Customer Reviews

Chairman of the Board [VHS]

5 star:		(29)
4 star:		(0)
3 star:		(7)
2 star:		(2)
1 star:		(9)

 

 

I have one word to describe the experience of seeing this movie - floored. Not since "Becket" with Richard Burton and Peter O'Toole (chronicling the unsteady friendship between Henry II and the Archbishop of Canterbury in 12th century England)have I been so impressed with performances by two actors. Larry Miller plays the antagonist with such deft nuance a lesser critic would swear he couldn't act, until the climax arises wherein he chews scenery until his gums bleed. Carrot Top steals scenes and hearts with a continuous stream of hijinks, tomfoolery, and shinanigans that makes us laugh until we realize at the end of the movie that he's also taught us how to love. I've seen this movie 74 times and I asked my wife to marry me during the museum scene the 4th time we saw it in the theater. I named both of my children Larry Miller. I can recommend nothing higher, not religion, not culture, not world peace, nothing.

I have been lucky enough in my lifetime to see Michael Jordan at his peak, Tiger Woods at his finest and Ralph Macchio in Karate Kid. It is a special feeling when you know you are a witness to greatness at a historical level. This movie gives you that chance. Carrot Top is just brilliant and gifted. I think we can all agree on that fact. His prop gigs have revolutionized high level comedy at a level on Gallagher and Jeff Foxworthy can relate to. I've seen his stand up act 231 times and never fail to lose control of my bladder. That being said, Carrot Top on the big screen given an oscar level screenplay is just heavenly. Courtney Thorne Smith continues her trend of dating top level leading men like Jim Belushi and Lewis from Revenge of the Nerds. I bet a lot of ladies wish they had her agent. Larry Miller is, well, Larry Miller. Nothing more needs to be said. He's in that Hanks, Gibson, Freeman pantheon of great actors of our lifetime.

This story is just gripping and takes you on an emotional rollercoaster you could only simulate if your cat died, followed by intercourse with Pam Anderson, followed by an infomercial on Tony Robbins, topped off with a Pizza Party thrown at your house by Jay Leno. I was so emotionally spent after this film, I called in sick to work for the next 5 days. Do yourself a favor and see this masterpiece.

Carrot Top once again proves that he is at the top of his form with this hilarious, and equally devastatingly funny film entitled Chairman of the Board. In it, 'Top' plays a kid who has just inherited a multi-national company from a complete stranger. Those who enjoy deep, meaningful comedy will delight with the antics as Carrot Top struggles to maintain control of his company while all around him people plot to topple him from his rightfully earned position. The camera is perfectly positioned to catch each one of Carrot Top's now trademark prop gags. I was delighted to take my niece to the premier screening and it is a delight to own this DVD. What's more interesting are the subtle themes of revenge, destiny and ironic comedy woven into the fabric of this movie - a modern day Hamlet.

Truly a delight!!

You found God? Keep it. I found Carrot Top, and I found Chairman of the Board. The greatest story ever told. Better than Proverbs and An Evening With Kevin Smith 3 (Threevening) combined. I hope Amazon sells funnybones, because this movie broke mine. Both of them. I stared at the sun for 3 hours after this, trying to experience something as life affirming and downright beautiful as this American Institution that is 'Chairman of the Board', but to no avail. Tectonic plates shift, cells multiply, and Chairman of the Board is the pinnacle of human cultural development. Some things are just concrete like that. I plan on spending the next several months arduously hand drawing each frame of this film as to further document, archive, and preserve this piece of history, for I cannot imagine a greater way to contribute myself to the human experience. In terms of miraculous events that seem to transcend the reach of human understanding, 'Chairman of the Board' easily ranks itself among 'little girls crying diamonds' and those tiny elephant statues drinking milk in India.

I apologize if this review is a little disjointed, I'm still a bit teary from the raw emotion and baring of the human soul that was on the screen. How this film did what it did baffles me. The underlying emotion, the message, the acting, wow, the acting. When one thinks back on the great comedic performances of our time you may think of names like Chaplin, who's character the tramp, makes us both laugh and cry as we empathize with his story. Well here, finally there is an equal in Edison, played by Carrot Top.

The big question here is, when will we see the multi-disk blu-ray set that the public has been craving?

...until I saw this film. I believe in God now. I lost 75 pounds. My hair turned jet black from its original gray. I grew 2 inches, in height. 3 inches elsewhere, if you know what I mean. I won the lottery and my recently deceased dog has returned to me as a puppy, who can speak perfect English.

I am afraid to watch it again. I couldn't handle the bliss.

One Major drawback of books of faith (The Bible, The Koran, The Divinci Code, etc.) is: They're Books! If you can't read, you are...well, the blind man at the orgy. Well, God finally got it right this time for those who are illiterate. He bestowed to us, "Chairman of the Board."

"Carrot Top" is the vessel that carries some of the most profound screenplay since "Dorf" and "Dorf II - Electric Boogaloo." Carrot Top plays the role of Edison, a surfer and inventor trying to raise rent for he and his friends - something I think Christ would do if he lived in SoCal in the early 90's. I don't want to give too much away...but his inventions save the day in hilarious fashion (something the cure for Polio could never do). When Carrot Top exclaims his invention as "The Pet Rock of the 90's!" one cannot help but double over, NAY, TRIPLE OVER in a laugh ulcers! Carrot Top's inventions and comedic timing are so top of the class, he should henceforth be referred to as "Carrot Top of the Class."

In summation, "Chairman of the Board" does what no other movie before it has done: create hope for mankind. I honestly feel that this movie is the culmination of what movies "Can Be." They can tear down walls, they can inspire, they can explore the depth of the human soul, and most of all - do it so simply that any simple person can decipher the meaning of life. Hello? It's all right here! Again...it's a gift from Him. Work Sucks!

Oh, to be young and hip, in these times of woe and weary business of men! The sages of ancient times could not have devised a more inspiring, heartwarming, and authentic heroic epic! There are some scholars who point to "Top"'s performance as the "piece de resistence" of American cinema, and indeed, not since the heyday of Goddard, Hitchcock, and Dino DeLaurentis have we been witness to the most stunning use of film and story together. I am speaking, of course, of "Chairman of the Board", the single most important film you'll ever see!!!!!

Our story begins with Carrot-Top returning from the Trojan War, after a long voyage in which he has had to battle many a demon or monster to find safe passage. Here, he finds Penelope, his loyal wife, beset by suitors from far and wide in the Aegean world. Our fiesty hero invents a series of prop gags which result in the fatal injuries to the many suitors, and he and Penelope are able to be together again at last.

Jack Warden, the latest to fall under the spell of "The Olivier of Our generation" (Jayson Blair, New York Times), bequeaths his empire of Sicily to the magnificant rapscallion, and viewers are given a bon mot of cinematic excellence, from the damsel-in-distress of Courtney Thorne-Smith (The Julia Roberts for Near-sighted Viewers) to the Iago-esque turn of Larry Miller, a man best suited for the villian in this Shakespearean dilemma. No one can predict where the plot will go, or what new adventures will arise to keep our beloved Carrot-Top from his true destiny. One suspects that Miller will meet a sorry end at the tip of a sword, but the magnanimous Top may prove to be more gentle than his Hun ancestry might suggest...you will simply have to watch it to see.

And so I say, fair viewers, do not trouble yourself with other films: "Chairman of the Board" is the most significant work of art since cavemen first fashioned drawings in the prehistoric era! You will be so inspired by this film, dear viewer, that you will watch it again and again, perhaps almost as on a continuous loop, until you gouge out your very eyes and become blind to the world. For you will no doubt agree, once you've seen "Chairman of the Board", no other sights could equal the beauty, the majesty, the true Orwellian insight, the Heidegger-esque angst, the majestic Kierkegaard-ian passages of dialogue, or the Schopenhauer-induced coma you will recieve when you see.....CHAIRMAN OF THE BOARD!

Just remember: Carrot Top cannot be equalled. This movie should have garnered an Oscar for every word of dialogue uttered within its parameters. I'm sure that giving out 32,684 Oscars for one movie would have bankrupted the gold industry, but it would been worth it.

I'd like to doff my hat to Carrot Top for single-handedly drawing attention to, and gaining some long-deserved respect for the red-headed people of the Earth. I'm not a redhead myself, but I still think it's pretty amazing. Those of us with black hair and dark eyes could really use someone like Carrot Top to champion our own cause and maybe squeeze a drop of d@*n respect from The Man too.

Chairman of the Board. CHAIRMAN of the Board. Not *lap monkey* of the Board. Not *yes sah, what I can get y'all sah* of the Board. Chairman. CHAIRMAN of the Board. Hear that Mr. Bush? Carrot Top's a knockin'.

And so was my funny bone when I stumbled across this treasure in VHS format on the clearance rack of Wal-Mart late one Wednesday night. It was a gamble, but I was very drunk, or something closely resembling that, and my friend, Eponu, convinced me it was a good idea. He was right. Righter than he'd been, even, about the chili-cheese Fritos the night before.

I'd always thought Carrot's TV commercials pretty much sucked. They always made me wonder "where's that guy's eyebrows, anyhow?" And seeing him get more muscular just made the mascara look even creepier. But this film is from before his almost-cross dresser period. And it's pretty obvious why the TV marketers scoured the depths of whatever bathroom he was probably living in at the time to get his name in ink on a shiny new contract. Mr. Top here shows that he is to cinema what Jerry Seinfeld was to television. It is a travesty that this movie is doomed to lie forever buried in obscurity, the world not having been ready to receive it when it was actually released.

So you'd better snap up a copy soon, because I seriously doubt there will be any future re-releases before they get around to doing some kind of comprehensive retrospective of films that changed the world. And even then, you'd have to sift through all that Bogart/Orwell/Hitchcock rubbish to get to the good stuff. Far and away one of the best titles you can have in your collection for those times when it's 3 in the morning and you and your friends have gone through 2 bags of chips and are working on that old box of cornflakes that never gets eaten.

I only regret I never had the chance to catch it in its true crowning glory on the big screen.