Customer Reviews

Chelsea Horror Hotel: A Novel

5 star:		(7)
4 star:		(9)
3 star:		(2)
2 star:		(2)
1 star:		(6)

 

 

I picked up this book as a Ramones fan, and on a whim. I was expecting something entertaining, perhaps crass and cutting edge, but I was floored to find a really great piece of work by Dee Dee Ramone.

Where do I start? How do I categorize this book? Horror? Humor? Autobiography? All of the above, I must say. Part Dante's Inferno, part Kafka's Metamorphosis, part Phillip K. Dick's "A Scanner Darkly," yet all Dee Dee Ramone. I'm serious! My major in college was Comparative Literature, and reading Chelsea Horror Hotel brought me back to the most beautifully twisted examples of literature, both classic and modern, that I have read. Put Dante Alighieri and Franz Kafka in a time machine, point them toward CBGB's, and you're there!

Dee Dee Ramone sets himself as the central character, shacking up with his girl Barbara and dog Banfield at The Chelsea Hotel, New York's hang-out for the underground hipsters. It is also the site where Sid Vicious killed Nancy Spungeon in the late 1970s.

The entire story takes you through Dee Dee's paranoia of AIDS, perpetual quest to shoot up, repeated encounters with ghosts of dead friends like Sid Vicious and Stiv Bators, bloody murders, the awareness of a secret Satanic society that conducts grisly tortures in the hotel basement, and occasional desperate plea-bargains with God. What makes this story so twisted is the coming and goings of the "fine lines." There are times when it is clear that a segment is grounded in Dee Dee's light grip on reality, but these moments often morph into disturbing paranormal events that seem to indicate that Dee Dee is swimming through a blurry array of nightmares, drug induced hallucinations, sheer paranoia, or improbable realities. It's often hard to tell! Yet the reader is never lost; you will find yourself racing through the pages, eager to see how each frightening misadventure is solved.

Part of what makes this story work so well is that while Dee Dee is the main focus of the story, he avoids painting himself as a sympathetic character. He portrays himself as a borderline sort who, despite frequent self-serving and malicious actions, believes that he is a nice person who is wronged and agitated by all who surround him. He does an excellent job of illustrating an individual who is emotionally tormented and forever craving a fix. Unlike so many "street poets," you see no glamour in his crack & heroin surroundings; you see one great big nightmare.

Nightmarish from start to finish, yes. Strange thing is, despite the desperation throughout the novel, I did not find it depressing in the least. I found myself impatient to get to the next page, just to see the next twisted mess Dee Dee would get himself into.

And forget the lame anti-drug films our health teachers showed us throughout our junior high years; "Chelsea Horror Hotel" would make me steer clear of the rock, the pipe, and the needle FOR GOOD!

One caution: this book is not for the weak of heart (or stomach). Lots of graphic descriptions of blood, vomit, and millions of grotesque mealie-mealie bugs!

"Chelsea Horror Hotel" is Dee Dee's crowning bookshelf glory. It may not be a bestseller, but I hope it nevers fades into complete obscurity. Dee Dee Ramone may be gone from this world, and I hope he's at peace in a much more placid setting than The Chelsea Horror Hotel!

I pre-ordered "Chelsea Horror Hotel" and read the entire book the day it arrived. Dee Dee's first novel is highly entertaining. Funny, bizarre, icky, and creepy, it centers around Dee Dee's life at his apartment in the Chelsea Hotel. He thinks he is living in the room where Nancy Spungen died and things just get worse from there. He is in hell, dealing with his meanie wife Barbara, his nagging talking dog Banfield, and the other creepy residents of the hotel. Dee Dee tries to keep to himself but everyone is so annoying he tangles with them, hoping to save his sanity. That only exacerbates his problems. To top it all off, he is soon hounded by the pain in the butt ghosts of Johnny Thunders, Jerry Nolan, and Sid Vicious. Dee Dee writes in his inimitable deadpan style and his vivid imagination and graphic details make the story really come alive. He's always been a gifted storyteller. Right on, Dee Dee!

Black leather! Knee-hole pants! Classic!

There are two distinct similarities between Dee Dee's debut novel "Chelsea Horror Hotel" and the music he and the Ramones have given us...both are defiant and timeless.

Dee Dee's stream of consciousness writing will catch you from the very beginning and never let go. There's a wonderful gritty quality to his long form writing style. The individual who penned so many great songs is clearly present within the covers of this novel.

It's surprising how many of Dee Dee's songs could act as the soundtrack to "Chelsea Horror Hotel". If you've ever wondered why the Ramones sang, "I Don't Wanna Go Down To The Basement"...you need only read this novel to find out! At times, some of the scenes that Dee Dee describes have a sort of "comic-book" feel to them. The insertion of some of his original artwork lends itself nicely and compliments these passages.

His biographical stuff was a lot of fun to read, but "Chelsea Horror Hotel" surpasses his earlier work. This is a FANTASTIC debut novel. Keep it up, Dee Dee! I look forward to your next one!

Gabba Gabba Hey!

If William Burroughs had a drugged-out nightmare involving Bret Easton Ellis' gory scenes from American Psycho, and it was all written out by an 11-year old, it might read something like Chelsea Horror Hotel. This short novel (generous line spacing, margins and font size make this 250+ pager a one-hour read) centers around Dee Dee Ramone and his talking dog, as they score drugs and violently torture and kill just about all the residents in the Chelsea Hotel.

The book is one long freaky and disgusting hallucination, and could be used as a lesson for kids to not do drugs. People turn into demons, cockroaches crawl around by the millions, eyeballs go flying, Satan worshippers toss junkies into piranha-filled bathtubs, and Sid Vicious and Johnny Thunders haunt Dee Dee like junkie Obe-Wans. It's not a good book by any means - thematically or grammatically - but it's by Dee Dee so it's still pretty amusing (sort of like his horrendous yet ironically cool rap album).

If you bother wading through all the gore, but you get some insight into his feelings toward his mother and wife, the fame of being a Ramone, and his love-hate relationship with the 70's rockstar/addict life. The last page is probably the best - Dee Dee injecting his last hit into his skull while singing "Chinese Rocks" with Sid Vicious, Johnny Thunders, Jerry Nolan, and Stiv Bators as he slips down into Hell where the rest of the original Ramones lineup awaits.

In the end, it's easy to begin to empathize with Dee Dee (although that's what he wants). ...you sort of hope he'll figure himself out someday, preferably before he OD's like his other angels and demons.

The book Chelesa Horror Hotel was an excellent book depicting the "fun" yet tragic life of the Ex-Ramone, Dee Dee Ramone. It shows in great(almost too great)detail, Dee Dee trying to survive in a horriable hotel, called the Chelsea Hotel. Some aspects of his life would be living with his "loving" wife Barbara, doing heroin with his dead pals (Sid Vicious, Johnny Thunders etc.) and trying not to get eaten alive by the Satanic Cult in the basement. Dee Dee has but one friend in life, his "talking" dog. The one thing i did not like about this book, was that sometimes you could not tell the difference between reality/fiction. He would explain what he saw was happening when he was high in the same detail as he would during his normal life. If you don't mind that then The Chelsea Horror Hotel is a MUST READ.

While living in the Chelsea Hotel, Dee Dee Ramone is experiencing many crazy things. He has a talking dog, crazy neighbors, and even crazier dead punk rock friends. He is tormented day in and day out by them along with the filthiness of the hotel, rude staff and fear of catching just about every disease in the book. He will take you along for his adventure of drugs, death and his all around miserable life. This is a book written with a crazy and demented sense of humor. I highly recommend this, it is a very interesting and comical read.

Many of the other reviews for this book blast Dee Dee for failing to use
correct grammar, syntax, etc. etc. But, hey guess what? Through this novel
Dee Dee sticks the middle finger up at literary convention. James Joyce?? He is
a bit overrated as are the other so called great writers that belong to the literary
canon. Punk Rock was about moving away from the music conventions that were
and still are in place. Music Theory was non existent in Punk rock (the circle of fifths??
who needs them!!??) This novel takes on that very Punk Rock spirit and does away with
convention. The erratic and sometimes pointless words, scenarios, etc., that other reviewers
have pointed out (and failed to examine) do have meaning. They mirror the pointlessness and meaningless
that the protagonist may experience inwardly. There is a method to the madness that Dee Dee wreaks
in the text. The text explores life on the margins of society within an urban setting and moves away
from suburban life(which is droll and riddled with Green Day and OffSpring punks that say "yes sir" and "no mam"). The Punk Rock lifestyle of Dee Dee Ramone is one of former glory, drug hazed days and surrounded
by poverty and a vast array of marginalized figures. This book is a bit rough, but so was Punk Rock, which lives only as a memory. I highly recommend this novel.

OK, DeeDee is no James Joyce, but I think the other reviewers are being a bit hard on him and going into this with expectations that are a way too high. Give the guy a break, he's a Ramone and he writes like one. I thought it was fun after reading something like "Please Kill Me" by Legs McNeil.

Dee Dee's childish style is sort of endearing and it reads like a punk rock William Burroughs when you get to the drug induced hallucinations. Basically, DeeDee is trapped in the Chelsea Hotel and keeps having heroin trips involving Sid Vicious and Johnny Thunders who want him to join their band (overdose? ok so it is obvious in parts :) His various encounters with the other characters are amusing. Its hard to believe the Chelsea was such a dump (it was) when they try to be so posh now.

Chelsea Horror Hotel is the brutally hilarious account of a day in the life of an ex-Ramone and his girlfriend living in the infamous Chelsea Hotel in New York City. Follow Dee Dee Ramone and Barbara (and Banfield, the couple's talking dog!) as they move from one room to another in the hotel trying to cope with the insanity, violence, drug taking, and satanic rituals that plague the Chelsea. See Dee Dee meet up with old friends like Johnny Thunders, Jerry Nolan, Stiv Bators, and Sid Vicious. Beelzebub himself even makes an appearance. The Chelsea Horror Hotel is a must for fans of Dee Dee and the Ramones. Read the book and take a peek into the vivid and demented imagination of its ingenious author. Kudos to Dee Dee Ramone for a fine first novel.

I have to say, to expect this to be a piece of literary classic genius is ridiculous. If you go into it with this fact in mind, you'll experience a truly enjoyable and mind bending read. Knowing that you're inside of Dee Dee Ramone's head, well, what's left of it, is truly intriguing. I think that the funniest aspects of this book, his relationship with his dog and his fear of Tiger Leprosy, were not only entertaining, but benchmarks of the state of mind that led to his death not too much farther down that road. As for hanging out with Sid and Jerry, more power to ya Dee Dee. Hope you enjoyed the life that you had.