Cartwheels in a Sari: A Memoir of Growing Up Cult [Hardcover]

Jayanti Tamm (Author)

Book Description

Release date: April 14, 2009

In this colorful, eye-opening memoir, Jayanti Tamm offers an unforgettable glimpse into the hidden world of growing up “cult” in mainstream America. Through Jayanti’s fascinating story–the first book to chronicle Sri Chinmoy–she unmasks a leader who convinces thousands of disciples to follow him, scores of nations to dedicate monuments to him, and throngs of celebrities (Sting, Pope John Paul II, Nelson Mandela) to extol him.

When the short, bald man in flowing robes prophesizes Jayanti to be the “Chosen One,” her life is forever entwined with the charismatic guru Sri Chinmoy, who declares himself a living god. A god who performs sit-ups and push-ups in front of thousands as holy ritual, protects himself with a platoon of bodyguards, and bans books, TV, and sex. Jayanti’s unusual and increasingly bizarre childhood is spent shuttling between the ashram in Queens, New York, and her family’s outpost as “Connecticut missionaries.” On the path to enlightenment decreed by Guru, Jayanti scrubs animal cages in his illegal basement zoo, cheerleads as he weight lifts an elephant in her front yard, and trails him around the world as he pursues celebrities such as Princess Diana and Mother Teresa.

But, when her need for enlightenment is derailed by her need for boys, Jayanti risks losing everything that she has ever known, including the person that she was ordained to be. With tenderness, insight, and humor, Jayanti explores the triumphs and trauma of an insider who longs to be an outsider, her hard-won decision to finally break free, and the unique challenges she confronts as she builds a new life.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Tamm's parents met in the Manhattan apartment of the guru Sri Chinmoy and quickly married each other at his insistence; when they violated his commandment not to have sex with each other, however, he regrouped by declaring that their daughter, Tamm, would become his greatest disciple. The cult leader was a skilled manipulator, and Tamm's descriptions of her internalization of his predation, constantly blaming herself for not feeling worshipful enough, are wrenching. The outward pressures were equally difficult: she was forbidden a college education and sent abroad when she was caught violating the cultwide ban on dating—and the first time she was banished from the group, she begged for readmittance. Tamm, now in her late 30s and a professor at Ocean County College in New Jersey, is unsparing in her account of the psychological damage Sri Chinmoy inflicted on her and her family, from her parent's loveless marriage to her half-brother's gleeful acceptance of the role of the guru's enforcer. She reveals the difficulties in shaking off the guru's influence—under which she had spent literally her entire life before her final expulsion—and though readers might wish to hear more about how she eventually regained her identity, the harrowing details of her story create a sense of emotional devastation that will linger. (Apr.)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

From Booklist

In this frank, clear-eyed memoir, Tamm recounts her youth as the chosen disciple of Sri Chinmoy, the wildly charismatic leader of a New York–based spiritual sect that counts celebrities and heads of nations among its millions of followers. “All of my childhood memories involve trying to obey and please guru,” Tamm writes, and with concise, absorbing detail, she describes her early years, spent playing board games such as “Disciple Chutes and Ladders” (“Did not meditate soulfully—Go back ten spaces”); her chaste but forbidden teen encounters with guys, after which the Guru reminds her, “The Supreme is your eternity’s boyfriend”; and a young-adult crisis that leads to a suicide attempt and, ultimately, her break with the cult. Tamm never sensationalizes the facts, and her narrative restraint only intensifies the emotional impact of each incident. Witty, compassionate, and often heartbreaking, Tamm’s story offers crucial insight into a cult’s inner workings and methods of indoctrination. All readers, though, will recognize universal coming-of-age themes as Tamm discards unwanted childhood lessons and begins to shape an independent adult life. --Gillian Engberg

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Hardcover: 304 pages
• Publisher: Crown; First Edition edition (April 14, 2009)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0307393925
• ISBN-13: 978-0307393920
• Product Dimensions: 8.6 x 5.9 x 1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 13.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (24 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #759,155 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Born and raised as the 'chosen one' in the cult of the guru Sri Chinmoy, Jayanti Tamm spent the first twenty-five years of her life living inside the guru's inner circle. She wrote about her life in the memoir, Cartwheels in a Sari: A Memoir of Growing Up Cult.

Today, Jayanti is an English professor at Ocean County College. She is married and can be found chasing after her toddler.

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

19 of 20 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars A real page turner July 20, 2009

By Susan

Format:Hardcover|Amazon Verified Purchase

As a student of history of religions and religious cults, I found this memoir to be very interesting indeed. I met Sri Chinmoy myself on several occasions and had many conversations with disciples of his, and Jayanti Tamm's description of him, his personality, and his relationships with his disciples conform completely to what I personally observed. Her honesty is commendable; she makes no apology for the life she lived in Sri Chinmoy's world, and she describes her crisis of faith in stark but touching detail. Tamm's writing is of the highest caliber and I read the book in one extended sitting. This book is a must for anyone interested in personality cults and the power of religious "group think."

13 of 13 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars fascinating subject June 1, 2009

By L. Pittroff

Format:Hardcover

A very interesting and insightful look into growing up in a cult. This story really portrays how "wandering souls" can get pulled into a cult group. My eyes were really opened at the authors descriptions of everyday life in a cult. It was amazing to me that the members really did nothing but work for, and try to please their Guru. The Guru was their life and they literally obeyed every order from him without question.
Growing up the author never knew another way of life. The Guru tried to keep all of his members uneducated, but the children were allowed to go to school. It was here that the author wondered why "everyone didn't have a Guru?"
After many years of questioning her commitment to her Guru, the author was able to break away from the group and start a life of her own. Considering how deeply ingrained this way of life was to her, it is amazing that she was able to get out and stay out.

13 of 14 people found the following review helpful

4.0 out of 5 stars A well written tour of how people end up in cults June 27, 2009

By Earth Momma

Format:Hardcover

As a memoir whore, I looked forward to this book and was not disappointed. Tamm offers solid, strong prose that fully probes her very unconventional upbringing. It was easy to understand how a person can't leave a cult--the mind control is overwhelming. At times the reflection might have gone on a beat too long, but it's forgivable, as this author spent about half her young life in meditation. A few years ago I read Deborah Santana's memoir, which also involves Sri Chinmoy; it was intriguing to see this closer view of him. Overall, Cartwheels is a good read.