Carry Me Over the Threshold: A Christian Guide to Wedding Traditions [Hardcover]

Kristina Seleshanko (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: December 13, 2005

Create a wedding that reflects your Christian values with this guide to wedding traditions Do you know where your favorite wedding traditions came from? Do you want to create a wedding that reflects your Christian faith and practice? From 'something borrowed, something blue' to white veils and bridal gowns, from orange blossoms to tossing rice at the happy couple, you'll learn about the meaning and historical significance of traditions for before, during, and after the wedding. For every Christian bride who wants to let her light shine, Carry Me Over the Threshold will help you create a memorable wedding that reflects your deepest spiritual values.

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Kristina Seleshanko, former adjunct instructor of writing and women's history, is the author of fourteen books, including Victorian and Edwardian Fashions for Women (featured in Martha Stewart Weddings), Victorian Fashions in America, Singing Secrets and others. Kristina also writes articles on a variety of topics for magazines such as Today's Christian Women, Woman's Day, Country Victorian, True West Journal, and Sew News.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

Carry Me Over the Threshold part 1 pre-ceremony traditions chapter 1 announcements and banns long ago, engagements and betrothals were much more public than they are today. In biblical times, Hebrews declared their matrimonial intentions to the entire community. Neighbors, friends, and family witnessed the couple's promise to marry and watched as the groom offered gifts to the bride. Often the groom's friends also gave presents --- sometimes in the form of money, which helped pay for the wedding. A grand feast followed, including eating, drinking, music, and dancing. During the Middle Ages, parents of the bride hired 'barkers' --- men who shouted out the wedding news for all the town to hear. Newspaper announcements of engagements and weddings started to appear in the eighteenth century. These were brief news accounts naming the couple and their parents, and sometimes stating the time and place of the wedding. Photographs didn't accompany such announcements until the early twentieth century; at that time, a photo of the bride --- all by herself --- was sometimes seen. Showing the couple together is a modern tradition. Throughout most of the nineteenth century, newspaper announcements were rare; most Victorians were horrified to have their picture in the newspaper --- although some engagements found their way into gossip columns. Formal handwritten notes from the bride's mother were considered the best way to announce the engagement to family and friends. Since ancient times, 'banns' have also involved the public in couples' engagements. Banns (an old English word meaning 'to summon') are announcements of wedding intentions read from the church pulpit. They are still used in many parts of the world. Banns are said to have originated with Charlemagne --- the first king to create what was called a 'Christian nation.' In the first several years of Charlemagne's reign (around AD 800), the number of children of dubious lineage was vast; Charlemagne was concerned that people were marrying half brothers or sisters without realizing it. Not only did this pose moral difficulties from the Christian standpoint, but it resulted in birth defects. Therefore, the king ordered that all marriages must be announced publicly so that anyone with information about the couple's lineage could come forward and stop the marriage, if necessary. Banns also helped prevent bigamy and lapses in betrothal agreements. Banns continued as a tradition in most Christian nations --- though today such readings are usually just a way to spread the good news. Although banns are virtually unknown in the United States (they largely passed out of fashion in the 1930s and '40s), they are still usually required if a couple wishes to be married in the Church of England. In Canada, couples must either obtain a state license or have banns read in church. bachelor parties traditionally, bachelor parties are thrown by the groom's friends to good-naturedly poke fun at his 'last night of freedom.' Some experts believe bachelor parties began in the fifteenth century, when Spartan military men would feast and toast each other the night before they married --- the same way they'd feast after a soldier's death in battle. Nonetheless, while there hasn't always been a name for it, some form of the bachelor party has probably existed for most of history. Even though drinking and philandering are closely connected to the bachelor party tradition, a more meaningful element has always graced them: the bachelor party is a way for the groom to pledge his continued friendship to his male friends, despite his change in status. No modern groom should feel he must offend or be unfaithful to his bride at his bachelor party. In fact, today's grooms often opt for bachelor parties centered around sports or events (such as taking in a baseball game or going fishing), Bible retreats (getaways to somewhat remote areas to focus on Christian fellowship and Bible study), barbeques, or some adventure the groom has always wanted to try (such as skydiving). Whatever is chosen for the party, it should be something the groom is comfortable with, and it shouldn't keep him up late the night before the wedding. (Trust me, weddings are exhausting all by themselves!) Bachelorette parties began popping up in the 1960s and '70s; some women felt bridal showers were dowdy and boring and wanted the alleged fun of drinking and strippers instead. Today bachelorette parties are less in fashion, and more creative bridal showers tend to be favored. A new twist on the bachelor party is the coed get-together. Designed as a way to celebrate with friends and family of both sexes, the coed party often includes the bride as well as the groom. betrothal in biblical times, betrothals were a vital part of marriage custom. Although betrothal is sometimes defined as 'engagement,' a betrothal is actually a different and much more serious affair. An engaged person can break off the engagement at any time without much consequence. A betrothed person cannot legally break off the betrothal, except in rare instances. Betrothals were binding agreements --- just as binding as the marriage itself. They were agreed to among witnesses, and a contract was signed. The groom sealed the contract by giving the bride gifts; in many ancient cultures, this included a betrothal ring, a forerunner of the modern engagement ring. Sometimes, in lieu of a ring, a coin was split in two; one half was given to the groom, and one half to the bride. The betrothal ceremony was followed by a party to celebrate the upcoming marriage. Among the ancient Hebrews, betrothals could be broken only for the biblical reasons given for divorce. For example, consider Mary and Joseph, Jesus' earthly parents. Because they were betrothed but not yet married, they didn't have the right to be sexually intimate; therefore, when Mary told Joseph she was pregnant, Joseph assumed she'd been with another man. A betrothed woman who was intimate with another man committed adultery, which is why Joseph considered 'divorcing' Mary (see Matt. 1:18 -- 19). Similarly, if a betrothed man promised to marry a second woman, he was considered a bigamist. The Hebrew word for betrothal (kiddushin or qiddushin) means 'to be set apart, or sanctified.' Ancient accounts of betrothals indicate they were considered real and binding --- but incomplete --- marriages. In fact, betrothed couples often called themselves 'husband' and 'wife.' Betrothal was the first step toward being married, with the wedding ceremony and consummation being the final steps. In most cases, at least twelve months elapsed between the betrothal and the wedding. Many scholars believe ancient Hebrews used the betrothal as the beginning of courtship. If a young man noticed a young woman who pleased him, he'd either go to his father (so the marriage could be arranged by the parents) or go directly to the girl's father (to see if he was willing to have his daughter married). If the fathers approved, the young man approached his chosen bride with a cup of wine --- and in some cases, a marriage contract. The young woman read the contract (which included everything from monetary issues to promises the man made to her on a personal level), and if she liked him, she drank from the wine glass, indicating a betrothal could be formed. If she pushed the glass away, she refused his offer. Until that time, most brides and grooms didn't know each other; therefore, the year between betrothal and marriage was a chance for the young man to woo his soon-to-be wife. Today there is a growing trend in the Christian community to bring back betrothals; because they're a serious commitment, they protect both parties from engagements made too lightly. In some areas of the western world, a non-binding betrothal is made between couples as a public way to make a pledge of marriage;

Product Details

• Reading level: Ages 18 and up
  
• Hardcover: 144 pages
• Publisher: Zondervan (December 13, 2005)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0310264766
• ISBN-13: 978-0310264767
• Product Dimensions: 7.2 x 5.1 x 0.8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 3.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (3 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,275,966 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Kristina Seleshanko, former adjunct instructor of writing and women's history, is the author of seventeen books, including Victorian and Edwardian Fashions for Women (featured in Martha Stewart Weddings), Carry Me Over the Threshold, Singing Secrets, and others. Currently, Kristina blogs at Proverbs 31 Woman (www.proverbsthirtyonewoman.blogspot.com), Christian Children's Book Review (www.CCBReview.blogspot.com), and Gourmet Recipe (www.blog.gourmetrecipe.com).

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A must for anyone planning a wedding, January 19, 2007

By 

G. Harris (eugene, oregon, usa) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Carry Me Over the Threshold: A Christian Guide to Wedding Traditions (Hardcover)

have this book and I've enjoyed it. I'm not sure why one reviewer here thought it was a wedding planning book. It is not.

This book looks at wedding traditions (some well-known, others not) and where they come from. I've read a lot of the wedding myth type websites, too, but there's lots of new or rarely seen information in this book. For example, the author points out that while some traditions are usually traced to pagan cultures, they can be traced back to early Christian or Jewish cultures. Not all the traditions are Judeo-Christian in origin, but a surprising number are.

Also, I love the information about unity candles. Usually, you hear they developed from a soap opera, but the author explains that this isn't true and why.

These are just some examples of information you don't usually see online or in wedding books.

The information is arranged alphabetically within these categories: pre-ceremony traditions, wedding ceremony traditions, and post-ceremony traditions. There's also an index.

Overall, a fun book to read, especially if you're getting married.

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars This book is great!!!, February 17, 2007

By 

hooray4goodbooks (Florida) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Carry Me Over the Threshold: A Christian Guide to Wedding Traditions (Hardcover)

I've really enjoyed this book because it tells about all kinds of traditions (both Christian and non-Christian) that we commonly see in weddings today! It's very informational and interesting!!!

0 of 5 people found the following review helpful:

1.0 out of 5 stars This book is a waste of money, January 4, 2007

By 

DMH (NYC) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Carry Me Over the Threshold: A Christian Guide to Wedding Traditions (Hardcover)

I bought this book thinking that it would add some insight while planning my upcoming wedding. Boy, was I wrong! All the information could be found by searching the Internet. The layout is pretty lame, and it was hard for me to look things up without reading entire sections to find the information. I can't even justify giving it one star. Spend your money on a better book.