Customer Reviews

Catholic Etiquette: What You Need to Know about Catholic Rites and Wrongs

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As a lifelong or "cradle" Catholic, I mechanically followed the rituals of the Church - genuflecting, dipping my fingertips into the holy water, making the sign of the cross, etc... During Mass, I stood, sat, and kneeled on cue without hesitation, but also with little thought.

This engaging book, while perhaps targeted at those recently converting (or considering) to Catholicism, in a few short chapters, enriched my understanding of my own faith. By exploring the historical origins of the many rituals and customs in a straightforward and easy-to-read manner, Ms. Isca has enhanced my Catholic education.

This book was given to me by a friend while I was taking the "re-embering" class at church. I had a lot of basic questions that were a little to basic for the nun to answer. Bless her heart, she just knew too much and never got her answers basic enough for my questions. A friend in my class gave me the book because she understood what it was I was asking and knew the book had the answers.

I really enjoyed reading this book. Like I said, it answered so many questions. I wanted to know what I was supposed to be doing at mass and not make all the mistakes other people make because they are just doing what they see other people do.

I am now sponsoring a girl who is considering becoming a Catholic and I gave her the book for Christmas because I know she will find it helpful. This is a great book for non-catholics or new ones.

The author was a former Protestant, and so she explains a lot of the differences between the two religions, both philosophical differences and visible differences. I would recommend the book for non-Catholics who want to know why Catholics do the things they do, or those who might have occasion to attend a Catholic mass, funeral, baptism, confirmation, or other event, and want to know the proper things to do. It is also useful for recent converts to the Catholic religion because the author answers the questions she had herself. It's a very good book that I believe to be accurate, and is entertaining at the same time.

Kay Lynn Isca was raised a Protestant and is well aware that some Catholic practices and customs may be confusing to new Catholics and to some cradle Catholics as well. For Protestants with close Catholic friend's things can be particularly confusing if they are called on to attend Catholic weddings, funerals, or other events that are particular to the Catholic faith. This book is intended to relieve some of the anxieties of the confused and point out what is correct and what is not.

Mrs. Isca writes in a very pleasing way and often makes her point with personal experiences. There is no doctrine or dogma here, just simple etiquette for various situations that may be faced both by Catholics and their friends and relatives. We all wonder sometimes whether a gift is appropriate in a certain situation and if so what kind of gift it should be. Most people are also faced with honorariums for weddings and funerals and have no idea how much should be given. During my former life in the funeral industry I was asked many times, "How much should we pay the preacher?" Those are among the many questions and concerns that the author deals with in this book. I found her chapter on children at Mass to be very informative and would highly recommend that any new parent take the time to read this chapter. Of course I would also recommend this chapter to anybody else who has a tendency to grouch about noisy children in Church.

I did find one thing in this book that bothered me and it involves a practice that I and most of the Catholics I know are in the habit of. Mrs. Isca says this practice is wrong and she may well be right but she never explains why it is wrong. It would have helped the author's credibility a great deal had she explained her statement at least a little. This was the only thing in this book that I didn't find to be right on the mark and also very helpful. The author even deals with the proper response for a Catholic caught in several situations that might cause hard feelings if handled incorrectly. For example, if a Catholic attends a dinner party on a Friday during Lent and finds themselves being served a plate of beef should they eat it or leave it and risk offending their non-Catholic host?

This book will be helpful to all Catholics who read it but more so for new Catholics. It will be worth it's weight in gold to someone who is planning a mixed wedding or to any non-Catholic who has a close Catholic friend or family member. I know there are going to be times that my Baptist wife may have to rely heavily on this book. There is nothing deep or theological here, just some plain common sense advice on the etiquette of the Catholic Church.

When I married my husband (an agnostic) in the Catholic church, he had no idea about what was going on. Most wedding ceremonies in the media are Protestant and he thought all weddings were like what he saw on tv. This book helps him understnad what's going on in any Catholic ceremony. Now he knows in what parts he can participate in, which ones he can't, and why.

I highly recommend this book for anyone in a "mixed marriage." Many Catholic family affairs involve the Church and non-Catholics need to know what's going on!

As a converted Catholic, there were many things that were never explained to me. This book breaks it down in simple and understandable language. This book has been extremely helpful to me.

I was very pleased with the book. It helped me to understand what is going on and I didn't feel that everyone was watching me.

Catechesis in the seventies and eighties left out much of the reasons for our Catholic Traditions and this text helps fill in some of the gaps! It's light reading but very informative.
Karen Estock Yash, DIrector of Religous Education

As another reviewer notes, it seems to be about 'How to Be a Catholic Somewhere in Indiana.' I hoped to read through it and pass it on to my convert-niece to help her know what to do in 'Catholic' situations she was not brough up with. But I found things in it that are not helpful, and rather than mark up the book with, 'No - she's wrong' or 'Not everywhere,' in the margins, I just shelved the book.

For example, in a Q & A on whether to eat meat one had been served on a Friday in Lent, she says, 'In my opinion, you were correct' to eat the steak. Her 'opinion'? That you should violate the rule of abstinence on Fridays in Lent instead of explaining to your hosts the practice, and witnessing to them that you take your faith seriously? The principle here seems to be, 'rather than make anyone else uncomfortable, you should compromise your Catholicism.' This does not inspire my confidence in the author.

Some of the questions - like the one about eating meat on a Friday in Lent - weren't really about etiquette, but practicing the faith. For example, the question about people who were visiting some Protestants and were not allowed the opportunity to go to Mass: what should they do next time? The advice was correct - but it was about commonsense planning to make sure you get to Sunday Mass while on holiday. It has nothing to do with 'etiquette.'

If someone comes to this book REALLY baffled about things Catholic, and what to do in various situations, of course it will be a help. For a convert, it is a good place to begin. But it is NOT definitive, it is NOT comprehensive, and it is NOT 100% reliable. I have no doubt that it will NOT become the 'Emily Post' of Catholic etiquette, simply because almost everyone can object to things she has said or find situations that are not covered. For the things that I wanted to know, I would have to look in another book. Fortunately, there are notes at the end of every chapter. But if this is a book called 'Catholic Etiquette,' then it really should cover Catholic etiquette, and not send the reader to other books.

The book's a good idea, but the title is misleading and the information is not helpful outside certain narrow parameters within Catholicism. I wonder if it would be more useful if the writer had read a few general books on etiquette (Miss Manners or Emily Post, for example), to know the kinds of things people really want to know when they pick up a book on etiquette.

Use it as a beginning text, but take the advice with a grain of salt. I could probably follow much (not all) of this advice if I were home in the western US, but if I followed it where I live now (Poland), I'd stick out like a sore thumb.

'Keep your eyes on your hostess' or the most socially experienced person in the group, 'and follow her lead' is the advice my mother gave me. That advice goes for readers of this book, because if you find yourself outside the region or country or ethnic tradition assumed in this book, you may find yourself doing the wrong thing. Watch what others do - especially the ubiquitous elderly Catholic 'church ladies' - and you'll have a good model to follow. (At the very least, if you follow the lead of the elderly 'church ladies,' no one will scowl at you in disapproval. This I learned from attending Mass in many nations: the most exacting are the elderly church ladies. If THEY don't 'tsk-tsk' over your manners, NO ONE will.)

This book was written by a convert, like myself, who so enjoys the Catholic Faith. Her book details guidelines of what to do and what not to do within the Catholic Church. It is very thorough and in much detail. If you need some guidelines pertaining to the Catholic ways within the Church, you will enjoy this book.