Customer Reviews

Changes That Heal: How to Understand Your Past to Ensure a Healthier Future [CHANGES THAT HEAL]

5 star:		(50)
4 star:		(10)
3 star:		(7)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

A-plus! This is a GREAT book that helped me understand how my past affected every area of my life (work, relationships, and my underlying attitudes). Although I had experienced great success in the business world, my personal relationships were suffering terribly and I was miserable on the inside. This book helped me understand why and how to change.

It clearly explained the important things I needed but didn't get out of each developmental stage while growing up from an infant to an adult. While reading the book, it became clear how I developed coping mechanisms to get through life--trying to get my needs met--with mixed results. On the outside, I was a picture of success, but on the inside I was tired, empty, unhappy and frustrated.

With this understanding, and a continued commitment to find new ways to think, act and live, I am now learning to live a life that promises to be happier and healthier. Thanks Dr. Cloud for your part in bringing about these changes in me!

I highly recommend other books written by Henry Cloud's (Safe People, Boundaries) as they are also well written and very good resources for healing the innermost areas of the heart and minds to help enjoy the journey to wholeness and joy!

'Changes That Heal' is a book that is informative and life changing. Change and Healing IS possible! Definitely worth reading! A-plus!

The four main points of this book can help any person understand more who they are and how they relate to others. Bonding, how to say "no", learning that people are neither all good nor all bad are points that Dr. Henry Cloud explains in a biblical and tangible way. The book is well-written, broken up in understandable sections and gives you something to think about at every turn. The author pulls from many people's life experiences and there are many examples of everyday people that you can relate to. You will find examples that help you understand the points he is trying to point out. This book is a must read.

There is a work book which goes along with the book, but Changes That Heal stands alone or can be enhanced by the workbook.

What does it mean to be made in the image of God? People sometimes say that it means we have free will, or we have emotions and intellect, or we have a spirit. In Changes that Heal, Cloud describes part of his own theory of what it means to bear the image of God on this planet. He describes four major areas that are involved in bearing God's image: 1. Bonding to others 2. Separating from others 3. Sorting out good and bad in ourselves and others 4. Becoming an adult. For each of these four areas, he points out the picture we have in scripture of God's nature as He operates in the specific area, then describes how this aspect of man was broken in the fall, and suggests ways to move toward healing. The book is especially helpful when it describes case studies from Dr. Cloud's practice and shows which symptoms, or life problems, may result from failure to grow up in each of the areas.

There are a few weaknesses in the book. He doesn't include enough practical how-to for someone seeking healing, possibly because this requires help from healthy relationships and/or professionals. Also, the writing style tends to ramble and get a little tedious. You have to be pretty dedicated to getting the information in order to plod through to the end. Although the subject matter is not exactly duplicated, for a book along the same lines I much prefer John Townsend's Hiding from Love.

The difference between Dr. Cloud and some other Christians writers in this field is that he is so positive. He doesn't condemn people for suffering and struggling. He just prods us on to godliness and to dealing with the root issues of our symptoms. He will help you see what has caused your issues, what your issues truly are, and how those issues relate to the "symptoms" that you experience (depression, anxiety, etc). He gives constructive steps toward becoming a more whole and healthy person. I plan to listen to these tapes again and again.

I have read many books by Cloud & Townsend prior to this book-- How to Get a Date Worth Keeping, Boundaries, Boundaries in Dating, Safe People, and Nine Things You Simply Must Do: To Succeed in Love and Life. I read Changes that Heal in little bites-- usually no more than 30 minutes worth before bed each night. It touched on things I had never thought before, supported ideas explored in previous books, and brought a lot to the light. I learned a WHOLE lot about myself as I read this and processed it. And the beauty of it all, is that it was very direct, to the point, and calls you out on your issues without a hint of condemnation. I was challenged in areas no one had ever asked me to be accountable in and I was freed from condemnation (my own and others) in other areas. My "symptoms" make sense now because I am beginning to get to the roots of the issues. The wisdom and insight of these two men along with their genuine commitment to see people reconciled in all areas has been a great blessing to me.

Dr. Henry Cloud in his introduction, explains that he did not set out to write this book. Rather it was an extension of his ministry and the encouragement of many who benefited from the ministry and wished that he would expand its scope.

Most revealing in the introduction into this material is the observation that within Christianity is a broad section which seems to espouse the idea that Christians who suffer from issues such as depression, relationship deficiencies, sexual dysfunction etc are somehow in sin and to blame for their issues simply because they have not laid claim to the healing available to them in Christ.

This viewpoint is not all that different than those in the past who have applied the same reasoning to those who are physically ill with issues like cancer, diabetes etc and have failed to lay hold of the same healing that is promised to varying degrees. Great damage came from this form of absolute intolerant thinking. Equal and perhaps greater harm comes from the application of this same erroneous thinking to the softer field of human emotions and thought processes.

While the latter form of absolute thinking has diminished and more grace and understanding have been extended within all but the most extreme factions within the Church, unfortunately this same attitude prevails far too often within the mainstream of the Church for reasons that this reviewer can only attribute to the fact that these issues are less visible and that many who espouse them do so from ignorance and the discomfort that these situations can bring.

Dr. Cloud's book does an outstanding job of explaining the causative roots of many of these issues to where those who suffer from them as well as those who have difficulty accepting or understanding them can benefit greatly without having to reject or discount the truths of Christianity.

Addressing the issue progressively with an explanation of how psychological growth can get out of sync with physical growth and then specifically addressing the issues of bonding, separating, developing values and then maturing, gives footholds to understanding that help the individual identify where they need to work and the Church as a whole know how to provide the understanding and support that draws the Church into a loving and accepting community rather than a judgemental and exclusive society of only those who are without problems.

Far too often the fruits of the field of psychology are rejected by the community of faith. Dr. Cloud does an outstanding job of bringing the two together in a manner that promotes understanding and growth without watering down the importance of spirituality.

Appropriate for those seeking help as well as those who seek to better understand how to extend it.

I was surprised at some reviews here, e.g. those that said book was unstructured (read the chapter titles: the structure could not be clearer) or that the authors did not provide any solutions (easily half the book is practical, concrete strategies and suggestions). What I like best about Changes That Heal and other books by Henry Cloud and his frequent co-author John Townsend is the great balance of practical and theoretical. They go into considerable detail about the reasons for certain problems; they provide lots of case studies; and they give numerous practical devices such as checklists (e.g. to test whether I have certain feelings, attitudes etc.) and direct suggestions. Of course, these suggestions are not simple--no "take 2 aspirin" approaches here. Changing and healing require--surprise--lots of work!!

I have read many Christian books-this is my favorite. It opens on Truth and Grace and Time. Key elements of understanding our role in God's kingdom. It focuses on taking responsibility and quite honestly when not to. Dr. Cloud references scriptures at every turn so you can feel confident these teachings and wisdom, are biblical. My friends have noticed changes in my areas of acceptance and placing boundaries and it has helped our relationships tremendously. I have learned to love God more because of this book.

This book came to me from a friend. I came to understand so much as to why I do/did the things in my life. Setting boundaries is helpful in many ways. We do it in our society and with each other. As long as we speak the truth with GRACE, time really does heal. I recommend this book to anyone who simply would like a "road map" on how to deal with people and yourself and how to live life more peacefully.

"Changes that Heal" has been a life changing book for me. It is a good overview and beginning read for making lasting life changes. Each chapter and topic is well written and includes helpful real life examples.

I read it once on my own and then again with a small group. You get out of the book what you put into it. I recommend it for any who are feeling "stuck" or experiencing hurt.