Customer Reviews

A Catholic Handbook for Engaged and Newly Married Couples

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3 star:		(2)
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I bought this book when I was engaged. I read it, loved it, and put it on the book shelf. I pulled it out again, right after we were married. Again, the book was fresh, and I gained new insights about marriage and my new husband. Now, 2 years later, I read it again, and found it to be filled with valuable information. Whatever stage your relationship is in, you will benefit from this little book. The information is all faithful to Church teachings, and written for the good of the family. It includes the Church's teaching on children and birth control, rules for fighting fair, and other important issues for a truly happy, lifelong love affair with your spouse. It's easy to read, and has fabulous appendixes in the back about the Catechism of the Catholic Church, going to confession, choosing friends, how to contact helpful groups like Engaged Encounter, Marriage Encounter, and the Couple to Couple League. My favorite appendix has a beautiful daily prayer for married couples. We give this book to all our engaged and married friends. It has helped us so much as we strive to live our lives with God at the center of our marriage.

I think the book should be retitled "A Catholic handbook for pre-engaged and engaged and newly married couples" -- The questions in the back for engaged couples are incredibly helpful for couples to discuss before discerning their vocation of marriage together. Any Catholics in a serious relationship considering marriage should read it and discuss it together. Dr. Marks does a wonderful job of spelling out the necessary qualities for a successful Catholic marriage and the importance of a lifelong committment. Plus, it has the all-important Nihil Obstat and Imprimatur, meaning it is in line with Roman Catholic teaching.

This book is a must for any Catholic engaged to be married. I am a life-long Catholic, but my fiance is not. He has developed in interest in Catholicism and this book was great to read and discuss together. The book not only gave us further insight into the teachings of the Catholic church, it also taught us alot about ourselves. EXCELLENT BOOK.

First let me note that this review applies to the 1994 edition of this book. The more recent edition may have improved; but be careful if you order the book used, as you may get the '94 book without realizing it!

Marks gets plus marks for othodoxy and fidelity to Church teaching. He does quite accurately represent Catholic teaching on marriage and sexuality. The questions at the back of the book are also quite well done, I think; this might be the one part of the book that I found really useful.

However, the book suffers from disorganization: it appears to skip around from one idea to an entirely unrelated idea. The writing style is not particularly polished, either, which isn't necessarily bad. But in this case, I also have questions about Marks' qualifications for writing this book. It's clear that he knows Church teaching, but has he done any exhaustive study on the many practical psychological, emotional, or sexual aspects of marriage which he covers? It appears that his only qualification for writing this book is that he himself has been married-- which doesn't exactly make him an expert! In summary, I didn't find this as helpful as other reviewers appear to have found it.

This is a HIGHLY reccommended book for catholic couples. It was reccommended to us by our priest who strongly urged us to both read it during our marriage preparation. This is a lifelong decision, everything should be done to thoroughly prepare for a heaven-bound relationship.

This book is excellent! It was very easy to read and to understand. I think every engaged Catholic couple should have to read this book as a requirement through their diocese.

Marks' "Handbook" was clearly written with the best of intentions, but it sometimes falls short in crucial ways.

The word choices, for example, are often too impersonal, making human beings sound more like machines or objects than persons. Too much of this language could be gravely misleading, especially in our already excessively technologized & dehumanizing "culture of death." An excellent corrective may be found, however, in Karol Wojtyla's personalist classic "Love and Responsibility."

The brief section on "headship," to choose another example, neither cites nor refers to any recent papal teaching, though there has been quite a bit in the current pontificate. This oversight is frankly inexcusable. Readers absolutely must take it upon themselves to read Pope John Paul II's "On the Christian Family in the Modern World" (Familiaris Consortio) sections 22-25, "On the Dignity and Vocation of Women" (Mulieris Dignitatem) sections 6-10 and 24, and "Pope John Paul II on the Genius of Women" (collected & published by the USCCB).

Overall, I would say that Catholic engaged & newly married couples need resources that will better introduce them to Christian personalism and the theology of the body. You might read Marks' "Handbook," but you should definitely supplement it.