Customer Reviews

Celebrity Vinyl

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In CELEBRITY VINYL Tom Hamling shares a collection of album covers from old long playing 33 1/3 records (remember those?) that are not only nostalgic: this collection of information in the form of record jackets opens secrets of the stars that will surprise many readers. Handsomely designed by Eliane Lazzaris from photographs of the album covers by photographer Jonah Light and edited by Buzz Poole, this book is a scrapbook of memories brought to life by Hamling's spare but cogent comments beneath each page's featured album jacket. Sound simple? The unique aspect of this collection is the fact that the recordings were made years ago by people not remembered for singing!

There are albums of songs by Jerry Lewis, Dick Van Dyke, Lorne Greene, Anthony Quinn, Goldie Hawn, Telly Savalas, Burt Reynolds, Bruce Willis and Eddie Murphy as well as collections of songs as sung by The Brady Bunch, Ethel Merman, Joe Piscopo, John Davidson, a very young John Travolta, David Soul, Marilyn Monroe and many others. The images on these covers are art pieces in themselves, but placing them in context with the out of character stance of stand alone singing makes for a very entertaining read. Tom Hamling makes for sure we find the humor and the nostalgia that viewing these albums creates.

This is a terrific, unique collection of surprises presented in a sophisticated, very entertaining manner. Well worth the attention of a broad audience. Grady Harp, June 08

I said it once and I'll say it again: kitsch is camp and camp is kitsch and ever the twain shall meet. Yes, I'm jealous. I threw out all my vinyl thirty-three and a thirds when I made the last move to the old folks dementia home. This was long after I threw out my 78s and 45s, alas. (Warped by the sun, but as they spun, they gave off a wavy groove). So Tom Hamling goes on to show us all up and prove that one man's crapola is another man's treasure. Can you imagine? An art book showing the covers of records made by THE WORLD'S WORST CELEBRITIES (and some others)?

I mean, you can't play the music, and according to Hamling, that is all to the good. What he does instead in this "it's so bad it's art!" collection of some albums that never should have seen the light of day is to carefully examine the covers for hints and allegations about the pop culture in mostly the seventies and eighties. John Travolta, who really is a celeb, bless his hairy-chested heart, graces several pages of this frankly amazing tome, as well as appearing in the center of the record playing on the stylish record player on the cover, gets to be embarrassed boocoo times. Hamling's dry comment on the album cover showing Travolta in a dark mop of very thick hair over naked white shoulders: "This can't help the gay rumors."

My favorite (just to get back to me) is "I'm Your Woman" (1985) by Sandra Bernhard (who could actually sing a little) lying seemingly naked in satin sheets looking like somebody just smacked her in the swollen lips for looking too too heroin chic. I also liked "Rick Dees and His Cast of Idiots" in a straight jacket grinning wide-eyed at the camera in "I'm Not Crazy" [Recommend for Adult Listening]. Hamling's comment: "Dees nuts." Ah, yes, dees nuts were made for.... Never mind. Rick Dees, when he did his celebrity trash radio show in L.A., used to give the temperature as "Seventy-eight dees sleaze grees." (Say that several times: "Dees sleaze grees.") Maybe he still does.

There's a bunch of the Brady Bunch, and how bad were they? Oh my Lord how those kids could grin. Throw in some Ed McMahon, some Burgess Meredith, a whole lotta Lorne Greene, the Beverly Hillbillies, Jim Nabors, Leonard Nimoy ("Mr. Spock's Music from Outer Space"), Rappin' Rodney Dangerfield, and some stylings by the Rev. Jimmy Swaggart, and what have you got? You've got, as Hamling puts it, "the consecration of fame...the veneration of the C-List."

There are some A-List people sprinkled among the desperate, but they are VERY embarrassed (or ought to be). There's Goldie Hawn from 1972 looking good enough to munch (on those pouty lips), and Marilyn Monroe in what ought to be a collector's item entitled "The Very Best of Marilyn Monroe" from Fun Records [Year Not Listed]. Also there's Billy Crystal having black coffee with Billy Crystal in "You Look Marvelous" at some night club booth with celeb photos on the wall.

Sometimes the cover art shows the names of the songs sung by the celeb. Ted Knight in "Hi Guys" intones "Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini," "Blueberry Hill," "Mr. Custer," and nine more, in a style that surely had them tapping their pinkies. And "Laverne & Shirley Sing" gives us "Da Do Ron Ron" which I suppose they ought to know about, and the Everley Brothers hit from the fifties, "All I Have to Do Is Dream," which I imagine they warble for laughs.

There are many more affronts to good taste and career development in this Mark Batty signature publication, including "Christmas Day with Colonel Sanders," "Wrestling Rocks" featuring Jesse "The Body" Ventura," "Love in the Afternoon" with the ABC Soap Opera Stars, and heaven help us, "The Ethel Merman Disco Album."

The ride that success brings - endorsements, movies, television... and then there's the branch into the world of music. "Celebrity Vinyl" is an examination of this move... and how and why it goes so terribly wrong so terribly often. The author is an enthusiastic collector of these horrible albums and suffers for his readers as he outlines each album's story from its earliest concept stages to its life in stores, which is usually mercifully short. From Muhammad Ali to Leonard Nimoy to the Dallas Cowboys, "Celebrity Vinyl" covers them all, and is highly recommended to community library music collections.

Great concept but useless commentary and the copies aren't in great shape

Most hard-core vinyl record collectors love to spend time in used record stores going through the "Miscellaneous", "Personality" (if there is one) or "Spoken Word" sections. This is where you find the fun and oddball albums with great covers and a fun "pop culture" connection. These are either documentaries or the one or two Lps released by stars of TV shows.

There used to be a great website called "David Letterman's Record Collection" (now sadly taken down by CBS), which featured these esoteric Lps with audio samples.

The book in question here is fun to look through and it will bring back memories to many of us who grew up in the 1960s and 70s. But, unlike the other reviewers here, I found some things lacking. First, and foremost, is the statement on the cover that the author has the biggest collection of celebrity vinyl. I doubt it since I know at least two collectors who have well over 2,000 of these oddball releases. Next are the comments at the bottom of each colorful page. The author tells you nothing about the performer or artist: Just a snide remark - where he often unnecessarily uses the "F"-word. If he is such a big fan, he should provide USEFUL info. Then there is the almost random order the albums are shown. We get two Lorne Greene Lp together and then another later in the book. (Note that Greene did have a Top Ten single HIT with "Ringo"). Jimmy Swaggert has a few Lps included but they are spaced apart.

Lastly the Albums are not in the best condition though many of these are common. The high quality of the publisher (Mark Batty Publishers) is wasted on worn jackets.

There are a number of other books containing funny and unique album covers and these, at least, provide serious useful info. This book does not. Hence - based on the cover price - I need to rate it only 3 stars.

Steve Ramm
"Anything Phonographic"

In a world obsessed with celebrity it is nice to know that there is someone who can put it all in perspective. I am prone to hyperbole but this is the funniest book ever written. Mark Twain begot Jackie Mason, Jackie Mason begot Carrot Top, Carrot Top begot Peter Farrelly, Peter Farrelly begot Tom Hamling, who is funnier then them all.

I too, am a little obsessed with celebrity one-hit-wonders and this book has them all. Great for a hardy laugh with friends!

There are two types of people in this world: those who look at a Laverne & Shirley album and run away and those who look at a Laverne & Shirley album and use it to make a reference comparing Carmine "The Big Ragu" Ragusa to feces. Hamling is the latter. Buy this book.