Change Your Questions, Change Your Life: 7 Powerful Tools for Life and Work [Paperback]

Marilee G. Adams (Author), Marshall Goldsmith (Foreword)

Book Description

Publication Date: May 2004

"Questioning" is a skill rarely taught in school, but doing it well - that is, asking the right questions of the right people - can radically transform attitudes, actions, and results. Change Your Questions, Change Your Life provides easy-to-learn tools that can make a significant and immediate difference in people's business and personal lives. Written as an engaging fable, it inspires readers to take charge of their thinking in order to accomplish goals, improve relationships, advance careers, investigate new territories, and in general gain greater life satisfaction. This book explains how to "be your own coach," outlines the author's QuestionThinking Model, and lists the top 12 questions for change. Real-world examples provide practical models for applying the principles in a variety of situations, while a Choice Map is a useful visual tool that demonstrates that everyone has a choice in every situation, even if it is not immediately apparent.

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Marilee G. Adams, Ph.D.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

Introduction

Have you ever had an experience that you look back upon and say, ‘before this moment my life was one way, after it another?’ Just such a moment in my own life became the seed for this book and what I now call QuestionThinking. Now, over twenty years later, I still look back at that time with gratitude. By now the work it inspired has impacted not only my life but that of many others. Let me share with you the story of that life-altering moment.

I can recall it as if it were yesterday. I was on the phone with my Ph.D. advisor, waiting for feedback on some work I felt great about. Holding my breath, I waited for Hallock’s praise. Instead, I heard him say, "Marilee, this is just not acceptable."

My stomach did a somersault. Did I hear him right? In those days, critical comments like my advisor’s often left me in tears. For years I had worked to silence my inner critic and become more accepting of myself. While I’d made some progress, I hadn’t seen great evidence that my efforts had been fruitful. But at this moment, something occurred that felt like a miracle.

Instead of the old tearful reaction, I became calm and curious. With ease, I responded to my advisor, "Okay, how do I fix it?"

An observer part of me watched all this and asked incredulously, Was that me? What had happened? How was I able to switch my mood so easily? Resolving to figure it out, I also wondered: Could this seeming miracle be turned into a method to pass along to others?

I discovered that what had happened was a fundamental change in the kinds of questions I usually asked myself. The old me asked mostly worried questions, such as, "Does he like and approve of me?" and "What did I do wrong?" The new me had started operating out of calm, productive questions like, "How can I make this work? What can I learn?" and "What’s possible?" By changing the kinds of questions I asked, I changed my life.

Until we develop the ability to cause the kind of change I experienced, we are at the mercy of other people’s opinions and the whims of our own moods. The ability to intentionally shift our internal questions puts us in charge of our own thoughts. This book shows you how to do that.

Change Your Question, Change Your Life is the story of Ben Knight. He finds himself challenged, seemingly beyond his limits, in his new promotion to a highly responsible management position. Convinced he doesn’t have what it takes, he drafts his resignation. That’s when his CEO steps in and gives him a second chance by introducing him to Joseph Edwards, the inquiring coach. However, Ben’s job isn’t his only problem. His marriage is also in trouble. In the pages ahead you’ll follow Ben through the transformations he makes, both at work and at home.

Product Details

• Paperback: 150 pages
• Publisher: Berrett-Koehler Publishers; 1 edition (May 2004)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1576752410
• ISBN-13: 978-1576752418
• Product Dimensions: 5.6 x 0.6 x 8.5 inches
• Shipping Weight: 8.8 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (69 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #200,774 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Marilee Adams is President and Chief Question Officer of the Inquiry Institute, as well as the best-selling author of Change Your Questions, Change Your Life. She is a corporate consultant, executive coach, coach educator, and professional speaker. Her clients include Lockheed Martin, Johnson & Johnson, Wachovia, NASA Goddard, and the Brookings Institution. She has presented to professional associations such as the American Society for Training and Development, the Organizational Development Network, the International Coaching Federation, and the Society for Human Resource Development. Marilee is also the author of The Art of the Question: A Guide to Short-Term Question-Centered Therapy, a book chapter on Appreciative Inquiry and QuestionThinking, a book chapter on Action Learning and QuestionThinking, and articles on question expertise for coaching as well as for organizational excellence. The Inquiry Institute offers free teleconferences, teleseminars, workshops, webinars, and the Q-Storming" Facilitator Certification Program.

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

173 of 196 people found the following review helpful

3.0 out of 5 stars Relatively good work, but there are other much better books! May 16, 2005

By Lee Say Keng

Format:Paperback

This book is essentially a simplified version of the author's earlier scholarly work, The Art of the Question, (under her maiden name), which is primarily written from a psycho-therapeutic perspective. The latter book expounds all the core concepts found in the new book. In this respect, there isn't anything new or exciting to offer. If you have already read the author's earlier book, then you don't have to waste money in getting this book.

However, if you are looking for a much broader perspective & also deeper & systematic treatment on the art & discipline of questioning, I reckon the following books will give readers more value for money:

for the business professional:
- Smart Questions, by Gerald Nadler;
- Asking Just Right Business Questions (especially, if you are planning to start your own business);
- Key Management Questions, by Tom Lambert (if you want to improve your managerial analysis);
- 78 Important Questions Every Leader Should Ask & Answer, by Chris Clarke-Epstein (if you want to sharpen your managerial skills);
- Leading with Questions, by Michael Marquardt (if you want to refine your strategic leadership skills);

for the layman as well as business professional:
- Questions that Work, Andrew Finlayson;
- Dorothy Leeds' Smart Questions is also worth exploring;

for those working in the academic arena, please get hold of Jamie McKenzie's books on the Questioning Technology (as the author calls it); a series of educational instruction books by Nancy Johnson (e.g. Questioning Makes the Difference) is worth exploring too!

In fairness to the author, & if you are basically a beginner, the current book still gives quite an excellent & yet simple introduction to the subject. However, readers will have to contend with her storytelling approach, which I find somewhat taxing & boring. The author's unique model, 'QuestionThinking', encompassing seven simple exploration tools, & her 'Top Twelve Questions for Change,' on the other hand, are still worth exploring.

On the whole, it is relatively good work by the author, but there are other much better books as I have illustrated above.

56 of 62 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars A new perspective of looking at things March 28, 2005

By Safiya Ahmed Mohammed

Format:Paperback

This book is a self-help book that offers a new perspective of looking at situations/dilemmas or any other issue. It uses 'Questions' as a way of making your attitude change from Judger (subjective) to Learner (objective). The idea of the book is told through a story with the lead character of Ben, who'd resist at first the changes, but eventually change to becoming an Inquiring person/leader.

Positive points of the books (+ve):

1- Introduces new concept of 'Question Thinking' as a tool to look at everyday life issues and solve them.

2- Key points are highlighted and printed in big bold letters making it easier to remember the concepts.

3- The book is told as a story using mainly dialogue between the characters. This offers an insight into how the character of Ben (Lead character) transforms into a wonderful Leader for his team.

4- I've read for few women who've written great books. The author is at the top of the list. I think I'll enjoy meeting her.

5- The more you apply the tools, I believe, the more you're life will be changed for the better. I'll adopt them starting now.

6- At the end of the book is a 'Workbook' chapter explaining key concepts, which makes it easier for reference.

7- The 'Question Thinking' tools have been applied well to demonstrate how useful they can be at work, firing up creativity, improving relationships, most important of all : seeing yourself in a new perspective and respectively, changing to the better.

Negative points of the book (-ve):

(None)

32 of 34 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars A Ticking Time Bomb of Influence September 16, 2005

By John Mcauley

Format:Paperback

While the metaphor may not be palatable - "A Ticking Time Bomb" - I have to say, it is exactly the right way to think about Dr Adams book. You read it, wander off, not realizing you just triggered the device and boom!, it goes off in your head. Sometimes it takes a jolt to move us to higher and safer ground.

Many books attempt to help us move into a more "hopeful and possible" state of mind. However, having read dozens of such books, very few are able to be grasped and remembered. Usually complex and focused on organizational theory, they offer little for the "average Joe" to implement. The power of this book can rapidly move the "average Joe" to a new height of effectiveness and position of power (so to speak). In an instant, one will move to effective behavior, sure to be noted and applauded by all - maybe even your Boss!

Well done Dr. Adams. You have made a very valuable and strategic contribution to the world of personal leadership that's sure to make our lives, families, and organizations, places of health and progress.

I actually applied the lessons in a very delicate organizational situation and the "switching question" saw a group of individuals move rapidly through, in a few hours, that which they have failed to do in almost a whole year.

Read it, lend it, discuss it and apply it. This one is going on my website www.leadingbooks.com