Customer Reviews

The Bad Catholic's Guide to Wine, Whiskey, & Song: A Spirited Look at Catholic Life & Lore from the Apocalypse to Zinfandel (Bad Catholic's guides)

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I just finished reading this book and I can't recommend it highly enough. When John Zmirak emailed about the new book I ordered it immediately since I doubted my local Catholic book store would carry it. Though if you do find it in a Catholic book store you might be tempted to take it out in a brown paper bag (which is quite appropriate for a book on alcohol) so that you don't lose your pious creds among other store shoppers.

I had previously reviewed their first book Bad Catholics Guide to Good Living which I also enjoyed. This book takes the same format and applies it to the many intersections of the Catholics Church and the making of various spirits.

Take equal parts history, drinking songs, teleology, odd facts, monastery brewers, and add a heaping measure of humor you start to get an idea of what this book is like. At close to 400 pages this is a fairly long book and what I think is an amazing accomplishment that it is both informative and funny throughout. Seldom has one book made me laugh out loud as many times as this one did. The footnotes are also a major part of the book. If you are inclined to not read footnotes, do not do that with this book. Sometimes the footnotes provide fascinating information and sometimes they are just jaw-achingly funny.

The book covers various alcohols literally from A - Z and also contains segments on loopholes to the Ten Commandments throughout the book. This is a book only Catholics could write in the first place. There is not exactly a rich Baptist tradition between breweries and vineyards. While I was aware that many monasteries throughout history had their hand in these arts, it is rather amazing just how many connections there are of intersections between the Church and alcohol. Though not really surprising considering the miracle of Cana and wine used as the species for the Holy Eucharist. This history is quite fascinating just reading straight, but the authors punctuate this history with many funny moments. Their are also many strange but true facts scattered throughout the book that you would think they were just part of the authors well developed humor. One being a quote from anti-Catholic and just strange John Harvey Kellogg (yes founder of the cereal) who ironically turns out to be a flake.

Another great thing about the book is that while these are Bad Catholic guides, the authors themselves are quite serious Catholics (if serious can be applied to them) and when they include discussion of Church teaching and theology throughout the book it is quite good. The swipes they take at both progressive and Rad Trad Catholics are also fun. Some people will pick up the book expecting something else and will discover that not only that Catholics aren't Puritans, but they will see aspects of the faith quite well presented.

There are also some very funny comparisons in various tables included my favorite being the comparison between Lager Beer and Infallible Papal Declarations. Another hilarious section is a critique of some of the songs you will find sung at most Masses.

" "Here I am, Lord." This hymn depicts a human soul responding to the call of Christ--but the music is whiny and grim, evoking in most people's minds a can of rancid potted meat, being slowly spread by windshield wipers across a plate of dirty auto glass. You hear Christ calling all right--but you feel like He's some hobo who's tapping at your window at 4 a.m. to wake you from a sound sleep so He can ask you directions to Dunkin' Donuts. You don't so much want to answer Him as clock him with a slipper. Sung in a sleepwalking, zombie rhythm, its use at Communion time produces a strikingly cinematic effect, which film critics have dubbed "The Church of the Living Dead." Here again, we have a chance to bring good out of evil: In preliminary tests, use of this song by military interrogators has proved successful, slightly more humane replacement for water-boarding."

As you would expect on a book covering this subject they do cover the discussion of drunkenness and the virtue of temperance. I also loved that fact that they made the comparison between people going to Whole Foods to buy pristine and purer organic foods and at the same time pumping their bodies full of hormones through birth control, a point I have made myself. This book is just flat-out funny and informative and one that I would highly recommend this book along with the first one in the series.

. . . romp through all things Catholic (A to Z) with an emphasis on the many contributions Catholics have made through the years in the realm of good singing -- and delicious potables!

The commentary, while truly very funny, is also quite enlightening -- and I can't wait to try some of the recipies! And the musical parodies? To DIE for!

Incidentally, for those who might think that a humorous book poking a bit of fun at the Church must be coming from a revisionist agenda -- think again! The theology presented here is quite orthodox -- and the liturgical tastes of the authors definitely seem sympathetic with the traditionalist!

Yes, it's possible to be a person of faith -- and to have a great deal of fun. This book is living proof!

Very, VERY highly recommended!

After describing the German Kaiser's reconquest of Alsace-Loraine from France in the Franco-Prussian War and his persecution of the region's Catholics, which occurred while the forces of the Kingdom of Italy kept the Pope a prisoner in the Vatican, and which was followed by the Paris Commune's murder of dozens of French clergy and religious, author John Zmirnak writes, "All in all, the 1870s may have been even worse for the Church than the 1970s ... hard as that might be to believe." (From the entry "Gewurztraminer: The Alsacians Need Better Neighbors.") If the idea of combining libations, cuisine, history, orthodoxy, humor, and political incorrectness appeals to you, then this is your book. Highly recommended.

John Zmirak and Denise Matychowiak's "The Bad Catholic's Guide to Wine, Whiskey & Song" is a hoot. If you look up "snarky" in the Catholic dictionary, you'll find a picture of this book. You'll find the answers to questions like:

* Why do Kentucky whiskeys bear the name of the famous French royal house of Bourbon?

* How did pisco become the national drink of Peru? (See answer below)

* Is vodka Russian or Polish in origin?

It's a random walk through the history of Christendom, viewed from an epicure/enophile perspective. Thoroughly Catholic in its attitude and orthodoxy, chock full of recipes (Matychowiak is a chef), The Bad Catholic's Guide to Wine, Whiskey & Song takes the givenness and goodness of creation and physicality seriously. They explain historical events like the Quietist heresy in France using references to things like Bobby McFerrin's hit, "Don't Worry, Be Happy." It's a funny celebration and will leave you chuckling and gabbing with friends. Highly recommended.

Oh, and about that pisco:
"[Catholic clergy] march[ed] through the country on foot[,] learning a dozen languages to preach the Gospel without the benefit of gunpowder. . . . When the priests saw the conquistadors robbing the country of everything not nailed down, and enslaving the natives to work in silver mines, they started defending the Indians' rights and organizing them on farms. Jesuits taught the Indians to grow grapes and ferment them. . . . Enraged Iberian vintners -- don't cross these people, trust us -- rioted for their right to soak the colonials, and in 1614, the ever-meddling Spanish Crown outlawed the sale of Peruvian wine.

The ever-crafty Jesuits applied their scientific training to invent a new drink which fit neatly through a loophole in the law -- a brandy that was soon named for the earthenware containers which held it, piskos. . . . '[P]isco' soon caught on throughout New Spain, and gave the long-suffering Indians an industry they could count on . . . ."

Having marinated in a WASP stew for a few hundred years, too many English-speaking Catholics, especially Catholics who really believe in their wild and wonderful Church, have adopted many of the Puritan excesses and general love-of-drudgery that manna-lovers since at least Webber have credited with economic efficiency and well-being.

To that, these authors provide a well-deserved razzberry, accompanied by two-handed ear-wagging. A celebration of culture, history, and faith, all delivered with good humor and all of which involve spirited feasting, drinking, and dancing - some of which (as the Baptists often warn) could lead to slow dancing!!

My perfect book finally sees print. This has it all: booze making monks, good food, good music, excellent history, harmless fun, politically incorrect ideologue smashing humour, and (mostly) orthodox Catholicism.

One of the most underrated books of all time, and the exact gift to give to joyless Puritans or the frozen-chosen.

And presents the best case ever I've seen for FEAST DAYS being FEAST DAYS!

Deserves to be AMAZON's No. 1 Best Seller.

Just like the first book in this series, you will laugh and learn. This book makes a great gift, not only to your "religious" friends but also to many of your not so religious friends and family. This is not a preachy book, just a fun, orthodox book.

My own personal favorite chapter is Jagermeister:The talking Jesus Deer.

Get the book for yourself and a copy for a friend.

For those who love humor, and especially religious related humor, I highly recommend this book. The short "chapters" mean that one can pick up this book when one has a moment and put it down again. I gave it as a gift to someone who is a young adult, and he loved it. The recipes in the book are also amusing and helpful.

It is difficult to say anything about this book that has not been said already. Be sure to check out the 1st book in the series too: The Bad Catholic's Guide to Good Living

1) It is irreverent... but FULL OF LOVE for the Church and Her history.

2) It is funny and campy, but proclaims the truth.

3) It has great drinking songs that gently poke fun at protestants...

4) And best of all, great drink recipes and party ideas.

All in all... AWESOME BOOK.

Tolkien on life & a bottle of wine: "The unseemly cobwebs & dust, and the stained label, are not always signs of impaired contents, for those who can draw old corks" (Letters of J.R.R. Tolkien, 1981:337).

Within the bubbly subject matter of this fun book lurks deep theology, for Catholics and non-Catholics alike. By the time you hit "N," subjects become deeper and more complex. There's a remarkable essay under "Purim," only marred by glib remarks about the Third Reich, within the "Celebrate" section with the recipe for Hamantaschen. Yet "Cider" vividly describes faith, that "the love He showed in entering our life and sharing our death is vaster than the galaxies" (31). The section on Drambuie is one of the best summations of the British wars against Jacobite "papistry" I've encountered. Stout moves from Guinness (you have to try Guinness Foreign Extra) to an insightful refutation of anti-Catholic fundamentalists. All that nonsense about "proof-texts" is what people like Hahn bring into the Church. The authors quote columnist Joseph Sobran: "As a Catholic, I take my hat off to 'Bible Christians' . . . it must be admitted we can't hold a candle to these folks. They can quote rings around us, Scripture-wise. What do we know? When they cite a verse like Second Ben-Hur 26:19, we can only take their word for it" (p. 288). The authors go on to describe a priceless theological debate at LSU.

Intruding on the bubbly, the unsavoury sausage of politics at times swamps the light of truth. Trite glibness is where the humor falls flat. Many KKK members were anti-Catholic Democrats, but Rebulicans are lumped with the KKK (98); Lincoln was a Republican. English Anglicanism are rightly attacked, but the authors actually call Jews a "race," hard to believe in this day and age (258). The lame jokes about the Third Reich, architecture, and Penn station don't work (92). Nor does the statement that "The Irish indeed formed America's first underclass" (102). Does booze make one forget about what native peoples endured with the "discovery" of the Americas by Europeans, or the underclass of slaves in the historic South? There is a wonderful section on Loretto, brilliant. Too bad it's followed a bit of cherry-picked history about California and Montepulciano. The friars did not fight "for indigenous rights against land-hungry white settlers" (158). The Indians were enslaved by the "hard-working friars" and forced into labor, they died by the thousands. Catholics have been and are persecuted (and have been guilty of this). Let's use that Catholic compassion to relate to others without minimizing historical truth. History is a mess; if folks aim to be PC, at least try not to rewrite the past. Overall, the book's odd organization is as confusing as the Catechism. The whiskey section is a throw-away, and you can't find Mead under "M." There appears to be nothing on port and sherry, or much on brandy. Ales are scattered throughout, but those Belgians are covered under "Trappist." An index would have been invaluable! But despite flaws, this entertaining book provides a unique and rich exploration of faith twined with yeast.

As to those Trappist Belgian Ales, life's delight, they consist of: Achel, Chimay, Koningshoeven (the Netherlands), Orval, Rochefort, Westmalle, Westvleteren. The most richly delicious is Affligem Tripel. The Affligem Abbey brewery was last destroyed during WWII, but the monks preserved their brew's original alchemy. Affligem Abbey retains ownership of the recipe (don't let the Heineken brand throw you). Affligem Tripel has the highest percentage of alcohol by volume, but that's not the only reason to keep a bottle sweating in the fridge, awaiting your pleasure. Affligem Tripel has a unique light mead flavour, not too sweet, a complexity achieved with only a few pure ingredients. Other beers can't mimic it; Chimay and Westmalle remain bland disappointments. I even prefer it to oak-aged Russian Imperial Stout, and that's saying something. Don't miss the toasty flavour of the yeast floating like gold at the bottom of the bottle, the last glass of ale tastes even better than the first. This fun, informative book and the delights of Guinness and Affligem Tripel make it good to be bad.