Customer Reviews

Chastened: The Unexpected Story of My Year without Sex

5 star:		(3)
4 star:		(1)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(2)
1 star:		(3)

 

 

When thousands of talented authors who have written about important topics are turned down for book contracts, it's a travesty that a book with a premise so vacuous as this should be published. What is so special about an attractive woman who can have sex as often as she wants with whomever she wants going for one (whole!) year without sex? This is like Donald Trump writing a book about abstaining from riding in limos and helicopters for a year, and then claiming to teach us some great philosophical insight from his experiences. What we see here is an example of a conceited, elitist, and over-privileged Cambridge English major turned-"journalist" who thinks her ordinary pedestrian experiences are profound enough to teach the poor masses about the true meaning of love. News flash: lots of people are not having sex, for many reasons. And this book, claiming that a year without sex is some huge sacrifice worthy of publication, is a slap in the face to all of them. Yes, some people just aren't interested in sex. But a great many others, men and women both, can't find sex partners easily (yes, you may mock them as being "losers," "nerds," "fat," or "ugly,"--how kind of you). But some people who go for long periods of their lives without sex do so because they are battling life-threatening diseases like HIV and cancer, have had disfiguring trauma, have spinal cord injuries, have PSTD from experiences in war or being raped, or have been the victims of sexual abuse as children. Sex doesn't come so often or so easily for everyone. Even with this, the majority of people in the world are sensible enough not to confuse sex with love. There are vast numbers of people have had many more trials and severe difficulties in their lives related to love, sex, dating, and relationships than a spoiled 30-year-old who gives herself up to every guy she meets and then wonders, "where's the love?" There are many, many people out there who have amazing stories of loneliness and despair, people who are survivors of unbelievable cruelty and hardships, and then go on to learn lessons of great wisdom and the true meaning of love. These are the people who have truly profound stories to tell. Publishers, please publish their stories and don't pander to the egocentric "Paris Hilton journalists" of the world.

As a man, I was interested to get the female perspective on dating and sex (or lack thereof). I never fully got a sense of why she withheld herself, and there are several parts about clothing and other female things that (for me) didn't contribute that much to the story. Also historical and film references. I'm not interested why she wore certain outfits or why nuns decided to be chaste.

The writing style is British (though much of the story is in the States), with some slang words that require a visit to Google dictionary.

This could easily have been a short story akin to a teen's version of "What I didn't do this Summer."

WHEEEE!!! LOOK AT ME ME ME. I'M NOT HAVING SEX!!!

Big deal. This woman is just plain silly. Note to author: Nobody cares to begin with, and after this book, REALLY nobody cares.

The premise of the story is fascinating. However, the author goes into so much trivial detail that the message is lost.

I picked this book up at library . I had read a review and thought it sounded intriguing. I tried to give it a fighting chance but I just couldn't get into it... I am giving it 2 stars because in all fairness I didn't get past the first 30 pages or so.. maybe if I had stuck with it I might have gotten something out of it eventually.

Chastened is read by a lovely British voice and is very enjoyable and soothing. The author is a great writer with a clever wit that comes through in this challenge she made to herself. I was intrigued to find the scholarly references interspersed throughtout the book. My only objection is to the frequent skips in the CD. This has never occured to me except for copies I have made. I wonder if I got an original CD?

A good, thoughtful read by a clever writer.

Chastened arrived early, the service was wonderful and I would purchase from them again. The book was very interesting and insightful. I would recommend this to anyone over 30 years old.

Thank you,
V.Crane

This book came at the perfect time as I was evaluating my behavior in dating relationships. After two divorces and more dates than I can possible count this book put a lot into perspective. This is not a book from the religious right...it is written by a fairly young woman who is dealing with sexuality in the search for love. This is a very hip analysis on why you really have to use your head and not your hormones to protect your heart and your mental health. Give this to any woman who feels like she is overwhelmed by the choices she needs to make to find a truly appropriate mate.

Durex-Extra Sensitive Condoms, 100ctthis is a brief bit from the latimes reviewe of this trash, which only a few short years ago would have been consigned to the porn industry...

Her appetite for these asides seems to stem from boredom with the her premise, which soon warps from resisting men to teasing accounts of men forced to resist her. Lovers led on then let down are spared complete humiliation through use of pseudonyms and nicknames such as "the Beau," "Mr. Vermilion," "N," "Rafiq," "Pasha" and the "Quiet Guy."

one understands why men have so little respect for women when such as this is published and takes up room in the "book" section.

the picture of this woman shows her with the classic narcissistic smirk of those who are too dumb to be able to pick a decent man and keep him and therefore mmaroon from one to another without regard for the spreading of their germs or the disrespect of other women (she writes of being with another woman's fiancee, for instance).

frank sinatra famously once said that women will sell anything, maybe some day women will be smart enough to not make that true...

one can only hope that women this dumb won't have children and perpetuate the stupidity

There is way too much emphasis on having sex as opposed to building truly long-lasting foundations for relationships.