Customer Reviews

Chasing Daylight:How My Forthcoming Death Transformed My Life

5 star:		(39)
4 star:		(20)
3 star:		(9)
2 star:		(6)
1 star:		(7)

 

 

I was fortunate enough to be handed a copy of this book by the publisher last week, when the James Frey/A Million Little Pieces debacle was coming to a head. It was fantastic to read Chasing Daylight, a real, un-sexed up memoir that deserves the attention that James Frey's books don't.

Most of the book was written by Gene O'Kelly after May 2005, when he was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer(the last chapter was written by his wife after O'Kelly died). He wrote about how he managed his final months alive; saying final goodbyes to friends and family, rememebering "perfect moments" he has before the diagnosis and experiencing many more new ones after. Although the book really, REALLY made me wonder if I wanted to know how and when I was going to die, it made me think even more of how one should live.

The story isn't about someone who threw his life away with addiction and had run-ins - real and imagined - with the law. O'Kelly was an accountant, most recently head of KPMG, with a wife and two children. He was mostly an ordinary person we can relate to who ran his life at 100 miles an hour - and was forced to step on the brakes when he got his diagnosis. Among other things, the book has a great message to all of us who lead our lives at that speed that we should slow it down, accept certain things the way they are, and value moments with family above time at work.

I also found the writing extraordinarily real, and at times had trouble concentrating because I found myself wondering what O'Kelly was thinking when he was writing it, knowing that he had seen his "last autumn in New York" and he knew how his memoir was going to end. Facing certain death with his level of peace was admirable.

This is a great book.

This book is written by Eugene O'Kelly, who was a very successful and ambitious CEO of a large international accounting firm. In May 2005, he was told he had only a few months to live, because he was suffering from an advanced form of brain cancer.

Mr. O'Kelly shows remarkable optimism in the face of his illness - not in thinking that he could beat it, but in believing that he had actually been given a gift, and he would now be given the opportunity to truly live his life to the fullest, and experience "Perfect" moments and days.

One comes away from this novel very impressed with Mr. O'Kelly, for the way he chose to live his life at the end, and for sharing his experience with us.

I earlier wrote a review for a similar book, and will say what I said then - that I don't think we humans are hardwired to always "live in the moment", and appreciate life to the fullest all the time. But these type books do help us understand that we should take the time to do so.

Mr. O'Kelly had a strong religious background, and he believed in an afterlife and that he might be reunited with his loved ones. For people who do not hold these beliefs, this book may be less comforting. But even so, Mr. O'Kelly's recommendations for how to have "Perfect" moments and days are relevant for everyone.

I read Gene's book in one sitting, and will surely read it again soon. It's amazing how this man could possibly face his own mortality with courage, strength, and a new-found appreciation for the little things in life. I laughed (or at least chuckled at his ever-present sense of humor), I cried, and I thoroughly enjoyed every page. This book had a profound impact on me. It has left me with many questions - about my own life and how I live each day. I am going to try to live for those "perfect moments." Thanks for sharing your vision with us Gene.

-AA

Chasing Daylight is a profound chronicle of Eugene O'Kelly's final 100 days of his life. He was diagnosed with late stage glioblastoma multiforme, which is terminal brain cancer. Within a week, he stepped down as CEO of KPMG and began to acclimate himself and his loved ones on how best to deal with this terminal disease.

As someone who is in the habit of setting goals and approaching every problem from a logical perspective, Gene O'Kelly began to make plans on what to do for the final three months of his life: He trains himself to live in the present, to find those perfect moments that crystallize the beauty of life, and to say his farewells to his friends, family and loved ones. In following his plan, and to his surprise, he attains what he's been after all along: peace.

There are few tragedies in life that can alter your perspective so profoundly, and one of those is being diagnosed with a terminal disease. It's like the blinders fall off and what seemed so important no longer matters, and what you always took for granted you now ardently embrace.

Gene and Corinne O'Kelly capture that so beautifully in Chasing Daylight. Gene's struggle with coming to terms with his death is heart wrenching, and Corinne's account of his final hours will bring tears to your eyes. Despite the short time he had to say good-bye to his loved ones, he did accomplish what he set out to do and then exited this life as a gentleman would: with perfect grace.

Gene O'Kelly was the CEO of KPMG, an international accounting and consulting firm, with $4 billion in revenues and 20,000 employees. In May 2005, at age 53, he was told that be had a brain tumour and had less than 6 months to live. He died in September of that year. He decided to narrate the story of his final months, in part as a personal catharsis, and as a reference for others.

I've seen some criticism of this book in terms of its breezy, somewhat detached style. But this denies the fact that death is as personal as life. It corresponds to temperament and circumstances.

O'Kelly was an accountant's accountant, a driven executive. He was not someone given to introspection. He lived an affluent, social and active lifestyle. It shows in this book. It has the accountant's traits of method, detail, thoroughness.. the executive's traits of objectivity, organization, compartmentalization.

He was not a particularly religious man. The religious aspects account for less than a page of the total book. He was Irish Catholic, but worshiped, better stated meditated, at a nearby Episcopalian Church, practiced TM, had a dinner and a private Mass with Cardinal Egan in his final weeks. The death sentence produced no profound search for spiritual enlightenment or reconciliation with God. The nebulous term 'consciousness' appears as the objective. This was just part of the routine of his life, and played in a minor key.

The book focuses on his personal approach to dying. Not surprisingly this involved a systematic, targetted, well ordered closing out of his affairs and relationships in this world. Some people might find this all too, well, procedural. It can read like a consultant's report on how to spend a suddenly abbreviated life, giving due respect to the conventions of our times. But it is undeniably honest to the man O'Kelly was.

I've heard that being told you have a terminal illness, involves stages of denial, anger, pleading, depression and finally acceptance. This process plays little part in this book, although I've no doubt it was part of the experience, perhaps only subliminally acknowledged. We skip really to the final stage, acceptance, and how to handle it.

Many people might have trouble relating, might even resent, someone whose final time is spent commiserating with friends about golfing in Scotland, skiing in Aspen, dining at L'Impero, traveling to his vacation home on Lake Tahoe, or European haunts, and relaxing in a NY apartment overlooking the East River. Death for some likely involves excruciating worry and guilt about the financial welfare of loved ones, the cost of illness, and contains none of the opportunity for distractions and material fulfillment that O'Kelly had.

That said, terminal illness compresses life, it does not change it. There are few regrets here, except the usual lament about spending too much time at the office. There are no recriminations. This book provides value in a realization that a system, some detachment, a formalization, has to impose itself on this situation, to make it palatable. That we need the comfort of family and friends, and that their emotional well being is inextricably linked with our own in times like these. This gives insight, if not a personal blueprint, to living your death the way one has led, or atleast should have led, one's life.

I had the opportunity to hear Gene O'Kelly's wife speak on an XM radio show last weekend and I was stunned by how sad she seemed to be that her husband of 28 years wanted to spend so little of his last 100 days with her or their young daughter. I mean, the guy made the time to "thank" hundreds of people who helped him along the way a-n-d write a book, but he never did get around to taking his daughter on a promised trip to Prague which (if it was medically possible) he should have done way before penning personal au revoirs. Corinne O'Kelly admitted that while Gene had some good days in his last 100, hers were very few and far between. This guy sounds like he was driven and probably pretty selfish his whole life. (Must have been a lot of fun to have to go for a last - and first! - walk with a guy you didn't know very well so he could "thank" you between brain cancer dizzy spells!) Maybe O'Kelly's story - except, of course, for his too-early death - is typical for this level executive, but it's certainly no advertisement for the lifestyle. And he doesn't come across as some kind of hero ... just a guy who realized too late that he actually was not immortal. He died like he lived - on his own terms. I'll save my sympathy for his wife, and his daughter.

Really a very thoughtful and thought provoking book about facing one's own mortality. Those reviewers who panned this book due to the professed "arrogance" of the writer have a tin ear for the true, sincere nature of this man's quest for meaning in his own demise.

Yes, he was the Chairman of KPMG, one of the largest financial accounting firms in the world. Yes, such a position does accord you wealth and all of the trappings and privileges (and responsibilities) of such a station in life.

And, most dramatically in this case, it does not allow Gene O'Kelly to cheat death, and this book is a gift to all--freely given, by an admirable human being.

Don't expect a highly polished, self-pitying, self-indulgent PR job--Just the man's true voice and his true experience in the premature twilight to his life.

If you find it hard to find beauty and meaning in the true and sincere, this book is not for you.

"Chasing Daylight" begins with the words "I was blessed..." and that is how I feel about my discovery of this wonderful book. It seems serendipitous that I found "Chasing Daylight". As I read the synopsis, I was transported back 10 years to the day my 48 year old brother Wayne was given the same sentence that Eugene O'Kelly was given. Wayne lived 132 days from that moment and his experience became even more poignant as I read Mr. O'Kelly and his wife's words. I read the book in two nights and its lessons hit home for me in many ways, one of which is in my role as an educator. I m looking to using such lessons as "managing energy" rather than time and "being open to surprises", among others with students and my work with other teachers. In my family life, I plan to not only make but to keep dates and try to live in the present. Finally, as I read, I also felt a well of compassion poring forth to the O'Kelly andd KPMG families for their loss, but immeasurable gratitude for what Mr.O'Kelly and his family shared in those last 100 days. Thank you to them.

I recommend this book even though it didn't give me what I was looking for: an understanding of death and dying. The book may help some people. Many of the reviewers said that it did. But to me it lacked depth. Perhaps because I've faced so many deaths this past year, one of them being the death of a child, I suppose I was searching for and needing more than a book can give. If you want a book to help you accept your own death or the impending death of a loved one, this isn't it.

Yet, it DOES help to collect various perspectives on death and dying to piece together your own conclusion--in this case, one from a CEO, a Type A businessman and his struggle to live in the present. At one point O'Kelly writes, "You'd think that with only three months to live, I'd be pretty good at enjoying every moment, of staying in the present. You'd think."

A previous reviewer suggested that human beings aren't "hardwired" to live in the present. Maybe so. But I think it's a case of social conditioning. As Aristotle said, "We are what we repeatedly do. . . . Men acquire a particular quality by constantly acting a particular way. You become just by performing just actions, temperate by performing temperate actions, brave by performing brave actions."

Perhaps we become present-moment thinkers when we practice it every day. This is precisely what O'Kelly learned. After 30 years of scheduling his calendar 18-months out, he struggled to stay focused on living in the present. To him, it became a matter of exercising a "lax muscle." So he practiced, step by step, to achieve Perfect Moments. In the end he found that the best moments were the "days that unfolded without planning," he concluded. "What would my life have been," he asks "if I had let spontaneity play a greater part?"

For this, I recommend the book. And I'm grateful to O'Kelly for allowing us to accompany him on his journey into the Shadow of Death. But I ached for him to tell me more. More of what he was thinking. Really thinking. More of what he expected death to be, and more about what a dying person wants from those close to him who look on helplessly.

Finally, I thank him for showing me the error of long goodbyes. He includes a quotation from a book by Elizabeth Bibesco,

"It is never good dwelling on goodbyes. It is not the being together that it prolongs, it's the parting."

O'Kelly appreciated one of his friends just saying goodbye and hanging up the phone after the conversation, rather than lingering on.

Make your goodbyes short and sweet. A wonderful lesson.

Gene O'Kelly's "Chasing Daylight" can teach all of us how to live each day to the fullest. With terminal brain cancer and only a few months to live, the author sets about getting the remainder of his life in order. I, too, am living with cancer and can deeply relate to the concept that it does not truly matter how much time we have left, but it is what we do with that time that is important. Let's face it, we are all going to die at some point; it is a question of when, not if. O'Kelly's book brings us insight on what is important in life and what is relatively insignificant. As a successful CEO, O'Kelly did not ponder those things on a daily basis. Facing his terminal illness with strength and dignity, he fully comes to realize through meditation and a deep spiritual analysis that peace and tranquility help one to face their final days and treasure the memories. He tells his story in a strong, candid manner without giving in to self-pity. The author passed away in September 2005.

I highly recommend "Chasing Daylight. "Since the author was a firm believer in the afterlife, my guess is O'Kelly is still doing just that - chasing daylight. The book is a gift to the soul.