Customer Reviews

Catch & Release the Insider's Guide to Alaska Men

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I laughed til I cried (or was it - I cried til I laughed?!) I lived the single life in Alaska for 16 years and can attest that EVERYTHING in this book is absolutely totally true. Yes, it's all in fun, but these ladies really are not joking. I could add my huntin', fishin', goodlookin' boyfriend who insisted on wearing no pants except for sweatpants. To work, nice restaurants, funerals, everywhere. I mean EVERYWHERE. Or my "Alaskan cowboy" who had a good job, nice car, dated only very successful career woman, and lived in a shack. A real SHACK! Or the redneck oil engineer making $80,000 who refused to pay any taxes because as an Alaskan he was "sovereign". (Huh?) He sued the IRS - I said HE sued THEM - they had a field day. Or the nice, polite man I had dated 4 times until the day I happened to get behind him in traffic and saw his bumper sticker, "Follow too close & I'll flip a booger on your windshield". Alaska man magazine, Alaskan men on the Oprah show? Oh Pahleeze! Ladies, ladies, please save yourself from heartbreak, disappointment, and your life savings. Don't go to Alaska expecting to find a husband. This book tells the sad, myth shattering, and very funny truth of the "Great Alaskan Man".

Although the odds are no longer good (the male/female population ratio in Alaska is now 50/50), you won't have to go far to find a woman who will vouch for the truth of the second part of that statement! For women, Catch and Release, by Alaska residents Jane Haigh, Kelley Hegarty-Lammers and Patricia Walsh, is a very entertaining guide to identifying and finding the Alaska man of your dreams. For guys, it provides a look at the competition - why does the term "Alaska men" have such a mystique to it?

The first Alaska man, we discover in the first few pages of the book, came across the Bering Land Bridge from Asia some 10,000 years ago. Why did he come? Well, "...he did it because he needed to sow some wild oats and he wanted a good hunting story to tell his buddies." When the Russians settled Alaska, there were few women: "Thus, the pattern of self centered Euro-Alaska Bachelors was established..." The construction of the Alaska Highway "...further enhances the can-do machismo of the Alaska man and provides direct overland access for women to pursue them." And thus is the mood of the rest of the book lightly set.

While the history provides interesting background material, the next chapter on Lifestyles gets into the important stuff for women who are thinking about heading North on a hunting trip. The tips on identifying lifestyles ranging from Architect to Bush-Dweller, Dog musher, M.C.P. and Zoologist can save you a lot of time. For example, if mechanics are your type generally, "Keep in mind that an unemployed mechanic may fix your car when it breaks down at 40 below; one with a job won't have time." The illustrated guide to footwear will also be of great benefit - knowing whether those are Lobens or Bunny boots on his feet will allow you to start talking about his probable interests as an ice-breaker, for example.

"Women think these guys can change if only they have the love of a good woman ...it's a seductive myth."

Woman boarding the plane home.

Now that you have a good outline of the possibilities, where do you find your Alaska Man? I'm glad you asked, because the next 50 pages tell you exactly that - the communities, the places and the types of men to be found. In downtown Juneau during the summer, the authors tell us, there's hardly a local guy to be found - one of the few exceptions being the Red Dog Saloon, where some Alaska men go to meet tourists. In Talkeetna, the base for most climbs of Denali, "your chances of meeting attractive, single climbers from all over the world are high; your chances of distracting them from their peak quest are low." Coldfoot, on the Dalton Highway, offers the chance to meet "truck drivers, miners, sourdoughs, and permanent bachelors at this 'manly' kind of place." Nome is the best party town in Alaska when the Iditarod ends, but an aggressive nature is needed to be part of it. And in every community, the post office is a good bet: "Some have bulletin boards inside or out; some have a paper back book trading corner; all have a number of locals chatting about jobs, things for sale, travel, or their love life. Remember, the longer they've been in the community, the lower their post office box number. If you're looking for the seasoned type, linger at the section with box numbers 1 - 75."

There's one firm rule that needs to be mentioned now - Alaska men like sports and outdoor recreation. The specifics vary, but if you want to be with your potential mate very much, be prepared to learn the lingo and brave the elements. Before you agree to going with him, though, a little research can save you a lot of grief. For example, "...when he asks if you want to go on a canoe trip on the Porcupine River, be sure you can find the Porcupine River on the map. Oh yes, there it is, way up there in the far right corner, 100 miles by air from Eagle. (Where's Eagle? Trust us, it's at least five major arguments away, if you're stuck with an inconsiderate lunatic.) Our advice: try a day trip first." And here you thought that the research for writing this book would have been all fun!

From various types of boating to gold mining and skiing, there are many tips on what to do and say - and what you should avoid. If you can clean his fish using the method described, "...your male companion will likely be ready to propose marriage!" Regardless of how well you can field dress a moose, though, you probably won't be invited on any hunting trips, seen by the authors as "an elaborate ritual of male bonding."

Before you head out into the great outdoors, be sure to memorize the chapter "sex and the Alaska man" in which the most important tips are, of course, the four rules for making love in a tent. Before your mind wanders too far off in that direction, I'll add that those tips should probably be read in conjunction with the glossary, where Commitment is defined as "Not present in the Alaska Man's vocabulary."

Scattered throughout the book are quotes about Alaska men, and photos and comments about some of their housing choices. These are the two main features that make the book such a delight for me. Most of the quotes and descriptions would be funny even if they were stretching the truth a bit. The fact that they're accurate makes them even funnier. It really should be obvious why there's a filing cabinet in the back yard, though!

Catch and Release is a book that I pick up and read sections of quite often when I need a chuckle. It's clear that Jane, Kelley and Patricia had a great deal of fun writing the book, and they've done a great job of sharing their experiences.

Happy hunting, ladies!

After 10 years of living in Alaska and attempting to date these mythic creatures, I can only tell you that I'd add one last chapter myself, entitled "Bro Before Ho". I'll let you think about that one...