You may not have had a parent who blessed you, a parent who said, ôNo matter what, IÆll always love you.ö
Maybe you didnÆt have a father who protected you, or a father who thought you were special and told you so. You may think, ôI didnÆt have that, but I turned out all right.ö
DonÆt bet on it. Take a moment, search deep inside for a little hole in your heart that still needs to be filled. DonÆt deny the pain. The only way to heal is to first admit you are hurting. Unless you had a father bless youùor someone who stepped in and became your spiritual fatherùyou have an ache in your soul, a hole in your heart. If youÆre completely honest with yourself, you know this is true. You know it during those nights you stare at the ceiling and wonder if anyone will ever love and believe in you. Those nights when youÆre so exhausted, yet canÆt sleep. Those nights when you know something is wrong, but youÆre not sure what.
ItÆs the longing for the approval of the Father, both on earth and heaven.
Words matter.
Words can bless or bleed.
Words spoken are very hard to take back.
IÆve heard parents say almost flippantly, ôYouÆre stupid.ö
Or, ôDonÆt be so dumb.ö
Or, ôYouÆre so irritating.ö
Some parents believe these words will make the child shape up and fly right. ItÆs like a challenge, the parent saying, ôProve me wrong.ö All they do is injure the self-image of the child. What a dad whispers in a childÆs ear sounds like a scream, and the message can heal or wound. A parentÆs voice is a megaphone straight to the heart of the child.
My own son, Bobby, said to me, ôRemember when you yelled at me?ö
I donÆt remember it that way. I know I didnÆt yell, I only said something very quietly and calmlyùyet in his mind, that was screaming in his ear. I was always very careful never to make negative statements to my children. Even since theyÆve been adults, IÆve noticed they are very anxious to hear only positive words from me. So IÆve made an art form of saying things that lift them up, not tear them down. They are now in middle age, and they still wantùand needùa blessing from their father. Even now that I have to physically look up to my own sons. Words we heard as children can haunt us into adulthood. Words that blessed us as children can accompany us into old age, long after the person who spoke them into our lives has died. The book of John opens by telling us, ôIn the beginning was the Word.ö God spoke the world into being. Creation was accomplished through the spoken word of God. And we can speak life into the souls and hearts of our children.
Words are how we are to begin blessing our children, as my own father demonstrated. He died at the age of forty-five. I was fourteen. I still remember his presence, his words, his touch, his blessing.
Jim Sundberg heard me talking like this one day in a chapel service when he was playing for the Texas Rangers. He was their star catcher, and he came up to me after my message and said, ôWhat you say is true, Bill, because I remember when I was a little boy my daddy would say, æYouÆre going to be a great majorleague catcher.Æ And I said, æBut Dad, I threw the ball over the second basemanÆs head.Æ My dad said, æYes, youÆve got a terrific arm.Æ And IÆd say, æBut Dad, I struck out,Æ and heÆd say, æWhat a swingùwhat a swing.Æ No matter what I did, he turned it to reinforce his dream, and it became my dream as well.ö
Parents can inspire or destroy dreams in a single sentence. Children donÆt need parents to act like coaches, because coaches usually praise, then withhold the blessing. They do this to squeeze just a little more out of the athlete. This might work in sports, but not at home. Children need a parent, especially a father, who speaks the words of love, hope and belonging into their lives. Even if you donÆt know how, or if this sounds strange to you, your children need it. And you can do it.
In fact, you must do it!
The future of your children, and your childrenÆs children, and even their children depends upon it.
Numbers 14:18 reads: ôGod does not leave the guilty unpunished, he punishes the children for the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generations.ö
What happens to our children? Our childrenÆs children? Their children and the generations to follow? It can begin with us. How do we do that?
Consider this from Deuteronomy 7:9: ôThe Lord your God is God. He is the faithful God keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations for those who love him and keep his commandments.ö
How do we do that?
We love and bless our children.
¬2005. All rights reserved. Reprinted from CHAMPIONS for LIFE: The Power of a FatherÆs Blessing Bill Glass with Terry Pluto. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means, without the written permission of the publisher. Publisher: Health Communications, Inc., 3201 SW 15th Street, Deerfield Beach, FL 33442.
