Most Helpful Customer Reviews
44 of 49 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
The Ultimate Checklist to Identify Players, August 8, 2005
This review is from: Checkmate: The Games Men Play (Hardcover)
First of all, I really appreciate authors like Mr. Crutcher openly wrote a book about the games men played in the dating arena. Mr. Crutcher has a fun, yet a compassionate tone when he was writing this book. Checkmate: The Games Men Play is one of those books that offer a checklist for women to identify players. It must not be easy for Mr. Crutcher to face and confront his past of being a player, suffering from layers of guilt and shame. I think this will always happen to manipulative people (does not matter whether you are a man or a woman) one day when they look back. Eventually, one just has to pay their dues by enduring the emotional (sometimes even physical) sufferings when we choose to run games on others.
I believe players happen in both sexes and manipulation games happen both ways. If you were hurt by players, this book helps you surface the truth and answers questions as of why he is the way he is. But this book will also stir your anger towards men in general at the same time. Don't worry. Take the experience as a learning journey and take this book as a checklist. This book is every woman's guide to identify players early in the game before women sink deep. But certainly not one that help you feel loved and better. It is only when you walk through the peaks and valleys, you learn about those manipulation games men play for sex and for the satisfaction of their ego. Their bad behavior hopefully acts as an inspiration for us as women to be a wiser, more compassionate and more loving people instead of following the players' unconscious, manipulative and stupid, naive behaviors.
I believe what goes around comes around. Maybe you do not see them suffer at this point of your life and you ask God and everyone else why it is so unfair. However, I really believe when one has played enough manipulation games just to satisfy their ego and sense of illusionary power, one will attract another who pulls the same games and tactics. One will eventually taste their own medicine by falling into traps they set forth for others. I once encountered a playboy who is everything Mr. Crutcher mentioned in his book. Ultimately, a playboy has a sickening desire wanting women to suffer for them and wanting women to depend on him to give him the illusion of power and control. So, when women turn around standing on her two feet (even better when you have the guts to step on his toes), they earn their painful lessons in the hardest way. That was how my playboy ex (well, you see, he tried to use committed relationship as a vehicle to get what he wanted... only I turned around and stepped his toes in the least expected way) learnt. Every once a while, I will assure you that your player ex will call and try to ask you back because he failed the challenge. But it makes us women feel more empowered when we say no and divorce ourselves from these drama kings. Some days I still think about my player ex wondering whether he learnt his lessons. But only to know that it is players' spiritual journey to learn how to be better people and it is not honest women's job to change them.
With players, honest people always have the chance to win the game and make him feel like a loser. Remember, players can only get hurt when they feel losing. So, you have an ultimate control to confront his bad behavior and cut contact with him. From experience, no contact is the best way in returning the favor of their sickening behavior. But with players, honest people cannot change them. Be cautious. Because players like to say, "I have changed. I changed because of you." 99% of the time that statement is not true and that statement is only another trap for him to gain power and satisfy his sickening ego. People do not change for others. People change when they realize the need to. What do you want to do when you are dealing with players? Run as far away as possible and tell him bluntly that you do not associate with people who run manipulation games. He is going to defend. But you still have a choice to not pick up the phone and blocking his emails. And it is even better when you run away from him as if he carries some kinds of disease. Actually when I think about it, it is humorous but true. Manipulative men/players do carry unhealthy disease and unhealthy emotions. Honest women just deserve better than associating/helping people who do not want to get better.
Now, I do not know who is reading my review here. However, I really hope that we all start learning to become wiser and more educated through the disappointing life experiences. As men/women in the 21st century, we are in control of our own lives and we have the ultimate power to divorce from dramatic, egoistic people when we love and care ourselves.
Help other customers find the most helpful reviews
Was this review helpful to you? Yes
No
10 of 10 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
A smooth-talking, lip-smacking, self-confessed gigolo..., January 14, 2006
This review is from: Checkmate: The Games Men Play (Hardcover)
Title: CHECKMATE: The Games Men Play
Author: Mark D. Crutcher
Genre: non-fiction/self-help/ relationships
Publication date: 2005
ISBN: 1-929642-50-4
Length: 205 pages
Edition: Hardback
Checkmate ~ The Games Men Play ~ Mark D. Crutcher ~ Literally Speaking Publishing House
"To gain understanding of the dating process, what better way to learn than from a smooth-talking, lip-smacking, self-confessed gigolo who knows how to play the game better than anyone?"
They say pride comes before a fall and that's exactly what happened to the author of this book. After playing games with the hearts of many women and acting like the eternal Peter Pan, Mark D. Crutcher, a self-confessed PLAYER (gigolo and ladies man) finally received his ultimate comeuppance when his fiancée jilted him at the alter in front of everybody. To add insult to injury, his wife-to-be married someone else on the same day!
As Mark's whole world came crashing down around him, he was forced to rethink his life and search deep into his soul for answers. It was time to come to terms with being jilted. It didn't take him long to realise how the hurt he felt was nothing compared to the pain he caused all the women who trusted and loved him. He played games with their lives for his own selfish needs. But not anymore! Having realised the error of his ways, Mark, the son of the founder of his local church, finally turned back to God for comfort. He decided to take responsibility for his actions. Written in the aftermath of being jilted by the woman he loved, (although I don't think he realised it until it was too late) this book serves as a warning to other women dating a PLAYER.
PLAYERS may seem like harmless, cheeky chappies, but it takes a lot of effort and calculating planning to achieve such a high level of deceit with so many women at the same time. For instance, Mark knew that if a woman lived locally, he must opt for the subtler approach, but if a woman he fancied lived out of his neighbourhood, he'd have to up the stakes and aggressively pursue his sexual pawn within an estimated time frame if he was to bed her. Sounds like a lot of hard work to me but to a PLAYER this comes naturally. In addition, the game is not over when a PLAYER reaches the point of having sex with his pawn for the first time; in fact it's only just begun. By using well thought out tactics he then begins to work on the mind of the woman in an attempt to control her. Yes, brainstorming the perfect outcome is a 24/7 job, and with all this experience PLAYERS are constantly learning from their mistakes and improving their success rate.
By the way, although this empowering book is aimed at women, I would suggest women keep this book away from their men! In the wrong hands `Checkmate ~ The Games Men Play' could be used as a cleverly disguised manual to teach men how to weave their way into your life and control it!
In conclusion, this National Bestseller is an analytical account of Mark D. Crutcher's own life as a PLAYER, mixed with a series of stories where men like his former self are categorised and their personalities picked to pieces for all to see. By discovering the secret tools of a PLAYER'S trade, women can study their men's behaviour to identify signs to look out for in a partner, and be prepared. With forewarning, women are able to analyse how a man's actions can negatively or positively make an impact on their lives. Why? Because PLAYERS are so-called because they have the ability to manipulate a woman into thinking she has a relationship when really she is just being used for casual, uncommitted sex in a cruel game not unlike chess. To explain chess in one sentence, the objective of the game is to place the opponent's king in an inescapable position on the game board. For the woman, once (emotionally) trapped, it's hard to let go and that's dangerous. It's exactly where the PLAYER wants her. CHECKMATE.
The reader may (or may not) sympathise with the author, who is not proud of how he used to act, but through his repentance and extremely clever description, this informative, entertaining book reveals (shocking) inside information, and some useful solutions to beat your PLAYER at his own game. Congratulations, Mark D. Crutcher, this book will surely be a success! If relationship talk is your sort of thing (and if you've read this far it must be) then you are really going to enjoy this.
Help other customers find the most helpful reviews
Was this review helpful to you? Yes
No
6 of 6 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
Heed the warnings, February 3, 2005
Ladies, have you ever imagined how stress free relationships would be
if we possessed a Geiger counter for men? Maybe something that would
generate a signal when a player is approaching? Unfortunately there is
no such device, but all is not lost. Mark Crutcher shares some invaluable
information, and generates some insight on the games men play.
What Mr. Crutcher does is break down the player's mentality into three
skill levels, and shares the characteristics and the signals of each level.
With short stories, he gives a wide-angle view of the process a player uses.
The book is frank, candid, and at times almost woeful though not really
in a negative sense. While reading, I began to realize
that women do have a built in warning system. We may not get warning
bells but, we do get a certain resonance which should produce a strategy
to nullify the game. But too often we fail to heed the warning;
each woman thinks she is the exception not the rule. The points shared
in this book shuld change our perception or at least increase our awareness.
He shares the objective of a player and he shares his personal pain when
the woman he loved walked out of his life; without any warning. Since then,
he has vowed to never cause another woman the pain that he felt. This
book is the first step in his healing process and possibly a cleansing of
his spirit.
Checkmate: The Games Men Play analyzes a man's psyche from his first
hello and intimates that the game really begins once a man has scored.
I applaud Mr. Crutcher for this enlightening heads up; it is much
appreciated. But I would like to offer this author a suggestion,
if partly in jest. I suggest you keep your head up and an occasional
lookout; for you have shared some valuable trade secrets and an inside view
of a player's mind. Ladies this is an excellent book to read
if you're tired of the games.
Help other customers find the most helpful reviews
Was this review helpful to you? Yes
No
|
