Customer Reviews

Change or Die: The Three Keys to Change at Work and in Life

5 star:		(19)
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I liked this book for a number of reasons not the least of which was the way that Deutschman broke down psychological principles and complex social theories into chunks that anyone can use. This books is powerful because it is simple, reinforces the main point, the three R's of change.

Relate, Repeat, Reframe

Those three keys to change will be meaningless outside the context of the book, but they are very powerful principles that Deutschman brings into clear focus for your business and your life. One of the things that really brought this book home for me was the examples that he chose as the models for how the change process works, they were unexpected yet very relevant.

If you've ever wondered how to create real change in your organization or even to achieve a goal like weightloss (as the author did) this book shows you a clear path to success based on sound psychology and solid thinking.

If you've ever set goals you didn't reach or have any significant dream or desire to change something in your life or your business, this book is a handbook that you'll use over and over again. I'm buying it for everyone on my team and in my personal mastermind group.

Dave Lakhani
Author: Persuasion The Art of Getting What You Want and The Power of an Hour Business and Life Mastery In One Hour A Week.

Whether you are a political activist, a business executive helping a company change its approach or a mere mortal struggling to keep a New Year's Resolution, this book is a must-read.

There are so many authors out there offering false hope in many of these areas. Their books sell, but their readers are unlikely to make any lasting changes in their communities, companies or lives.

Deutschman analyzes why change is so hard and shows concrete lessons gleaned from the exceptions. This is not the wishful thinking of a feel-good TV therapist or infomercial peddler. These are the insights of a journalist who has interviewed leading thinkers and "doers".

Yes, but it takes a lot of work, repititon, and a good support group, or so argues Alan Deutschman in his expanded article from Fast Company magazine. He takes a quick and interesting look at recent cognitive theory and explains cleary that our minds are wired by pre-exisiting frames that dictate behavoir(with an appropriate nod to Lakoff), and that Freud got one thing right, namely our ego defenses supress the truth. What does not work? Fear will not(short term modification) and facts won't(telling overweight or unhealthy people who are depressed that they can live longer if they change does not work; who wants to live longer if they are going to continue to be depressed). What does? Give people a better story to believe and their actions will be consistent with the new story, and have them practice the story line even if they don't yet fully believe in it(the best writing in the book is how the Delancey project in San Francisco uses these techniques to change addicts who have circulated through the prison system or who are told by the justice system that it's Delancey or hard time). Good side trips on how the brain is elastic and can change and also on some of his personal experiences which fit in with the topic. A good intro for those starting to get interested in cognitive theory or a handy refresher for those already familar with some of the ideas. Well written and concise.

Change or Die deserves a wide audience, not as a self-help book, but as an important way to understand why so many elements of our society are not working.

We label more and more acts as criminal. We build more prisons. But crime doesn't go away.

We keep asking, "Who should pay for health care?" when in fact over nearly 80% of health "care" costs could be reduced (or even eliminated) by iifestyle changes.

Psychologists have long known that change is rarely a matter of willpower. Karen Pryor's Don't Shoot The Dog warns that most of our education and training systems are not based on sound psychological guidelines.

Deutschman, as a journalist, presents case studies showing how groups of people changed following a few key principles. They identified with a person, leader or community. They got to practice, over and over again. They learned to think "as if" they had already changed. And they learned to reframe their experiences.

So prisoners at Delancey Street become members of a community. They learn to act "as if" they're ordinary, law-abiding citizens. They develop what Deutschman calls a middle-class mindset.

Dieters who followed Dean Ornish's program first joined a support group. They practiced new styles of eating and exercise. And they reframed their views about health, moving from helpless patients to strong achievers who took charge of their own health.

These two examples are most powerful, although Deutschman includes a few others (a parole officer learns to talk to clients a new way and businesses absorb cultures). In fascinating first-person narratives, he recounts his own struggles with mastering college French and with his own weight loss. In each case, he failed with credentialed teachers at Princeton and a high-priced gym, respectively, but mastered French and exercise when he connected to teachers with whom he shared interests.

As a former professor myself, I would add that the university system combines learning with assessing. Sometimes those goals conflict. Faced with limited time and an expectation that not everyone can earn A's, not to mention consequences of getting too friendly with students, few teachers can create the connection that Deutschman describes.

Ironically, as a society, collectively we're like the patients in the Dean Ornish study. His patients knew they should lose weight and exercise. We know we're implementing programs that don't work. Why do we keep doing it? Why do we keep building prisons and creating health programs that don't address the causes of the problem?

And do we really need to learn from credentialed experts? Ornish's own change agent was the man who taught his sister's yoga class. It seems that relationships lead to therapy, not a particular set of techniques. It's little wonder that lightly-trained coaches, without the cloaks of power and professionalism, have been successful as change agents for many of their clients.

If institutions and widely held beliefs don't change, more of us may die, literally or metaphorically. That the unintended lesson of this deceptively simple book.

I was first attracted to this book when I spotted its stark black and white cover with the simple words "Change or Die". It was enough to get my attention on a flight layover, and I made a note to myself to check out the book when I got home.

I judge a book on if it's able to accomplish what it sets out to do. If it does at least that I'll give it 4 stars. If I feel the author went above and beyond the tour of duty to get his point across, I'll give it 5. That being said, this book is a solid 4, 4 still being very good.

Did this book get the point across that if you don't change you'll die? Actually, yes. The author uses several well-laid out case examples from heart patients to career criminals to demonstrate why change is so important; he also retells his own personal "change or die" story, which lets you know that he doesn't just talk the talk, he also walks the walk. Even though you may not be able to relate to all the people in the book (I am neither a criminal nor a heart patient), he brings their stories close down to a personal level and then details how they each used some version of the 3-steps to change (Relate, Repeat, Reframe) to bring their life and outlook to a new, positive level.

The case studies (stories really), the application of the 3-steps, and the simplicity are really the strong points of the book. I'm not sure if Mr. Deutschman is a psychiatrist or not, but the writing style came across as very down-to-earth and easy to read. It wasn't bogged down in any psycho babble, just 3 steps and how different people applied them to their lives, and the lives of others to change. That's it. Unlike other books covering the topics of change or psychology, it doesn't get cheesy or sugar-coated or cliched, and I was glad for it. This may also be a weakness of the book, since it really wasn't inspirational nor used "go-get-'em" language. That's not say it isn't, it is inspirational in its own way because you get to see how change is possible for even the most ordinary or hopeless situations. But I feel the author could have used a little more enthusiasm in his writing, that's a very minor quibble though.

Another small issue i have with the book, which is purely subjective, is that I wish the author spent a little more time on personal change, or at least gave more examples. There were perhaps 25-30 pages on personal change, and I bought this book expecting more of that. HOwever, I know this book was meant for the topic of change on a personal, corporate, and organizational levels so the author really did cover what he wanted. Hopefully, in the future he'll come out with a follow up dealing solely with the topic of personal change.

Overall, if you are interested in changing yourself, your company, or group, this is a solid book. You can read it in a few days, and not feel overwhelmed with complex psycholiteral language. Instead, there's a lot to learn from the many stories and cases presented here. You really will learn how the 3-steps to change (Relate, Repeat, Reframe) are applied, but it is still up to you to use them.

Admittedly, I was drawn to this book simply because of its combative title and stark cover design (no author attribution on the front, just the words "Change or Die" in bold print), but once I got the book and started flipping through it, I was actually quite drawn in by the content, and, though I usually regret purchasing hard covers, I don't mind having shelled out twenty-five bucks for this one.

The theory that Deutschman presents in this book, that most people go about change the wrong way, thus ensuring failure, thus becoming further locked in their cycle of bad habits, is provocative. A pessimist like me would leave it at that--yep, change is impossible, but Deutschman, an optimist, believes that change is possible if we "re-frame" our notion of how change really happens.

Through many examples of effective leadership (the most compelling is that of Mimi Silbert who turns ex-cons into productive citizens through the Delancey Street Foundation), Deutschman shows that given the right motivation, the right leadership, and a supportive community, real and significant change can happen.

Woven throughout the book is Deutschman's own voice, which is quite charming and disarming as he discusses difficult changes he went through in his own life: from finally passing French at Princeton after multiple attempts, to dropping 40 pounds after years of near obesity, to becoming a Democrat after having been a young Republican.

Pessimistic as I've been about the current state of the world, Deutschman's theories make me wonder if maybe, just maybe, the way the world is right now is not the way it must remain.

"What if a well-informed, trusted authority figure said you had to make difficult and enduring changes in the way you think, feel and act? If you didn't, your time would end soon. Could you change when change mattered most?"
This is the question Alan Deutschman poses in Change or Die. Research shows that, even when shown the dire need to change, nine out of ten times, people don't change. Deutschman illustrates this point with three case stud-ies:
1. Heart patients are unable to make the required lifestyle changes in order to prevent their cardiovascular health from deteriorating even further and eventually causing their deaths;
2. Repeat offenders in the criminal justice system are unable to change their behavior patterns in order to avoid going back to prison;
3. Employees and companies remain trapped in the mold of unsuccessful business practices which they know will put them out of business.
The reason we fail in our attempts to change (ourselves and others) is based in some common misconceptions of how change occurs. We erroneously think that the facts will convince people to change and that people are essentially rational-- that they'll act in their self-interest if they have accurate information. We believe "knowledge is power" and that "the truth will set us free."
After we try rationally informing and educating people without success, we resort to scare tactics. We like to think that change is motivated by fear and that harsher consequences will force people to change.
Despite its threatening title, Change or Die delivers a passionate message of hope: we actually can change the deep-rooted patterns of how we think, feel and act, as long as we replace our misconceptions about change--our trust in facts, fear and force (the three F's)--with three new keys to change: Relate, Repeat and Reframe.
1. Relate: form a new, emotional relationship with a person or community that inspires and sustains hope. Find someone or a community who believes you can and will change.
2. Repeat: it takes repetition over time before new patterns of behavior become natural and automatic. The new relationship gives you guidance and direction while you practice and drill the new skills and habits required for change.
3. Reframe: during this time of training, the new relationship helps you reframe your thoughts about your situation. Eventually, you see the world so differently that your former perspective now seems foreign.
As a journalist for Fortune magazine and Fast Company, Alan Deutschman learned a lot from interviewing leaders of big companies and public figures such as Bill Gates and Dick Cheney (whom he uses as examples) but he draws just as much from his own life experience. Finally, Deutschman says, think of change as what you do to remain successful and keep growing, not as something you'll have to do when things go downhill. Instead of Change or Die, learn to Change and Thrive.(reviewed for [ASIN:B0000DYF1L Networking Times]

This book/CD is inspirational. I have ordered and distributed to my friends and family over a dozen copies. Reminds us that anything is possible.. It hit home with me as the recent death of my mother was something I was struggling with. She chose death over lifestyle changes and it was driving my family and I crazy. The CD/book helped me understand better what was really going on, and how I was making coices that were wrong as well. It is on my top 10 list...

"Change Or Die" is hands-on. The cases in the book are based on a profound knowledge and deep research - it shows that Deutschman is a REAL journalist (Fortune, FAST COMPANY MAGAZINE). What I especially like about this book are some parts that are very personal and make it credible. All in all it is a successful approach to collect the key factors of lasting change: relate - which means you need support and hope from others; repeat - which means a learning process to train new habits; and reframe - which stands for the necessary internalization process.
I work as an executive coach in Europe and this book both gave me new thoughts about personal change and it definitely inspired the confidence in the methodology I already use. Lasting change is possible.

If at all possible I purchase the audio CD version of books, and the hard copy of the book as well. Being a frequent traveler, being able to listen to the book gets my creative thought flowing. I then can use the book to drill down on more information as time permits. I found Change Or Die to be a very interesting and helpful book. Being involved in organizational change initiatives, I found the book to provide insights as to why change is difficult, and most often why change initiatives fail before they can bare fruit. The book offers helpful strategies for helping people work through the process of change. Despite the negative statistics that the author cites regarding success rates of change initiatives, I found the book to be very hopeful - in that there are concrete things that we can do to help the change process along. I found the examples that the author uses to be very interesting. The book and the CD is worth multiple readings and listenings.