchett gives him enough differences to avoid making him unoriginal.

The vampires steal the show, though, along with Igor. We have the Count, who is determined to change things. His wife, the Countessa, is going along with him but doesn't really believe in it. The kids, Lacrimosa and Vlad, don't see any point to all this. They just want to feed and play with the mortals. These four argue constantly, as the Count flashes them holy signs to harden them against the effects, makes them stay up during the day, and overall annoys them with his optimism that all of these things can be changed. He's also looking forward to matching wits with Granny, and there are a couple of times where you think that maybe Granny won't succeed. Igor, however, is the best character in the book. The vampires are sure that his lisp and the way he walks is all part of the "game" and that he doesn't need to do all of that. But Igor is a traditionalist, constantly referring to how the old "mathter" used to do things. "The old mathter loved my spider webs." He's a fun character, and I completely understand why Pratchett has used an Igor in almost every book since this one. He truly is a wonderful creation.

The humour is Pratchett at his best, with some innuendo (though kids have either already heard it or wont' get it). The Witches books always seem to contain things like that, and as before, the plot is much more straightforward then is usual in a Discworld book. He seems to like using the "traditional" villains whenever they are involved, perhaps because they are the most "normal" heroes he has created. Sometimes there are some seemingly unnecessary bits, such as the little blue people (Nac mac Feegle) who help King Verence attack the vampires. However, they are hilarious, so I'll forgive the fact that they don't really do a lot in the book. The puns are atrocious (the name of the vampires' castle is "Don'tgonearthe Castle") but I couldn't stop laughing.

If you like Pratchett but don't like the Witches, then this book won't change your mind. But if you haven't tried them yet, give this one a try. You don't need to have read the previous witches books (though it does help). And if you're reading this after reading the next few books, keep in mind that some things you know about vampires just aren't true...yet. What a bloody treat!

David Roy

With Carpe Jugulum, Terry Pratchett returned to the witches of Lancre series. The witches, including the formidable Esme Weatherwax, must somehow defeat the Vampyres who have taken over the tiny mountain kingdom of Lancre.

The coven has changed, of course. Magrat Garlick has left-off witching to be the Queen - a definite step down in the eyes of Granny Weatherwax. Agnes Nitt has replaced her. Agnes is of two minds about being a witch, but then Agnes is of two minds about everything. Sometimes that can even be an advantage.

The occasion of the story is the christening of the King and Queen's new-born daughter. Reverend Mightily Oates, a very young, very nervous priest of Om, has agreed to perform the service. Oates has crises of faith so often that they might as well be scheduled. Reverend Oates is worried he will mess up the christening. He needn't have worried; of course he does.

And King Verence, in a gesture of excessive good will, has invited everyone to the christening. Including those new and modern Vampyres from neighboring Uberwald. Everyone who knows anything about vampires knows they don't go where they aren't invited, but of course they were invited... And these new, modern Vampyres don't mind garlic, holy relics, wedges of lemon or the other traditional tools for managing the pests. And they are clever. As just one example, Granny's invitation to the christening has gone astray. Somehow, Granny Weatherwax, Nanny Ogg and Agnes Nitt must find a way to force these Vampyres out, not just out of Lancre but out of the DiscWorld entirely.

Pratchett is a man of firm convictions. One of those firm opinions is that the greatest sin of all is to treat people as things. Which is what vampires - and Vampyres - do. So the outcome is a foregone conclusion. Besides, they are up against Granny Weatherwax. Who also gets one of the great lines in vampire literature. I won't spoil it here, but as is always the case with Pratchett, it is a logical and hysterically funny implication of the whole blood-sucking thing. And exceptionally well-developed in the plot.

I was particularly impressed with Pratchett's development of Mightily Oates. He is introduced as a bumbling stock character, but over the course of the story becomes something far more, earning the grudging respect of the entire coven. Someday I'd like to read more about Reverend Oates.

The Witches series isn't my favorite, but among the Witches stories this is one of the best, second only to "Lords and Ladies." You'll never look at magpies in quite the same way. A very good tale, very well told. Highly recommended.

Pratchett takes the wonderful whimsy of his famous Discworld and mixes it with a dash of nasty horror. This time out Granny Weatherwax, Nanny Ogg and the other witches of their coven must protect their homeland of Lancre from an incursion by a clan of vampires who have been training themselves to be immune to such things as garlic and religious icons (it's all psychosomatic, you see). Pratchett, as always, is brilliantly funny and biting with his satire. No target is safe. As the title of the book implies, Pratchett's motto seems to be "carpe jugulum... go for the throat."

I must admit, as far as the series-within-a-series Discworld books go, it took time for me to warm up to Granny Weatherwax. She and her coven have become some of my favorites among Pratchett's creations, though, and this book was perhaps their best outing yet.

Okay, I have this odd sence of de ja vu when I read a vampire novel, I mean if you read 3 how different can the 4th be? Not this one. It's a beautiful satire and has far too many one liners and jokes like all Terry Pratchett books to really go into. It has Nanny Ogg and Granny Weatherwax two of the witches in Lancre driving out the vampires (sorry, vampyres)who were invited in by King Verence for his daughter's christening. Possibly my favorite bit, was when the older vampires are making fun of young vampires who wear bright clothes and stay up until noon and wear their hair short and tell people that their name is Pam or Agnes.... it's a very funny quick read. I also have a hard time thinking of it being a blow off. There are bits with Granny Weatherwax that make you feel you may have just read somethingg important.

Having speed-read the top 3 or 4 reviews at amazon.com, it seems that almost all complained about the point of the phoenix character...My suggestion to all those potential Prachett fans, is IGNORE THIS BALDERDASH! DON'T BE turned off by those who failed to grasp the point of this character (and why it is included) My hint to all is this: the "Vampyres" of "Don'tgonearthecastle" are "modern." The phoenix is of the "old races", like the "Pictsies" with their hilarious warrior cry of "Ta can only be one t'ousand" and so on. Each has managed to adapt in unusual and unexpectedly triumphant ways to the "new world order" that the "harmless" bloodsuckers are hypnotically trying to persuade people to adapt to. I love the duality of agnes/perdita as well as her male counterpart in the "quite reverend mightly" oats..and of course the other splendidly strange cast of characters! If this review seems more of a tease then a help to all, that because in my opinion, there is no substitute for BUYING THIS BOOK. And if u happen to be reading this book in a public spot be sure to find a somewhat sparcely populated area in the back else u're sure 2 catch some interesting glances as u laugh your way from cover to cover....

Another Pratchett book arrives with another inexpressive american cover! Pratchett's current american publisher has a penchant for abstract, crudely rendered covers most inferior to the lively, baroque cartoons used on the original english editions. (Pratchett's old american publisher, NAL, often substituted american cartoons for english, but at least they kept up with the spirit of the thing.)Is the work of Josh Kirby and other british artists being kept off american covers by some copyright convention fluke, or just the poor taste of Pratchett's american publishers?

I've read nearly all the Discworld novels and I have to say this is one of the strangest. It's not very funny, for one thing, being much darker and with a more brooding tone than the others. It's in the witches subseries and it's about vampires (the title means "Go for the throat"), but unlike the teetotaling Black Ribboners in the other books, these creatures are downright evil in the classic 19th century fictional mold of the undead. The vampires come, of course, from Uberwald, and King Verence of Lancre (the Fool that was), in a spirit of evenhanded humanity, has invited them in for his daughter's naming ceremony. Of course, the only way vampires can enter a home is by invitation, and in this case, the king's "home" is the entire country. And they have every intention of making themselves at home. Granny Weatherwax, not having received her invitation, goes off in a huff, especially, since Magrat, the youngest witch (the Maiden) has been replaced by Agnes Nitt of the split personality. Magrat, now the Queen, is also a mother (or the Mother), which means Nanny Ogg is set to be the Crone -- which doesn't please her at all. Anyway, there's also a phoenix, and a singleminded Master of Falconry, and a doubting priest of Om, and Igor the driver (it's still his name at this point; he hasn't yet become "AN Igor"). And we get to meet the Nac mac Feegle, the six-inch-high "wee free men," who paint themselves blue and love to fight, drink, and steal cattle. (Well, they are Pict-sies. . . .) Pratchett is a highly original master of the language, with such gems as "I understood every word in that sentence, but not the sentence itself." He's also a master of stealth philosophy: "This was a test. Everything was a test. Everything was a competition. You had to make choices. You never got told which ones were right. Oh, some of the priests said you got given marks afterward, but what was the point of that?" Also: "Sin, young man, is when you treat people as things. Including yourself. That's what sin is." But, while there's some good, thoughtful stuff here, it's still a strange book.

I love Terry Pratchet's Discworld novels, and I'm partial to the novels featuring the witches. This novel, however, is by far my favorite. Not only to you have Granny Weatherwax, Nanny Ogg, and Agnes Nit, you get a pack of vampires and an army of pixies -- I mean, Pictsies.

Although the Pictsies are amusing, what really makes this novel is the family of vampires who want to lead a normal life. Particularly amusing is the Count's teenage daughter, Lacci (short for Lacrimosa), who does the most un-vampiric things, like staying up until noon, wearing brightly-colored clothes, and asking her friends to call her Gertrude.

You can never go wrong with a Discworld novel, and this one in particular is amazingly funny!