I Carry Your Heart in My Heart. Family Constellations in Prison [Paperback]

Dan Booth Cohen (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: May 31, 2009

Family Constellations are unlike cognitive, behavioral, and interpersonal therapies in their origin, form, and purpose. Constellations succeed by diminishing the unconscious impulses that drive destructive behaviors. The process reaches the invisible clockworks of the mind and heart to reveal how individual problems nest within a larger tapestry shaped by ancestral family traumas. In a heartbeat, the patterns release, opening the mind to reverence for life and compassion for others. Problems that were frozen yield to new solutions. The prisoners in this book are serving long-term sentences for violent crimes, mostly life-without-the-possibility-of-parole for murder. They represent society's ultimate outcasts, personifying evil brought to justice. Sharing Family Constellations with them is actually a great privilege. These men have gone through ordeals that we can only imagine and have worked to find a way to their souls. Dan Booth Cohen spent 5 years leading monthly Systemic Family Constellation circles with these prisoners. This book tells stories of these experiences. It also includes rigorously researched chapters that describe Family Constellations' historic roots and underlying philosophy.

Editorial Reviews

Review

In this gem of a book, we are invited to journey with Dan Booth Cohen and the volunteers inside the walls of Bay State Correctional Center in Massachusetts where we meet the men of the Growing Together III programme ... and ourselves. As the inmates' stories unfold, they draw us into subtly exploring our own self-made prison walls. /.../ Dan skilfully interweaves descriptions of individual constellations and inmate reflections to introduce basic elements of the constellation process and to illustrate many of Hellinger's foundational insights. Here, in a prison setting, we are left with a heightened awareness of such key principles as: inclusion and exclusion, guilt and innocence, and healing between victims and perpetrators. /.../ The book conveys emotional depth, clarity, and grace in this new addition to our constellation library. --Mark A. Johnson, The Knowing Field, Issue 15, January 2010

In this gem of a book, we are invited to journey with Dan Booth Cohen and the volunteers inside the walls of Bay State Correctional Center in Massachusetts where we meet the men of the Growing Together III programme ... and ourselves. As the inmates' stories unfold, they draw us into subtly exploring our own self-made prison walls. /.../ Dan skilfully interweaves descriptions of individual constellations and inmate reflections to introduce basic elements of the constellation process and to illustrate many of Hellinger's foundational insights. Here, in a prison setting, we are left with a heightened awareness of such key principles as: inclusion and exclusion, guilt and innocence, and healing between victims and perpetrators. /.../ The book conveys emotional depth, clarity, and grace in this new addition to our constellation library. --Mark A. Johnson, The Knowing Field, Issue 15, January 2010

About the Author

Dan Booth Cohen is a Systemic Constellation facilitator, trainer, and author. He holds a Ph.D. in Psychology from Saybrook Graduate School and Research Center in San Francisco, an MBA from Boston University, and a BA from Connecticut College. During a 30 year professional career, he has been a business owner, corporate executive, peace activist and counselor. Dr. Cohen has worked with Systemic Constellations since 2000. He trained with Bert Hellinger and other leading trainers through the Hellinger Institute, USA. He was the liaision between Hellinger and Elias Jabbour's House of Hope International Peace Center in Israel.

Product Details

• Paperback: 159 pages
• Publisher: Carl Auer International (May 31, 2009)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 3896706314
• ISBN-13: 978-3896706317
• Product Dimensions: 8.4 x 5.4 x 0.5 inches
• Shipping Weight: 8.8 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (10 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,070,491 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars An Important Introduction September 27, 2009

By Michael Reddy

Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase

FROM THE BOOK "...our hearts hold ancestral memories of unbearable loss and immense suffering. They also recall, whole and undiminished, the feeling of unconditional love and pure joy that is the birthright of every blessed baby born."

Short paragraphs below on: WHY THE BOOK'S VALUABLE; CASE STUDIES AND EXPLANATIONS; ROOTS AND INFLUENCES; and WHO WILL GET THE MOST OUT OF THIS BOOK?

WHY IT'S VALUABLE--"I Carry Your Heart in My Heart" ranks among the best attempts to introduce and explore a radical new truth. Family constellation work is both very important and difficult to explain. There's a paradigm shift involved. We are not simply present-tense individuals. What we are includes loyalties engendered in us by a timeless family system spread across generations. Powerful explanations and behavioral tools will quite possibly elude us so long as we hold to the "individualist" fiction.

Cohen has the mind of an incisive and very well-read scholar, coupled with evocative verbal skills worthy of a poet. It's a rare combination that makes the book quite powerful--both intellectually and emotionally. Also, he's writing in English, whereas many constellation books are translations from German. Although I do have a couple of caveats, on the whole, as someone beginning to practice the work--I find myself recommending "I Carry Your Heart in my Heart" regularly.

CASE STUDIES AND EXPLANATIONS--I would not call Part One of the book a linear, or "textbook" exposition of the subject. For that, you might turn to Jakob Robert Schneider's Family Constellations. Basic Principles and Procedures.... Instead, in Part One, "Case Studies and Lessons Learned," framed by the narrative of constellations done with lifelong prison inmates--Cohen explains elements of the work as they arise. He elucidates most clearly the perpetrator-victim dynamic, which creates familial bonds even when genetics are not involved. Notable for me is his overarching vision of human reality as an interplay between "Life" (the raw thrust of blood, genes, and survival) and "the System" ("the ever-shifting container concerned with keeping its elements connected and aligned," in Cohen's words). Also, there is frank discussion here about the kinds of impacts some constellations have on some people--are they ready for what they experience? How can they be supported? Part One stands out in general as a strong, if implicit, argument for the value of restorative justice.

ROOTS AND INFLUENCES--Part Two of the book, "The Constellation Process," is invaluable for anyone trying to place this work in the larger contexts of psychology, modern science, philosophy, and ancient wisdoms. Chapter 8, "Why Constellations are Difficult to Explain or Comprehend," lays out in great detail all the ways in which the work flies in the face of our prevailing, disconnected, materialist, reductionist worldview. Then, the various influences on Hellinger (the orginator), roots and similarities found in various streams of historical thought, and modern research that supports paradigms more cordial to what happens in constellation work--all these are delineated. The list of references at the end numbers around 230, which gives you some idea of the scope here. What are "soul," "brain," and "mind" as seen both normally and through the lens of constellation work? The last two chapters delve quite deeply into these questions.

WHO WILL GET THE MOST OUT OF THIS?--While much of this book immediately accessible, parts of it are intellectually challenging. There are places where it reads somewhat like an abstract. Insights or parallels that could be explained for pages are at times compressed into a paragraph. Or there will be an intriguing and tantalizingly brief generalization followed by reference or two. On the one hand, this is good. It keeps the book short, the coverage broad, and pulls you into the vast bibliography. On the other, longer aids to understanding are not present. If you are interested in constellation work purely for reasons of your own emotional healing, you might start with John Payne's The Language of the Soul: Healing with Words of Truth (Trans-Generational Healing & Family Constellations series), or Gabriele ten Hovel's interview with Hellinger in Acknowledging What Is: Conversations With Bert Hellinger--and come back to this later. On the other hand, if you are a professional, or are interested in restorative justice, or you really want to place constellation work in the framework of evolving human knowledge--this is definitely a pivotal read. Read more ›

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars An Essential Book about Family Constellation Work August 23, 2009

By C. Donaldson

Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase

My bookshelves overflow with books about Family Constellation work--and this has become the one I recommend most. Whether you're just curious about Family Constellations, are new to the work or have studied it for years, Dan's book offers something of value. The first part describes his work at Bay State Prison in Boston where he's done constellations with prisoners serving life sentences with no possibility of parole. It's honest, warm and touching and gives a very good description of how constellations work (no small task).

The second part, which he adapted from his doctoral thesis, is compelling in other ways. I loved the connections he made between Hellinger work and different schools of therapy AND different wisdom traditions! He also didn't shy away from the hard questions. There's a section on constellations and their possible negative aftermaths. And, while it doesn't read with the formality of a thesis (thankfully), it contains a thesis' worth of references that are invaluable for someone who wants to continue to learn more about this unique form of therapeutic work.

Five stars definitely seem too few!

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars A must read for everyone interested in cutting edge therapy November 10, 2009

By Karl G. Stenholm

Format:Paperback

You've written a marvelous book and given a beautiful gift to your readers. There are so many lyrical passages and quotable sentiments that it is hard to select what to respond to. When I ask myself what struck me most profoundly in your work, I have to focus on two things, in particular.
The first, and this is a reflection after reading the first part of your work, is that truth and telling the truth have to be the most important elements in the healing process, the process of setting yourself free from emotional pain. Your clients at Bay State Correctional Center had the courage to tell the truth. As we know, this is no small matter, especially when the truth is as painful as theirs. I am amazed by their courage and profoundly moved by the depth of their struggle for dignity and a sense of self-worth. Also, it touched me deeply to learn that so many inmates you have worked with lead lives of contemplation and have a deep desire to be of service to others. Thank you for sharing their stories and reminding me that humanity wears many faces. In this same regard, I must thank you for speaking so eloquently of the bond that exists between us and anyone we feel something about, whether those feelings are joyful or filled with hatred and loathing. No one has pointed this out more simply or elegantly.
In the second part of your book I was struck by your clarity about the aim of Family Constellations and their radical departure from best practices in empirically supported psychotherapy. It seems from your data that Family Constellations are at the cutting edge of therapeutic intervention.... If I understand your work correctly, Family Constellations are a synthesis of archaic wisdom and empirically unsupported modalities as well as a previously unknown understanding of human relationships that incorporate quantum principles with profound results. I am excited by what I perceive of the potential for this therapy. What remains is to make this work a bigger part of therapeutic options in the United States. With your work as a writer and therapist you are clearly giving this gift at a time when it is sorely needed in our country. Thank you.

Appreciatively,
Carmen Read more ›

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Trauma and Transformation June 29, 2009

By Richard Lamm

Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase

Dan Booth Cohen writes: " This book is about prisoners. It is for anyone who feels trapped by emotions, circumstances, or relationships from which they cannot escape...Part of being human is our hearts hold ancestoral memories of unbearable loss and immense suffering...Nearly everyone has a part of themselves that cannot find peace or come to rest. In the silence of our dreams, in our restless thought, in the darkest places in our hearts, the terrible experiences that befell our fathers and mothers, grandparents, aunts and uncles, live on inside of us. For most of us, they appear as nightmares or panic attacks , forgetfulness or sorrow. For those men inside Bay State, they emerge as violent crimes...The stories of Family Constellations in prison and the philosophy of healing that is explored in these pages show that peace of mind,reconciliation and forgiveness are always within reach.
Anngwyn St. Just Ph.D. Director of the Arizona Center for Social Trauma and author of " A Question of Balance: A Systemic Approach to Understanding and Resolving Trauma" ( [...] )