Caught in the Headlights: Ten Lessons Learned the Hard Way [Paperback]

Barry Phillips (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: June 2, 2008

Have you ever gotten what you wished for, only to discover that it's not really what you wanted after all? We've all had those deer in the headlights moments when we realize we've been chasing after the wrong things. Caught in the Headlights is a frank, insightful look at 10 key goals most of us think we want - only to discover our eyes are on the wrong prize. Barry Phillips not only entertains but also examines common values and enlightens us to the goals we should seek, and what to do differently now that we know better. From goals such as happiness, self-esteem, protecting our pride, or the perfect physique, Phillips takes a closer look at those aims prized by society and explores how we can pursue higher goals. A thoughtful, funny, and at times profound look into the real reasons we all have for the things we do, this book will entertain, enlighten, and inspire.

Editorial Reviews

Review

I know I'm reviewing a lot of good books lately, but I've been taking a little break from life and just immersing myself in good reading. A foreword by Glenn Beck was all I needed to pick up the book, Caught in the Headlights: Ten Lessons Learned the Hard Way by Barry K. Phillips. Endorsements by author, Jason F. Wright, Congressman Chris Cannon and radio personality, Pat Gray got me to open the book. Barry's writing and his sense of humor kept me reading. From the back cover we learn a little more about the book: We've all had those 'deer in the headlights' moments when we realize we've been chasing the wrong things. Caught in the Headlights: Ten Lessons Learned the Hard Way is a frank, insightful look at 10 key goals most of us think we want--only to discover our eyes are on the wrong prize. Barry K. Phillips not only entertains, but also examines common values and enlightens us to the goals we should seek, and what to do differently now that we know better. Phillips is a writer, comedian and cartoonist. This was one of the most delightful and informative books I've read in quite some time. He covers ten different topics, such as: Happiness, self-esteem, pride, freedom, control, tolerance, forgiveness, success, the big event and the perfect body. All things each of us pursues at one time or another in our lives. Phillips helps us, through self-deprecating humor, to come to the realization that what we want isn't always exactly what we need. One of my favorite parts of the book is near the beginning, a humorous disclaimer. Playing off the What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas slogan for the city of sin, Phillips offers the following disclaimer to those indulging in the darker side of life in Las Vegas: Offer valid for persons with no conscience or moral character only. Persons being condemned at the judgment seat to a toasty place in hell may not use this offer as a legal and binding contract. While Satan was involved in the creation of this offer, he cannot be held responsible for your actions. After all, he IS Satan. Persons repenting later may experience a shortness of breath, deep sorrow, and excessive amounts of regret. Offer intended for the use of our regular, soulless clientèle only. Offer not valid where prohibited, including all aspects of your life once you return home. When I stopped rolling on the floor with laughter, I found it oddly profound. I mean, really, think about what that slogan offers the takers: What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. But Phillips is right, as he points out. God knows what happened in Vegas too. Ouch! Each chapter is accompanied with a delightful cartoon and insightful commentary on life and the things we can learn, if we are only willing. I think once you've read this book, you'll find it one you'll return to often. Only 104 pages it's a quick, fun read with some lasting lessons. --Candace E. Salima

About the Author

Barry K. Phillips is the proud father of five children and the husband to one patient, long-suffering, patient, understanding, patient wife. He is the cofounder and president of PrimeWellness, Inc., a technology company that creates online health and wellness centers. Barry has consulted and trained extensively with Fortune 500 companies in the areas of leadership, mentoring, problem solving, decision making, public speaking, and more. He has authored or coauthored several training courses in those same areas that are still used in corporate America today. Formerly, Barry was editor-in-chief for an international computer magazine. He has also written for Glenn Beck's Fusion magazine and contributes regularly to politicalderby.com. Barry enjoys writing, cooking, hot-air ballooning (contrary to popular belief, he does require a burner to create the hot air), woodworking, sports, and spending time with his family - apparently, they're tired of changing the locks.

Product Details

• Paperback: 116 pages
• Publisher: Cedar Fort (June 2, 2008)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1599551675
• ISBN-13: 978-1599551678
• Product Dimensions: 8.6 x 5.8 x 0.6 inches
• Shipping Weight: 6.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (4 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #8,545,698 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

5.0 out of 5 stars Fun, insightful and helpful!, July 26, 2008

By 

A. Pohren (IA United States) - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)    (REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Caught in the Headlights: Ten Lessons Learned the Hard Way (Paperback)

As the title indicates - and a perfectly fitting title for this work, I may add - many of us would be struck dead in our tracks with the realization that what we once thought most important in our lives, really may not be so. Or, perhaps, a more fitting way of wording the prior statement would be that many of us go about things a bit differently than we should. If we were to step back and re-evaluate what we really want out of life, there just may be a way to go about getting it, or something similar, but actually end up getting even more than we bargained for in the end.

In Caught In The Headlights, Mr. Phillips discusses ten key areas that everyone, or most everyone, experiences in life. These are as follows:

1) Happiness
2) Self-Esteem
3) Pride
4) Freedom
5) Control
6) Tolerance
7) Forgiveness
8) Success
9) The Big Event
10) The Perfect Body

In each section, the author discusses his personal experiences and how he came to realize what each of these things truly mean - not just by definition, or general public ideas/knowledge - but by delving within not only self, but soul searching truth. Mr. Phillips presents his findings in not only a knowledgeable way, but one filled with great humor and interest. He ends each section with what I consider a "summary poem". I loved this and thought it was very clever. Also, at the beginning of each section, the reader will find a hand drawn cartoon from the author. I think of these cartoons as "humor truth". Meaning they present a truth of our society, which many overlook, in a humorous and fun way. I loved these, as well.

While reading Caught In The Headlights, I found myself agreeing, on many points, with the author. I was especially interested in Mr. Phillips take on true happiness. Often, it is difficult to not think of happiness as that burst of excitement, or rush that one receives when something great happens. I feel that many times, that may be how addictions start - needing to feel that "rush" again and again, which we associate with happiness. However, as the author states, this is more describing of pleasure. How easy it is to mix the two up. While Mr. Phillips settles on peace as the truth of happiness, I would agree, but also attach contentment to that. This is the theme of Caught In The Headlights. Much of what we think we desire and want in life, is actually something else entirely.

In summary, at least in my opinion, the book shows how many people in today's society, are so utterly single minded and suffering from extreme tunnel vision, whether they may realize it or not. Life has become so heartbreakingly fast paced, that many lose sight of what is truly important. It is not ourselves that bring forth true happiness, success and freedom, but it is what we do for those around us. We, as a people, are very important, yes, but it is what we do for others that makes the most impact. By helping others, we in turn help ourselves and bring positive impact into our own lives. This will then bring into our own lives, true happiness, self-esteem, pride, freedom, control, tolerance, forgiveness, success, and pleasure in a possible forth-coming big event. As far as the perfect body goes, well, as long as we take care of ourselves, to the best of our ability, by eating well and physical activity, our bodies will thank us for it greatly. As the old saying goes - a healthy mind and a healthy body go hand in hand.

Caught In The Headlights is a short and to the point book, filled with great advice. It is presented in a fun to read way and is a book that everyone would do well to read. Barry K. Phillips blends together many talents - self-help advice, poetry, cartoon illustrating and excellent humor. I advise everyone to grab a copy of this and even have a highlighter handy to highlight those not to be missed points!

4.0 out of 5 stars Funny, thoughtful, read a chapter a week, July 21, 2008

By 

Shirley Bahlmann "Shirley Bahlmann" (Wild West) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Caught in the Headlights: Ten Lessons Learned the Hard Way (Paperback)

REVIEW:
First of all, whoever thought up the great title gets a gold star.
This book has the great premise of examining things you think you want and putting them in such a light that you can finally see them in a different way, like the unglazed bottom of a beautiful, shiny pottery bowl. That dried clay is what it's really made of. The subjects are as varied, and familiar, as success, happiness, and creating the perfect body, which are three of the ten values presented for in-depth discussion.
Phillips' format is an unusual mix of instruction and light-hearted aside comments that put me in mind of a motivational speaker. At times the styles didn't seem to mesh, but it was entertaining. He includes original cartoons, which actually touched my funny bone or gave me pause for introspection, and original poems, which did not. (No offense, Barry. Do like I did and get some lessons in meter from author Rick Walton, okay?)
This book, though small, (106 pages) is packed with information, more than my brain would hold in one reading. I recommend it be read slowly, perhaps even a chapter a week, in order to soak it all in. Also, since I was particularly drawn to certain chapters, such as Forgiveness and the serendipity analogy (well done, Barry!) I believe that this book would offer other favorite chapters if re-read at a future time. Basically, you'll come away with what you need.
I also like the way the chapters are presented as "Pursuits," followed by the "Lesson" and finally, "So, what do I do about it?" This is a very helpful format for readers like me who have a tendency to lose information on a previous page with a simple turn of a leaf.
To borrow a phrase from Barry, get your hands on this book, let the ideas work in your heart and mind, and "get peace quick."

INTERVIEW:
Shirley: Hey, Barry, thanks for zooming over to visit with me on this overpass. Um... don't you think your car is parked a little too close to the traffic lane? I'm pretty sure your side mirror just had a near death experience with a semi. Do you want to move it?
Barry: It'll be just fine. I keep spare mirrors in the trunk, just in case. Not to look at myself mind you, but I do have three teenage daughters... enough said.
Shirley: Your book covers a wide range of life changing topics. When did you get the idea to write this book?
Barry: A couple of years ago. The ideas just kept percolating until I just had to write it.
Shirley: You tell a lot of anecdotes from your own life. Did anyone take exception to having their name on the printed page?
Barry: Family members were a little nervous, I suppose. After all they know my personality - who could blame them. I didn't tell many people that I was actually writing the book. Forgiveness is always easier than permission! They were all okay in the end, so I've dodged that bullet, at least until the next book!
Shirley: Whoa. I think traffic is picking up. Watch your toes! It appears that you've done a lot of public speaking. Can you tell us a little about your background in communication?
Barry: Did you see that guy pointing at us from that convertible as it drove by? You'd think he had never seen two people standing on a freeway overpass before. Anyway, Communication... I've owned a training company and taught major corporations professional skills such as leadership, problem solving, and even public speaking. I've owned a computer magazine, and written for Glenn Beck's Fusion Magazine. I guess those all fit that bill.
Shirley: Hey, look, there's someone who just turned on their headlights. So where did you get your title?
Barry: Uhhhh... uhhhh... must... look... away... must... stop... staring... Whew! What was that? Oh, the title. It just came to me somehow.
Shirley: Whose idea was it to meet at the side of the highway, anyway? Oh... never mind... I just thought it was a fitting place for your book title. So, last of all, before total darkness falls, what do you hope to accomplish by putting this book out there?
Barry: First, I hope people are entertained. Next, I hope they can learn from what I've experienced and hopefully navigate through those issues a lot easier than they would have otherwise.
Shirley: Thank you so much for your time... oh, my goodness, isn't that your car merging into traffic? Who's at the wheel? Could that... no... those aren't... antlers, are they? I thought that buck was road kill.
Barry: They're here again? I thought they wouldn't follow me onto a freeway. That's why I met you here. Ever since this book got published, they just keep showing up. I thought they wanted a copy of the book, but it looks like they want my car!
Shirley: Come on, there's plenty of room to take you home in my armored tank. It merges like a dream. (Patting Barry's shoulder.) It's all right, Barry, put it in perspective, man. Cars aren't everything. And just think what it will mean to that deer's future. No longer to be caught in the headlights, now he'll be the one behind those twin eye-beams. It's a whole new life.

0 of 1 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars How to get what you reallly want, August 12, 2008

By 

Joyce DiPastena (Arizona) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Caught in the Headlights: Ten Lessons Learned the Hard Way (Paperback)

Caught in the Headlights takes us through a tour of ten currently vaunted and often sought after "virtues", only to turn them on their heads with a spin that leaves us weighing the questions: (1) are they actually the "virtues" we thought they were, and (2) if not, what "virtues" should we be seeking in their place?

Warning: Caught in the Headlights is not a "politically correct" book. If you are easily offended by opinions that differ from your own (or the PC police), read this book at your own risk. The most hot-button chapter of this book will be the one on Tolerance, not because Phillips' argument isn't valid, but because of some of the examples he uses. Reading this chapter might actually be a test of just how "tolerant" you really are! Is Phillips allowed to have an opinion that might differ from yours? Only you, the reader, will be able to answer that.

Whether you can see past the "hot button" to Phillips' real point in the Tolerance chapter or not, don't put this book down in a huff. If you do, you will miss the very valuable lesson he is weaving throughout the course of the book. Do you want happiness in life? Or would you rather have inner peace? Personally, I don't think the two are mutually exclusive. I think what Phillips is talking about when he talks about "happiness", is seeking after an "outward" kind of happiness, the kind that is endlessly elusive, as opposed to that sweet inner happiness and peace that I believe go hand in hand. Caught in the Headlights will not only explain the difference between the two, it will tell you what you can actually do to achieve the latter. And it will do so with humor (his writing won more than a few chuckles out of me) and poetry--yes, poetry!--which, regardless of how good it may or may not be, often drives home his point with even greater clarity than the narration that precedes it. (Not that his narration isn't good--it is! The poetry just carries an extra punch.)

My favorite line in the entire book is also the one that sums the book's theme up most completely: "...selfishness is the anti-peace".

Who can argue with that? Who would even want to? Read Caught in the Headlights and give its "So what do I do about it?" suggestions a try. You'll be glad you did.